Category Archives: college guidance

admissions, college guidance, college planning, college visits, financial aid

My Top Favs from the Top 100

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CollegeScholarships.org recently posted a list of the Top 100 Education advice blogs, of which I am proud to say my Parents Countdown to College Coach blog was #5 on the list. If you’re a parent of a college-bound teen you should take some time to peruse the list and check out the valuable information provided on each of the blogs. Bookmark the page and keep it in your favorites folder for future reference. Some of MY FAVORITES were on the list as well:

9. The Word-Nerd – “I’ve been an SAT tutor off and on for over 10 years,” writes Jenn Cohen, President & Chief Word-Nerd. “My husband, Gary and I started Word-Nerd because I wasn’t happy with what was available to my students for vocabulary prep, so we did it ourselves!  We hit a range of topics from SAT prep tips to college admissions to general rambling about the state of education, all with the aim of not taking ourselves (or college prep) too seriously.” Recommended posts: “Practical advice for choosing a college” and “What does my SAT score mean?”

23. My College Guide –  This entertaining-yet-still-educational blog advises college students on how to prepare for college. Categories include choosing a college and/or a major, college applications and interviews, or transferring to a different school. Recommended posts: “Choosing a College Major You Can Live With” and “The College Letter of Recommendation Is Not My Grandma Thinks I’m Wonderful”

48. College Blogaversity -“I write my blog to take a different twist to what everyone else in my field is saying,” explains Paul Hemphill. “The fact that I have videos with my blog makes my point. Videos are easier to do and easier to receive from the perspective of the viewer. As a result, students will more likely view my message than someone else’s who doesn’t use video.” Recommended posts: “College Double Major: Waste of Effort, Money, and Time” and “Community College – The Vital Alternative.”

73. College Admissions –  Blogger Jeannie Borin, M.Ed, has an extensive educational background having served as counselor, school administrator, admissions director, teacher and curriculum supervisor for over twenty years in both the public and private sectors. Her affiliation with the National and Western Association of College Admissions Counselors as well as the Higher Educational Consultants Association keeps her on the forefront of innovative and current trends in college admissions and education.” She is also the Founder and President of the Los Angeles based independent college counseling firm College Connections, and writes for two other blogs: College Connections and Jeannie’s FYI College Admissions Blog. Recommended posts: “Tips For The College Fair” and “What to Do When Colleges ACCEPT You.”

56. Smart College Visit – The specific goal of this blog is to help college-bound students prepare for their future campus visit. Parents could also find some helpful advice from these articles, which range from academic programs, travel tips, and how to become a successful entrepreneur. Recommended posts: “Women Entrepreneurs on College Visits – 10 Questions to Ask,” “Student-to-Student: Questions to ask on a College Visit” and “Information Overload.”

Thanks CollegeScholarships.org for compiling such a great list!

college guidance, college planning, Uncategorized

10 Tips for College Survival

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The students at Harvard will tell you that “getting in” is the hard part. But with so many freshmen, the first semester is even harder. Here are some tips that might help your college-bound teen survive and thrive.

1. Read the requirements

Graduation might be years away, but credit catastrophes begin early on. Check in with your advisor at the start of each semester to make sure you’re on track to meet the minimum.

2. Read the syllabus

Especially the part where profs break down your grade. Knowing that attendance equals 20 percent may motivate you to actually make it to class. Final exam worth 40 percent? Better crack down for that test.

3. Dress code

Wear real clothes instead of sloppy pj’s to your 8 a.m. class to let your prof know you’re serious about your studies. Bonus: It gives your brain a wake-up boost.

4. Secure your stuff

Protect your privacy, from personal IM convos to term papers, with tricky passwords that lock out access to your computer when you’re gone. And set verbal boundaries to keep your roommate away from your keys.

5. Yearn to intern?

For a fall internship, search and apply long before the leaves start changing. Do it now! For spring, apply by December. For summer, apply by March.

6. Strategize for studying abroad

Plan your schedule around a semester away, saving electives and nonmajor classes for then. Some programs even offer location-specific courses. You don’t want to miss out!

7. Network now

Professors and friends you’re meeting now could help you land your dream job later. Start a personal address book, on paper or online — it may come in handy even after graduation.

8. Stay safe after dark

When walking on or off campus at night, use the buddy system. Avoid distractions, like wearing iPods or talking on the phone, and be constantly aware of your surroundings.

9. Be your own study buddy

Test different methods of studying — from reading out loud to rewriting or even highlighting notes. Find the perfect fit and make it stick.

10. Pad your resume

Just like college admission officers, employers like well-rounded new hires. Being a fellow member on Greek row doesn’t hurt, but be sure to sign up for a variety of extracurrix.

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These Tips are from the editors at The Real College Guide. This article is made available to Parents Countdown to College Coach through a partnership with The Real College Guide.

admissions, college guidance, college planning, parenting, Uncategorized

A CollegeParent Partnership

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With all the recent talk of helicopter parents, I’ve picked up on some slight disdain from academia when it comes to parent involvement. Granted, there are some parents that would make any admissions representative pull their hair out. But I would like to think that there are so many more parents who view their role more as a coach in the process and would like to have colleges value their input. After all, when it comes right down to it, parents are generally the ones paying the bill for the student’s education.

During a recent #CampusChat on Twitter, Gil Rogers, Associate Director of Admissions and Enrollment Technology for the University of New Haven shed some light on how his college views the parent/college relationship:

We like to be a partner in a family’s college search, not just an option. We simply encourage parents to allow students to have their space and make the choice. Let the kid drive the car. We have, however, developed a number of communication tools with parents in mind. Charger Connection and the monthly eblasts that admissions sends are to prospective student’s parents. The monthly e-mail that goes to all parents we have e-mail addresses for is separate from the student’s with tips. Social Media (and any communication tool for that matter) is about building relationships.

That’s the view that parents like to hear: a partner in the family’s college search. With this view, both parent and student feel valuable; and this translates into the college providing a positive environment for making the right college choice.

University of New Haven has created an extremely helpful parent’s guide: Parents Guide to College and Financial Planning. They cover every topic that a parent needs to know about college choices and financial planning; also giving advice on how to help your student survive the first year of college. This guide communicates that partnership that Gil talked about and emanates through his social media persona.

I hope you will take a look at the University of New Haven and even view their parent’s guide. Here are the links to connect with them online:

University of New Haven

UNewHaven Facebook Page

UNewHaven Twitter Account

college guidance, college planning, Uncategorized

Lessons learned: a college student's perspective

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If I had the option to press the “reset” button that would send me back to freshman year with the knowledge that I have now about college, I would go back in a heartbeat. Needless to say, there are plenty of things I wish I knew before my freshman year of college commenced. Here are a few key ones:

I wish I knew what “time management” meant.

When I was a senior in high school, all the teachers and recent graduates would tell us that it was imperative that we understood how to manage our time; as in how to balance our social lives with our academics. I didn’t understand what they meant. It was easy enough to hang out with friends and get A’s and B’s in high school, How hard could it be in college? Hard.

Hard if you don’t find some sort of balance. It’s easy to get caught up in the social aspect of college. There are a ton of people to meet, tons of places to go, a whole bunch of activities that you can do every single day. Best thing of all is no parents. So what tends to happen is that a lot of college kids experience full “freedom” and forget that they have classes. I know I did my freshman year. I chose to go out and hang with my new friends instead of studying for an exam that week or I waited till the day before an assignment was due to start it.

Finding a balance takes time and depends on the person. It took me till the end of my sophomore year to finally figure out some sort of balance. I found that using iCal on my Mac and planning out when every single exam, project and assignment was due really helped me know when important things were coming up so I could focus on my work and hang out later. My GPA also helped motivate me because I didn’t want to be put on academic probation. Sometimes an academic kick in the butt can motivate a student to focus on their schoolwork. But you don’t want to slide that far down before changing your ways because if your GPA is low after the first year, it’s hard to bring it back up.

I wish I sampled different classes in the beginning.

I wish I had taken more random classes my first year instead of taking four science classes, one math class, and one English class. I entered Virginia Tech as a biology major and dove right into the science classes, only to find out that I hated labs halfway through the semester. Unfortunately I was caught in a bind because it was too late to drop the classes and I didn’t want to waste my withdrawal credits in the first semester. I was miserable that semester.

What I should have done was taken one science class and branched out and tried out different classes to see what I liked. I know a friend of mine was a journalism major and took an Intro to Film class during her sophomore year. She loved it so much, she changed her major to Film; based on that one single class. That happened to me as well! After my first semester, I ended up dropping my biology major, switching to undecided, then changing to Communications after taking an Intro to Communication Theory class at the end of my freshman year. Pretty big switch, but sometimes one class can do that. I encourage more college students to sample out different classes when they can. You never know what other passions you may have.

I wish I knew that there are plenty of ways to have fun without drinking.

I partied a lot during my first two years of college. Not only did it hurt my grades, but it also got me in trouble. I wish when I entered college I understood the hazards of drinking and that I could have plenty of fun without drinking. Besides the fact that underage drinking is illegal, another problem with drinking in college is that a lot of students don’t understand their limit. They’ll just keep drinking and drinking and go overboard. Some may find it funny to tell their friends how wasted they were or laugh about blacking out, but in all seriousness it’s no laughing matter. I went overboard during the start of my sophomore year and paid the consequences by being put on deferred suspension. Since that ordeal, I’ve pushed myself to limit my drinking and a lot of times I’ll opt not to drink at all. Ironically, some of the best times I had were the ones where I chose to remain sober and remember all the crazy things that happened when other people were drunk.

Some students may think that the only way to have fun is to go out, party and drink, which is not true at all. For one thing, you can always go out to a party and not drink and still have a fun time. You can also check out some of the facilities that your college provides for other forms of entertainment. Here at Tech there are plenty of ways to have fun without the need of alcohol. There’s a place on campus called the BreakZone that offers a variety of games like pool, bowling and darts. Instead of going out and drinking, sometimes I’d gather a group of friends and we’d play a couple games at the BreakZone. If bowling or pool isn’t your thing, why not organize a video game session or watch movies? There are plenty of chances to go out and party; sometimes staying in and enjoying your surroundings can be a refreshing experience.

I wish I got out of the room more.

The dorm is a great place to meet people from all sorts of places, and it’s possibly the first place where you develop some of your closets friends throughout your college career.  While meeting people in your dorm and hanging out in the dorm is nice and all, don’t forget that there exists a world outside of your dorm! I spent way too much time in my dorm, whether it was in my room or in my friend’s room. I chose to stay indoors on nice days rather than go outside and enjoy my surroundings. The one thing I love about Tech is that its campus is pretty big and there are tons of areas to explore. I remember one of my architecture friends gave me a tour of the architecture studio that was located underground. It was an eye opening experience to say the least and I knew that there was a studio somewhere on campus, but never took the time to go out and look for it on my own. After that trip I started to go out more and walk around campus the weather was nice. I figured I might as well enjoy campus while I’m still here.

I encourage students to get out of their dorms during a beautiful day and walk around their campus; after all, college only lasts for so long and who knows when your next visit will be once you graduate. Enjoy your environment and surroundings, and don’t be afraid to go out and explore!  Who knows what you’ll discover!

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This is a guest blog post by Tauhid Chappell, a junior at Virginia Tech majoring in Electronic/Print Journalism. He is the executive editor of Planet Blacksburg; a student-run, online, media organization at Tech. He aspires to be a multimedia journalist and is addicted to social media!

college guidance, college planning, parenting

That all-important college deal-breaker

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college student
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been having conversations on Twitter about the emotional aspect of choosing a college.

As a parent of two teens who headed off to college, this is no surprise. My daughter’s college deal-breaker had nothing to do with academics or college rankings. From the time she was small, she wanted to go to college in Boston. Coming from Texas, that was a bit of a surprise–especially since she had never visited Boston. But when college decision time came around, Bentley College beat out SMU because of location. My son’s college deal-breaker came when a buddy of his in the Marine Corps told him a college in Texas had “hot chicks”.

I also heard a college student say she transferred freshman year because another school had a sink in the freshmen dorm rooms. That has to be the first time I’ve ever heard that described as a college deal-breaker!

While parents are thinking academics and cost, their college-bound teens have that deal-breaker in mind. It might be Greek life, or the fact that it’s the #1 party school. But trust me, there’s a deal-breaker in the back of their head. And you might be surprised to find out what it is. All this time you thought they were looking for a college with an excellent engineering program, they really wanted a college where the girls outnumbered the boys!

What does this mean for you as a parent? Talk to your college-bound teen. Find out what their deal-breaker is and help them choose a perfect-fit college that addresses it. There’s nothing wrong with having a deal-breaker, but it’s your job to guide them to find the college that makes them happy and provides them with an education that benefits them in the future. If the college with the sink in the dorm rooms also values your teen and offers an excellent program in her chosen field of finance, you’ve found that “perfect fit” college!

college guidance, college majors, college planning

Choosing a major–now or later?

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There was some talk on #collegebound chat recently about college majors and how important they are to your chosen career path. While many students know what they want to major in from day one, a greater number haven’t a clue. My opinion–that’s what college is all about–finding your passion and trying out varied interests.

Here’s some excellent advice along this vein:

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Question: Do I have to choose my major before leaving for school or can that wait until I get settled in? I have too much to think about right now!

Answer: Of all the things weighing on you this summer, choosing a major can be crossed off the list. Many, many students enter college with no idea of what they want to study. This is largely the reason for many schools’ general education requirements, which allow you to study a bunch of things before picking what piques your interest the most. (You can often get away with dragging your feet to declare a major until the end of freshman or even the beginning of sophomore year.) If you don’t know what you want to major in, take some intro classes your first semester and knock out some of your general requirements. Then, once you choose something, take more classes in that area.

If you have already chosen a major, great! Take a class or two in your field, then use the rest of your credit hours for electives and requirements. It’s important to remember that as a freshman, you might not get all the classes you want, so have backups and realize that there’s always next semester.

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This Q&A is from Liz Cruger of  The Real College Guide. It is made available to Parents Countdown to College Coach through a partnership with The Real College Guide.

college guidance, college planning, Uncategorized

Start NOW on recommendation letter lists

If your teen is heading into their senior year in the fall, summer is the time to start thinking about that list of people who might write glowing letters of recommendations to the colleges they are aspiring to attend. Put some thought into this list and hit the ground running in the fall!

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What class did you do best in last year? Which class was your favorite? Who was your favorite teacher? Does your guidance counselor know you well? Who knows you the best (both adults and fellow students)? Who will write you the best recommendation?

These are questions to answer this summer if you are going be entering your senior year in the fall. Once you have your answers, make a list of the people who would be your best recommenders. Put some serious thought into who you will ask because these letters are important!

After identifying these top recommenders, ask them if they can write you a strong letter of recommendation. Teachers will greatly appreciate having time to work on your letters. So hit the ground running in the fall before they are drowning in recommendation requests on top of lesson plans and other school-related activities. Get a leg up by approaching them EARLY!

If you remember particular instances where you demonstrated your creativity, intelligence, responsibility, or other impressive qualities, don’t be shy about reminding your recommenders about them. You can even provide a list of things you think your recommenders might want to cover in their letters. The best letters tell stories, and you probably remember those stories better than anyone else!

Examples of things you might want to share with your recommenders:

  • A list of your activities and accomplishments
  • Copies of your best papers in the recommender’s class
  • Copies of your creative writing
  • Notes about particular contributions you made in class
  • Your transcript
  • Your student resume (yes you should have one!)

Any and all help you can give your recommenders, whether it’s giving them plenty of time or helping them with material to put in their letters, will be appreciated and will make for a stellar letter of recommendation!

The benefit to you, besides that you’ll have great recommendation letters, is that when December rolls around, you won’t be biting your nails worrying whether your letters will be in by deadline.

That’s worth a bit of thought and action right now, isn’t it?

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This post was written by Brenda Bernstein, a graduate of Yale University and the New York University School of Law. She has been helping students get into college, grad school and law school for over ten years and is proud to offer college admissions assistance to students through her company, The Essay Expert.  Brenda practiced public interest law for ten years in New York City and knew early on that her calling was in student advising, not legal practice.  She is now a J.D. Career Advisor at the University of Wisconsin Law School Office of Career Services, as well as a writing coach and owner of The Essay Expert. Brenda is also trained as a life coach by the Coaches Training Institute.

Brenda’s company and consultants have helped students gain admission to top schools throughout the nation, including:  Yale, Harvard, Brown, Columbia, NYU, U Penn, Oberlin, Carleton, Northwestern, Georgetown, U of Miami, and UCLA.

college guidance, college planning, financial aid, parenting, Uncategorized

Being realistic about college debt

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It’s been in the news lately and it came up in a #CollegeBound chat yesterday: graduating with too much student loan debt. I wanted to lend my voice to the topic today and give parents something to think about and use in the future.

As I have said previously, I have a unique perspective in the college admissions process. As a parent, I’ve experienced all the frustration first-hand: the decisions about choices, the dilemma over financing, and the anxiety related to waiting for the final decisions. Something I haven’t talked about is how to handle making the final college choice when the acceptance letters and financial aid packages arrive. This can make a difference in the amount of debt your child graduates with and how it affects their life after college. Especially if you are unable to contribute to financing that education.

Case in point: my daughter’s decision to attend her “plan B or 2nd choice” college. After being accepted to her 1st choice/reach school, we waited for the financial aid award to arrive. In the meantime, awards from the other colleges she had applied to filtered in. She was offered a full-ride scholarship at one school, 80% of her financial need was met at two of the other colleges with grants and scholarships, and some small grants and loans from the rest of her college choices. Her 1st choice college met 0% of her financial need. Her heart was broken.

Here is where parenting comes into play. She wanted to attend her 1st choice college–her heart was set on it. She had been dreaming of it her whole life and any other option was out of the question. But, in order to attend, it would require financing the expensive education with loans (student and parent). While every fiber in me wanted to say YES, my common sense knew it would be a financial disaster. I sat her down, explained why she couldn’t go to her dream college, and she listened (while crying, of course). It might have broken both our hearts at the time, but it was the BEST decision for her in the long run.

To make a long story short, she fell in love with her Plan B college. It was smaller and offered a much better environment for her academically and socially. Most importantly, the college WANTED HER; as evidenced by their willingness to give her financial aid. They valued her contribution to the student body and from the moment she set foot on campus, she felt wanted. But the real payoff came when she graduated with only a small amount of college debt, being able to easily pay back the consolidated loans. Had she attended her 1st choice college, she would have graduated with close to $100,000 in debt, burdening her for years.

The bottom line:

  • Make wise financial choices about student loan debt.
  • Evaluate the financial aid packages and always consider the BEST offer.
  • Even if it’s disappointing for your child, you MUST be a parent and explain the consequences of graduating with too much college debt.
  • Disappointments are much easier to deal with than being saddled with debt after graduation.

If you liked this article, you might also like:

Choices. Choices. Choices.

Checking the “no financial aid needed” box

admissions, college guidance, college planning

Top 10 Questions parents ask about college

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Over the years, parents have cornered me and asked me questions about the college admissions process and their college-bound teens. While those questions are varied, and sometimes specific as they relate to their own circumstances, here is my list of the Top 10 most asked questions:

  1. What can I do to help my “average” student stand out and get accepted to college?–The good news is that the admissions application is not all about grades. They look at the overall picture: grades, SAT scores, essay, student resume, and interviews. There will always be a college that recognizes value and potential. Grades are important, but they aren’t the ONLY way to sell yourself.
  2. Should I fill out the FAFSA even though I think we make too much money to qualify for financial aid?–YES. YES. YES. The FAFSA is what colleges use to determine your EFC (Expected Family Contribution) which is used to determine the financial aid package. This package is NOT just federal aid. It’s composed of grants, scholarships and loans (much of which is merit-aid directly from the colleges themselves). If you don’t fill it out, your teen can’t get ANY of that money.
  3. My teen isn’t motivated to make good grades, how can I motivate him/her to try harder?–They need to be invested in the process. If they want to go to college, grades are part of the process. Encourage them to talk with current college students (they can do this online) or consider finding them a mentor–someone who can motivate them to do their best. Nagging won’t work. Punishment won’t work. Reward and encouragement from you and others will produce much better results.
  4. Is it really worth spending hours and hours of time looking for scholarships?–Yes and no. A large portion of scholarships/grants come from the colleges themselves. But, there are also thousands of other scholarships available to college-bound teens. It’s worth registering on some scholarship sites and applying to those that are a good fit. You can also use the College Potential Calculator for some help. Don’t neglect LOCAL scholarships–these are often the easiest to win.
  5. We can’t afford to pay for college, does that mean our teen won’t be able to go?–There are all kinds of ways to finance a college education: student loans, work-study, college grants and scholarships. Everyone qualifies for parent and student loans. But be wise about your borrowing and consider the best options. Paul Hemphill with Pre College Prep has come up with a GREAT way to attend college on the cheap!
  6. How many colleges do you think my teen should apply to?–Here’s a good formula: 2 reach colleges (colleges that might be a reach but still attainable), 3 good fit colleges (colleges that are a good match for the student), 2 safety colleges (colleges that the student will be at the top of the applicant pool). Having choices also means the colleges are in competition, which translates into negotiation for you with the financial aid package.
  7. What’s the most important tip you could give me about the college admissions process?–Find those “perfect fit” colleges. Do the research and evaluate choices based on student body, academic programs, college visits, location and financial aid awards. If the college is a good fit, they will value the student for his/her contribution to the student body. Those are the colleges you want in your application pool.
  8. My son/daughter has just been wait-listed; what should we do?–Be proactive. Send a letter to the college and let them know how much you want to attend. If there is more information you can provide that didn’t make the application, send that as well. Let them know that, if given the chance, you WILL attend.
  9. My teen’s SAT scores aren’t that great; will it affect their admissions chances?–The bottom line is that most colleges do look at those SAT scores. But, it’s just part of the overall picture. The best advice I can give is MAKE CONTACT with an admissions representative from EVERY college your teen is applying to. This PERSONAL contact can and will make a difference when the admissions application is reviewed. Do this by visiting and making an appointment to speak with them. Then hang on to their card and stay in contact until acceptance letters arrive.
  10. My teen is so scatter-brained and we keep missing deadlines–how can I help them get organized?–Set up a landing zone for college material. Use a desk, a file cabinet, a bulletin board, and a wall calendar to keep track of deadlines. Start this freshman year and remind them that their floor is NOT the landing zone. Once they get used to bringing everything to that one spot, it will be easier to find, file and locate all the college related materials.

If you liked this article, you might also like:

Finding the perfect “fit” (for college)

Motivating an underachiever towards college

Top 10 Do’s and Don’ts of Parenting a College-Bound Teen

college guidance, college planning, parenting

Can that long-distance relationship survive?



Today’s guest post from The Real College Guide editors gives some positive input on the pros and cons of long-distance relationships. My daughter ended her senior year of high school “in love” and even questioned going off to college. Under my STRONG advice, she did go away and eventually they grew apart. Neither was ready for a serious relationship and in the long run, it was best for both of them. If your c0llege-bound teen is facing this issue, this article should help make the right decision.

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Prep yourself for the separation — and “the talk” — with a plan to leave your relationship when you leave for school.

I have to start this article with a confession: I was the kid who broke up with his high school girlfriend before taking off for college, and no, it was not my most sensitive, sterling moment. In fact, the sting stuck around even after I settled into college life, when it finally hit me: I didn’t want our relationship to end. I was pretty fortunate that my ex-girlfriend agreed to reconcile, but unfortunately, not everyone is so lucky.

So, before making any sudden adjustments to your Facebook status, take some time to consider your options — and we’re not talking about the many ready-to-mingle singles on campus. Whether you’re leaning toward staying together, breaking it off or testing the waters of an open relationship, here’s what you need to know before “the talk”:

Keep It Together
Last season on MTV’s “The City,” fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg doled out this gem to the reality show’s star Whitney Port: “Absence is to love what the wind is to fire. When it’s a small fire, the wind kills it. But when it’s a real fire, it intensifies it.” True?

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder for a while, but if it keeps up, the emotional distance grows,” says Mira Kirshenbaum, author of When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts and Minds of People in Two Relationships. “Love is about intimacy, connection, the experience of the other’s voice and smell and touch. The kind of lifestyle in which couples don’t have time for each other is an anti-intimacy machine.”

Staying in touch–Tools like Google Talk, video chat, email and texting make it convenient to bridge the distance in your relationship. (FYI: My girlfriend and I set time aside every day, even if it’s just a few minutes, to talk on the phone or face-to-face via Skype, and it works for us.) The key is to first commit to making the effort. Then, work to strike a balance between staying involved in each other’s lives and smothering each other. And no, we’re not saying this is easy.

Seeing each other –Finding time — and money — to meet in person is a challenge, especially without a car. Like many long-distance college relationships, mine began in high school, so there’s the benefit of visiting at home during breaks. If you don’t share a hometown, you’ll need to take turns visiting each other at school. Advance planning goes a long way in strengthening your relationship by giving you something to look forward to. And remember: Even in the middle of nowhere, when there’s a will there’s a way — it’s called public transportation.

Bigger issues– Besides maintaining contact while apart, the biggest challenge is retaining trust. Temptation is inevitable when you are on your own and living in a bubble filled with kids your age. “The best predictors of infidelity are opportunity and unhappiness, and this is what is created when one partner is away,” says Kirshenbaum. “If one of you discovers the other has cheated, this is the relationship equivalent of someone having a coronary. But the best antidote to suspicions that something might be going on is to spend time together, be more intimate and continually try to make your relationship better.” Easier said than done, right? Which is why some people opt for …

The Open Relationship
College students have wildly varying perspectives when it comes to arrangements in which couples, though in a primary relationship, are free to date others. Those in open relationships often struggle with jealousy and insecurity, but it can be a temporary solution that won’t leave either of you feeling confined — or heartbroken from a full-on breakup.

“It’s perfectly natural to explore the boundaries of fidelity in a new environment with new people,” says Harvard sophomore Chase Carpenter. “I think open relationships can be difficult and vague, but if both parties are trusting and relaxed, they can be fantastic.”

Peers on pros –College of Charleston sophomore Alex Crowley identifies what she sees as a benefit: “It’s nice to be able to talk to someone like you’re in a relationship even though there might not be a full commitment.”

Peers on cons– “I’ve never met someone who’s been in [an open relationship], but it sounds like a load of crap,” says Georgetown University junior Molly Redden. “You’re either with someone or you’re not. Getting back together when you’re at home doesn’t count as a relationship. Even if you talk every day, if you’re casually seeing or sleeping with other people, I don’t see how you’re still dating the guy back home.”

So, enter an open relationship with caution, unless you choose to …

Break It off
In some instances, it may be appropriate to break things off. If you and your significant other will be hundreds of miles apart and unable to visit for extended periods of time, let’s be real: Attempting to sustain a healthy relationship is borderline unrealistic. Maybe you want to be free to have the total college experience, and for you, that includes the prospect of hooking up. Or perhaps after trying the long-distance thing, you realize it’s just not working out the way you’d planned.

Dealing with it –Breaking up is never easy. Even if you know it’s the right decision, expect emotions of grief and loss. “Don’t mistake grief for love,” Susan J. Elliott, author of Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss Into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You, warns on her blog (search: Getting Past Your Past). “It’s normal to grieve. Don’t let grief cause you to second-guess your feelings.”

Distancing yourself –Elliott recommends a no-contact rule. “Even if you still love him or her, you don’t have to act on it,” she advises. “Grief is a hard process, and often, contact will seem like it temporarily alleviates the pain. But it just postpones the inevitable.”