How do school administrators describe today’s parent?

Has it become so bad that school administrators (from grade school to college) have to label us (helicopter parent, bulldozer parent, snowplow parent)? Apparently, it has. When it comes right down to it, we should realize that this type of behavior only hurts the student. Of course, the student may not see the harm. After all, their parent is rescuing them from difficult situations in life. But in the long run, it hurts their quest for independence and causes strife within the family.

Let’s take a look at some of these parenting styles and ask yourself how they can hinder your student’s growth toward independence and influence your parenting for college.

The Helicopter Parent

A helicopter parent hovers over their child. They keep tabs on their every move, text them 24 hours a day and have tracking apps on their smartphones to keep track of their child’s location at all times. Helicopter parents are ready to swoop in at a moment’s notice to help their child in any situation. Forgot their lunch—they take off at lunch to bring it to them. Forgot to bring a permission slip—they drop everything and bring it to them. Forgot to register for the SAT—no, problem; we’ll pay the late fee. Receive a text or non-emergency call during a meeting—they drop everything to respond. Overslept for school—they write a note to explain the tardiness.

The Snowplow Parent

The snowplow parent goes beyond the hovering. They clear paths for their children and plow any obstacle that stands in the way of their happiness. Their children never learn how to advocate for themselves and head off to college to get lost in a sea of problems. As they get older, it’s harder for them to resolve conflict and overcome adversity. Honestly, I have to admit I did this with my daughter. The good news—I knew when to stop. The bad news—I did it much too long.

The Bulldozer Parent

A bulldozer parent is one who is involved in their child’s life, especially in school. This type of parent calls the teacher to complain about a grade they feel is undeserved. As their kids get older, they call the admissions office to plead their college-bound teen’s case for admittance. Bulldozer parents bulldoze their way into their kid’s lives. If their kids get into trouble, they are right there waiting to bail them out and make excuses.

Evaluate and adjust

Be honest. Haven’t you been guilty of some of these? As with any problem you have to want to stop. You have to examine your parenting style and decide whether or not you are helping or hindering your kids. And once you determine the problem you should make an effort to correct it. Back off a bit, give your kids some space, and allow them to make mistakes and learn from them.

Always remember that an independent adult will be a functioning adult and a happier adult. You may say now you don’t want them to grow up, but when they are asking for your help at 30 you will be sorry you encouraged their dependence.

It’s no surprise that parents have become so involved in their kids’ lives that school administrators have begun to label us; helicopter parent, snow plow parent, and bulldozer parent. But it can’t all be bad; after all, parents are actually involved. Is this a bad thing? As with anything there are extremes. And it’s possible that a few bad parenting experiences have shed a negative light on all of us.

Let’s take a look at the benefits of helicopter parenting:

Parents who are involved tend to have academically successful students.

Studies show kids who have parents that stay involved from Kindergarten to 12th grade are more likely to excel academically. Why? Involved parents help students with studies, organization and make sure they do their assignments. They also stay on top of grades and can recognize any problems that may require extra help.

Parents who are involved have students who are less likely to participate in at-risk behaviors.

Students whose parents are involved in their lives are going to find it harder to participate in at-risk behaviors. Why? Parents who know their kid’s friends, encourage activities at home, and encourage their kids to participate in after school activities help the kids learn responsibility and commitment. They have little time to get into trouble.

Parents who are invested financially and encourage their students to invest financially have students who take their education seriously.

College is a large financial commitment. When parents commit to invest, and insist that their student invest, the student will be more likely to see the value of that investment. That translates into academic success and a successful college education.

My mother used to say, “Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.” I think that is the best way to look at helicopter parenting. Embrace the good things about this type of parenting and avoid the behaviors that cause educators to label us.