Unless you have been hiding under a rock for the last week or so, you’re probably aware of the college cheating scandal now known as #VarsityBlues. Some over-anxious parents found it necessary to pay what they call “bribes” to get their students into what they call “prestigious colleges”. My only question: when will this end?

When will parents stop worrying about WHERE their student goes to college versus WHY they go to college? It’s just as bad to dictate your student’s college choice as it is to assure they get in to the college of your choice.

This is nothing new. Parents have been “paying” for their students to go to brand name colleges for years. They donate huge amounts to colleges to secure a spot for their student. They pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to elite coaching companies to assure admission to an Ivy League university.

The Tiger Mom approach

Years ago, there was quite an uproar among parents regarding a Wall Street Journal piece, “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” by Amy Chua, a professor at Yale University. In an excerpt from Chua’s new book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”, Chua writes about her quest to assure her children attend an Ivy League college:

Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

• attend a sleepover
• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin.

Does that sound a bit harsh? It does to most parents. Although Ms. Chua does have a point when it comes to parenting without excuse, there are varying opinions concerning Ms. Chua’s attitude over the way Western parents do not take a strict approach in pushing their kids toward the “best” colleges.

What are the “best” colleges?

Many parents and educators will tell you they are the Ivies. Others will say they are the ones with the most selective admissions process. Many parents today will insist to paid college counselors that their student can only apply to these schools. It’s not about the fit, but it’s about bragging rights and prestige. Can I brag about my student on Facebook, to other parents and to my colleagues. You don’t believe? Just ask those people who do this for a living–I’ve heard this time and time again.

Are these selective colleges best for your student?

Many parents, college admissions counselors, and educators believe they do. They see these colleges as necessities in providing students with a good job after graduation, opening doors because of the alumni network, and the value of a college name when you venture out into the world.

Why pay for your student to attend a selective college?

You shouldn’t. If you feel the need to seek college counseling help, it should be from someone who has your student’s best interest at heart–not yours! One of my colleagues is so convinced of this, he placed this statement on his website:

“If you prefer personal coaching, I do NOT work with families whose only purpose is to get their child into an Ivy League school, or one that reflects the parent’s need to validate themselves through their children.”Https://www.studentbrandstrategy.com/about

What are the “best” colleges?

In my opinion, the “best” colleges are the ones that will give your student a good education at an affordable price: and one that your student chooses as a good fit for them. There are networking opportunities at every college AND the connections your child makes while in college can be made at any university. As in life, college is what you make of it. If your child takes advantage of the education, the networking opportunities, and works at internships during college, graduation will yield job opportunities. Not every family can afford an Ivy League education. Not every student (in spite of Amy Chua’s beliefs) wants or needs to go there. 

If you have to rely on a college name to get ahead in life then I fear you are missing the entire point of education.

Here are additional articles that might add to the discussion and help us zero in on the real problem in college admissions:

Kids are the Victims of the Elite College Scandal

The Moral Wages of the College Admissions Mania

The Myth of American Meritocracy