If after reading all the stipulations for Early Decision (ED) applicants, your student may want to consider Early Action (EA). Schools generally only offer Early Decision or Early Action—not both.
The most common EA deadline is November 1; however, some colleges have EA deadlines in October. Decisions on EA applications are usually posted in mid-December. Students can apply to multiple colleges/universities that offer Early Action. EA deadlines are non-binding, meaning that if you are admitted to an institution Early Action, you are not obligated to enroll.
Early Action (EA)
Colleges that offer this option promise a quick response if you submit a completed application by their early deadline. Students admitted EA don’t have to promise to attend the college; they just want to hear back sooner than usual. Students can apply as EA candidates to several colleges at the same time, as long as they are submitting a quality application that didn’t get thrown together at the last minute.
Restricted Early Action (REA)
Sometimes known as Early Action Single Choice, REA works much like Early Action, but the student is limited in the number of other colleges where they can submit early applications — and that number is often zero. Colleges do this for a number of reasons, but they most often want the student to show a special commitment to their college without having to promise to go there. This can reduce the number of students who apply early who aren’t really thinking about why the college is right for them , and still reward the students who feel a special bond to the school.
Priority Deadline
Priority is often misinterpreted as just another name for Early Action. While Priority deadlines can be similar in timing to other early deadlines, they are not the same. Institutions that utilize Priority give the most consideration to applications received by this deadline. It is in a student’s best interest to apply by a Priority deadline when offered.
Why apply EA?
If your student is ready and has their college choice or choices locked in, applying Early Action would be a good choice if you need financial aid. Since none of these acceptances are binding, your student will have time to compare financial aid offers before the May 1 decision deadline.
Be sure to double check with the college and verify the early application deadline. In addition, make sure your student submits a strong application and not just one thrown together to make the deadline.
This week, I’m going to discuss the different ways students can apply to college. Each has its benefits and its negative aspects. If your student is trying to decide when to apply, these articles should help.
Early Decision has become more and more popular among students applying to college. A vast majority of students are opting to apply Early Decision to their first-choice colleges in order to get an answer before Jan. 1, rather than waiting for the regular college application cycle in the spring. Not every college offers that option, you can see the complete list here: Early Decision Schools: Complete List of ED Colleges.
Early Decision (ED) is themost restrictive of the early deadlines, Early Decision is a binding agreement between the student and the institution, meaning that a student must enroll if offered admission. The key point to remember is that a student may apply to only one college ED. If you are admitted ED, throw confetti in the air and buy your college sweatshirt! Your college process is done. Some colleges also offer Early Decision II, which typically has a January deadline. If you were denied or deferred from one college in the first round of ED, you can apply to another college via EDII.
What are the deadlines for Early Decision?
Early Decision application deadlines are usually prior to Nov. 1. The deadlines for Early Decision II and regular decision are usually Jan. 1. Decisions for Early Decision applications usually arrive the middle of December. EDII decisions are usually received by the middle of February. Regular decisions usually arrive mid-March.
Why would students choose Early Decision?
Students who have made the decision to pursue one dream college should consider applying Early Decision. If they do, they will know before winter break if they have been offered admission. It’s a huge stress reliever that allows the student to enjoy the remaining months of senior year knowing a college decision is locked in.
And, if you apply Early Decision, your college application will be at the top of the stack and will precede regular decision applicants, giving you an early advantage.
Early Decision students have a significant admission advantage at many colleges. You can check out how much by visiting the college’s page at the College Data website. For instance, overall, 23 percent of Bates College applicants were admitted. But, when you look at the Early Decision applications, 50 percent of those applicants were admitted.
What are the risks to applying Early Decision?
The downside to applying Early Decision is financial. Parents and students will not have the option to compare financial aid packages from multiple colleges. Early Decision applicants could miss out on scholarship and merit aid opportunities at other colleges. Applying Early Decision doesn’t assure a generous financial aid package – and the decision is binding.
If you can’t afford to pay the tuition at the college of choice, it might be better to opt for an Early Action or regular decision application. Neither of these are binding and you can compare financial aid packages before accepting an offer of admission.
What happens when an Early Decision student is deferred?
Being deferred means a school is still interested in a student and will review the application again with the regular decision applicants. The odds of being admitted from a deferral are slim, however. It might be time for your student to move on to other college choices and start those applications.
What is Early Decision II?
A few colleges also offer ED II. Students who apply using this option can apply in early January and receive a binding offer of admission by February. The application deadline for this option is the same as for regular decision applicants, but these students receive word on admittance sooner and must commit upon acceptance.
Does Early Decision mean an easier senior year?
Being accepted early does not mean a student can skate through senior year. Students who apply Early Decision will still be held to the standard of academics under which they were accepted. Since most Early Decision applications submit junior year grades, colleges will require a final senior year transcript. If the grades don’t measure up to the year’s previous grades and/or fall short of the college’s academic requirements, a college can rescind its offer of admission.
Whether your student is a freshman or entering the last semester of their junior year, you should be looking ahead towards graduation. The first, and obvious question, should be—what’s next? What will your student do after high school? Will they enter the job market, take a gap year off to decide, enter the military, or will college be their next step?
If college is in their future, the college list should be a priority. All decisions, goals and pursuits will be geared toward receiving an offer of admission from those colleges on that list. Those colleges should be chosen with much thought and planning. Your student’s goal is to first be offered admission, and secondly be awarded aid that will pay for the education.
In order to craft a great college list, you and your student must keep an open mind. With over 4000 institutions of higher learning in this country alone, the obvious choices are not necessarily the best ones. Before you haphazardly throw some names onto the list, follow these simple steps:
Step 1: Look at the statistics and rise to the top
The best college is the college that fits your student’s academic and social needs, and at the same time is affordable. The last thing you want is for your student to graduate with debt; and the best way to guarantee the most merit aid is to apply to a college where your student is at the top of the applicant pool. If your student’s grades, scores, and extracurriculars exceed those of the average applicant, a college will be more likely to entice him with merit aid (scholarships and grants).
How do you know where your student falls in the applicant pool? Use sites like College Navigator and College Data to compare your student with current students. Look at the figures for admitted students: what is the average test score, what is the average GPA, how much weight do they place on extracurriculars? If your student’s statistics are above these average amounts, the college will consider them a highly desirable applicant.
Step 2: Consider the unknowns
Most students gravitate toward the known colleges—those with national or state recognition. But there are so many excellent colleges within each state that go unnoticed. These are often smaller private colleges offering excellent liberal arts educations. These colleges have alumni that support them and often provide continued support—translating into scholarships and grants to new students. The larger state university may appear cheaper based on tuition, but the smaller private college will often award more merit aid to entice students.
I recommend parents encourage their students to look into the College That Change Lives . These colleges are built on the premise of “building the knowledge, character and values of young people by introducing them to a personalized and transformative collegiate experience.” Also consider technical colleges like Penn College that combine a liberal arts education with hands-on career training.
You might be surprised to know that in addition to all the factors students use to choose a college, there is one they might overlook: statistics. While location, major, campus appeal, and others are certainly important statistics will help you and your student make a more informed college choice.
Why statistics? Statistics will help you determine some of the key factors involved in choosing a college. With statistics you increase the odds of your student being accepted, receiving more financial aid, and graduating on time. You can also determine the class sizes, the freshman retention rate and the odds of finding a job after graduation.
Two good sources for college statistics are College Navigator and College Data. These two resources will help you make an informed college choice. Numbers aren’t everything, but consider these eight important stats when you and your student are looking at schools:
Percentage of student who are employed after graduation
Step 4: Let the money do the talking
There’s no point in adding a college to the list if it’s unaffordable. Your student will be disappointed if offered admission and the cost makes it impossible for them to attend. Before applying, research the financial aid footprint of every single college on the list. How much aid do they typically give? How much debt does the average student graduate with? Use their net price calculator and determine what it will cost to attend there before applying. If your student is offered admission, there will be no surprises and disappointment if you do your due diligence before the application process begins.
Colleges offering small percentages of financial aid in the form of scholarships and grants should only be considered if you can pay or your student makes applying to scholarships a priority. You can’t count on scholarships or grants, but your student can certainly do everything to position themselves at the top of the applicant pool to receive them.
Step 5: Do a side-by-side comparison
How do you compare colleges once you have a solid list? Your student should develop their own rankings based on their personal choices and priorities. These items might include the obvious items like academics and location, to such unconventional items like Greek life and campus appearance. List all the items on a chart, giving each item a plus (+) or a minus (-) and tally up the scores. The colleges with the highest scores should make the final list. Colleges with lower scores might not make the list or need further evaluation.
By following these five steps, your student can create a strong college list of colleges that fit them academically, socially and financially. You might discover some hidden gems while navigating the search, just as my daughter did (and fell in love!).
There are over 4000 four-year colleges in the United States and another 1900 community colleges. Choosing a college can be overwhelming if you don’t narrow down the choices with this simple list of basic criteria. Once you’ve narrowed down the college list, you can get more selective and specific with your final choices.
Here is a list of 10 choice criteria to consider:
Your study preferences—Are they more comfortable in a structured class or do you excel doing independent study? Do you require academic challenge or prefer in-class time with little or no additional study?
Money—Your budget plays a huge factor in the decision process. If your budget is tight, will you consider student loans? And if so, will an expensive private university be worth the debt?
Size—Do you want small class size or does it matter? Does being part of a large student body appeal to you or would they prefer a small college atmosphere?
Location—Do you want to go away to college or stay close by so you can live at home? Are you looking for a cultural experience that a big city offers or a down home experience provided by a small town college?
Extracurriculars—Are you set on joining a sorority or a fraternity? Are these offered at the colleges you are considering? Are there other activities that you feel are crucial to having a positive college experience (i.e. working on a campus newspaper, participating in intramural sports, studying abroad)?
Academics—Is there a specific major you are interested in or will a liberal arts degree do? Not every university offers the same academic disciplines.
Career focus—Do you want to study the culinary arts or fashion design? Consider a school that offers these types of specialized degrees.
Sports—Does the school have a huge sports program or do sports play little impact in your decision?
Competitive vs Non-competitive—Do you have the resume that will ensure acceptance in a competitive college like Stanford or Penn State? Or do you have a strong academic showing that would send you to the top of the list at a non-competitive college and qualify you for a full scholarship?
Specialized programs—Do you want to work in the stock market? Does the school offer a trading room? What about internships, undergraduate research, service learning, and even specialized senior capstone projects (integrating and synthesizing what you have learned).
Juniors should be focusing on college visits and start working on their list. Seniors should review this list and prepare to start their college applications.
A recent educational survey conducted by T. Rowe Price has revealed that almost 45% of parents who are saving for college are using a normal savings account. Only 31% of parents are using a 529 plan for the college-savings purpose.
The prime reason so fewer people are saving through the 529 plan is people are not aware of the 529 plan. The T. Rowe Price survey has revealed that nearly one-third (28%) of the parents are not aware of what the 529 plan is all about.
So, if you are one of the 28% people who are still not aware of the benefits you’ll get from the 529 plan then please read the article once.
The 4 Key points of the 529 plan that you should read first
The 529 plan helps you to save for the education-related expenses of any student in your family. The education-related expenses include college or post-secondary education, tuition fees for elementary, secondary, and religious schools.
The person who opens the 529 account plan is called the ‘Account Holder’ or the saver.
The person for whom the 529 account plan is opened is called the ‘Beneficiary’ or the student.
The ‘Account Holder’ or the ‘Beneficiary’ doesn’t need to be two separate persons, there will be nothing illegal if both are the same person.
10 Benefits of a 529 Plan
Now, maybe you are one of those parents who have heard about the 529 plan but do not have any information about it. Below are 10 benefits of a 529 Plan.
1. You will get the benefit of tax while saving money in the 529 account
In many of the US states, you will get a tax deduction or credit for contribution if you save your money in the 529 accounts. Your money will grow on a tax-advantaged basis in the 529 accounts and if you spend the money saved in the 529 accounts, for qualified education expenses then you can withdraw the money in a tax-free way.
2. The 529 plan helps you to reduce the student loan borrowing
It is a concern that the expenses of higher education are increasing every year. You have nowhere to go but to take out the student loan with a high-interest rate. The 529 plan can provide you with adequate support to lessen your dependence on the student loan.
According to student loan experts, there is nothing better option than a 529 plan to reduce your student loan.
“Every dollar you save is about a dollar less you’ll have to borrow…. Saving money for college lets you avoid paying interest on the money you’d otherwise have to borrow.” Mark Kantrowitz, college finance advisor
3. The grandparents can benefit by contributing to the 529 plan of the grandchild
The grandparents can benefit from the significant tax break by contributing to the 529 plan of the grandchild.
If a grandparent owns the 529 plan for the grandchild, it will reduce the potential tax liability of the grandparents.
The grandparents can also get benefit from the state income tax deduction as per their state rule if they contribute to the 529 plan.
4. The 529 plan is good for them who have started contributing in the account a little late
If you open the 529 plan for your child and grandchild when he/she is in middle or high school, it will not be too late.
Even the college savers can also get the benefit by opening the 529 plan a little bit late. According to the Washington Post, around 46% of Americans live in a state which offers state-specific-income-tax benefit for contributing to the 529 plan. The plan can reduce your tax burden.
There are rules in the 529 plan that if you have started late in contributing to the 529 plan and want the asset to grow then you can withdraw the money from the account a little bit late.
5. Your home state-sponsored 529 plan can provide you some additional tax advantages
Almost all the states, in the USA,sponsors the 529 plan for accredited schools in any state. Many US states offer state income tax deduction for residents who are contributing to their home state’s 529 plan.
This is the benefit of contributing to the 529 plan of your home state, it will give you additional tax benefits.
6. The child won’t lose the other financial aids if you contribute to the 529 plan
Many parents fear that opening a 529 plan can force their child to get less federal financial aid. But this is a wrong conception. The 529 savings plan is considered a parental asset. The child will never get less federal financial aid if the parents contribute to the 529 plan.
7. With the 529 plan, both the amount and date of contribution will be in your hand
The advantage of using the 529 plan is you can contribute in the account whatever amount you will be able to contribute and the annual payment date too will be as you choose to pay.
The minimum initial contribution requirement for most of the 529 plans is $25 and the upper limit of contribution is up to you. Like the contribution amount has no limit, the payment date also is not bound by anything.
Many people prefer to pay a monthly contribution to the 529 plan and others love to pay an annual contribution.
So, you can contribute any amount as you wish and whatever time you may like for contributing the amount.
8. You can have your own choice while selecting a 529 plan
There is a good number of 529 savings plan options available to choose from. If your state is offering a prepaid tuition plan or if you have selected the private college independent 529 plan then you can choose from a wide array of 529 plans.
The selection will give you an advantage if your child prefers to go to a particular type of school.
9. Money withdrawals from the 529 account are both penalty-added and penalty-free
If the student earns a scholarship then the same amount can be withdrawn from the 529 plan without paying any penalty and in tax-free manner.
For any urgent and nonqualified purpose if you need to withdraw money from the 529 accounts then you have to pay the federal income tax and 10% penalty.
However, for any urgent money requirement, you have other ways to obtain the required amount than making non-qualified withdrawals from the 529 plan or by going to the payday lenders.
None of the options will be considered a good decision taken by you. You’ll be penalized for the non-qualified withdrawals from the 529 account or have to make a payday loan debt settlement for repaying the urgent payday loan.
So, use other options if you need money for some urgent purposes.
10. The 529 plan will provide special benefits for students that a traditional savings account cannot give you
To bear the educational expenses, the 529 plan is best in the USA. The problem is parents are not aware of the 529 plan and they cannot differentiate between the 529 plan and the regular savings account, traditional and Roth IRA.
You won’t get any tax benefit for saving your money in the regular savings account, traditional and Roth IRA for educational purposes. You will get the tax benefit only by contributing to the 529 plan.
So, when you aim to save for education, you should depend only on the 529 plan.
All the experts have advice on how many schools to apply to: some say 7, some say 10 and others say the more you apply to the better your chances. For me, the number isn’t as important as the content. A good college list needs to be well thought out and researched.
A good college list should have three “fit” criteria: financial fit, academic fit, and emotional fit. Once your student has a tentative list, ask if they have all three criteria before finalizing the list.
Financial Fit
Does the college fit into your family’s budget? If it doesn’t fit financially, cross it off the list. While you should never consider a college solely based on the sticker price, you should certainly examine what will happen if your student is accepted and doesn’t receive any financial aid. Remember when factoring in cost, don’t forget about the add-ons. They can add up and have a substantial effect on your budget.
Academic Fit
Does the college fit into your student’s academic aspirations? This might seem like a no-brainer, but the education is a key factor in attending college. Cross the college off the list if it doesn’t fit into your student’s academic learning style. For instance, is your student looking for smaller class sizes and strong relationships with his professors? A larger university won’t offer this.
Emotional fit
Can your student see himself attending college there? When he visited the campus, did it “feel” right and did he have a rapport with the students he came in contact with? You might think college shouldn’t be an emotional decision, but it is. After all, they will be spending at least four years of their lives there. If they don’t fit into the social climate they will be miserable.
Where does your student fit?
Another thing to consider is positioning. Is your student positioned well with the other applicants, especially if you are looking for merit aid. Are their scores, grades, and achievements good enough to put them at the top of the applicant pool?
As you can easily see, there’s more to refining a college list than picking a college with Greek life or college sports rankings. It’s a place your student will call home and he needs to feel comfortable there. Once you’ve determined if the college has all three criteria, add it to the list. It’s a keeper!
So much time is spent preparing for the actual college choice and application that very little time and effort goes into prepping for these valuable life skills. They may be prepared for the academic rigors of college, but neglecting to prepare for all the other aspects of college life might affect your success and ultimate degree completion. It’s your role as a parent to make sure they have these skills before they leave for college.
We must, as parents, raise an independent student. That means they must know how to self-advocate. They must know how to say “no” to behaviors that have negative consequences. They must be responsible with their time and their money. It’s no easy task and in today’s world, we have to add the ability to make wise social and economic choices.
Financial skills
When your student heads off to college there will be many financial decisions they need to make, beginning with how much student loan debt they are willing to incur. Use loan repayment calculators to determine the amount of re-payments after graduation and use these figures to make wise decisions about loans. They will also need to know how to budget their money in regards to other college costs such as books, living expenses and entertainment. Add to that the knowledge of credit card rates and how easily it is to fall into debt using them for simple things such as pizza. Many students graduate from college with over $10,000 in credit card debt.
Social skills
If your student is headed off to college to hook up with the party scene, they are in for a rude awakening when their first semester grades are released. Many students forget that partying affects their study time and class attendance. If they are exhausted from partying the night before, they are less likely to get up for that early class. Recognize that while making friends and enjoying the social scene are necessary for their overall satisfaction of the college experience, they should not forget the reason they came to college: to get an education. Discuss with them how to balance their social life with their academic life before they leave in the fall.
Academic skills
College is not like high school. Professors expect that your student do their assignments and they don’t check up on you if you don’t. Coming to college with refined study and organization skills will help your student adjust to the rigorous course requirements of a college degree program. Managing their time is also important as it relates to class assignments, studying for tests and preparing term papers.
Mental skills
College life produces a whole new set of mental and emotional problems. Many students face homesickness early and should recognize that those feelings are normal. They should go to college with the skills needed to cope with stress and the feeling of loneliness that often occurs. Recognize that all these factors contribute to their overall mental health and know beforehand where they can find help if they need it.
Problem solving skills
College is no different than life—obstacles occur on a daily basis and you will need the skills to deal with those obstacles. Your student will be confronted with conflict and should know how to resolve that conflict, either by themselves or with a mediator (such as an RA or student advisor). They will face situations that require them to advocate and they should be comfortable doing this before they head off to college and become completely independent.
The question we should all be asking our students is:
Are you prepared for college?
I’m not talking about academic, extracurriculars, or standardized tests. I’m talking about the “real” college prep: adulthood. Because this is the most important college prep of all. If your student isn’t ready to study without being constantly nagged, attend class without a wake-up call, or make wise choices when every negative influence in the world bombards them, then he or she is not ready for college.
Do you have a to-do list for your future college student? Can they live within a budget? Do they understand the importance of study and class attendance? Do they know how to choose the right friends? Will they make wise choices about alcohol, sex and other risky behaviors. Preparing them for college is so much more than academics.
Get this book: Toward College Success: Is Your Teenager Ready, Willing and Able? Read it and apply its tactics. When your student goes off to college they will be prepared for the real world which can sometimes be cruel; but a learning environment preparing them for adulthood.
Most parents want their student to win scholarships. Even if you can afford to pay for college, free money is always welcome. But talk with parents and parent groups and you can hear the frustration:
My student isn’t motivated to search for scholarships.
My student has applied for so many scholarships and hasn’t won a dime.
Where do we search? Should we sign up on all the scholarship search engines?
But the number one questions parents ask is:
How can I help my student search and apply for scholarships?
Your student will need an organized system to help with the scholarship search and application process. You can help! Encourage your student to set up Google docs for scholarships with the name of the scholarship, requirements, due dates, and information needed for each.
As you find scholarships, you can add to the list that will be easily accessible to you and your student. This will also help you stay on top of deadlines so you can quickly text a reminder to your student.
Help with searching
You can help your student search for scholarships. While you are waiting in just about any line, you can use your smartphone to search. You can use Google or there are apps available to help you search.
Watch the news, look at community bulletin boards, talk to family and friends and search local organizations for scholarship opportunities. You can keep a notebook with you, or just open the Google doc and add the scholarships you find.
Help with proofreading
You can’t write their essays or fill out their applications, but you can proofread and double check the requirements before your student applies.
Help with reminders
Email or text your student when deadlines are approaching to remind them to submit the application on time. With so many things to do, it’s hard for students to stay on top of deadlines.
In high school, my son participated in the Navy Junior Reserve Officers Training Corps program and had high hopes of attending a military academy after graduation. However, due to less-than-stellar SAT scores and our family’s general lack of understanding about how the application process worked, he was denied admission to all of them. It was difficult dealing with disappointment.
If you’re the parent of a high school senior whose sights are set on a dream college, you don’t want to anticipate dealing with disappointment. But you also know that, given the competitive and subjective nature of college admissions, rejection is possible…even likely.
I have a colleague who won’t call it “rejection” — he has dubbed the two decisions students receive an “offer of admission” and “no offer of admission.” Language like this might ease the blow somewhat, but your teen will not be comforted. The disappointment will be enormous, and real.
How do you handle your own feelings?
First of all, be ready. Those disappointments are on their way and even if you vow not to take a rejection personally (after all, you’re not the one applying to college) it’s nearly impossible not to. This is your child; you are bound up in his sorrows and joys. And his application was stellar! “How can they reject my student?” you will wonder in outrage, speculating about who may have gotten in instead and taken “his” spot. Suddenly you realize that you, too, had pinned hopes on a future that included Parents’ Weekend on a certain idyllic campus.
When we acknowledge our own disappointment, we can make sure it stays where it belongs — in our own hearts. The last thing we want is to magnify our student’s pain. He feels badly enough already without feeling that he has disappointed his parents.
How do you support your student’s feelings?
Every student reacts differently. Some will shrug off the rejection letters, understanding that it is just part of the process, but others will view a rejection (or two or three) as the end of the world. At the moment that your student is absorbing this news, all the truisms in the world (“Everything happens for a reason,” “It’ll work out,” “You don’t want to go there if they don’t want you,” etc.) won’t help. Hold him, hug him, and let him know that you share his pain. He needs time to express his emotions and deal with the disappointment in his own way.
What do you do after you’ve both had time to grieve?
Once some time has passed and your student is able to be objective, embrace the life lessons. Point out that disappointments often turn into opportunities (it shouldn’t be too hard to dig up some examples from your own life!). Assure him that success in college is more about his attitude than the name on the T-shirt, and even though College “A” didn’t work out, there is a place for him — a terrific school where he is wanted and where he will thrive. On that note, move on to the colleges that mailed the fat envelopes. If there is more than one, he now has the fun task of making a choice. He’s back in the driver’s seat.
When my son was turned down by the military academies, he turned to Plan B and enlisted in the U.S. Marines. After four years of service and the passage of time, he saw himself in a new light. He applied to college, was accepted, and graduated with honors. Back when he was a high school senior, the rejections seemed momentous. Later, he recognized that they had been merely a bump in the road and an opportunity to re-evaluate his goals.
It’s hard. I know. I’ve been there. You want your student to have the BEST education available. You want them to want it as much as you do. You see them making some choices that you know they will regret. As hard as you try, you find yourself pressuring them to make the right choice and the battle lines are drawn. They dig their heels in. You dig your heels in. And the tug of war begins.
What’s a parent to do when you feel your college-bound teens are making the wrong choices related to college? Take a deep breath and read these examples (along with my suggestions). Parenting for college can and probably will be a struggle.
Your college-bound teen tells you he doesn’t want to go to the college that is hard to get into and is opting for what you consider to be sub par.
Don’t panic or overreact. It’s possible he is scared. Try and ascertain the reasoning behind the decision. Don’t do this by badgering him or constantly asking him why. The best way to figure out what is wrong is to LISTEN. Listen to him talk about his day, about college, about how he feels. If fear is not the reason, perhaps he feels the other college would be a better fit. If that’s the case, do yourself a favor and back off. The worst thing you can do with a teenager is force him into a decision he feels is wrong. Sometimes the best lessons we learn are the ones that come from making our own decisions (right or wrong).
Your college-bound teen tells you that he simply MUST go to Private College A, even though she knows it comes with a high price tag.
Don’t let her bully you into sending her to a college you can’t afford AND one that will require a tremendous amount of student loan debt. Sit her down and explain to her the dangers of graduating in debt. Use the college repayment calculators if you have to. If she truly wants to go to Private College A, she needs to do the work (good grades, good SAT/ACT scores, great essay) to be awarded scholarship/grant money from that college.
It’s also worth considering that a private college may be similar in cost to a public university. Since many private colleges have generous alumni that donate, they often award large merit scholarships. Public universities are not as generous with aid.
Your college-bound teen is not interested in college, deadlines, studying for the SAT or any other path that leads him toward higher education.
If there is one thing I learned with both of my kids (and clients), if they aren’t invested in the college process they won’t be invested in college. Save yourself some time, money and heartache and wait until they are. If not, they can learn from the college of hard knocks–minimum wage jobs are the BEST motivator!
It’s also important to note that not every student is meant for college. There are, indeed, other options. Many have taken those different paths and been perfectly successful and happy. It could be time to consider alternatives to college.
Your college-bound teen misses deadlines, panics and comes running to you at the last minute to fix it.
The simplest way I know to avoid missing deadlines, is to get yourself a huge wall calendar and a fat red marker. Put it in a place that they have to pass by every single day. In addition, with all the smartphones and calendar apps available today, missing a deadline should be a thing of the past. At some point (hopefully when they go to college), they will have to fix their own problems. Let them do it now, while they live at home, and it will be easier for them once they are gone. Rescuing your kids all time only makes them into dependent adults and colleges aren’t impressed with those type of students or the parents that come with them.
Your college-bound teen suddenly announces she is not ready for college and wants to take a year off.
First of all, wait. Don’t react. Just listen. Odds are the mood will change with the wind and once all her friends are making college plans, that desire that she once had will kick back in. If not, let her know that it won’t be a “free-ride” year.
With the pandemic, gap years are becoming prevalent. Your student can use the time to investigate career options, work at an internship, volunteer in the community, or simply work and save money toward college.
If you have any questions or personal experiences you would like to share, please leave a comment here and share it with other parents. We learn from each other and from our mistakes and successes!
