Yes. You could come out and ask the question. But the odds are your teen probably doesn’t know; and even if he does answer, it might not be an honest one. It might be what he thinks you want to hear. Your child needs some “mean” emotional skills before move-in day, as evidenced by all the college kids calling their parents to say, “I don’t like it here. Can I come home?”

How do you know if your teen is ready for college? Ask yourself some questions and be honest about the answers. The answers to these questions will be a good indicator about whether or not your teen is ready for college or could use some help getting prepared. You have the summer to help him practice these important independent life skills.

Does he know how to self-advocate?

It could happen on the first day of college. Your student needs help. He needs to speak with an advisor. Talk with a professor. Have a conversation with the RA. If he constantly runs to you for help in high school, how will he ever learn to advocate for himself? Colleges expect students to handle these situations by themselves. If he can’t deal with problems now, it’s a good indicator he won’t be able to handle them in college.

Does he know how to resolve conflict?

Roommate conflict is the number one reason students are unhappy the first few weeks of college. Being placed with a roommate that does not match your student’s personality and habits can be overwhelming. Conflict arises daily in college: with friends, with professors, with administration. If he goes to college without this emotional skill he will be more likely to “phone home” asking for help every time a conflict with someone arises.

Does he make friends easily and possess the necessary social skills?

Students who sit in their room alone day after day will not survive in college. They need a support group: friends to turn to when they are homesick or struggling. The social aspect of college is key to surviving four years away from home. Going to college far from the comfort of home and not knowing anyone can be a deal-breaker for the shy, uninvolved student.

Does he know how to recognize and avoid risky behavior?

There are going to be opportunities in college to participate in dangerous behavior: drinking, drugs, hooking up, and reckless driving to name a few. Students often see college as an opportunity to participate in activities that parents would not encourage while they are living at home. Does he have the tools to recognize and avoid the consequences of these behaviors?

Has he been away from home for an extended period of time?

So many first time college students have never been away from home without parents. A few weeks away from home gives them a taste of what life is like on their own. If your student has never been away from home or on his own, college will be a difficult adjustment.

Preparing your student for the emotional aspect of college will be best for him and for you. If he’s ready to venture out on his own, you will be less stressed about dropping him off on move-in day. And you most likely won’t receive the dreaded phone call: “I want to come home.”