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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from pocsmom.com to parentingforcollege and vice versa.

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Standardized tests. Those two words or their acronyms are yelled, and screeched and treated with disdain in every college-bound household. Those two words cause fights, stressful days and nights, frustration over the teen’s lack of commitment, and absolute terror in the hearts of most college-bound teens. Nobody, and I mean nobody, likes taking tests.

Unfortunately for all of us, colleges use those tests to not only measure a student’s academic achievements, but to determine whether or not the student will be able to handle the rigorous academics of college. Whether your teen is taking the SAT, ACT, AP tests, or SAT subject tests it’s a given that fights will erupt. To quote a line from one of my favorite movies (The Devil Wears Prada), GIRD YOUR LOINS!

Parent Expectations

Parents expect their student to study hard, take practice tests, bone up on their vocabulary and prepare for the tests. They pay for tutors, use flash cards to drill them, and do just about anything to motivate them to do their best. Why? Because we know that the standardized tests will affect their college offers of admission.

But does any of this work? Not if your student isn’t invested in the game. I’ve talked to SAT tutors who tell stories of students barely paying attention, not trying and having a lackadaisical attitude about the test prep. All the test prep in the world won’t help if your student doesn’t see the value of preparation. You know  your student and you know what motivates them. Test preparation is just like any other activity–if they see the value of excelling, they will do their best.

Nancy Berk, author of College Bound and Gagged, sums up parent anxiety over standardized tests:

Student Expectations

If you don’t think your student is stressed about these tests, think again. Even the best students worry and fret about their scores. They have heard all throughout high school that the standardized test scores will make a difference on their college applications. Good scores = safety schools. Great scores = dream colleges. They know without you telling them the value of these tests.

Odds are, your student puts more pressure on themselves than you do. They may not show it and you may not see it but it’s there. Because they are stressed already, your stress level can make it even worse. They don’t want to disappoint you; they want you to be proud. If they sense you are anxious and interpret that as lack of faith in their ability, it makes it difficult for them to focus on the test.

What can you do to help? Remain calm and encourage them when you see them trying. Let them know that you expect them to do well but there’s no pressure on your part; test day will be much easier for them (and you).

College Expectations

Colleges, even if they say they don’t, use the standardized tests as a factor when considering students for admission. However, it’s not the only factor they use. Students with less than stellar test scores but stellar applications, often gain admission to their first choice college. Standardized tests are important, but they are not the most important component of the application. Colleges are looking for well-rounded students, not just brainiacs.

Putting too much pressure on the student to score high on these tests clouds the application process. In order to focus on the entire process, it’s best if parents and students look at the big picture. That means the essay, their academic record and their accomplishments play an integral roll in the application, just as the standardized test scores.

Stressing over tests just adds more stress in an already stressful process.

For more advice on surviving standardized tests, check out Wendy’s blog.