What frustrates parents most about college prep? I hear the frustration in parents’ voices every day about the overwhelming amount of knowledge a parent and student need to navigate the college maze. I call it a maze because that’s exactly how it feels. All throughout the process, parents feel lost, confused, off-track and often bewildered.
Not understanding your part in the process
It’s difficult for parents to know how involved you should be in the college prep process. It’s a balancing act between helping and hurting. Where do you pitch in? Should you teen handle everything alone? When do you cross the line?
In today’s world of highly involved parents, you need some help to define your boundaries and give your student the slack he needs to become independent:
Top 10 Dos and Don’ts of Parenting a College-Bound Teen
Motivating your student
I had an unmotivated student. It’s not that he wasn’t capable of achieving academic success; it was just that he didn’t have the motivation or the desire to do his best. He never soared in high school, or in the first semester of college, but he did reach his academic potential, finally.
It was hard having a child who didn’t grasp his full potential, no matter how much I told him he was capable of straight A’s. It just didn’t matter to him. Passing with average grades was good enough for him. Those grades, however, contributed to some difficult life choices and some hard lessons along the way. In the end, there were four tips that finally motivated him academically:
4 Tips to Motivate an Unmotivated Student
Finding a way to pay for the high costs
If you have a college-bound teen you’re well aware of the cost of college–it’s high. In a recent story in Business Week, one graduate confessed she had given up on her student loan debt of $186,000. She is not alone. With the nation struggling under a $1 trillion student debt crisis, stories like hers are nothing uncommon. For the first time ever, the national student loan default rate exceeds the credit card delinquency rate, and so long as student loans remain one of the few types of debt that can’t be discharged in bankruptcy, chances are the situation won’t improve any time soon.
As her parent, it’s up to you to make sure she doesn’t fall prey to debt that she cannot repay after graduation. Before she ever accepts an offer of admission, you need to talk to her about financing college. Following are a few tips to help broach that uncomfortable topic with your college-bound teen:
Talking to Your Kids About Financing College
And you might also like to read:
10 Ways to Attend College for Free (or almost free)
Getting help and knowing who to ask
I was speaking with a parent the other night about advice her daughter received from an independent college counselor regarding standardized tests. The counselor told the student not to bother with either the SAT or ACT; they weren’t necessary. He made this statement before receiving a list of colleges and asking if she was applying to test optional schools! The parent questioned the validity of this advice, and rightly so.
With college admissions becoming ever more competitive, it may seem logical to consider working with an independent counselor. They can offer expertise and a personalized approach to the complex, time-consuming, and often stressful college prep, search and application process. But ask any group of parents and you will hear a variety of opinions. While some parents feel that engaging an independent counselor is an essential part of helping their student be a competitive applicant to his or her top choice schools, others question whether hiring someone adds value beyond what a student can already receive from parents and the high school.
Some parents choose to guide their student through the process and some choose to hire a professional. Neither is right nor wrong. The decision should be based on each family’s individual needs and resources.
Need some help trying to decide? Here’s an article I wrote for University Parent:
Should You Work With an Independent Counselor?
How to handle rejection
It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. The best of times—getting an offer of admission. The worst of times—getting a letter of rejection. Or is it really? Is there any way to spin the disappointment? Parents have dealt with their kids facing rejection throughout their lives, but there is no greater disappointment that losing what you feel is your dream—getting in to your dream college.
I’ve found some very wise words from some very wise experts over the last several weeks. When the emotions subside and your college-bound teen is ready to talk, show them these words. It could open their eyes to the truth about college rejection letters:
The Truth about College Rejection Letters