Category Archives: college guidance

college guidance, college planning, parenting, Uncategorized

Parenting college-bound teens without pushing

 

It’s hard. I know. I’ve been there. You want your kids to have the BEST education available. You want them to want it as much as you do. You see them making some choices that you know they will regret. As hard as you try, you find yourself pressuring them to make the right choice and the battle lines are drawn. They dig their heels in. You dig your heels in. And the tug of war begins.

What’s a parent to do when they feel their college-bound teens are making the wrong choices related to college? Take a deep breath and read these examples (along with my suggestions)–

Your college-bound teen tells you he doesn’t want to go to the college that is hard to get into and is opting for what you consider to be sub par.

Don’t panic or overreact. It’s possible he is scared. Try and ascertain the reasoning behind the decision. Don’t do this by badgering him or constantly asking him why. The best way to figure out what is wrong is to LISTEN. Listen to him talk about his day, about college, about how he feels. If fear is not the reason, perhaps he feels the other college would be a better fit. If that’s the case, do yourself a favor and back off. The worst thing you can do with a teenager is force him into a decision he feels is wrong. Sometimes the best lessons we learn are the ones that come from making our own decisions (right or wrong).

Your college-bound teen tells you that he simply MUST go to Private College A, even though she knows it comes with a high price tag.

Don’t let her bully you into sending her to a college you can’t afford AND one that will require a tremendous amount of student loan debt. Sit her down and explain to her the dangers of graduating in debt. Use the college repayment calculators if you have to. If she truly wants to go to Private College A, she needs to do the work (good grades, good SAT/ACT scores, great essay) to be awarded scholarship/grant money from that college. If not, there are always other options and choices.

Your college-bound teen is not interested in college, deadlines, studying for the SAT or any other path that leads him toward higher education.

If there is one thing I learned with both of my kids (and clients), if they aren’t invested in the college process they won’t be invested in college. Save yourself some time, money and heartache and wait until they are. If not, they can learn from the college of hard knocks–minimum wage jobs are the BEST motivator!

Your college-bound teen misses deadlines, panics and comes running to you at the last minute to fix it.

The simplest way I know to avoid missing deadlines, is to get yourself a huge wall calendar and a fat red marker. Put it in a place that they have to pass by every single day. In addition, with all the smartphones and calendar apps available today, missing a deadline should be a thing of the past. At some point (hopefully when they go to college), they will have to fix their own problems. Let them do it now, while they live at home, and it will be easier for them once they are gone. Rescuing your kids all time only makes them into dependent adults and colleges aren’t impressed with those type of students or the parents that come with them.

Your college-bound teen suddenly announces she is not ready for college and wants to take a year off.

First of all, wait. Don’t react. Just listen. Odds are the mood will change with the wind and once all her friends are making college plans, that desire that she once had will kick back in. If not, let her know that it won’t be a “free-ride” year. She will be expected to work and save the money she makes for college.

If you have any questions or personal experiences you would like to share, please leave a comment here and share it with other parents. We learn from each other and from our mistakes and successes!

Disclaimer: These are my “suggestions”. I don’t claim to be a parenting expert, just a parent who has faced these same problems and learned from them. Take my wisdom as you will and realize that every family dynamic is different.

college guidance, college planning, parenting, Uncategorized

Tips for Helping Your College-Bound Teen Reduce Stress

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Is your college-bound teenager feeling stressed about going to college? Let your teen know he or she is not alone; it happens to a lot of college-bound teenagers. Teens feel stressed when they perceive a situation to be difficult, dangerous, or painful. Those going off to college often worry about finding new friends, fitting in with the college crowd, being away from home, getting good grades, and a number of other issues. What can parents do to help? Here are some tips to help your teenagers get rid of stress:

  • Listen: Ask what’s bothering them. Listen and don’t be judgmental. Allow your teenagers to express their opinions.
  • Provide emotional support: By showing your teenagers you care about their feelings, they will feel more connected to you. Don’t criticize or trivialize their stressful feelings. They may seem to be overstressed about about going to college, but remember that teens don’t have the same perspective as adults. Provide reinforcement by giving compliments.
  • Realistic expectations: If part of the stress is due to expectations of grades, be realistic with them about your own expectations of their grades.
  • Support: Encourage teenagers to spend time with friends and relatives who provide positive reinforcement. Friends can help keep your teenager happy and motivated. College students or recent college graduates can be helpful. They can put things in proper perspective and talk about the good times they had while attending college.
  • Be positive: Remind your teenager that these anxious feelings will go away. Encourage your teen to look at the fun aspects of attending college.
  • Teens expressing themselves: Creative activities such as painting, drawing, dancing, and singing reduce tension.
  • Exercise: Exercise releases hormones in the body which lower stress levels. Yoga and meditation relieve stress. Some experts believe sunlight relieves stress. Sunlight is important for the body’s regulation of chemicals, so exercising outdoors is a good option. Also, stressed teens should avoid caffeine drinks.
  • Sleep: Make sure your teen goes to bed early enough to get a good night sleep.
  • Volunteering: Helping other people can help your teen stop worrying about himself.
  • Relaxation: Breathing and muscle relaxation techniques can help your teenager relax.

Stress is a common problem for college-bound teenagers. By addressing the problem and taking action you can help your teenager get rid of stress.

Online Resources

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Brian Jenkins has been writing about a variety topics helpful to college students for BrainTrack since 2008. For more information about BrainTrack, visit our Facebook page.

college guidance, college planning, Uncategorized

Finding a New Home

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As a student who is rapidly approaching college graduation, the process of getting in feels like a distant memory now.  While I can now look back and laugh, I took the process seriously and put a lot of time, effort and emotion into it.  I think that with college admissions the old saying is true: you get out of it what you put into it. I have loved every element of my college experience, and that is because from the beginning I knew I picked the right school.  The best advice I have is to think about it from all angles.  Remember that you will be living there for four very important years.

I started looking for the right university when I was in middle school.  I know that seems a little early, but I had two older brothers.  When I was young, I was already exploring college campuses and trying to picture myself there.  My oldest brother attended Syracuse University, so the first time I actually visited the school I was 13 years old.  It wasn’t until a few years later that I actually started looking for my own school.

One thing I knew was that I wanted to attend a school with an excellent undergraduate business program. Going to a school that has strong departments in what you want to learn is crucial.  When you visit campuses, the number one question you will hear is “why are you interested in attending this school?” My answer to this question was that I liked the subjects of the specific classes they offered.  Many faculty members and admissions officers I spoke to said that this was a rare answer, which shocked me.  Research the curriculum!  Ask current students, email professors, do what ever you need to do ensure that you will be excited for classes instead of sleeping through them. (That habit can get you into some awkward situations.)

Ultimately, I decided to go to Syracuse because it exceeded all of my requirements.  Set goals for what you want to accomplish in college.  If a certain school doesn’t give you opportunity to achieve those goals, cross that school off your list. Once you finally visit a campus you are meant to attend, you will  feel at home.

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Today’s post was written by Adam Britten, a marketing management major at Syracuse University.  Follow him on Twitter @AdamBritten.  Read about his experiences as a volunteer teacher in South Africa for USA Today’s College Blog.

college guidance, college planning

Hottest Careers for College Graduates

The College Board has posted a list of the occupations with the most job openings between 2008-2018. They get these figures from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics: new jobs being created and openings created by retiring workers or those leaving the fields.

I’m skeptical when it comes to any job statistics these days, but it’s worth your time to glance over the list and have your college-bound teen do the same. If they are interested in teaching, it looks like they are headed in the right direction. Also notable are the jobs predicted to be available in computer related fields. At the top of the list, however, are jobs in the field of nursing–now that’s job security!

There is a book coming out this month, Closing America’s Job Gap, that might interest you as well. You can check out an article I wrote related to the findings in this book about the Top 10 Job Sectors for future careers. It’s always helpful to consider the job market when spending thousands of dollars on an education!

college guidance, test prep

College Helper #3-Akil Bello

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In his own words…Akil is “father, husband, GMAT-SAT-ACT-LSAT guru, aspiring abecedary, neophyte preceptor, inchoate pedagogue”. For those of you who are not linguists–that is a bunch of synonyms for “teacher”! Akil, along with his father and brother, started Bell Curves–a completely minority owned test prep company.

What sets Akil apart from the others (other than the fact that he looks snappy in that elf suit?)–is his absolute commitment to help your college-bound teen be prepared for those standardized tests. Not only does he believe that the test is more than a test–it’s a teaching and learning tool. But Akil is snappy with the wit, the words and with the expert advice on test prep.

Akil has a word for the wise to parents: “Use a test prep organization for the same reason you hire a plumber and with the same caution.”

Follow Akil on Twitter if you want to ROFL (and learn a few things in the process) and follow his company Bell Curves for the latest in test prep advice and counseling. The information you gather will be invaluable to you and to your college-bound teen!

Thanks Akil for always making me laugh, adding words to my vocabulary, AND helping kids prepare for standardized tests!

admissions, college guidance

College Helper #2-Video College Coach

Paul Hemphill, owner and founder of PreCollege Prep, is always on my NICE list. This guy puts the KNOW into “know-it-all” when it comes to helping parents get more bang for their buck from colleges. (I especially like how he sports those candy striped tights!)

His sure proof plan to not spend a dime of your hard-earned money (that’s right!) and send your kid to college is sheer genius. If you haven’t seen his videos yet, you’ve got to check them out. His straight-forward way of getting to the heart of the subject with simple solutions and hard-hitting facts makes every one of his tips a winner in my book!

He’s so good, that his videos have been endorsed and marketed by College Parenting Magazine. You can check out some of them for FREE (yes FREE!) on his website–just look on the right hand side of the homepage.

You can follow Paul on his Facebook page for all the latest tips on how to save money on college costs. You will be amazed at the wealth of information you can gain by watching this guy!

Thanks Paul for helping parents save money on college AND protecting our retirement accounts!

college guidance, parenting, Uncategorized

Parenting is NOT for cowards!

Recently I received an email from one of my list subscribers telling me that parents want more than the facts, they want the DETAILS. Then I received an email from a distressed parent, concerned that her son was making the wrong college choice and she wanted to know what to do and how to react.

Let’s face it: parenting is NOT for cowards! Just when you think you have the terrible two’s figured out, along comes grade school woes (and all it entails), middle school trauma (with puberty), and high school drama (with the college admissions process thrown in for good measure). I had a friend who once told me, “potty training ain’t NOTHING compared to parenting a teenager!” She was right!

Parenting is in the details; and knowing where to find those details is often hard. That’s why I created my Parents Countdown to College Coach blog. It’s here to help you find those details; because it’s impossible for me to provide every detail for every question you might have. But, I’ve gathered a wide network of experts to help you find those answers and fill in the blanks where I can’t. If you’re a smart parent (and I know you are) you will utilize each and every one of these resources to help you with all your questions.

Watch my blog over the next few weeks when I feature my favorite college experts and tell you why I think they are BETTER than Santa’s helpers!

And if you’re one of those parents that want ALL the information right at your fingertips, you can find it in my Parents Countdown to College Toolkit.

college guidance, college planning, parenting

My Top 10 Posts–Helping Parents Parent

 

After reading Chris’ guest blog post on Character (The #1 Key to Success in College), I felt it might be prudent to bring back my “best of the best” posts specifically directed toward helping parents parent their college-bound teens. Feel free to pass the link along to other parents (pretty please????).

1. Is college just about ROI?
https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/11/is-college-just-about-roi/

2. 10 concepts your teen should learn BEFORE college
https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/04/10-concepts/

3. Top 10 things every parents should know about “hooking up” in college
https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/04/hooking-up-in-college/

4. Motivating an under-achiever toward college
https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2009/12/motivating-an-underachiever-toward-college/

5. Top 10 Do’s and Don’ts of parenting a college-bound teen
https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/05/parenting-college-bound-teens/

6. Top 10 Questions parents ask about college
https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/06/top-10-questions-parents-ask-about-college/

7. Being realistic about college debt
https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/06/being-realistic-about-college-debt/

8. Being a parent college coach: the three C’s
https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2009/05/being-a-parent-college-coach-the-3-cs/

9. Preparing your teen for college
https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2009/05/preparing-your-teen-for-college-its-all-about-guiding-not-doing/

10. Six Campus Safety talking points
https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/05/campus-safety/

admissions, college guidance, college planning, financial aid, parenting

College Access and Opportunity Guide—A Review

The Center for Student Opportunity created the College Access and Opportunity Guide to help low-income and first generation college-bound students make their college dreams become a reality. As a parent, I found this guide informative and helpful in providing direct information about the college admissions process.

There are helpful tips on how to stay involved in the college process without overstepping your boundaries. The guide clearly sets out the steps to take from beginning to end, along with insider advice from college students and other experts. There is clear discussion about loans, scholarships and how to find the perfect fit college. Also included is an excellent section specifically directed towards parents helping them to listen, encourage and how to let their college-bound teen handle the process by guiding them through the process.

But the real meat of this guide is the college specific information. The guide features 284 colleges and universities highlighted for their outreach efforts, financial aid opportunities and student support services. Instead of focusing solely on the numbers, this guide helps students locate and find important programs at each school that can help prepare for college (Access Programs), locate schools that provide financial incentives for admitted students (Opportunity Programs), and support services for college students to help them persist to graduation (Success Programs).

Each of these colleges is committed to supporting first-generation, low-income, and minority students on their campus and in their community. Profiled colleges are included in light of the programs and opportunities they present for this group of students.

If your college-bound teen falls into this group who want to make their college dreams a reality, you should pick up a copy of this simple-to-read and understand guide.

For more information about the Center for Student Opportunity you can visit them on their website at www.csocollegecenter.org.

admissions, college guidance, college planning, parenting

Is college just about ROI?

This week on #CampusChat there was a guest that informed us that college is a bad investment for a large percentage of teens. Granted, I could see her point (You can read the transcript here). Many teens aren’t ready for college. I agree it is important to counsel our teens on finding out what they love and guiding them along a career path. But is college truly all about ROI? Do we encourage our kids to go to college solely based on the fact that they will give us a good return on our investment?

It’s not that I don’t agree that college, for some, is a bad decision (Should everyone go to college?). Not because it’s a bad investment, but because they aren’t suited for it and would be happier pursuing other options. Should you go into massive debt for a liberal arts degree that leaves you unemployable? Absolutely not (Being realistic about college debt). But, could you get a liberal arts degree and in the process discover your passion? Absolutely.

If you ask both of my children if they thought college was about ROI, they would have different answers. My daughter would say that college for her was so much more than getting that degree and finding a job. She would say that it gave her life experiences. She would say that she found lifelong friends in college. She would say that her study abroad experience was invaluable. She would tell you that she learned about the business world doing internships related to her major. It was at college that she learned independence, budgeting, developed a strong work ethic, got an education, and basically grew up. And she would say that you can’t put a dollar amount on those four years.

My son, on the other hand, had a very different experience. He was not a good student in high school and didn’t show much interest in college, opting for a 4-year term of service in the Marines. After the Marines, he decided to go to college. For him, it was more about pushing himself to attain the degree and proving to himself that he was capable of that level of education. He attended community college for two years and transferred to a 4-year college to finish his degree among the top graduates in his major. And while he did incur some debt acquiring that degree, he would never say it was a waste of time and money or a poor return on investment even though he’s not working in a career related to his liberal arts major.

I’ve known smart kids who knew their career paths at an early age and got to college and failed. I’ve known average students without a clue of what they wanted to be, attend college, find their passion and excel. College opens up your mind, introduces you to experiences and submerges you in academia. Should you be wise about which college you choose and how much you pay for that education and life experience? Of course you should!

I admit. I’m a proponent of college. Perhaps it’s because I never had the opportunity to go. Perhaps it’s because my parents never encouraged me to go. Perhaps it’s because both my kids found value in two different educational paths. For me it’s so much more than ROI. Maybe I’m burying my head in the sand. But I still believe that a college education is something that has great value beyond its cost.

And that, my loyal readers, is one parent’s opinion!