Over the last few weeks, I’ve been having conversations on Twitter about the emotional aspect of choosing a college.
As a parent of two teens who headed off to college, this is no surprise. My daughter’s college deal-breaker had nothing to do with academics or college rankings. From the time she was small, she wanted to go to college in Boston. Coming from Texas, that was a bit of a surprise–especially since she had never visited Boston. But when college decision time came around, Bentley College beat out SMU because of location. My son’s college deal-breaker came when a buddy of his in the Marine Corps told him a college in Texas had “hot chicks”.
I also heard a college student say she transferred freshman year because another school had a sink in the freshmen dorm rooms. That has to be the first time I’ve ever heard that described as a college deal-breaker!
While parents are thinking academics and cost, their college-bound teens have that deal-breaker in mind. It might be Greek life, or the fact that it’s the #1 party school. But trust me, there’s a deal-breaker in the back of their head. And you might be surprised to find out what it is. All this time you thought they were looking for a college with an excellent engineering program, they really wanted a college where the girls outnumbered the boys!
What does this mean for you as a parent? Talk to your college-bound teen. Find out what their deal-breaker is and help them choose a perfect-fit college that addresses it. There’s nothing wrong with having a deal-breaker, but it’s your job to guide them to find the college that makes them happy and provides them with an education that benefits them in the future. If the college with the sink in the dorm rooms also values your teen and offers an excellent program in her chosen field of finance, you’ve found that “perfect fit” college!
Makes a ton of sense! Thanks!
Suzanne, I love this post. It reminds me of when I’d ask the admissions director where I worked what her predictions were regarding enrollment and she would often respond: It’s hard to say when you’re relying on the decision-making abilities of 17 year-olds. It would seem we need to know the deal breakers, too!
This post is right on! When it comes down to making that final decision, the student’s comfort level is the priority. Where can they feel at home? It’s difficult to measure this sometimes based on a college visit or talk with an admissions rep – Emotion is affective and personal. Parents discussing these emotional factors with their kids is essenial.
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