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And so it begins–the waiting game. Every parent of a college-bound teen has to experience this right of passage: waiting for admissions decisions. Will she or won’t she get in to her dream college? Will she get enough financial aid to ease the financial burden? How will she react to the news (good or bad)?
If your teen applies EA (Early Action) or ED (Early Decision) the wait should be over soon. For those of you whose teens have chosen regular admissions, the wait will be much longer. During the waiting period, tension ensues in the household with both students and their parents. The stress over college admissions decisions can weigh heavy on your college-bound teen. It’s more important to them than getting asked to the senior prom. So, as I’ve said before, “gird your loins”!
What can you do to help ease the pressure and alleviate some of the stress?
Create diversions
Family activities, especially over the holidays, will help them push the anxiety and stress to the back of their minds. Diversions will help them focus on other things besides what they consider to be the “ultimate acceptance or rejection” from the colleges.
Focus on their strengths
When you see them do something “grand”, acknowledge it. Even the little things like helping a friend with homework or taking the time to give a younger sibling attention. This well improve their self esteem and if and when a rejection letter arrives the blow might be a little softer.
Reinforce your love for them
You may think your kids know how you feel, but use every opportunity to tell them and show them you love them. Your love will help them with the anxiety and stress. They will find it much easier to discuss their distress when they know you love them.
Take a second look at the safety schools
With so much competition for college admission, it’s likely your college-bound teen will gain an offer of admission to one of their safety schools. Surprisingly, many students tell stories of how their safety school was a better choice, especially after they examined their strengths.
Remind them that this is only one step in the rest of their life
No parent likes their child to face rejection; but it’s a fact of life. I like to remind parents and students that often what you consider to be a disappointment could create another opportunity for success and growth. One (or more) rejection does not define who you are, just as offers of admission do not as well. The key is to attend the college that wants you and best fits your needs and expectations.
Celebrate their success
They have made it through 12 years of school and are able to apply to college. That’s an accomplishment in itself. Focus on this milestone in their life while you wait.
Parenting college-bound teens can be challenging, but it’s also very rewarding when you see them become independent adults who embrace their futures.