As a parent, you most certainly think about your child’s future and so often college prep is a part of that future. You may see them as an engineer, a teacher, or a doctor. You may picture them at your alma mater, or being the first in your family to attend college. Maybe you just hope they find a passion and pursue it. Whatever you hope, you want what is best for your child and to support them in achieving their goals.
College prep is a team effort. While the student leads the team and is ultimately the one who makes the final decision, parents can participate. This is an overwhelming process to handle alone and parents can ease some of the tremendous stress and burden.
1. Provide encouragement
Encourage your student. This is #1 because it is the most important tip of all. Teenagers who are headed to college need to know you believe in them and in their dreams. They need to feel your love and support. They need to know that you will always be there cheering for them, even if at times they don’t believe they can succeed.
2. Be a present parent
Parents tend to become less involved as their children get older. If there was ever a time to be more involved, it’s during the teen years and the college admissions process. Don’t disappear from their lives just because they are in high school. Go to parent conferences. Attend high school events. Get involved in parent booster clubs. Participate in their lives.
3. Encourage career exploration
Start exploring career options and even gauge what some of their interests might be. Encourage your student to shadow professionals, study various careers, explore careers by interning with careers that match their interests. Work with a career counselor to take skills tests and narrow down their choices to a field of study that will work for them.
4. Provide help if asked
Step in during college prep when they ask for help. The college admissions process can be overwhelming. It’s unfair to expect them to handle everything alone. There are times when they will need your help and you will have to step in and parent. If you find they are struggling, help them find tutoring and consider paid test prep tutoring if necessary.
5. Help with the scholarship search
Parents can play an important role in helping students find and apply for scholarships. Start early and search for scholarships that apply to your student. Create a spreadsheet with deadlines and requirements. Ask your employer, friends and search on social media. Keep your eyes and ears open for any local scholarships being offered to local students. Remind your student that applying for scholarships is their job and how they can contribute financially to their education.
6. Accompany them on college visits
Before the college visits start, resolve to be flexible. Your lives will be less stressful and the college application experience will be more exciting. Accompany your student but stay silent. This is their responsibility and they should take charge. Expect the visits to be emotional and expect irrational comments and responses. This is all part of the process and will help your student find the college that best fits their needs.
7. Share your advice when asked
Pay attention to what your college-bound teen wants and needs. In order to do this, you must listen to them talk. It doesn’t have to be a regular sit-down either. Just listen during normal conversation to and from school, while they are getting ready for a date, or during family dinner time. Offer your advice. Advice is different from nagging. Advice helps your teen learn from your experience. Giving advice during college prep comes easily for parents, and it’s something our college-bound teens need to hear.
8. Be open to alternatives to traditional college
Not every student fits the typical four-year college path. Discuss other alternatives: community college, career-focused college and even gap years. Students who are hesitant to consider college will welcome this discussion. The last thing you want is for your student to attend college without a total commitment. That’s not best for the student, even though it may be your dream. Not every student should take the traditional college path.
9. Offer financial guidance
The first thing you need to discuss is finances: what you are willing to pay and what you expect them to contribute toward college expenses, even if it’s just acquiring scholarships. Discuss the ramifications of student debt and talk openly about which colleges would fit into the family’s financial picture. Paint the picture clearly and explain to them this is a large investment and needs to be treated as such: you expect them to do their part and you expect them to study and to graduate.
10. Guide with the final college choice
Even though your child wants you to treat them as an adult, they are still a teenager. Their emotions are all over the place and this next step in their life is frightening. Remember that college is largely an emotional decision and you should expect that emotions will play into that decision. When the dust settles and the emotions clear, they will make a decision based on all the factors, including the campus visits.
After all, you don’t want them to attend a college they just aren’t feeling and you don’t want them to make a decision leaving out the emotional factor. They are going to spend the next four years of their lives at this school. It will become their second home and it’s important that they like where they are. Help them to choose the college that is the best fit: emotionally, academically and financially.