What do you do when Plan A doesn’t work out and your student is forced to take a look at Plan B? Here’s what happened in our family.

Ryan had his heart set on one school. For years, he talked about attending the United States Naval Academy. His walls were covered in Navy posters, he subscribed to their YouTube channel, and he even attended a summer seminar program there between his junior and senior year. He admired the discipline, the challenge, and the honor of service. When it came time to apply, he poured everything into the process: excellent grades, participation in NJROTC competitions, letters of recommendation, and hours spent polishing his personal statement.

As his parents, we watched with a mix of awe and anxiety as he submitted his application. We knew how much this dream meant to him, and we also knew how selective the Academy could be. When the decision came in March, Ryan opened the email with us standing close by. The answer was a firm “no.” Not even a waitlist. Just a thank-you for applying.

It felt like the air had left the room. Ryan barely spoke for the rest of the evening. He had built his identity around this goal, and now it was gone. We sat with him in the quiet, offering support without pushing silver linings. We reminded him that this one decision didn’t change all he had accomplished—or all he was still capable of becoming.

In the days that followed, Ryan did some soul-searching. He looked again at the schools he’d applied to, but none of them sparked the same passion. It wasn’t just about getting a degree. He still wanted to serve. He still wanted to lead. And then, with some encouragement from his company commander, Ryan began to consider a different path entirely—enlisting directly into the military. And not just any branch of service–the Marines.

The idea grew slowly but steadily. Ryan talked to a local Marine Corps recruiter and learned more about the training, the roles, the camaraderie. It wasn’t a detour from his goal of service—it was a new way in. He started to feel excited again. Motivated. Grounded.

When Ryan told us he wanted to become a Marine, we were surprised—and had some questions. But we saw the resolve in his eyes. We sat in on meetings with the recruiter, asked hard questions, and helped him weigh the decision carefully. It wasn’t the path we had envisioned, but it was the one he was choosing with clarity and conviction.

By the end of the school year, Ryan had officially enlisted. He started preparing for boot camp, working out every day, focusing on discipline and mindset. The Naval Academy rejection still lingered in the background, but it no longer defined him.

As a parent, it’s hard to watch your child’s dream shift so dramatically. But sometimes, the moment they choose a different path is the moment they begin to truly find themselves. Ryan didn’t give up. He chose Plan B. He adapted. And in doing so, he discovered a deeper purpose and a new sense of direction.

After completing four years of service in the Marines and spending a few more years working as a civilian, he made the decision to pursue college. I think there was always a part of him drawn to academia, and once he had served his country, he finally followed that calling.