This past week, I’ve been discussing the financial aid awards and how they affect your student’s college choice. When those award packages arrive, it may be time for some tough love. The award may not be enough to justify sending your college-bound teen to her dream college. If your student asks this question, “Why can’t I attend my dream college?”, be prepared for an answer.

I had to answer that question when my daughter was accepted to a college she had dreamed of attending since middle school. She worked hard to be accepted and when her offer of admission arrived, she was beyond excited. Her dream had become a reality–until the award package arrived. Then, she was crushed. The only aid they offered was federal student loans. She had been “gapped” and I knew we were going to be forced to cross that college off the list. Yes. She had applied to other colleges that offered substantial aid and scholarships. Yes. They were colleges she wanted to attend. But they weren’t her first choice and her dream college was within her grasp. Or was it?

I had to have a very tough conversation with my daughter. I explained to her the cost of the college was way beyond our ability to pay. We discussed student loans, parent loans and appeals. But we both knew that racking up debt to attend was not logical or financially practical. We had placed all her dreams on financial aid and when it didn’t measure up to our expectations, we were forced to move on; with many tears, much sobbing and tremendous disappointment.

We took a look at the other offers of admission. With scholarships and aid, she would only have to take out minimal student loans; making it manageable to pay back after graduation. One college even offered a full-ride scholarship. It was clear that these colleges wanted her and demonstrated it by backing it up with generous aid packages. There were some strong contenders among the other colleges and it was time to take a second look; and we did.

We visited the colleges that offered the greatest amount of financial aid. She toured the campuses (some for the first time) and was able to see herself at two of the colleges that offered similar aid packages. What was the deciding factor? Location. She chose the college that was in the same city as her dream college. Part of the lure of the dream college was the location and since this was at the top of her list, it tipped the scales for her.

What was the outcome? She fell in love with her second choice college. It was a perfect fit for her academically, socially and financially. But the real payoff was at graduation when she had minimal student loan debt and was able to start her life without the burden of unmanageable student loan payments. Our smart decision paid off; and she understand why she could not attend her dream college.