This past Friday we all watched and listened in horror as the media reported the incomprehensible news about another school massacre in Newtown, Connecticut. It is every parent’s nightmare, every teacher’s fear, and every American’s frustration that our children are no longer safe (in school, at the mall, at a movie theater, or in any public place).

I refuse to focus on the shooter or even justify the reasons behind his decision to shoot innocent people without regard for human life. That, therein, lies the problem. These young men who feel the need to “clear a room” by taking out innocent people have obviously had some sort of disconnect from reality. To them, the lives are merely objects or targets in a game. At least, that’s my uneducated, purely inexperienced observation.

What can we, as parents and a nation, do to change the disconnect? How can we teach our children and young adults to value human life and stay grounded in reality? Do we feel helpless to change things and hopeless for the future of our children?

These are all questions every parent needs to ask today; and not just ask, but begin to make some positive effort to examine and find ways to change the parenting dynamic in our children’s lives. I know that my parents never feared for these things and I never feared for my children either. Until Columbine we all felt our children were safe at school. Now we even wonder if it’s safe to go to the movies or shopping at a mall.

Somehow we have to get back to the basics: morality, respect, love, kindness, and hands-on parenting. We have to make the time for our kids: teach them about the value of human life, help them learn to respect, love and be kind to one another, and not be afraid to get help if we see a potential problem arise. Listen, listen, listen to your children. Don’t just text; talk to them. Quite simply, don’t be lax in your parenting. It’s easy to turn on a movie, let them play video games, or spend hours on their computers in social media. It’s difficult in today’s fast-paced world to make the time–but it MUST be done. We MUST make a commitment, as parents and even grandparents, to teach our children the things they need to know to prevent that disconnect in the future.

We all hugged our kids last Friday and thanked God that they were safe. Those parents in Newton, Connecticut won’t get the chance to affect their children’s futures. A young man took that away;  but we can honor them and their children’s memories by making a conscious effort to teach this generation that life is valuable and that there is a difference between reality and fantasy.

Someone said this weekend that one way we can honor those innocent children is to do 20 acts of kindness this month. I like that positive reaction. We can’t change the past, but we can certainly impact the future.

My God bless and keep those precious little souls and may he bring comfort to their families during this difficult time.