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Last Sunday I was listening to a radio talk show on IT and a mom called in with a horror story about her teenage son. She was asleep in bed one night while her son was staying with her ex-husband. About 1am her phone beeped and Skype opened. She saw a conversation between her son (who had apparently loaded Skype on her phone without her knowledge) and an adult male. When she chimed in and asked him who he was, he asked who she was and told her to butt out of the conversation. As she was calling the police, the man asked her son where he lived, how old he was and started initiating a face-to-face meeting. Needless to say, she was shocked. The radio host told her she should be “spying” on her son so this doesn’t happen again.

Keeping your teens safe

Spying on your teens may seem a bit harsh and our kids would certainly rebel if we used that word. But parents need to be aware that threats are real and just because you feel technologically challenged, that’s not an excuse to put your kids at risk. The good news is that help is out there. According to Stacy Ross on  The Online Mom:

I suggest that those of us who are Baby Boomers or Generation X-ers, who weren’t raised with a bottle in one hand and an iPad in the other, are learning the “language of the land online” so to speak, right alongside our offspring. That dynamic is a compelling one, worthy of its own bit of tender loving care.

We need time to foster a relationship with our kids that establishes a system of communication and guidelines for this world, which seems so natural to them but is still so novel to many of us old fogies! We are helping our kids navigate in a new online language and culture, while at the same time assuming roles as strong parental figures. As we do this, we are wise to bookmark resources and find mentors that can help. Entrusting kids with adult-like privileges such as e-mail accounts, smartphones, social media platforms, etc. is no small endeavor.

Most of us weren’t raised with a smartphone or an iPad but our kids and grandkids have been. The concept of pay phones, dial up internet and television with no more than three channels seems unfathomable to them.

An overwhelming task

As if parents don’t have enough responsibility already, we’re faced with policing our kids online activity. Call it spying. Call it being nosey. I prefer to call it smart parenting. And while we’re at it, what about limiting their time with these gadgets. I see kids watching iPhones while in their strollers, and families at restaurants not communicating with one another because every kid is either on an iPhone, texting, or watching a movie on an iPad. Teens are the worst–their whole lives are wrapped around their smartphones and other technology. The more time they are online, the more risk they will be targeted.

Where can you get help?

What’s the solution?

• Stay informed on security issues and tools to monitor their tech usage. The Online Mom is a great resource for this.
• Set limits and guidelines for time spent with these devices. Think this is hard? You bet it is. But if you’re feeling frustrated, Fern Weiss, a parent coaching expert, is conducting a FREE teleseminar to help: Teens and Screens.
• Don’t ignore the issue. Tech gadgets aren’t going away and parents need to stay informed and be proactive.

Watch this video to see how important it is to pay attention to your teen’s online behavior.