I spend a good deal of time talking about preparing your student for college and offering good college advice. But believe it or not, that’s not my total focus. My focus is helping parents help their child find the best path after high school graduation. 

It’s because of this focus, I was happy to read a post on Grown and Flown today called: Dear Friends and Family, Please Keep Your Snarky Opinions About My Teen’s College Choice to Yourself.

If you’re on Facebook (where most of us moms hang out) you’ve probably come across posts from proud parents announcing their high school senior’s college plans. Hiding in the shadows (and they shouldn’t be) are those parents whose senior chose to take a different path after graduation. 

The posts you don’t see

You don’t find many posts saying, “I’m happy to announce that Johnny has decided to get a job after graduation while still living at home.” Or, “My daughter has made the brave decision to join the military out of high school to serve her country.” Or my favorite one that I’m sure many would never think to post, “My son doesn’t know what he wants to do after high school so he’s taking some time to consider his options.”

It’s sad that we don’t see thost posts very often because those choices are just as clear and goal driven as the students who choose to go to college. Not every student takes a traditional path to a four-year college. My son didn’t. He chose the military; and I heard all sorts of negative comments from parents of his friends who thought we must be crazy encouraging that decision.

You see, what they didn’t know (and I did) was he had been dreaming of this from early childhood. We weren’t a military family. He just always wanted to be a Marine. He joined NJROTC as a freshman in high school and graduated as an officer cadet. It was not surprising when he came home and told us he was considering enlisting. And yes, we supported his decision.

You do you

I want to encourage every parent to listen carefully to their teen when they head into their senior year of high school. If they are dragging their feet about college, there’s a reason. And it’s not because they are unmotivated or not college material as some parents might insinuate. Tell your teen, “You do you”. 

Support whatever choice they make and don’t listen to those “snarky” comments from other parents who say they mean well. They don’t. If they did, they would congratulate you and your senior and encourage them to follow their dreams, even if it means community college, or trade school, or working at a job they love, or even the military. 

Be proud of your senior. They have worked hard and are just as hesitant and unsure of their future as you are. The last thing they need to hear is someone offering their unsolicited opinion regarding their choices. 

What type of negative unsolicited college advice have you received? Would you share them in the comments? (And, if you can, share your response to those comments). It might help some parent who needs to hear it.