College application season is a stressful time for the students, but a stressful time for parents as well. It’s hard to step back after 18 years of holding their hands and let go of the reigns while they complete the application.

If you don’t let go, however, you could be hurting your student more than helping them. College admissions officers look for students who rule the process and can spot those applications where parents take control. Know this, here are 10 things parents should not do on their kid’s college application.

1. Don’t make this your application.

You won’t be attending college. You can guide, encourage, and even sit by them when they complete the application, but don’t, under any circumstances do it for them. They will be signing their name on this application and it should be their work, and not yours. This may seem like a no-brainer but you would be surprised how many parents feel their students can’t do it alone and do it for them.

2. Don’t write the essay.

You may feel your high school student can’t possibly communicate well enough to impress a college admissions officer. But if they can’t write an essay are they really ready for college academia? Admissions officers are looking for a student’s voice and personality in the essay. The last thing they want to see is a parent’s attempt to impress them.

3. Don’t rewrite the essay.

Students, if asked, would tell horror stories of their parents proofing and rewording their application essay. The essay may not be what you want to say, but it’s an opportunity for your student to share a part of them that will set them apart in the mind of the admissions officer reading that essay.

4. Don’t pay someone to write the essay.

Not much else can be said about this. Does it happen? Yes it does. Parents will do just about anything to assure their kids get accepted to a top tier college. Don’t be that parent.

5. Don’t choose the colleges for them.

You may want them to attend your alma mater, or reach for an Ivy League college. They, on the other hand, may want to attend a state school. You may want them to attend a college close to home. They may want to spread their wings and attend a college across the country. You can guide them, give your opinion, and even help them decide. But don’t make the decision for them.

6. Don’t harass, nag, push, shove or force them to do any part of the application.

Say what you need to say once and let it go. You can remind them of deadlines and help them with organization. But don’t become a boom box parent harassing them at every turn they should be working on their college application. If they ask for help, give it. If they seek your advice, give it. If they aren’t motivated to complete the application, it might be a clue that they are either overwhelmed or don’t want to attend college at all. If that’s the case, you need to have an open conversation with them. Don’t judge; just listen.

7. Don’t wait to discuss the money.

Your kid needs to know what you are willing to contribute toward their education and what the family can afford before they apply to colleges. The last thing you need is for them to be accepted at a pricey university and are unable to pay for the tuition. Be honest and discuss your desire that they not graduate from college with insurmountable debt. Hope for the best (scholarships, merit aid, grants); and prepare for the worst (paying for the entire tuition bill).

8. Don’t check their admission status.

Back off and let them enjoy their successes. Resist the urge to keep their passwords on your desk and check their status every morning. Your student is perfectly capable of doing this for themselves. You will hear the good (and possibly bad) news once they check their statuses. That’s when you assume the role of proud (but sometimes consoling) parent.

9. Don’t compare them to other parent’s kids.

The application process is not about keeping up with the Joneses. Every kid is unique and should be pursuing their own path. Comparing them with other students gives them the wrong message. The last thing your kid needs is to feel they will disappoint you. This is not about you and your bragging rights with other parents. It’s about what is best for your kid.

10. Don’t neglect the FAFSA.

Your student will be completing this after they submit their college applications. It’s not a part of the application but it should be a mandatory component of the application process. Without the FAFSA your student can’t qualify for financial aid, student loans, and even merit aid and scholarships. Since it’s a financial document, you will have to provide them with information from your income tax forms and other financial statements.

If you take away one thing from this article, it should be that it’s not about you. It’s not about your bragging rights. It’s not about what you want. Let go of the process and let them take control. The reward upon acceptance will be greater if your kid knows they did it on their own. Your kid will appreciate it (and so will college admissions officers).