Category Archives: college guidance

Parenting is NOT for cowards!

Recently I received an email from one of my list subscribers telling me that parents want more than the facts, they want the DETAILS. Then I received an email from a distressed parent, concerned that her son was making the wrong college choice and she wanted to know what to do and how to react.

Let’s face it: parenting is NOT for cowards! Just when you think you have the terrible two’s figured out, along comes grade school woes (and all it entails), middle school trauma (with puberty), and high school drama (with the college admissions process thrown in for good measure). I had a friend who once told me, “potty training ain’t NOTHING compared to parenting a teenager!” She was right!

Parenting is in the details; and knowing where to find those details is often hard. That’s why I created my Parents Countdown to College Coach blog. It’s here to help you find those details; because it’s impossible for me to provide every detail for every question you might have. But, I’ve gathered a wide network of experts to help you find those answers and fill in the blanks where I can’t. If you’re a smart parent (and I know you are) you will utilize each and every one of these resources to help you with all your questions.

Watch my blog over the next few weeks when I feature my favorite college experts and tell you why I think they are BETTER than Santa’s helpers!

And if you’re one of those parents that want ALL the information right at your fingertips, you can find it in my Parents Countdown to College Toolkit.

My Top 10 Posts–Helping Parents Parent

 

After reading Chris’ guest blog post on Character (The #1 Key to Success in College), I felt it might be prudent to bring back my “best of the best” posts specifically directed toward helping parents parent their college-bound teens. Feel free to pass the link along to other parents (pretty please????).

1. Is college just about ROI?
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/11/is-college-just-about-roi/

2. 10 concepts your teen should learn BEFORE college
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/04/10-concepts/

3. Top 10 things every parents should know about “hooking up” in college
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/04/hooking-up-in-college/

4. Motivating an under-achiever toward college
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2009/12/motivating-an-underachiever-toward-college/

5. Top 10 Do’s and Don’ts of parenting a college-bound teen
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/05/parenting-college-bound-teens/

6. Top 10 Questions parents ask about college
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/06/top-10-questions-parents-ask-about-college/

7. Being realistic about college debt
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/06/being-realistic-about-college-debt/

8. Being a parent college coach: the three C’s
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2009/05/being-a-parent-college-coach-the-3-cs/

9. Preparing your teen for college
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2009/05/preparing-your-teen-for-college-its-all-about-guiding-not-doing/

10. Six Campus Safety talking points
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/05/campus-safety/

College Access and Opportunity Guide—A Review

The Center for Student Opportunity created the College Access and Opportunity Guide to help low-income and first generation college-bound students make their college dreams become a reality. As a parent, I found this guide informative and helpful in providing direct information about the college admissions process.

There are helpful tips on how to stay involved in the college process without overstepping your boundaries. The guide clearly sets out the steps to take from beginning to end, along with insider advice from college students and other experts. There is clear discussion about loans, scholarships and how to find the perfect fit college. Also included is an excellent section specifically directed towards parents helping them to listen, encourage and how to let their college-bound teen handle the process by guiding them through the process.

But the real meat of this guide is the college specific information. The guide features 284 colleges and universities highlighted for their outreach efforts, financial aid opportunities and student support services. Instead of focusing solely on the numbers, this guide helps students locate and find important programs at each school that can help prepare for college (Access Programs), locate schools that provide financial incentives for admitted students (Opportunity Programs), and support services for college students to help them persist to graduation (Success Programs).

Each of these colleges is committed to supporting first-generation, low-income, and minority students on their campus and in their community. Profiled colleges are included in light of the programs and opportunities they present for this group of students.

If your college-bound teen falls into this group who want to make their college dreams a reality, you should pick up a copy of this simple-to-read and understand guide.

For more information about the Center for Student Opportunity you can visit them on their website at www.csocollegecenter.org.

Is college just about ROI?

This week on #CampusChat there was a guest that informed us that college is a bad investment for a large percentage of teens. Granted, I could see her point (You can read the transcript here). Many teens aren’t ready for college. I agree it is important to counsel our teens on finding out what they love and guiding them along a career path. But is college truly all about ROI? Do we encourage our kids to go to college solely based on the fact that they will give us a good return on our investment?

It’s not that I don’t agree that college, for some, is a bad decision (Should everyone go to college?). Not because it’s a bad investment, but because they aren’t suited for it and would be happier pursuing other options. Should you go into massive debt for a liberal arts degree that leaves you unemployable? Absolutely not (Being realistic about college debt). But, could you get a liberal arts degree and in the process discover your passion? Absolutely.

If you ask both of my children if they thought college was about ROI, they would have different answers. My daughter would say that college for her was so much more than getting that degree and finding a job. She would say that it gave her life experiences. She would say that she found lifelong friends in college. She would say that her study abroad experience was invaluable. She would tell you that she learned about the business world doing internships related to her major. It was at college that she learned independence, budgeting, developed a strong work ethic, got an education, and basically grew up. And she would say that you can’t put a dollar amount on those four years.

My son, on the other hand, had a very different experience. He was not a good student in high school and didn’t show much interest in college, opting for a 4-year term of service in the Marines. After the Marines, he decided to go to college. For him, it was more about pushing himself to attain the degree and proving to himself that he was capable of that level of education. He attended community college for two years and transferred to a 4-year college to finish his degree among the top graduates in his major. And while he did incur some debt acquiring that degree, he would never say it was a waste of time and money or a poor return on investment even though he’s not working in a career related to his liberal arts major.

I’ve known smart kids who knew their career paths at an early age and got to college and failed. I’ve known average students without a clue of what they wanted to be, attend college, find their passion and excel. College opens up your mind, introduces you to experiences and submerges you in academia. Should you be wise about which college you choose and how much you pay for that education and life experience? Of course you should!

I admit. I’m a proponent of college. Perhaps it’s because I never had the opportunity to go. Perhaps it’s because my parents never encouraged me to go. Perhaps it’s because both my kids found value in two different educational paths. For me it’s so much more than ROI. Maybe I’m burying my head in the sand. But I still believe that a college education is something that has great value beyond its cost.

And that, my loyal readers, is one parent’s opinion!

3 Reasons You Can't Miss CollegeWeekLive FALL

I just received an email from College Week Live that I wanted to share with my readers:


CollegeWeekLive FALL, the largest college fair, is your one stop shop for all things college admissions. Here are 3 reasons you need to take advantage of this free resource:

  1. Discover Schools: Over 300 colleges are participating in CollegeWeekLive FALL with virtual booths and online presentations. Research schools that interest you and discover schools that you may not have heard of. CollegeWeekLive FALL has it all.
  2. Find Scholarships: CollegeWeekLive FALL features a database of scholarships worth more than $2.5 Million. One lucky attendee will also be eligible for the CollegeWeekLive $10,000 scholarship just for logging in!
  3. Strengthen Your Application: Let our admissions experts guide you through the application process, including financial aid applications, college essays, test prep, and more. Attend live presentations to ask questions. Anything you miss you can catch on demand!

Login to CollegeWeekLive FALL on November 3rd and 4th for all this and more!

Should everyone go to college?

 

I read an article recently in The Atlantic: “In the Basement of the Ivory Tower“, that gave me some food for thought. It’s been on my mind for quite awhile, especially since I have a close friend who is a financial aid counselor at one of those infamous “for profit” colleges.

She would answer my leading question with a loud and emphatic, “NO”, based on her experience dealing with those who are not prepared to attend college and don’t understand the consequences of borrowing money that they can’t pay back. They have been convinced that without a college education, they can’t get a job or pursue a career. They’ve been told by someone that it doesn’t matter how much money you borrow as long as you get that degree. Once you get that degree you can earn enough money to pay back what you’ve borrowed. But we all know that’s not often the case.

In the above mentioned article, the English professor makes an interesting point:

America, ever-idealistic, seems wary of the vocational-education track. We are not comfortable limiting anyone’s options. Telling someone that college is not for him seems harsh and classist and British, as though we were sentencing him to a life in the coal mines. I sympathize with this stance; I subscribe to the American ideal.

Sending everyone under the sun to college is a noble initiative. Academia is all for it, naturally. Industry is all for it; some companies even help with tuition costs. Government is all for it; the truly needy have lots of opportunities for financial aid. The media applauds it—try to imagine someone speaking out against the idea. To oppose such a scheme of inclusion would be positively churlish.

I’ve come to realize that Americans truly are snobs. We brag about what we have and what we have obtained. Like it or not, we are a classist society. We snub our noses at those who haven’t been to college and brag heavily about our numerous degrees as if they are badges of honor. And while graduating from college is an accomplishment, so is learning a trade.

Often, we push our kids to attend college when we know it’s not for them. Why? Because we are a society that measures success by the number of degrees hanging on a wall or the dollar signs that can be found on our bank accounts. It is noble to dream big and education is always a noble goal. But so is being a plumber, a carpenter, a cosmetologist or a civil servant like a police officer or fireman.

What’s my point? My point is that you need to know your child. If they want to go to college and have the skills and knowledge they need to be successful there, then encourage them to go. But if they aren’t interested or motivated, save yourself some heartache, disappointment and money by letting them pursue a trade. There are so many fabulous careers out there that they can do without higher education. You will be happier, they will be happier and they will fill an important role in society. College really isn’t for everyone.

Narrowing College Searches

What college do you want to go to?— one of the most stressful conversation topics you and your child will ever have. While you want your child to stay close to home, they want to get as far away as possible. While you want your child to attend a 4-year public college because it’s cheaper, your child wants to enroll in a costly private university.

Much like choosing a wife or husband, your child’s school-of-choice will ultimately have long term effects. And, like when selecting a spouse, your child not only wants for it to be a perfect match, but secretly seeks for your approval. In the end your child will pick a school that he or she feels is best suited for them, but you can play an important role in the decision process –helping your child pick a school that’ll make the both of you content.  There are more than 7,000 higher education institutions in the U.S. and filtering through all the choices can be hectic. Here are some questions to discuss with your child to narrow down the options in the hopes of finding the perfect college for your child.

  1. While your child doesn’t initially need to know exactly what they want to major in, looking into their interest is a good start. Does your child enjoy art? Writing? Technology? Are they more focused on developing technical skills?
  2. What schools are tailored to meet your child’s needs and interests?
  3. What specific programs and sequences are offered at the school?
  4. Does your child want to attend a college that is close to home or out-of-state?
  5. What type of school would your child prefer? A small intimate college or a large university? Do they prefer a public or private school?
  6. Do they prefer to attend a school with a particular religious affiliation?
  7. Is the institution accredited and by which agency?
  8. What is the student/teacher ratio?
  9. Is it coed or single sex school?
  10. Is your child interested in online courses? Does the school offer them?
  11. Does your child want to participate in a specific extracurricular activity or sport? Which ones? And does the school offer these options?
  12. What kind of living arrangements would your child prefer? Does the school offer on campus and off campus housing? Would your child rather walk to class or drive?
  13. What’s the cost of tuition? This includes room and board, textbooks and miscellaneous expenses.
  14. Does the school offer financial aid or scholarships to help cover these costs?
  15. What else is important to you and your child? Does the school meet these additional concerns?

While most school Web sites, brochures and admission officers will answer most of your questions regarding the institution, College Navigator is also another good source to scour different colleges around the country.

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This guest post is contributed by Olivia Coleman, who writes on the topics related to online colleges and universities.  She welcomes your comments at her email Id: olivia.coleman33@gmail.com.

To Greek or not to Greek

 

Recently, Smart College Visit posted an article from The Real College Guide about going Greek from a student’s perspective, listing the Pros and Cons of Greek life.  After reading it, I thought it might be interesting to look at Greek life from a parent’s perspective. Since I have personal experience in this area of college life, I wanted to share my thoughts and advice to help other parents who might be headed down that road in the future.

When my daughter began her college search process, Greek life was at the top of her MUST HAVE list. Her grandmother was a Zeta and she had always wanted to follow in her footsteps so to speak. I had my concerns (most of them related to the social aspect of Greek life), but I supported her dream and her college choice based on this criteria.

Just a month into her freshman year, rush began. Many of her new friends were interested in pledging sororities and they all attended recruitment events. When the bids arrived, my daughter was invited to pledge two sororities and picked the one that she felt fit her personality best–she felt comfortable and at ease with the members. When the months of pledging and “hell week” were over, my daughter became a member of Alpha Phi–Zeta Rho Chapter at Bentley College.

Here is my PARENT list of the pros and cons of Greek life:

Cons

  • Her grades suffered-The two months that my daughter was pledging had a devastating affect on her GPA. While the sorority claimed they required their members to study, those study sessions were late at night and unproductive. Freshman year sets the tone for your entire college career and she had to work hard to get her GPA back up after that first semester.
  • Hazing-Whether they fess up to it or not, it happens. All colleges post rules and regulations against it, but it happens. I had many arguments with my daughter about reporting the infractions, but she assured me the hazing wasn’t that bad. I never liked it and could not see the need for that type of initiation.
  • Drinking-Greek life does mean parties. And those Greek parties ALWAYS have alcohol. Drinking is encouraged and it’s a right of passage during pledging. They don’t care that your freshman is underage. The alcohol is freely distributed.
  • The clique mentality-Greek life encourages snobbery. If you’re a member of a sorority or a fraternity, you’re taught (whether directly or indirectly) that you’re better than everyone else. I never liked that attitude and it contradicted some of the values that I taught my daughter growing up.
  • The cost-Greek life will add hundreds of dollars a semester to your college expenses. The obvious costs are dues. But add to that t-shirts, out of town trips, and additional event fees that may not be included in the semester dues. If you have a daughter, you should plan to purchase dresses for numerous semi-formal and formal events throughout the year.

Pros

  • Lifetime friendships-My daughter made some great friends during college, not all in her sorority, but many were. Her “big sister” became her best friend and that relationship is still strong today. Her big sister helped her through some difficult times in college (deaths of friends and grandparents) and helped her navigate the ins and outs of Greek life.
  • Social expertise-Greek life does force you to become socially active. The events and activities enable you to become comfortable in social situations and help you learn how to meet and make new friends. You’re part of a family and this helps, especially if your family is miles away (as we were) and you need a “home” to go to.
  • Networking-Going Greek affords you tremendous networking connections during college and after graduation. Since you’re part of an alumni group, you have outside contacts that can help with your job search and give you an upper hand in the post graduation job search.
  • Leadership skills-My daughter served in numerous leadership capacities within her sorority and as part of the on-campus Greek council. She learned how to delegate, organize events, and manage finances, all while being a part of a Greek organization.
  • Charity work-All Greek organizations adopt a charity. Their members work hard to support that charity and participate in fund-raising events throughout the year. This teaches them to give back to others and it promotes a mindset that they take with them after graduation.

So here’s the big question–Am I glad that my daughter went Greek? Yes. In the long run, it was a positive experience for her. During the short term, I was frustrated with some of the negative influences and attitudes I witnessed. It was right for her, but it’s not right for everyone. If your teen has his/her heart set on Greek life, ask questions and be prepared to have some of the same mixed emotions I had.

Additional resources:

Sorority Recruitment Blog

SororityParents.com

Recent Grads Reveal College Regrets


Advice from those who have “been there and done that” is always valuable. I like talking to college students and recent graduates to find out what they might have done differently, as evidenced by a recent post on my blog written by a current student at Virginia Tech. Below are some thoughts from recent graduates whose advice can be helpful in planning for the future.

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Everyone’s college experience is different. We come from places far and near; we run in different social circles; we pursue different activities and classes and majors. No one college student can be at two, three, four places at once — not every sporting event or party or meeting or cookout. We just try to make the most of these four years and hope/wish/pray that they don’t fly by too fast.

But wouldn’t it be nice to hear what college grads have to say about their experiences? Their regrets, their proudest moments and their sage advice? We took a look back with four recent graduates:

JAIME JACKSON GILES

The 2003 Roanoke University alum recently received her master’s in education from Shenandoah University.

Biggest regret: “I wish I’d played sports.”
Giles was heavily involved in Greek life and the student-activities organization at Roanoke. “Yet I still wish I had pursued more, joined more clubs,” she says. “I played softball growing up as a kid, and I didn’t even try out for the club team when I got to college.” Giles also wishes she’d attended more sporting events. “You take a lot of the sports for granted while you’re there and then regret not going to watch more of your fellow students in action.”

Proudest accomplishment: “I let go of my fears.”
“I’ll always remember speaking at graduation,” says Giles. “It was an honor.” Of  course, she’s also proud of her master’s degree. “I think it represents how hard I’ve worked since graduating from Roanoke.”

Best advice: “Go to class!”
“Even if no one’s forcing you to, you’ve got to discipline yourself to go,” says Giles. Nevertheless, she stresses the importance of balancing work and play: “Instead of all that reading, go to a party instead because you’ll regret not going later.”

DAVID AMOS

After graduating from the University of Virginia in spring 2010, Amos is taking time off before law school.

Biggest regret: “I put things off.”
Typical traditions at UVA include streaking the famed lawn and touring Monticello, the home of founder Thomas Jefferson. “I spent too much time pushing all of those things off into an ‘I’ll do it later’ category,” says Amos. Clearly, he can still pursue those things (hopefully not the streaking) … but not as a student.

Proudest accomplishment: “I took some risks.”
Amos is most proud of getting accepted to UVA’s McIntire Commerce School (currently ranked second among undergraduate business schools), as well as running for the Commerce School presidency — even though he lost by a measly three votes. “I’m obviously not happy I lost, but I was proud of being part of the UVA student government process.”

Best advice: “Have fun!”
Enjoy the college experience while you can, says Amos: “Grades will matter for the next three years. Memories will be with you for the rest of your life.” And to all of you new UVA Cavaliers reading this, he offers a few more words of wisdom: “Hate Virginia Tech with a passion.” Kidding, of course … but not really.

LEIA VACHON

The 2008 Appalachian State grad is currently working but has dreams of becoming a missionary.

Biggest regret: “I wasted time not pursuing my passion.”
“I ended up taking part in a lot of activities during my time at App,” says Vachon. “I tried to take advantage of every day and make it exciting.” But she wishes she’d spent more time during her first years on campus doing what she wanted to do. “I pledged a sorority but then deactivated because I realized it just wasn’t for me. Then, in my last couple of years, I became really involved in the campus ministry — and loved every second of it, meeting some of my best friends.”

Proudest accomplishment: “I learned to effectively multitask.”
Balancing her various extracurriculars, keeping up a high GPA and earning her degree by double-majoring in public relations and business was quite a feat for Vachon. “I feel like I had a well-rounded, rich college experience,” she says. “I’m very proud of what I achieved — and want to use what I learned to do bigger and better things in the future.”

Best advice: “Soak up every minute of it.”
“Enjoy every new day you have! Count each one as a blessing, and try to live life to the fullest,” Vachon says. “Meet new people, take cool classes, get involved, but also take time for yourself once in a while.”

CHARLES MILLER

The 2010 University of Virginia grad is taking time off before medical school.

Biggest regret: “I did way too much.”
While many students advise making the most of your time in college, Miller might have been too involved. He was a member of a fraternity, competed as a top player on the club tennis team, conducted countless hours as a research assistant, volunteered at UVA Hospital — often late at night and on weekends. “I wish I had just focused more on the moment, on being a student,” says Miller. “It’s important not to spread yourself too thin. There are so many hassles to deal with after college that you shouldn’t be worrying about them while you’re there.”

Proudest accomplishment: “I got into med school.”
“I’m thrilled I was accepted,” says Miller. “It’s tangible proof of all the hard work I put in during my time at UVA.”

Best advice: “Do what makes you happy.”
Says Miller: “That’s the biggest piece of advice I can offer — and probably the most useful you will hear.”

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This article was written by David Replogle at The Real College Guide and  is made available to Parents Countdown to College Coach through a partnership with The Real College Guide.

IvyAlly-Helping in the admissions process

We have talked to many parents, and have heard the same problem expressed repeatedly.  A father of four whose eldest daughter had just finished her freshman year in high school explained, “I don’t know what I don’t know.” 

For some, this sentiment came from an appreciation that the application process has evolved drastically, becoming more competitive and comprehensive.  Others had not gone to college themselves and had no intimate experience to draw upon.  Still others had gone to public universities with different criteria for acceptance and were unsure if their advice would be as applicable and helpful to more selective institutions.

IvyAlly was built around the idea that no one has the insight, experience, or recollection of how to get accepted into elite universities than those students who have just crossed the chasm and are now attending the school of their dreams.

We are a community of over 40 current Ivy League students looking to help others in the admissions process.  More importantly, we are 40 individuals that demonstrate how diverse and unique the path to acceptance can be.  

Our mission is to level the playing field in the college admissions process.  Before, high school students had to rely on their own networks to receive advice.  Worse, professional services priced many families out costing hundreds to thousands of dollars.  We want to change this reality by providing affordable resources.

We have created our resources by talking to current college students and asking them what they wished they had as resources during the college application process.  We have also met with high school students for advice and feedback.  For example, we will be launching a new series titled 500 Words.  Each week, one of our Mentors will upload one of their admissions essays and film a short segment, about 5 minutes long, talking about their individual writing process, how they chose the topic, and what they like and dislike about the essay.  For more information about all of our resources, check out our site: www.ivyally.com.  

Feel free to contact me at stephanserrano@ivyally.com with any questions regarding the college application and selection process. 

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