All posts by Suzanne Shaffer

Narrowing College Searches

What college do you want to go to?— one of the most stressful conversation topics you and your child will ever have. While you want your child to stay close to home, they want to get as far away as possible. While you want your child to attend a 4-year public college because it’s cheaper, your child wants to enroll in a costly private university.

Much like choosing a wife or husband, your child’s school-of-choice will ultimately have long term effects. And, like when selecting a spouse, your child not only wants for it to be a perfect match, but secretly seeks for your approval. In the end your child will pick a school that he or she feels is best suited for them, but you can play an important role in the decision process –helping your child pick a school that’ll make the both of you content.  There are more than 7,000 higher education institutions in the U.S. and filtering through all the choices can be hectic. Here are some questions to discuss with your child to narrow down the options in the hopes of finding the perfect college for your child.

  1. While your child doesn’t initially need to know exactly what they want to major in, looking into their interest is a good start. Does your child enjoy art? Writing? Technology? Are they more focused on developing technical skills?
  2. What schools are tailored to meet your child’s needs and interests?
  3. What specific programs and sequences are offered at the school?
  4. Does your child want to attend a college that is close to home or out-of-state?
  5. What type of school would your child prefer? A small intimate college or a large university? Do they prefer a public or private school?
  6. Do they prefer to attend a school with a particular religious affiliation?
  7. Is the institution accredited and by which agency?
  8. What is the student/teacher ratio?
  9. Is it coed or single sex school?
  10. Is your child interested in online courses? Does the school offer them?
  11. Does your child want to participate in a specific extracurricular activity or sport? Which ones? And does the school offer these options?
  12. What kind of living arrangements would your child prefer? Does the school offer on campus and off campus housing? Would your child rather walk to class or drive?
  13. What’s the cost of tuition? This includes room and board, textbooks and miscellaneous expenses.
  14. Does the school offer financial aid or scholarships to help cover these costs?
  15. What else is important to you and your child? Does the school meet these additional concerns?

While most school Web sites, brochures and admission officers will answer most of your questions regarding the institution, College Navigator is also another good source to scour different colleges around the country.

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This guest post is contributed by Olivia Coleman, who writes on the topics related to online colleges and universities.  She welcomes your comments at her email Id: olivia.coleman33@gmail.com.

To Greek or not to Greek

 

Recently, Smart College Visit posted an article from The Real College Guide about going Greek from a student’s perspective, listing the Pros and Cons of Greek life.  After reading it, I thought it might be interesting to look at Greek life from a parent’s perspective. Since I have personal experience in this area of college life, I wanted to share my thoughts and advice to help other parents who might be headed down that road in the future.

When my daughter began her college search process, Greek life was at the top of her MUST HAVE list. Her grandmother was a Zeta and she had always wanted to follow in her footsteps so to speak. I had my concerns (most of them related to the social aspect of Greek life), but I supported her dream and her college choice based on this criteria.

Just a month into her freshman year, rush began. Many of her new friends were interested in pledging sororities and they all attended recruitment events. When the bids arrived, my daughter was invited to pledge two sororities and picked the one that she felt fit her personality best–she felt comfortable and at ease with the members. When the months of pledging and “hell week” were over, my daughter became a member of Alpha Phi–Zeta Rho Chapter at Bentley College.

Here is my PARENT list of the pros and cons of Greek life:

Cons

  • Her grades suffered-The two months that my daughter was pledging had a devastating affect on her GPA. While the sorority claimed they required their members to study, those study sessions were late at night and unproductive. Freshman year sets the tone for your entire college career and she had to work hard to get her GPA back up after that first semester.
  • Hazing-Whether they fess up to it or not, it happens. All colleges post rules and regulations against it, but it happens. I had many arguments with my daughter about reporting the infractions, but she assured me the hazing wasn’t that bad. I never liked it and could not see the need for that type of initiation.
  • Drinking-Greek life does mean parties. And those Greek parties ALWAYS have alcohol. Drinking is encouraged and it’s a right of passage during pledging. They don’t care that your freshman is underage. The alcohol is freely distributed.
  • The clique mentality-Greek life encourages snobbery. If you’re a member of a sorority or a fraternity, you’re taught (whether directly or indirectly) that you’re better than everyone else. I never liked that attitude and it contradicted some of the values that I taught my daughter growing up.
  • The cost-Greek life will add hundreds of dollars a semester to your college expenses. The obvious costs are dues. But add to that t-shirts, out of town trips, and additional event fees that may not be included in the semester dues. If you have a daughter, you should plan to purchase dresses for numerous semi-formal and formal events throughout the year.

Pros

  • Lifetime friendships-My daughter made some great friends during college, not all in her sorority, but many were. Her “big sister” became her best friend and that relationship is still strong today. Her big sister helped her through some difficult times in college (deaths of friends and grandparents) and helped her navigate the ins and outs of Greek life.
  • Social expertise-Greek life does force you to become socially active. The events and activities enable you to become comfortable in social situations and help you learn how to meet and make new friends. You’re part of a family and this helps, especially if your family is miles away (as we were) and you need a “home” to go to.
  • Networking-Going Greek affords you tremendous networking connections during college and after graduation. Since you’re part of an alumni group, you have outside contacts that can help with your job search and give you an upper hand in the post graduation job search.
  • Leadership skills-My daughter served in numerous leadership capacities within her sorority and as part of the on-campus Greek council. She learned how to delegate, organize events, and manage finances, all while being a part of a Greek organization.
  • Charity work-All Greek organizations adopt a charity. Their members work hard to support that charity and participate in fund-raising events throughout the year. This teaches them to give back to others and it promotes a mindset that they take with them after graduation.

So here’s the big question–Am I glad that my daughter went Greek? Yes. In the long run, it was a positive experience for her. During the short term, I was frustrated with some of the negative influences and attitudes I witnessed. It was right for her, but it’s not right for everyone. If your teen has his/her heart set on Greek life, ask questions and be prepared to have some of the same mixed emotions I had.

Additional resources:

Sorority Recruitment Blog

SororityParents.com

Recent Grads Reveal College Regrets


Advice from those who have “been there and done that” is always valuable. I like talking to college students and recent graduates to find out what they might have done differently, as evidenced by a recent post on my blog written by a current student at Virginia Tech. Below are some thoughts from recent graduates whose advice can be helpful in planning for the future.

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Everyone’s college experience is different. We come from places far and near; we run in different social circles; we pursue different activities and classes and majors. No one college student can be at two, three, four places at once — not every sporting event or party or meeting or cookout. We just try to make the most of these four years and hope/wish/pray that they don’t fly by too fast.

But wouldn’t it be nice to hear what college grads have to say about their experiences? Their regrets, their proudest moments and their sage advice? We took a look back with four recent graduates:

JAIME JACKSON GILES

The 2003 Roanoke University alum recently received her master’s in education from Shenandoah University.

Biggest regret: “I wish I’d played sports.”
Giles was heavily involved in Greek life and the student-activities organization at Roanoke. “Yet I still wish I had pursued more, joined more clubs,” she says. “I played softball growing up as a kid, and I didn’t even try out for the club team when I got to college.” Giles also wishes she’d attended more sporting events. “You take a lot of the sports for granted while you’re there and then regret not going to watch more of your fellow students in action.”

Proudest accomplishment: “I let go of my fears.”
“I’ll always remember speaking at graduation,” says Giles. “It was an honor.” Of  course, she’s also proud of her master’s degree. “I think it represents how hard I’ve worked since graduating from Roanoke.”

Best advice: “Go to class!”
“Even if no one’s forcing you to, you’ve got to discipline yourself to go,” says Giles. Nevertheless, she stresses the importance of balancing work and play: “Instead of all that reading, go to a party instead because you’ll regret not going later.”

DAVID AMOS

After graduating from the University of Virginia in spring 2010, Amos is taking time off before law school.

Biggest regret: “I put things off.”
Typical traditions at UVA include streaking the famed lawn and touring Monticello, the home of founder Thomas Jefferson. “I spent too much time pushing all of those things off into an ‘I’ll do it later’ category,” says Amos. Clearly, he can still pursue those things (hopefully not the streaking) … but not as a student.

Proudest accomplishment: “I took some risks.”
Amos is most proud of getting accepted to UVA’s McIntire Commerce School (currently ranked second among undergraduate business schools), as well as running for the Commerce School presidency — even though he lost by a measly three votes. “I’m obviously not happy I lost, but I was proud of being part of the UVA student government process.”

Best advice: “Have fun!”
Enjoy the college experience while you can, says Amos: “Grades will matter for the next three years. Memories will be with you for the rest of your life.” And to all of you new UVA Cavaliers reading this, he offers a few more words of wisdom: “Hate Virginia Tech with a passion.” Kidding, of course … but not really.

LEIA VACHON

The 2008 Appalachian State grad is currently working but has dreams of becoming a missionary.

Biggest regret: “I wasted time not pursuing my passion.”
“I ended up taking part in a lot of activities during my time at App,” says Vachon. “I tried to take advantage of every day and make it exciting.” But she wishes she’d spent more time during her first years on campus doing what she wanted to do. “I pledged a sorority but then deactivated because I realized it just wasn’t for me. Then, in my last couple of years, I became really involved in the campus ministry — and loved every second of it, meeting some of my best friends.”

Proudest accomplishment: “I learned to effectively multitask.”
Balancing her various extracurriculars, keeping up a high GPA and earning her degree by double-majoring in public relations and business was quite a feat for Vachon. “I feel like I had a well-rounded, rich college experience,” she says. “I’m very proud of what I achieved — and want to use what I learned to do bigger and better things in the future.”

Best advice: “Soak up every minute of it.”
“Enjoy every new day you have! Count each one as a blessing, and try to live life to the fullest,” Vachon says. “Meet new people, take cool classes, get involved, but also take time for yourself once in a while.”

CHARLES MILLER

The 2010 University of Virginia grad is taking time off before medical school.

Biggest regret: “I did way too much.”
While many students advise making the most of your time in college, Miller might have been too involved. He was a member of a fraternity, competed as a top player on the club tennis team, conducted countless hours as a research assistant, volunteered at UVA Hospital — often late at night and on weekends. “I wish I had just focused more on the moment, on being a student,” says Miller. “It’s important not to spread yourself too thin. There are so many hassles to deal with after college that you shouldn’t be worrying about them while you’re there.”

Proudest accomplishment: “I got into med school.”
“I’m thrilled I was accepted,” says Miller. “It’s tangible proof of all the hard work I put in during my time at UVA.”

Best advice: “Do what makes you happy.”
Says Miller: “That’s the biggest piece of advice I can offer — and probably the most useful you will hear.”

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This article was written by David Replogle at The Real College Guide and  is made available to Parents Countdown to College Coach through a partnership with The Real College Guide.

That all-important "money talk"

money talk
Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

It’s never too early to talk to your teens about college costs and what is expected of them once they take that much anticipated journey. If they understand the family’s financial situation and know what they will be expected to contribute towards college costs, they can start planning ahead by working dur thing the summers and saving (Note: just make sure they put those savin

According to a recent article in the Sacramento Bee about talking with your kids about college costs, kids are acutely aware of their need to contribute :

Despite the continuing cloudy economic forecast, one thing is crystal-clear: College costs continue to climb. And it’s made many students acutely aware. In a recent Fidelity Investments online survey of U.S. high school seniors, a majority said saving for education was “overwhelming.” Good news for parents: 94 percent of students were willing to pay for at least some of their college costs; 56 percent of those said their share should be half.
When having the conversation, however, make sure it’s just that–not a lecture. Approach it as a collaborative discussion and use this as a start to helping your teen understand the importance of budgeting and “needs vs wants”.  Here are just a few bullet points highlighted in the above mentioned article:
  • Start off by making sure your teen knows what a “need” is and what a “want” is in relation to college costs. For some teens, all wants are needs. This is the time to nail the definition down and clarify it in their minds.
  • Decide just who will be paying for each college expense. Every family is different but it’s important to make this clear from the very beginning so that there won’t be any surprises.
  • Use a budget worksheet and understand ALL college expenses. Don’t just assume that tuition, room and board will cover it.

When your teens contribute to the costs of their education, they will be more invested in their success. They will also learn valuable budgeting lessons that will stick with them past college and into adulthood. You’re doing your teen a disservice if you don’t involve them in the college financial discussions. They need to be active participants in the decisions and also play an active part in paying for that high-cost college education.

Many of the college debt disasters in the news recently might have been avoided if the parents had sat down with their teens and had the “money talk”. Don’t let your teen walk across that stage at graduation and be clueless as to how to budget and be a financially responsible adult. It’s your job as a parent college coach to prepare them for a financially stable future.

If you liked this post, you might also like to read:

IvyAlly-Helping in the admissions process

We have talked to many parents, and have heard the same problem expressed repeatedly.  A father of four whose eldest daughter had just finished her freshman year in high school explained, “I don’t know what I don’t know.” 

For some, this sentiment came from an appreciation that the application process has evolved drastically, becoming more competitive and comprehensive.  Others had not gone to college themselves and had no intimate experience to draw upon.  Still others had gone to public universities with different criteria for acceptance and were unsure if their advice would be as applicable and helpful to more selective institutions.

IvyAlly was built around the idea that no one has the insight, experience, or recollection of how to get accepted into elite universities than those students who have just crossed the chasm and are now attending the school of their dreams.

We are a community of over 40 current Ivy League students looking to help others in the admissions process.  More importantly, we are 40 individuals that demonstrate how diverse and unique the path to acceptance can be.  

Our mission is to level the playing field in the college admissions process.  Before, high school students had to rely on their own networks to receive advice.  Worse, professional services priced many families out costing hundreds to thousands of dollars.  We want to change this reality by providing affordable resources.

We have created our resources by talking to current college students and asking them what they wished they had as resources during the college application process.  We have also met with high school students for advice and feedback.  For example, we will be launching a new series titled 500 Words.  Each week, one of our Mentors will upload one of their admissions essays and film a short segment, about 5 minutes long, talking about their individual writing process, how they chose the topic, and what they like and dislike about the essay.  For more information about all of our resources, check out our site: www.ivyally.com.  

Feel free to contact me at stephanserrano@ivyally.com with any questions regarding the college application and selection process. 

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Use this code: PARENTSCOUNT and get a 20% discount

My Top Favs from the Top 100

CollegeScholarships.org recently posted a list of the Top 100 Education advice blogs, of which I am proud to say my Parents Countdown to College Coach blog was #5 on the list. If you’re a parent of a college-bound teen you should take some time to peruse the list and check out the valuable information provided on each of the blogs. Bookmark the page and keep it in your favorites folder for future reference. Some of MY FAVORITES were on the list as well:

9. The Word-Nerd – “I’ve been an SAT tutor off and on for over 10 years,” writes Jenn Cohen, President & Chief Word-Nerd. “My husband, Gary and I started Word-Nerd because I wasn’t happy with what was available to my students for vocabulary prep, so we did it ourselves!  We hit a range of topics from SAT prep tips to college admissions to general rambling about the state of education, all with the aim of not taking ourselves (or college prep) too seriously.” Recommended posts: “Practical advice for choosing a college” and “What does my SAT score mean?

23. My College Guide –  This entertaining-yet-still-educational blog advises college students on how to prepare for college. Categories include choosing a college and/or a major, college applications and interviews, or transferring to a different school. Recommended posts: “Choosing a College Major You Can Live With” and “The College Letter of Recommendation Is Not My Grandma Thinks I’m Wonderful

48. College Blogaversity -“I write my blog to take a different twist to what everyone else in my field is saying,” explains Paul Hemphill. “The fact that I have videos with my blog makes my point. Videos are easier to do and easier to receive from the perspective of the viewer. As a result, students will more likely view my message than someone else’s who doesn’t use video.” Recommended posts: “College Double Major: Waste of Effort, Money, and Time” and “Community College – The Vital Alternative.”

73. College Admissions –  Blogger Jeannie Borin, M.Ed, has an extensive educational background having served as counselor, school administrator, admissions director, teacher and curriculum supervisor for over twenty years in both the public and private sectors. Her affiliation with the National and Western Association of College Admissions Counselors as well as the Higher Educational Consultants Association keeps her on the forefront of innovative and current trends in college admissions and education.” She is also the Founder and President of the Los Angeles based independent college counseling firm College Connections, and writes for two other blogs: College Connections and Jeannie’s FYI College Admissions Blog. Recommended posts: “Tips For The College Fair” and “What to Do When Colleges ACCEPT You.”

56. Smart College Visit – The specific goal of this blog is to help college-bound students prepare for their future campus visit. Parents could also find some helpful advice from these articles, which range from academic programs, travel tips, and how to become a successful entrepreneur. Recommended posts: “Women Entrepreneurs on College Visits – 10 Questions to Ask,” “Student-to-Student: Questions to ask on a College Visit” and “Information Overload.”

Thanks CollegeScholarships.org for compiling such a great list!

Is student safety at the top of your list?

Lately, we’ve heard so many reports in the news about college students and the dangers on college campuses: shootings, kidnappings, hazing, abuse and violence. It’s hard to not worry when your child is hundreds or even thousands of miles away on campus. It’s easy for them to get into situations that endanger their lives. And it’s hard not to wish there was some way you could protect them.

Recently, I was introduced to a new product that was developed to put parents at ease: OnCall Defender™. It’s not a tracking device; your kids won’t feel their privacy is compromised. It’s a tool they can use to arm themselves when they feel threatened. According to its creator:

The OnCall Defender™ Panic Alarm is the only 24/7 advanced mobile protection GPS alarm system that is connected to a professionally staffed central monitoring station. This is a serious personal security system that is connected to local law enforcement dispatch through one of the top security monitoring companies in the business. So there is no more waiting for someone to answer your call, or put you on hold in an emergency. In a life or death situation, every second counts; and that’s where this revolutionary mobile protection app could save your life or that of a loved one. OnCall Defender™ was developed by high-level security and alarm technology experts who have long understood the need to bring the highest level of security down to a personal level at an affordable cost.

It’s as easy as downloading a FREE app for the iPhone and following the simple instructions. Your child can input personal information and a photo which is stored for law enforcement reference. If an emergency arises, and the alarm is activated, they will have all the contact and pertinent information readily available along with an exact location of your child.

Imagine if this had been available during the VA Tech shootings; or when that beautiful lacrosse player was brutally and fatally attacked by her ex-boyfriend. In spite of all our warnings, our kids think they are invincible–they walk at night alone, get into cars with people they don’t really know that well, and find themselves in situations where they feel threatened. Having this new tool will not only protect them, but it will give you peace of mind.

I actually downloaded the app myself. It was simple and easy to use. Once I completed the instructions, I was able to test and arm the alarm. It’s loud enough to scare away any attacker and easy enough that it doesn’t require any dialing or fumbling around to activate. The modest monthly fee is well worth the security and protection.

Check it out here: OnCall Defender–and let me know what you think. I always like to share new, helpful products with my parent readers.

Stay safe!

SAT "Eureka" Moments!

When you’re a parent of a college-bound teen you have a ton of questions. Every day brings a new list of “how do I…, where do we find…, how do we do….; you get the picture! And if it’s questions you have and answers you need, one of the best places to go is #CampusChat on Twitter. Each week, @collegevisit hosts some experts in the field of college admissions and this past week was no exception.

This week’s guest was the ever flamboyant, always pithy, and never disappointing @akilbello of BellCurves.com. Since Akil was a captive expert about everything you wanted to know about standardized tests but were afraid to ask, I took the opportunity to listen (or read since it was a TweetChat) and soak up all his knowledge. And of course, the ever sharing, always helpful Parent College Coach that I am—I wanted to share the information with my readers.

Akil began by saying:

Test prep involves 2 things: learning to use the nuances of the test to your advantage and ensuring you have the information tested. If the student has one but not the other they will probably “not test well” but too many people see the test format as the problem.

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Eureka! I can’t tell you how many parents say their teens just don’t test well (I was guilty of that one myself!)

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When queried about the need for standardized tests, Akil replied:

Standardized tests are the buzz saw used in open heart surgery.

The SAT is fair in the way that a free throw contest is fair. It’s still a bad way to choose a basketball team.

Whether its requirement to wear a pink tutu or the SAT, colleges will always have some deterrent—they must!

Imagine trying to review 10,000 high school transcripts to find 1,000 students and not knowing if the school is inflating grades.

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Revelation! Although none of us “like” those stress producers, they do serve their purpose in allowing the admissions officials to level the playing field and narrow down the applicants.

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Then, I asked a question of my own–

What should parents/students look for when choosing a test prep company?

Look for type of focus: test-taking tricks (guessing strategies, pacing) or content (teaching vocabulary, math rules) duration of the program (courses range from 18 – 40 hours), quality of material, and type of people hired (smart or good teachers).

Don’t let “our teachers score perfect” sway you. Go see the teachers in action. Some smart people are horrible teachers

Avoid really large classes, really short classes, and classes taught by people with no testing experience.

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Finally! A straight, concise answer to a question that so many parents have asked me.

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Then, if that wasn’t enough, he tacked on an article to boot:

Here is a good post on teaching

http://gmat.bellcurves.com/blog/2010/03/13/einstein-cant-teach-me-physics/

The bottom line–

Akil said, “Use a test prep organization for the same reason you hire a plumber and with the same caution.”

Akil delivered! Check out his website (http://sat.bellcurves.com/) and show him some love on Twitter (@akilbello). It’s always great to find an expert in this field that openly provides advice and help.

Eureka!

10 Tips for College Survival


The students at Harvard will tell you that “getting in” is the hard part. But with so many freshmen, the first semester is even harder. Here are some tips that might help your college-bound teen survive and thrive.

1. Read the requirements

Graduation might be years away, but credit catastrophes begin early on. Check in with your advisor at the start of each semester to make sure you’re on track to meet the minimum.

2. Read the syllabus

Especially the part where profs break down your grade. Knowing that attendance equals 20 percent may motivate you to actually make it to class. Final exam worth 40 percent? Better crack down for that test.

3. Dress code

Wear real clothes instead of sloppy pj’s to your 8 a.m. class to let your prof know you’re serious about your studies. Bonus: It gives your brain a wake-up boost.

4. Secure your stuff

Protect your privacy, from personal IM convos to term papers, with tricky passwords that lock out access to your computer when you’re gone. And set verbal boundaries to keep your roommate away from your keys.

5. Yearn to intern?

For a fall internship, search and apply long before the leaves start changing. Do it now! For spring, apply by December. For summer, apply by March.

6. Strategize for studying abroad

Plan your schedule around a semester away, saving electives and nonmajor classes for then. Some programs even offer location-specific courses. You don’t want to miss out!

7. Network now

Professors and friends you’re meeting now could help you land your dream job later. Start a personal address book, on paper or online — it may come in handy even after graduation.

8. Stay safe after dark

When walking on or off campus at night, use the buddy system. Avoid distractions, like wearing iPods or talking on the phone, and be constantly aware of your surroundings.

9. Be your own study buddy

Test different methods of studying — from reading out loud to rewriting or even highlighting notes. Find the perfect fit and make it stick.

10. Pad your resume

Just like college admission officers, employers like well-rounded new hires. Being a fellow member on Greek row doesn’t hurt, but be sure to sign up for a variety of extracurrix.

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These Tips are from the editors at The Real College Guide. This article is made available to Parents Countdown to College Coach through a partnership with The Real College Guide.

A CollegeParent Partnership

With all the recent talk of helicopter parents, I’ve picked up on some slight disdain from academia when it comes to parent involvement. Granted, there are some parents that would make any admissions representative pull their hair out. But I would like to think that there are so many more parents who view their role more as a coach in the process and would like to have colleges value their input. After all, when it comes right down to it, parents are generally the ones paying the bill for the student’s education.

During a recent #CampusChat on Twitter, Gil Rogers, Associate Director of Admissions and Enrollment Technology for the University of New Haven shed some light on how his college views the parent/college relationship:

We like to be a partner in a family’s college search, not just an option. We simply encourage parents to allow students to have their space and make the choice. Let the kid drive the car. We have, however, developed a number of communication tools with parents in mind. Charger Connection and the monthly eblasts that admissions sends are to prospective student’s parents. The monthly e-mail that goes to all parents we have e-mail addresses for is separate from the student’s with tips. Social Media (and any communication tool for that matter) is about building relationships.

That’s the view that parents like to hear: a partner in the family’s college search. With this view, both parent and student feel valuable; and this translates into the college providing a positive environment for making the right college choice.

University of New Haven has created an extremely helpful parent’s guide: Parents Guide to College and Financial Planning. They cover every topic that a parent needs to know about college choices and financial planning; also giving advice on how to help your student survive the first year of college. This guide communicates that partnership that Gil talked about and emanates through his social media persona.

I hope you will take a look at the University of New Haven and even view their parent’s guide. Here are the links to connect with them online:

University of New Haven

UNewHaven Facebook Page

UNewHaven Twitter Account