A recent article in the Boston Globe brought this subject to mind.The author of the article brought to light that the path to college is not always completed in 4 years. Many students end up dropping out, transferring, postponing and even re-evaluating their career paths. The statistics are a bit staggering, but I’d have to say not that surprising. He pointed out that the 4-year college plan is NOT the norm.

There are times when college is NOT the right path for your child after graduation. I’ve had personal experience with this and have watched many kids crash and burn because they weren’t ready. Preparing your teen for college is important, but it’s also important to know when they are ready and to be prepared for the unexpected. That’s the hard part of parenting: recognizing the signs and helping them to make the right decision when the signs are there.

Here are two cases in point: both from personal experience.

Case 1

My brother entered college after graduating from high school because it was the thing to do. He thought he wanted to study geology. But once he entered he struggled. He didn’t possess the best study habits nor did he have the academic focus or the drive at the time to be successful. After a few semesters, he dropped out and went to work full time. During the next few years, he found his passion. He reentered college, graduated, attended seminary, graduated, and pursued his doctorate in theology. It wasn’t that college wasn’t for him. It was just that he wasn’t ready until he found his passion. Once he did, it was clear that he had the academic drive and commitment to graduate.

Case 2

My son graduated from high school and entered the military. It was clear that college was NOT for him and that the military was where he needed to be. After serving for 4 years, he went straight to college. He was not ready. He crashed and burned after just one semester and went to work at a full time job. After another year, he enrolled in a community college, retaking all the courses he had previously failed. He managed to receive a 4.0 and entered a 4 year university, graduating magna cum laude with a degree in Asian History. Once he was ready, his academic path was stellar.

You, better than anyone, know your teen. My daughter was ready and excelled, graduating in 4 years and attending graduate school and graduating in 18 months. While she and my son took different paths, they both graduated. It’s important not to discourage your child if their academic path has detours and they don’t follow the 4-year plan. Because according to statistics, it’s not the norm.