As your student makes the transition from high school to college, he enters a very different world. This is a world of freedom, but also responsibility. For the parents, it’s often the reality of an empty nest and the realization that their student is taking a huge step toward adulthood. This transition period offers its own set of challenges for parents, students and their families.

For parents

For the parents, the most difficult aspect of this change is letting go. For years they have been responsible for their student’s every need: food, clothing, education, training and guidance. The goal of every parent is to move their child toward independence, and college is the next step. In order to have a smooth transition, follow these simple guidelines:

Set some ground rules

Before your son or daughter leaves for college, set some ground rules. Discuss what you expect from them academically and financially. Discuss your expectations of communication. Talk about the college party culture and how it can affect their grades if they don’t find a balance.

Stay connected

Don’t expect your student to call home often. He will be busy and involved in college life. Odds are you will hear from him if a crisis arises or if something exciting happens—such as a new girlfriend. Even though long phone calls are probably out of the question, you can stay connected with texts and using Zoom or Facetime. Agree on a schedule to connect, such as every Sunday evening, and stick to the schedule.

Give your student space

Don’t be one of those parents that stalks their college student—constant texts, unending phone calls, apps that provide 24-7 locations, and even campus video cameras. Give your student some space to be an adult; space to exert his independence and learn some life lessons.

Get involved in parent activities

Colleges are well aware that parent involvement is key to the smooth transition within the family. Almost all colleges have parent organizations and parent weekends in the fall. These activities help parents connect again with their student and gives the student a much-needed visit from his parents, even though the student might not admit he needs it.

Listen carefully and be available

When your student calls home, listen carefully to what he is saying. There might be a tinge of homesickness in his voice or a few words that let you know he is struggling. Listen, but don’t jump to his rescue. Help him figure out what is wrong and what would help resolve the problem. Often, he just needs to vent and hear your voice.

For students

For the student, it’s all about moving out and moving on. For the last few years you have anticipated the day when you could be on your own at college—make your own rules and decisions. It’s certainly a new world, and a world full of infinite possibilities. But it’s also a world that requires wise choices and taking responsibility for your actions. Follow these simple guidelines and your first year at college could be your best:

Expect homesickness to set in

You may think you’re ready to get out of the house and gain some independence. But the time will come that you miss home, miss your parents, and miss your friends. It’s normal to have these feelings, but don’t let those feelings dictate your decision to go to college. Make a phone call home and look forward to parent weekend. It won’t be long before the homesickness subsides.

Get involved on campus

Get involved on campus and make friends. The sooner you make connections, the sooner you will feel at home there. Don’t sit in your room regretting leaving your friends at home, or stay locked up in the dorm when there is so much fun to be had on campus.

Keep in touch with your parents

Your parents need to hear from you; but you need to hear from them too. Send simple text messages or schedule short chats to catch up with each other’s lives. Keeping in touch will help with the homesickness and make the transition to college much easier.

Maintain balance

Every school is a party school. You are there for an education, but you are also there to socialize. Find that balance between academics and socializing early. Make your studies a priority and reward your hard work with some fun. This doesn’t mean you need to party hard every weekend. It’s all about maintaining balance.

Transitioning from high school to college is hard for both parents and students. It’s a new world of independence and discovery for each of you and you should embrace it with excitement and anticipation.