Category Archives: college guidance

admissions, college guidance, college planning, social networks

Upcoming Twitter #Chats

Since my readers are all about gathering the BEST college information, you might like to know about some upcoming Twitter chats. College-related chats are popping up on Twitter and it’s a great place to chat with some experts and ask those questions that you’ve been dying to have answered.

Here is a list of upcoming chats:

#CollegeBound

Monday, May 24 at 4:00 p.m. EST #CollegeBound events will offer higher education administrators, college media, education experts, and others a unique hour to connect with and engage potential and incoming students. The first #CollegeBound chat, “Preparing for College,” will provide potential students of all ages with an inside look at the college research process, including how to navigate the plethora of available information, make a school decision that’s right for them, and get their school questions answered. The CollegeBound Network’s blog, “U. Got It?”, features more information on the event.

#CampusChat

#CampusChat is an online higher-ed conversation that takes place on Twitter hosted by Z. Kelly Queijo, founder of SmartCollegeVisit. Topics center around college visits, college admissions, and aspects related to life as a college student. This week’s upcoming chat Wednesday, May 26 at 9PM ET features @EricYaverbaum, author of  Life’s Little College Admissions Insights.

#CollegeChat

Bestselling author and higher-education journalist Lynn O’Shaughnessy will share tips from her new book “Shrinking the Cost of College: 152 Ways to Cut the Price of a Bachelor’s Degree” during the first edition of #CollegeChat on Twitter on June 1, 2010 at 6 pm Pacific. During the live Twitter chat, Lynn will discuss how to become a smart consumer in cutting the cost of college and will describe how the college financial aid process works and where to find the money.

I’m looking forward to seeing you at these chats and to participating in the lively discussions. Mark your calendars!

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For more information about how to use these tools or how to keep up with or follow a chat, read Z. Kelly Queijo, founder of SmartCollegeVisit‘s  blog post on Handshake 2.0: 3 Easy Ways to Keep in Step with a Twitter Chat

college guidance, college planning, parenting

Top 10 Do’s and Don’ts of parenting a college-bound teen

 

Last night, I watched a new popular sitcom called, “The Middle”. This show, while being extreme, personifies the trials and tribulations of parenting (especially teenagers). The teenage son is under-motivated and the teenage daughter is over-motivated. The parents are frustrated and at times complacent. These two teenage extremes pose a parenting dilemma: How do you find the balance?

I’ve written often about Helicopter Parents and even had a guest blogger, Chip Timmons, an Assistant Admissions Director,  give his Top 5 Helicopter Parent Stories . Even though perfect parenting does not exist, it is possible to take the BEST and the WORST examples of parenting a college-bound teen and learn from them.

On that note, I’ve come up with my TOP 10 Do’s and Don’ts of parenting a college-bound teen:

  1. Do encourage them. This is #1 because it is the most important tip of all. Teenagers who are headed to college need to know you believe in them and in their dreams. They need to feel your love and support. They need to know that you will always be there cheering for them, even if at times they don’t believe they can succeed.
  2. Don’t nag. Nagging never helps motivate a teenager. My rule was to tell my teenagers what was expected of them and allow them to own their own actions. There are so many tasks and deadlines related to the college admissions process. You can remind them without constantly nagging them. Helping them to stay organized will go a long way in helping you to avoid becoming a nag.
  3. Do step in when they ask for help. The college admissions process can be overwhelming. It’s unfair to expect them to handle everything alone. There are times when they will need your help and you will have to step in and parent.
  4. Don’t plow them down in an effort to help. Parents who take over are not helping their teens. They only hinder their success and enable them to become more dependent instead of independent. (That means: don’t do it for them, but it’s ok to offer your help.)
  5. Do listen. Pay attention to what your college-bound teen wants and needs. In order to do this, you must listen to them talk. It doesn’t have to be a regular sit-down either. Just listen during normal conversation to and from school, while they are getting ready for a date, or during family dinner time.
  6. Don’t speak for them. Believe it or not, they have an opinion. Many times, it’s an intelligent one and one that others want to hear. When your teen is asked a question of a counselor, tour guide, admissions officer, teacher or a college representative PLEASE let your teen answer for themselves.
  7. Do offer your advice. Advice is different from nagging. Advice helps your teen learn from your experience. Giving advice comes easily for parents, and it’s something our college-bound teens need to hear.
  8. Don’t expect them to make choices based on your likes and dislikes. When you give advice or opinions, many times your teen won’t choose or act as you expected. But that’s ok. Not all of their choices will be the best ones. And some of their choices, while not yours, will be what’s best for your teen.
  9. Do be a “present” parent. Parents tend to become less involved as their kids get older. If there was ever a time to be MORE involved, it’s during the teen years and the college admissions process.
  10. Don’t disappear from their lives just because they are in high school. Go to parent conferences. Attend high school events. Get involved in parent booster clubs. Participate in their lives. Travel with them to college visits and college fairs.

If you like this article, you might also like:

Being a Parent College Coach-The 3 C’s

Preparing your teen for college: It’s all about guiding, not doing

10 Concepts your teen should learn BEFORE college

college guidance, college planning, parenting

Top 5 Helicopter Parent Stories

6 Comments

 

helicopter parents
photo by Michael Elins-Newsweek May 22, 2006

I made contact with Chip on Twitter last week when he retweeted a “helicopter parent” tip that I had given during a recent #CampusChat. Chip Timmons is the Associate Director of Admissions at Wabash College and I asked him if he had some “helicopter parent” stories he would like to share with my readers. He graciously agreed.

Greetings parents!

Let me begin with the following.  In all honesty, I really don’t mind “helicopter parents”.  I understand they’re heavily invested in their children’s college decision, but here’s where I think they need to draw the line. I’ll share what I believe is the best analogy I’ve used when talking with parents.

If you wish to hover over your student while he or she is in the water, that’s fine.  Let them learn how to sink or swim.  Allow them to float or drift.  You only need to lower the lifeline if your son or daughter is drowning.

Here are my Top 5 (plus 1 honorable mention) examples of “helicopter parenting” that I’ve encountered during my admissions career.

Honorable mention: One move-in day a few years ago, a father asked me who was responsible for making sure his son got to his church every Sunday.  Before I could answer (my reply would have been “that’s your son’s responsibility”), the dad felt the need to clarify that he meant his church, in his hometown, some 90 minutes away from campus.

5. Over our two-day Honor Scholarship competition, a mother drove 3+ hours to campus on the morning of day two to have a calculus/physics cram session with her son.  They met off campus at a local coffee house and I happened to find them while grabbing my morning coffee on the way to the office.  I will never forget the looks on their faces.  You would have thought I was a police officer who walked in on a bank robbery.

4. A mother was concerned about the quality of the laundry facilities on campus.  She wondered if we were equipped to wash the specific type of workout/athletic apparel her son preferred to wear.  Her son is a distance runner.

3. Speaking of sports…I coach my son’s 5-6 year old baseball team.  Parents will sometimes ask why “Junior” isn’t playing a certain position or why he bats #9 in lineup.  At that age, that stuff happens.  It’s pathetic, but it happens.  In high school, parents should not expect to “have the coach’s ear” or feel like they have a right to lobby for increased playing time for their son or daughter.  Some parents will be heard and get their wish, but I still feel it’s pathetic.  In college, there’s absolutely no place for that.  A parent once wrote to me saying “I’ve called and written to Coach Soandso to find out why “Junior” isn’t on the varsity, but Coach Soandso won’t get back to me.”  My response was “Don’t expect a reply from Coach and do “Junior” favor.  Stop it.  If “Junior” is good enough to play on the varsity, he’ll prove it with his play.  Are you going to call his boss in 5 years and ask why “Junior” didn’t get a promotion?”

2. How about when it’s the girlfriend’s helicopter parents getting in the way?  A student informed our office that after a conversation with his girlfriend’s parents, he decided to live at home and attend the State University.  His girlfriend’s parents didn’t like the idea of her driving at night or that far to visit him on the weekends. I’ve said this before “boyfriend isn’t a paying gig and it doesn’t go on your resume.”

1. My #1 isn’t a parent I worked with, but someone I know personally.  The daughter attended college in a neighboring state.  Said college had live video feeds from different parts of campus.  My friend knew his daughter’s class schedule and the route she took to classes each day.  He would check the video feeds to watch his daughter go to class and leave class EVERY day for EVERY class that brought her in range of the cameras. If she missed class or he didn’t see her on the feed, he made a call or sent an email.  He proudly shared this tale with me and you could have knocked me over with a feather.

I’ve listed what I consider extreme examples and one-time incidents of “helicopter parenting”, but in my opinion, even seemingly minor “fly-overs” can hinder the college search process for your son or daughter. When you attend a college fair or visit a campus, allow the student to do most of the talking.  By far, the most frustrating experience for me is looking a student in the eye, asking him (Wabash is a men’s college) a question, and hearing a parent answer.

My parting advice: If that little voice in your head is asking the question “am I being a helicopter parent?”, you don’t need to wait for an answer.  If you’re asking that question, you have your answer.

Follow Chip on Twitter @ChipTimmons

Wabash College is featured in Loren Pope’s Colleges That Change Lives

admissions, college guidance, college planning, parenting

This week's #CampusChat on Twitter

Last week, several parents joined us for the FIRST #CampusChat on Twitter. This week, I’m the scheduled guest hosted by @collegevisit (Smart College Visit). Here’s all the info and I would LOVE to have you join us.

Hot Topic: When & How to begin the College Admissions Process

Curious about the College Admissions Process? When should it begin and how to stay on top of all the info?

Find out at #CampusChat on Twitter, Wednesday night, May 12 at 9 p.m. ET, 8 p.m. CT.

Our guest this week is Suzanne Shaffer, @SuzanneShaffer, founder of Parents Countdown to College Coach. She’s a parent who successfully completed the process and coaches other parents to do the same!

Who should attend?

College-bound teens and their parents, college admissions officers, counselors and anyone interested in contributing to the topic about when the college admissions should begin are invited to join the conversation.

Plus, there’s a Give-Away!

One lucky participant will win:

Organization: The Key to a Successful College Admissions Process – This CD provides parents and teens with a suggested filing system, along with templates and forms to help with the organization process.

A winner will be selected from the list of Twitter participants (those who contribute to the conversation).

college guidance, college planning

The College Search: Here's Where to Look

Today’s guest blog post is by Lynn O’Shaughnessy,  an author, a college blogger and speaker. She writes about college strategies for
TheCollegeSolutionBlog and CBSMoneyWatch.
She gives presentations about college strategies for schools, companies and financial advisory firms.  Lynn wrote The College Solution, which is an Amazon.com bestseller. The College Solution includes countless tips on college admissions, SAT/ACT strategies, college scholarships, financial aid and much more.

Where do you find a great college?

I hear that question all the time.

You can pour through the big fat college guides from folks like the Princeton Review and Fiske, but frankly they ignore most schools. For instance, Princeton Review’s latest guide covers 371 schools, but there are more than 2,200 four-year colleges and universities in this country.

What I’m going to quickly share with you today is one valuable resource, America’s Best Colleges from Forbes Magazine, that people can use to find hidden educational gems in their own regions.

The rankings created by Forbes and the nonprofit Center for College Affordability and Productivity include many colleges that the guidebooks don’t cover.

What I find especially helpful for teenagers searching for colleges is that the college rankings are also broken down by four regions – Northeast, Midwest, South and West.  A lot parents don’t want their teens going to college too far from home, but often they don’t know what schools exist beyond the public institutions in their own state.

This week, I sent the Midwest college list to my niece who lives in St. Louis and the Western list to my nephew who lives in the San Francisco Bay area.

The Western list includes instantly recognizable schools like Cal Tech and Stanford, but other highly ranked institutions include College of Idaho, George Fox University and St. Mary’s College of California. The latter two were ranked higher than UCLA or Berkeley. The Midwestern list includes such overlooked jewels as Doane College in Nebraska, College of Wooster in Ohio and Earlham College in Indiana.

You can learn more about Forbes’ list by reading a blog post that I wrote for CBSMoneyWatch entitled, The Best Colleges You’ve Never Heard Of.

I hope the Forbes’ rankings inspire you to look beyond the most obvious spots for great colleges. To find the best academic and financial fits today, families need to be casting much wider nets.

If you liked this article, you might like:

Choices. Choices. Choices.

Finding the perfect “fit” (for college)

Exploring Community College Options

college guidance, parenting, Uncategorized

The #1 Party School Crown

This year the Princeton Review named Penn State the #1 Party School. Last year it was University of Florida. I remember when my daughter was headed off to college, Southwest Texas State University (now Texas State) claimed the title. Does that mean that the schools that aren’t rated don’t party? Of course not. It means that the students who were polled online gave responses that garnered them that title. They wear it proudly. However sobering that thought may be, it’s a reality.

This American Life did an interesting series of podcasts about the college drinking culture. As a parent, it was an eye opener. Don’t get me wrong, I know that both my kids drank in college. I was not naive to think they would avoid alcohol for four years. But listening to this podcast definitely raises some serious questions regarding college drinking and its affect on our young college students.

Here are a few questions you might want to ask yourself before your teen heads off to college:

  1. Would you let your teen go to the #1 Party School (or even one that was ranked)?
  2. How concerned are you about college binge drinking?
  3. Do you think drinking is a rite of passage for college students?
  4. How can you discourage your teen from overindulging in alcohol while in college?
  5. Considering that a large portion of college drinking happens at frat parties, would you discourage involvement in Greek life?
  6. Does your daughter understand that drinking often leads to hooking up that she might regret later?
  7. Would drinking and the affect it has on college students make you think twice about allowing them to live in a dorm or even leave home for college?
  8. How can you impress the importance of a college education when the college culture revolves around beer bongs, frat parties, and binge drinking?
  9. Knowing that drinking causes negative consequences, how can you teach your teen to make the right choices before they are on their own and being influenced by their peers?
  10. Is the value of a college education devalued because of the college drinking culture?

Head over to This American Life where you can stream the broadcast for free or download it for $.99. The interviews cover conversations with Penn State students, people in the surrounding neighborhood, officers, and establishments in the area. You will hear students talk about their drinking escapades and girls talking about the behavior drinking induces. You will listen to guys talk about inducing a drunken state in the hopes of getting the girl into bed.

It’s eye-opening and a bit disturbing. But, as a parent, you need to know about the culture so you can help prepare your teen. You should talk about drinking and prepare them for the inevitable onslaught of peer pressure to drink. If your teen is headed off to college in the fall, listen to this podcast with them and use it to open the discussion.

admissions, college guidance, college planning

Campus Chat on Twitter

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Smart College Visit is hosting a chat on Twitter this Wednesday and it should be great advice and information for parents of college-bound teens. Here are the details from their website:

On Wednesday evening at 9 PM, Eastern, May 5, SmartCollegeVisit will host #CampusChat on Twitter.

#CampusChat is the hashtag phrase we’ve defined in Twitter-speak to track discussions related to college-bound students and their families.

#CampusChat is hosted and moderated by @CollegeVisit.

With the May 1 Candidate’s Reply Date having just passed, Wednesday’s #CampusChat welcomes three parents with teens who just accepted offers of admission as featured guests. The parents will talk about the college decision-making process for them and their children.

Any parents, teens, college admissions officers, counselors and anyone who is interested and passionate about college admissions are invited to join the conversation.

Here’s how:

Follow SmartCollegeVisit on Twitter, @collegevisit.

On Wednesday night, May 5, at 9 PM, Eastern, track the hashtag: #CampusChat using tools such as TweetChat or WhatTheHashtag. For more information about how to use these tools or how to keep up with or follow a chat, read: 3 Easy Ways to Keep in Step with a Twitter Chat.

I’m looking forward to participating in this chat–SEE YOU THERE!

college guidance, college planning, test prep

Knewton SAT Prep

2 Comments

Recently I received a tour of Knewton’s SAT Prep portal online. I have to admit, I was skeptical. Based on personal SAT prep courses with my daughter, I always felt those type courses were too expensive and didn’t significantly improve her SAT scores like they promised.

However, I was pleasantly surprised with Knewton’s services. Here’s why I liked them:

  • The parents have access to the student’s progress and receive a weekly email report outlining what the student has done
  • It’s a 1-year membership allowing 24/7 access to all their resources
  • It’s flexible as far as addressing everyone’s time constraints–live and on demand
  • It evaluates the student’s progress and analyzes their strengths and weaknesses
  • Affordability

A student can take the practice tests from the College Board’s blue book and input their answers online at Knewton. The tests are then graded allowing the system to recommend a study regimen after evaluating the student’s strengths and weaknesses. They read and grade the essays and give the student feedback.

The student will attend 10 sessions with 2 lessons per session. They can review the material ahead of time if needed and they can watch the class session on demand while stopping, fast forwarding and rewinding. If they can’t make a specific class, they can chose a more convenient time and attend another session.

Knewton also offers a money-back GUARANTEE if your student does not receive a 150 point jump in their overall SAT score after completing their online classes.

Knewton is offering a $200 price reduction off their $490 fee, making the 1-year membership only $290. Just enter the code: SUMMER200 at checkout. This code expires on June 30th so don’t delay! Plus, anyone can have a 14-day FREE TRIAL which includes jumping in on live classes. Based on other SAT prep courses, that’s a bargain in my book!

Here are some screen shots of the program:

Email Update

Student’s My Work Page

Parent Progress Report


college guidance, college planning, parenting, Uncategorized

U Chic: A must-read for college-bound girls

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Sugar and spice and everything nice, that’s what little girls are made of! And now your little girl is headed off to college armed with her favorite pair of shoes, her newly purchased collegiate sweatshirt and a heart full to dreams. U Chic: The College Girl’s Guide to Everything, by Christie Garton, should accompany her as well.

Christie Garton says, “I wanted to create a place where college women could ocme together to find support and advice during one of the most important times of a girl’s life…contributors with a diverse range of experience.” Tracy Won Briggs, former coordinator of USA Today’s All-USA Acacemic and Teacher Teams says, “From the sisterhood of girlfriends who’ve been there, U Chic answers everything a college girl really wants to know.”

I found this book more than helpful: it was inspiring. The women who contributed (from different colleges throughout the country) did so to exhort, encourage, instruct and inspire those who would come after them; thus leaving a legacy for future generations. It is a collection of advice from women about college life and the struggles and victories along the way.

Your college-bound daughter will find information related to arriving on campus, dealing with her fashionista wardrobe, Greek life, surviving temptation, love life, getting involved, budgeting, taking advantage of the college perks, and what to do after graduation. I especially enjoyed the chapter on healthy and happy living because I felt it addressed some sensitive issues related to eating disorders and weight. The contributors also adequately addressed questions regarding Greek life as it relates to girls and temptations they will face while in college. On a lighter note, there is a chapter entitled Blirting 101: socializing via Blackberry.

After reading this book (and happily reminiscing about my daughter’s college experiences), I wished she would have had this to read the summer before she headed off to college. If your daughter is in this category, get her a copy to read and take with her next fall. If you know a girl who is graduating next month, this would make an excellent graduation gift.

After reading this book, I would have to agree with Christie when she says, “there has not been a generation of college women hungrier for success, yet also more generous with their time and energy to assist those less fortunate. They are not just students at their respective schools, but students of the world–open-minded, openhearted, and open to what the future holds for them.”

college guidance, college news, parenting, Uncategorized

Top 10 Things every parent should know about “hooking up” in college

 

A recent article on CNN.com addressed the issue of hooking up and not hooking up on college campuses. While it’s not a subject that parents like to discuss, it is a reality. I know when my naïve 18 year old daughter headed off to college, it was one of my biggest fears. Knowing what it means, how to address it and what to do if it happens should help ease your mind a bit.

Here’s my Top 10 list of things every parent should know:

1. What is hooking up?

The term “hook up” is vague, but is usually defined as a no-commitment, physical encounter with a stranger or acquaintance. Hooking up can range from just a casual get-together to a make out session to sexual intercourse. Knowing this makes it difficult to discern just what it means when your college student tells you they “hooked up” with so and so.

2. Hooking up is today’s alternative to dating.

When we were in school, everyone dated. That meant going to the movies, out for pizza, and spending time together getting to know one another. In today’s culture, hooking up often precedes the dating.

3. Hooking up IS happening on campus.

According to the article on CNN.com, “various academic studies have cited at least 75 percent of women have engaged in hooking up on campus, and the number is usually higher for men.”  If your college-bound teen enters that culture, they are going to be confronted with this type of behavior.

4. Hooking up is every parent’s nightmare.

Yes. It brings terror into our hearts to think that our sweet little child would even consider hooking up with an absolute stranger. But the unfortunate reality is that it does happen and it’s your job as a parent to be informed and help your college-bound teen to be prepared.

5. Not EVERY college student is doing it.

This knowledge will help you in talking with your teen about his or her options. Many college campuses have groups that exist to offer alternatives to hooking up and give students the power to say no to that culture. (Check out the Love and Fidelity Network)

6. You need to have the sex talk with your college bound teen BEFORE they leave for college.

This means you need to open up the dialogue about hooking up, what it means, and the fact that they have choices. You are the most powerful influence on your child and now is the time to get them the information they need before they leave home. They may act like they aren’t listening, but they are. Look for opportunities to discuss the risks of hooking up and the alternatives.

7. Denial is NOT an option.

Hiding your head in the sand is not the way to address this issue. It’s your job as a Parent College Coach to accept the reality of this culture and prepare your teen for his or her first hooking up encounter on campus. When it happens (and it will) it won’t blind side them, giving them with options.

8. Peer pressure is a HUGE factor.

Peer pressure in college can be even greater than in high school. Your child is alone, surrounded by all types of behavior. You aren’t there to pull in the reins and they are free to go in any direction they choose. The hook up culture can be hard to avoid; and if your college student decides to go Greek, the pressure intensifies.

9. Hooking up is most often precipitated by alcohol.

The drinking culture on college campuses drives the hook up culture. Young, naïve students get drunk and lose control of their emotions. Hooking up becomes easier and it provides opportunities for your college student to be coerced into something they might not necessarily choose when sober.

10. It’s a choice your college-bound teen will make.

Your child will have the power to choose. They can choose to hook up or choose not to. They are free to make that choice and it’s a choice that they will be confronted with when they go off to college. Arming them with the knowledge of how to respond to this choice allows them to protect themselves.

Parenting, on the best day, is hard. It’s hard to let go. It’s hard to trust. It’s hard to believe that the child we raised has become independent and knows what they need to know to survive in the world. But it’s our goal as parents to provide them with the knowledge and the tools they need to survive.

Further reading:

No Hooking Up, No Sex for some Coeds

The Sociology of Hooking Up

Hook-Up Survey Presented at Sociology Conference

The hookup culture: Having casual relationships is the new dating