Category Archives: college guidance

college guidance, hooking up, parenting, social networks

The hooking up culture

 

Hooking upIs dating gone? What about courtship? According to a recent NY Times article and most college students it’s a dinosaur. They have random “hook ups” with people they meet–which can include anything from making out to oral sex to intercourse. Parents need to know and understand this new culture in order to prepare their students for college. As I’ve said before, preparation is much more than academics.

According to the article in the Times hooking up is destroying today’s young adults:

Blame the much-documented rise of the “hookup culture” among young people, characterized by spontaneous, commitment-free (and often, alcohol-fueled) romantic flings. Many students today have never been on a traditional date, said Donna Freitas, who has taught religion and gender studies at Boston University and Hofstra and is the author of the forthcoming book, “The End of Sex: How Hookup Culture is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Intimacy.”

Parents MUST be aware of the current “hook up” culture and have some serious talks with their teens. Steer them away from one night stands, make out sessions, and sexting. Inform them of the changes that have occurred (if they don’t already know) in how people meet and get to know one another. Consider this story in The Atlantic:

This was a routine she repeated for months. Every weekend night, and on some weekday nights, she would drink so heavily that she could remember only patches of what happened the night before and then would have sex with the same fraternity brother. One night, she was talking with someone else at the frat when the brother interrupted her and led her upstairs to have sex. On another occasion, they had sex at the frat, but Nicole was too drunk to find her clothes afterward, so she started walking around the house naked, to the amusement of all of the other brothers. She was too drunk to care. Eventually, everything went dark. Next weekend, she returned to the frat.

When I asked Nicole if she was still hooking up with the same frat boy, she shook her head. She explained that the entire time she was having sex with him he never once spoke to her or acknowledged her outside of his fraternity’s basement. Not in the library, not in the dining hall, not at the bookstore.

I later told Nicole’s story to a close guy friend. “What a jerk, right?” My friend, also a frat brother, objected: “After the first time, it starts becoming the girl’s fault, too.” Nicole and the frat brother were just hooking up, after all—what didn’t I get?

Make your girls (and boys) understand that “hooking up” is NOT the road to a lasting relationship. Help them know how to stand up to peer pressure and encourage them to seek out relationships, even if it’s not the norm and it takes time.

This Friday night on 20/20, Denice Ann Evans, producer of the award-winning feature documentary: Spitting Game: The College Hook Up Culture, will talk about hooking up, the use of social media, texting and sexting on college campuses. It’s an interview you don’t want to miss. Record it if you have to but watch it with your teen. Education is much more than academics. Parenting your college-bound teen requires that you invest your time to understand the obstacles that your teen will face as they enter college.

college guidance, college planning, parenting

Working part-time during high school

 

The Essential Guide to High Schooler's Prepping for College

As a parent, you’re not only responsible for helping your teen get into college but also for making sure they’re prepared for it. From money management to studying skills, college requires a diverse set of skill sets. Just getting good grades in high school won’t effectively train your student for the demands of university life.

Perhaps balancing after school activities, household chores and a job will:


Encourage Exploration

Teens who work during high school — at the city swimming pool, mayor’s office or local burger joint — will gain valuable insight about themselves, their working habits and career aspirations. Their career choice may change, but it’s what they learn that’ll prove useful in college. Part-time work can help a teen discover and develop his or her natural traits, such as leadership, communication or team player abilities. By the time they get to college, working teens will already be experienced and ready to make decisions about classes, majors and career choices.

Resume Building

Some teen job seekers aren’t sure what a resume is, don’t think they need a resume, or aren’t sure what to include.

Even though, a resume isn’t required for a lot of teen jobs, a resume can bolster the chances of getting hired. Plus, the teen will have more information to put on the resume than one might think. Even if, it isn’t formal work experience, it doesn’t matter — include other types of work like house sitting or volunteering experiences.

Apply for jobs by making a list with your teen:

  • Name, address and contact info
  • School, work, volunteering history
  • Skills and experience
  • Accomplishments such as awards, sports, honor roll, etc

Develops Independence

A teen who’s expected to balance homework, after school activities, a social life, and work will have to learn time management and responsibility. If handled properly, this can provide teens with a great opportunity to mature and find their independence. As parents, we often try to micro-manage our kids’ lives as a way to lead them down the right path. Do that, but when they hit a certain age, you need to cut the cord. Let them make some of their own life decisions, even if it means guaranteed bumps in the figurative road of the future. They’ll learn from those mistakes and be grateful you let them.

They Learn to Communicate

If you have a sometimes strained relationship with your 15-year-old — and who doesn’t — it can make you wonder how one would handle a working relationship with co-workers or a boss. Conversing regularly with people who aren’t their friends or family members provides a good experience for teens. They learn to communicate with people who don’t already like or know them. It can be rough, but it’s essential. Fast forward five years and that teen will be in college and need those skills when participating in group projects.

Building Confidence

Being aware of ones natural talents is one thing, but having confidence in ones ability to try is another. Teens need experience in learning from mistakes. Working part time will undoubtedly present opportunities for this. If handled properly, teens will learn how to apply criticism and improve — which will help them build confidence as they see reputation isn’t built on skill alone but also on their ability to try, and try again. College life and all that it includes can sometimes be rough. Your student will need a degree of confidence to succeed — help them build it.

Saving for college

Working part-time during high school will also give your teen the opportunity to save money for college. This money can be used for purchasing books, travel expenses, living expenses and even tuition, translating into less money to borrow while they are in school.

college guidance, dorm life

5 First aid tips for college students

campus health services

 

Though all college students are covered by insurance for the duration of their studies, there are minor injuries that can be treated without having to walk into an emergency room.  There are a few first aid tips for college students and preventative safety measures that will allow you to keep certain injuries from keeping you down when you should be hitting the books.

Burns

If a serious burn takes place, from boiling oil or a fiery object, it is necessary to get to the hospital immediately.  There are very few cases of serious burns, however, and the occasional singing can be taken care of with only a few preventative measures.  A cooling ointment will help take care of first-degree burns that come from accidentally touching a radiator or getting a nasty sunburn after a long football game.  For a more serious burn, you should cover the area with sterile gauze.  Do not use cotton balls, since they can get small bits of fabric into the wounded skin.

Relieve Pain

Headaches, tension, stress, migraines, and the occasional boo-boo are all commonplace in the college environment.  A simple over-the-counter pain relief medication can be a godsend after a particularly intense lecture, a major exam, or a lengthy cramming session.  An aspirin is good for physical pain or soreness from activities like intramural sports or gym exercise, while ibuprofen like Advil is better for headaches or tension brought about by stress.  Remember to be careful not to take more than the recommended dosage of pain relievers.

Keep Sickness at Bay

A cold-weather college can breed the flu like an incubator.  Avoid colds and flu by bundling up against inclement weather, but also stash away flu medication for what is likely an inevitable contest with sickness.  Vitamin C tablets and lozenges work well to not only boost your immune system but to clear up a sore throat.  Cough syrup works well, but too much can leave a student woozy and drowsy.  Keep a thermometer on hand in order to monitor your temperature, and do not be afraid to see a doctor if your temperature exceeds one hundred degrees.

Cuts and Bruises

Whether you are a particularly clumsy student or whether you just have bad luck handling things, there are sure to be a multitude of cuts and scrapes in the duration of your studies.  Keeping sterile bandages on hand will help against paper cuts, cracked skin, or any sports injuries that cause blood to flow.  Keep a set of pressure-sensitive pads on hand so that you can protect your feet against blisters if you have to hike all the way across campus in order to get to your next class.  If necessary, a full knee brace can be helpful if you have to lift heavy objects or participate in a soccer game that puts much more demand on your limbs.  Remember that any kit should have basic items like tweezers and scissors in order to create a field bandage or operation in a hurry.

Antibiotics

The biggest harm that will likely come to a college student will come from another college student in their near vicinity.  Living in a dorm room hall with dozens or even hundreds of other students will create a breeding ground for infections and germs.  Keeping these nasty little invisible menaces at bay is the best means of keeping yourself healthy.  Having an antibiotic ointment like Neosporin for cuts allows you to prevent infection, while a rubbing alcohol application on surfaces like desks and computer keyboards will prevent the spread of germs from person to person.

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Author Bio

Sarah Daren is a writer who creates informative article related to the field of health. In this article, she offers first aid tips to college students to help against sickness and burns and aims to encourage further study with an  online fire science degree.

college guidance, college planning, parenting

Preparing for college studies

preparing for college

 

There comes a time when parents have to send their children off to the world of university or college, and hope that the child acts appropriately and completes the studies in a mature manner. Though independent, there are certain lessons that parents should strive to teach the child before they leave home to enter their first year of college studies.

The following are four ideas and lessons parents should teach their child to ensure they are preparing for college studies:

Teaching Healthy Study Habits

Encouraging a healthy study habit is important, but first the student must learn the study habits that are going to help them to excel in their classes. Teaching methods to remember and recall information, habits to study alone and as part of a group, and habits that can help the student to embed the information to their memory are essential for students transitioning to a university setting.

Parents should emphasize the fact that cramming, or waiting until the last minute to study large amounts of material, isn’t an effective way to absorb the information. Proper organization and planning is required for successful studying. Encouraging healthy eating and sleeping habits as part of the lifestyle can help students to get in the right state of mind for studying.

There are classes parents can register the student for that teach basic studying techniques, as well as identifying the type of learning that works best for your child. Using these classes, parents and students can find studying techniques that work.

Teaching the Student to Ask for Assistance

There are many sources of assistance available throughout the post secondary education. Students can find help through study sessions taught to enhance the information that has been learned in the lecture hall, group sessions between peers that can be used to understand ideas, and tutoring services that are available through the university or college, free of charge.

It’s important to teach the student that it’s okay to ask for help, and learn about the options that are available for the student to find the help needed. Asking for help at the beginning of the confusion of concepts, rather than waiting until the concept has been built upon, can help the student to understand the lessons being taught.

Teach Short and Long Term Goal Setting

Parents should teach students the importance of setting goals and the differences between short and long-term goals. Creating goals that are semester wide and education wide both as short and long term can help the student to reach their goals.

It’s important to teach the student to set goals that are achievable and realistic to be reached within the time frame. Always include a time frame that includes completion of the goal. A goal without a timeline is not a goal at all. Teach the student that it’s okay to reward themselves once the goal has been reached, but rewards should be practical and match the type of goal that has been completed.

Teach Accountability

Unlike high school, where students have teachers and parents that ensure the work is being completed, students are held accountable to themselves in post secondary school. If work is incomplete and tests aren’t attended, zero marks are given to the student.

It’s important for the student to realize that they are held accountable to themselves and that they are solely responsible to study and get the course work completed. This is one of the most important things to teach the student before they head off to college (especially for students that are leaving home and going to school). Students must be aware of the privilege and cost that comes with post secondary school and ensure that the lessons are being absorbed, to avoid a squandered education.

The combination of these four lessons can help to increase the chances that the student is going to be successful in their first and subsequent years of post secondary studies.

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Author Bio

Ryan Ayers is a writer who creates informative articles relating to education. In this article, he offers tips for students to prepare for college and aims to encourage further study with a Master in Higher Education.

college guidance, college majors, college planning, financial aid

Why engineering degrees are still worth the resources

engineering degrees

 

There is a great deal of cynicism about the value of a collegiate degree these days, as unemployment soars and many people, even those with higher-level education, find themselves unable to find meaningful work.  While an English or Theater degree may be less valuable than the student would have hoped for, the good news is that an engineering degree can be worth every penny put into a person’s education.  The number of engineers in today’s society are far lower than the current demand for their services, making it not only easy for job placement, but also for picking and choosing where you would like to work.

The Money Talks

The National Association of Colleges and Employers suggests that there are few degrees that are more valuable to a student than engineering itself.  Four out of the five highest paid majors go to engineers, with petroleum engineering topping the scales at an average paycheck of one hundred thousand dollars for an entry-level position!

While a degree in computer engineering does not pay six figures, it is still possible to earn over fifty thousand dollars per year upon graduation.  What’s more, this value is sure to increase over the course of an entire career.  For a person who works for forty years, an engineering degree will provide half a million dollars more in salary than a person with just a high school education.

The Reason For the Pay

Why are engineering degrees and educational paths so much more valuable than other professions?  The answer is simple; it is a case of supply and demand.  Fewer and fewer students are going into engineering in all forms, with only five percent of all graduates holding these golden degrees.

In the United States, this imbalance is especially profound.  Other industrialized nations like Germany and Japan suffer from far more competition, with as many as one third of all students graduating with engineering degrees, but in the United States this particular career path is much more rarely taken. Engineering jobs are continually becoming available worldwide, such as the number of jobs that went into engineering at the Olympics every four years.

How Much Should You Pay For a Degree?

If you go to a major, well-respected technological university, you could realistically expect to pay about two hundred thousand dollars for a five-year engineering degree.  This kind of debt can keep a person in tuition bills for much of their life, even if their highly regarded degree gives them favorable job placement for a firm.  For a state school, however, you may pay only about ten thousand dollars per year for tuition (that figure is about double for out-of-state tuition).  This figure, however, does not include books, housing, fees, or other sums like parking.

How to Pay For the Education

Student loans have now eclipsed credit card debt as the number one source of owed money in the United States.  For those who want to pursue a degree in engineering, it may be necessary to take on significant debt in order to pursue a high-profile career.  For those who want to start a career, move to a new city, or purchase a house, it may be extremely difficult if they have several figures worth of student loan debt.

It is far better to get a type of aid for your education and reduce the payments as much as you are able to over the course of your schooling.  Since nearly all engineering degrees require five years of study, the financial commitment is even greater.  The good news is that the final year is usually spent in a co-op program where the student will earn money, so that it is not always necessary to take out loans for the final year of schooling.

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Author Bio

William Stevens is a blogger who creates informative articles relating to engineering. In this article, he explains the financial situation around a degree in this field and aims to encourage continued study with a  master of engineering in civil engineering.

college guidance, college planning, empty nest, parenting

Top 5 college adjustment tips for parents

empty nest

 

Sending your kids off to college will bring changes into your life. Not only will you have to learn to deal with concerns about health and safety once they’re out of your sight, but you’ll also have the loneliness of an empty nest to contend with. And then, of course, you’ll likely go through an adjustment period with finances. Plus, you’ll have to give up on the notion that your rules and advice carry the ability to influence your kids from afar. In short, it is a transitional period not only for the kids going off to college, but also for the parents left behind, forced to find a new way to live now that they no longer have the immediate demands of parenthood filling their every waking moment.

Here are just a few tips for parents that should help you to navigate this trying time in your life.

  1. Get a hobby. Now that the kids are off to college and intent on living their own lives, you may find yourself with a lot of free time on your hands. While most people would revel in this break from responsibility, the fact that your children are gone could have you moping around the house and missing the pitter patter of little feet (or the blaring music and slamming doors of your teens). A mourning period may be necessary, but there’s no need to prolong the suffering. Spend a few days watching TV and eating comfort food and then find a new way to spend your time. You might take a cooking class, join a gym, or take up gardening. Or you could start a book or movie club with friends. There are a myriad of ways to entertain yourself when you don’t have the pressing concerns of kids taking up all your free time.
  2. Take a trip. Parents often have a hard time figuring out where their relationship will go now that their focus isn’t mainly on the kids. Luckily, this is an excellent opportunity for you to get to know each other again, exploring interests that have long been pushed aside in favor of caring for children. Book a cruise, a weekend camping trip, or a Grand Tour of Europe and use that time to fall in love with your spouse all over again.
  3. Re-budget. Providing for higher education can be quite a balancing act when it comes to your finances. On the one hand, costs may go up significantly thanks to the exorbitant price of tuition, books, and living expenses. On the other hand, parents that plan ahead could have a college fund in place to cover these costs. And if students obtain scholarships, loans, or grants, not to mention paying a portion of their own way by working part-time, you may find yourself with some extra cash on hand. Either way, now is a good time to reevaluate your household budget in order to adjust it accordingly.
  4. Set some ground rules. You won’t have much control over your kids once they’re on campus, but you can still set a few ground rules. For one thing, if you provide a credit card it should be limited to use for school supplies and meals, for example (or else it gets cancelled). And you might want to let your students know that failing to attend class or achieve passing grades, in essence wasting your money, will lead to them getting cut off financially.
  5. Loose the reins. Obviously you’re not going to hire a security company in London or Los Angeles to follow your kids around campus. But if you’re calling them daily and trying to exert undue influence over every decision (from the majors they choose to the food they eat) it’s time to take a step back. If you’ve done a good job raising your kids you have to trust that they have the knowledge and skills to care for themselves and make good decisions. But if you insist on insinuating yourself into their lives you’re only going to alienate them, or worse, destroy their self-confidence and turn them into co-dependents for life. So loose the reins and let them run.

 

admissions, college guidance, college planning

5 tips for finding the “right fit” college

images-6

 

If you are reading this article, then you can probably relate to the saying “time flies”. One day, you were taking your child to their first day of school and now it’s time to help them start filling out applications for college. In what probably feels like a matter of just a few moments, your son or daughter has reached a huge milestone that requires a great amount of preparation.

We’re hoping that we can help the process by providing you with a list of some things that you can do to support your teen in finding the “right fit” college. Check out these five tips below:

1. Steer them away from peer pressure. According to US News & World Report, there was a report that was conducted a few years ago citing that a whopping 79 percent of high school students selected the college they would attend based on where their friends were going. It is important to discuss with your teen that college is a time of fun and learning a new level of independence, but it’s also a season of preparing for their career as an adult. Therefore, going somewhere to follow their best friend should not be considered a good enough reason.

2. Know what you’re working with. Say that your child has a particular school in mind but either they don’t have the right grades or it’s something that’s close to impossible to afford (even with a particular scholarship or financial aid). Before they put a lot of time and energy into applying, it’s a good idea to first sit down and discuss what schools will accept them based on their grades, ACT/SAT test scores and yes, what is financially feasible.

3. Discuss living arrangements. Once you know the realm of what you have to work with, it’s then time to discuss things like living arrangements. Do they want to stay at home? Do they want to live on campus? And if they do want to live in the dorm, how far away from home are they interested in attending? Also, is studying aboard an option? The reason why this is so important is because your child needs to feel comfortable and safe wherever they are; feeling secure will only help them to progress academically.

4. Make sure it complements their core values. If the best resume writer could provide your teen with some good advice on filling out their college applications, one of the things they would probably tell them is that it’s just as important to select a college that complements their values as it is to write a stellar college application essay. That is why some people go to a college that is based on a certain religion or is all-male or all-female. Definitely knowing what’s important to you, both in and outside of the classroom, is important when picking the right college.

5. Tour a few college campuses. Thanks to the power of technology, there are many college websites that offer interactive tours, but that doesn’t come close to personally going on some college campuses and seeing what they have to offer. So, if your teen does want to live on campus and/or doesn’t mind living in another state, take out a few weekends during their senior year to visit some schools. Talk to the administration, visit some of the dorms, discuss with your child is they feel better on a large or small campus. All of these things will help them in deciding which school will prove to be the most beneficial to them over the next several years of their academic life.

college guidance, parenting

Recommended vaccines for your college-bound student

 

images-8For college students, the probability of contracting communicable diseases is much higher than at other stages of adulthood, and there are several reasons for this. For one thing, immunizations received in childhood may wear off by the time that students are entering college, making them more susceptible to catching “dead” diseases, not to mention spreading them. Just look at the recent uptick in cases of whooping cough, which hasn’t been vaccinated for in years because the medical community no longer thought it was a threat.

In addition, college students tend to have irregular sleeping and eating habits, not to mention less-than healthful diets. Further, kids living on their own for the first time in their lives may suffer from some issues with cleanliness and hygiene, now that mom is no longer around to wash dishes and clothing and clean up the living space. The ultimate result is conditions that practically beg for infection.

Luckily, students can get vaccines before (and during) their time in college to stave off major illnesses. Here are a few that are recommended.

  1. MMR. Most of us last received the Measles, Mumps, and Rubella vaccine in early childhood, although many high schools are now starting to require another round for incoming freshmen. As for colleges, they may deny you admission unless you can provide proof of an MMR shot more recently than infancy. So if you had it as a teen, you’re in the clear; just get your doctor to send over a copy of your immunization record. Otherwise you’ll have to get it again. The upside is that you’ll avoid the fever, cough, and rash of measles, the painful swelling and fever of mumps, and the rash of rubella (it is often called the 3-day measles due to milder symptoms and shorter duration, although it is a completely separate virus).
  2. DPT. The Diphtheria, Pertussis, and Tetanus vaccine (also known as Tdap) is one that many colleges have started to require in response to the pertussis (or whooping cough) outbreak. It’s not a bad idea to stay up-to-date with tetanus shots since the symptoms (muscle spasms and lockjaw) are most commonly brought on by wounds that have been contaminated. And you want to avoid the other two, which are both extremely contagious. Diphtheria will leave you with a swollen neck and sore throat, or in rarer cases, skin lesions; and pertussis comes with the characteristic gasping cough, which can last up to six weeks. Overall, these ailments are best avoided.
  3. Meningitis. Inflammation of the meninges (or the membranes that protect the spinal cord and brain) can lead to brain damage and even death, and bacterial meningitis can spread like wildfire amongst a student populace. Luckily, there are vaccines that can protect you from some strains of bacterial and viral meningitis (although not all). Since it is estimated that the majority of cases of meningitis in adults are bacterial, most colleges strongly recommend this vaccine for incoming students.
  4. Hepatitis. As you may know, there are three different types of hepatitis: A, B, and C. Hepatitis B is the one that most commonly affects college students since it may be spread through sexual activity. It leads to inflammation of the liver, which can in turn trigger jaundice and vomiting. It may even cause cirrhosis or death in severe cases. However, a three-dose vaccine can keep this undesirable disease at bay.
  5. Influenza. The flu shot is a vaccine that students will need to receive annually in order to stave off seasonal illness. Despite persistent myths about the ability of the flu shot to bring about the onset of flu-like symptoms, or that only children and the elderly need flu shots, most doctors would stake their physician reputation on a recommended yearly flu vaccine. And when you’re on campus and likely exposed, it’s probably a good idea to get one regularly.

Even though most of these vaccines are required, it’s just smart parenting to stay current on the vaccines for your college-bound student.

college guidance, college planning, parenting

Legal rights for college students with disabilities

students with disabilitiesMost college students with disabilities have a strong desire to be treated just like everyone else. They don’t want special treatment or attention that will single them out and make them an oddity amongst their peer group. This is often true whether the disability is obvious, such as paraplegia, blindness, deafness, and so on, or it is one that other students can’t readily identify, including learning disorders like dyslexia and ADD. And yet, college students with disabilities have certain legal rights when it comes to special services provided on campus (although they may vary by state).

These laws are meant to protect those who must live with disabilities from suffering discriminatory treatment, and they also aim to level the playing field so that every student might receive the same opportunities and education. Even if your disabled children aren’t keen to take advantage of laws that pertain to them during their time in college, you should still take the time to do your research and make them aware of the laws out there that protect them and further their interests. We will discuss just a few legal rights that every parent of disabled children should know about before sending them off to college.

The main federal law in place to protect students with disabilities is the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 (with amendments made in 2008). The ADA is ostensibly a law to protect any American with a disability from discrimination. It is more commonly referred to for instances of discrimination in the workplace, but there are also sections of the law that protect disabled students from discrimination at all state, local, and private institutions of higher learning. Students are also protected by the Rehabilitation Act of 1973; specifically Section 504, which states that any program that receives financial assistance from the federal government is prohibited from discriminating against persons with disabilities.

These laws not only mean that there can be no discrimination in the admissions process, but they also require campuses to provide for reasonable accessibility. This could mean adding ramps or elevators in buildings to accommodate students with disabilities that limit their mobility, or providing sign language translators for students that are deaf and note-takers for those that are visually impaired. However, these laws also apply to students with learning disabilities, which means campuses have to make adjustments for college kids that have issues like reading or math disorders, ADHD, and in some cases emotional problems like anxiety or depression. In these cases, additional services like tutors are provided, or students are allowed additional time to take tests, for example.

Of course, before students can claim these rights they must first be identified as having a qualifying disability. Such a diagnosis can be obtained through trained medical professionals. But if you think your student suffers from a learning disorder, for example, many colleges also provide testing meant to identify issues like dyslexia and dyscalculia (in case you can’t afford outside examination). Once your kids qualify as students with disabilities, they should be eligible for consideration under the law as such, which means any discrimination they encounter during their time on campus is illegal. Although you might not want to hire a leading law firm (like http://www.gullands.com) to go after the school, knowing the legal protections available to your kids can certainly help you to ensure fair treatment during their time in college.