Yes. It’s that time of year again. Parents are trekking hundreds and even thousands of miles to drop off their students at college. For most it’s bittersweet. For moms, it’s a tornado churning inside our hearts. On one hand we are happy for our children. They are now grown up (or so they say) and ready to venture out into the world. On the other hand, our hearts are breaking. The years have flown by and we aren’t quite ready to say goodbye. Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Wasn’t it only yesterday that we brought them home from the hospital. They were so small and helpless. When they grabbed our finger and smiled we melted. We wanted to give them everything and we wanted them to have every one of their dreams come true.
And then, the toddler years arrived. With all the “nos” and the “mine” and the dreaded potty training. Most of us felt there would be nothing worse than this. Temper tantrums ruled our house and don’t even get me started on the bedtime tug of war.
But then, they grew up to be teenagers. And we longed for the terrible twos again. During the teen years, we often found ourselves longing for the day when they would leave home. Can college come soon enough? Especially during the summer after high school graduation. Tempers flared, doors were slammed and we wondered just who was living in our house.
Where did the time go? In a few days or weeks, you will be saying goodbye to that child you raised and he or she will be leaving a huge hole in your heart. In spite of it all, you will miss them terribly. And don’t even think they won’t miss you. They may put on a brave front, pull away from the hugs, and hold back the tears, but it will be just as hard for them as it is for you.
It won’t be long before you get the phone call, “Mom, I need . . . “. And once again, you will be aware that it doesn’t really matter what age they are, they will always be your little girl or boy.
Congratulations to every parent who will be dropping off their child at college soon. Hold on to the memories. Believe it or not, they will comfort you in the months ahead.
Hi Suzanne! I am just curious if you hear often about freshman (or any grade) being told to move dorm rooms in a day only 2 weeks into the first semester??? My niece was told to move to another dorm as they were moving boys into her dorm unit. Note: the dorm contract stated that someone can be moved at any time. Then her dorm mate told her she would prefer to live with a friend than to live with her. She is feeling major rejection & does NOT want to go back to college. Any thoughts article you can send my way? Thank you! Leslie
Leslie, Dorm problems in college are the worst. Unfortunately, disagreements with roommates cause more stress than college itself. My suggestion is for her to go to the RA and discuss the situation. Did the new roommate get approval to move in with a friend? Is there someone she knows that she could request to live with? Your niece is going to have to be proactive on this one and speak to her RA. I’m sure the RA will be able to help comfort her and help her find a suitable living situation. Under no circumstances should her parents get involved except to offer some “tough love” and encourage her to return to college.
There is a great group on Facebook that might offer some more insight for you–parents who have dealt with these type of issues. https://www.facebook.com/groups/universityparent/
Suzanne, I am certain that dorm problems in college are the worst and that disagreements with roommates cause more stress than college itself. The RA’s were at the dorm on Saturday when my niece was moved by her family and friends. Yes the new roommate did get approval to move in with her friend. There isn’t someone she knows that she could request to live with. I have talked to my niece about being proactive and speaking to the RA. Unfortunately, the RA was allowing the students to drink alcohol in the common area’s of the dorm and was probably threatened by my sister’s comments so I suggested that we just drop any more comments. Retribution for my niece can be ugly and I was concerned about them getting involved.
My niece did return last night. Her new roommate (not the same one who moved) was having sex with her boyfriend when they arrived. When my niece went to say goodbye to her parents, the roommate and her boyfriend were gone. This has become a nightmare but I keep reinforcing that she needs to stand up for herself and speak to her roommate about her discomfort with certain things. Note: the new roommate has been stealing food from my niece too. Ugh! We will work it out.
Thank you for the Facebook information. This will all work out in the end…
I have a junior in HS so I will soon be dealing with the same kind of stuff. The difference will be that my daughter is tough, speaks her mind and doesn’t take anything from anyone. She has played sports since she was 7 so she has learned some great life skills. I pray it will be different 🙂
I will be reading and signing up for your information everyday going forward…
Leslie
Unfortunately, the more parents and other adults get involved, the worse it will be. Here’s the hierarchy of who your niece needs to talk to to get this resolved: 1-her roommate (if nothing changes move to) 2-the RA (if nothing changes move to) 3-Resident Life director (if nothing changes move to) 4-administration. This is the last resort but I’m confident that the Resident Life director will handle the situation. It’s going to be hard for her not to experience some backlash from all of this but if she can have comfortable living arrangements it will help her adjust.