When my daughter applied to college, she knew she wanted to make
the move from Texas to an eastern college. She wanted to live in or near a
large city and she applied and was accepted to colleges in New York City and
Boston. Coming from a small city, I feared New York might be overwhelming since
she was traveling thousands of miles from home and was barely 18. But Boston
offered the next best things—a suburban college near an urban environment.
Bentley College (now Bentley University) was the perfect option. It was nestled in a small community, Waltham, Massachusetts; but it was close enough to Boston to make it feel like she was attending an urban college. The mass transportation available made it easy for her to take advantage of all the culture and entertainment available without feeling swallowed up by the big city.
Suburban colleges offer some qualities of both urban and
rural schools, and might be the best choice for your student.
What is a suburban college environment?
Suburban colleges give students more options for activities
off campus in the surrounding rural and urban areas. They often give students
the freedom to choose between outdoor activities similar to those at rural
colleges and urban offerings such as museums, concerts, plays and other
cultural events.
Colleges often provide local transportation to and from the local
community and the urban areas surrounding the college. Local venues surrounding
the college often offer student discounts for access to eating, shopping and
entertainment in the area.
What are the benefits of attending a suburban college?
If your student is looking, as mine was, for the benefits of
an urban college in a suburban environment, this would be an excellent choice.
In a suburban college you can enjoy the benefits of an urban college experience
but escape to the comfort of a college that feels more like home, usually
surrounded by nature and part of a local community. Essentially, you get the
best of both experiences.
For my daughter, her small college in a suburban area was
the perfect fit. Coming from a small high school in a midsize city, the large population
in New York City and the overwhelming size of the colleges she applied to would
have swallowed her up. When homesickness set in, as it always does, her tight knit
community rallied around her and helped her through.
If your student needs more support or feels a smaller,
suburban environment would suit them better, this type of college might be the
perfect fit.
Your student will spend the best part of the college application process trying to impress. Impress teachers. Impress college admissions. Impress scholarship judges. It’s part of the process and it’s something they will do as they enter the job market after graduation.
There is a lesson that we
as parents must teach them about self-confidence and being able to present
themselves well. There is a point where their approach to their wild streak has
to mean something as they must understand not everyone is like them. There is
sometimes a convention that we must follow because it gives us a solid and
meaningful foundation from which to stand on. So why don’t we teach our kids
how to impress others in certain situations in life? They will need to at some
point and yet we don’t often take the time to sit them down and show them when
and how they could possibly do this. Here are some scenarios and techniques you
can show them to getting people on their side and get their admiration.
https://youtu.be/kTNHTc6YZWM
The starting point
Your children will first need to impress someone for real in their lives when they go for a job interview. Hopefully this will be when they are young and in their mid teens. Working as a newspaper boy or in a grocery store is good life experience for them. But they must get the job first and this is when we need to give them life advice on what the employer is going to be looking out for. First off the simple things, they need to stand and sit up straight and not hunch their shoulders. They need to work on maintaining eye contact and speaking in a steady and clear tone. They should also dress the part, take the extra mile. Even if they are applying for a job in their local cafe, dress as if they are applying for an office role with formal clothes. Ask them to put themselves in the employer’s shoes and hopefully these things will begin to make sense to them.
A stand out essay
When they go off to college they will want to be noticed by their lecturers and other teachers. The common things they will get asked to produce are essays and reports. Aside from proper writing form and style they should also make their work stand out. This can be done by making a cover for their work. This is also helpful when compiling the scholarship application essay. They can use embossing folders which can imprint their own name, title of their work and even logo or slogan. This will create a 3D design on their work, which will also be unique to the touch as the gel used will remain semi-hard. This will no doubt make their work stand out from the piles and piles of other students’ work. It will impress the lecturer and make a good first impression. It’s not just words either, you can imprint shapes and sequins as well to give the cover a little more flare and character.
There are times in our lives when we need to impress
someone. But the college application process is a perfect time to help your
student put their best foot forward.
I just returned from a visit to New York City and am always
amazed by the college
opportunities available in such a small space. Manhattan is a mere 23
square miles and there are hundreds of colleges for any interest beckoning for
the adventurous student. From focused studies in film, acting, music and
fashion, to the traditional four-year college, Manhattan offers a wide variety
of secondary education choices.
Is your student craving for an urban experience at college?
If so, there are a few things to consider.
What is an urban
college environment like?
In New York City, the colleges have become part of the city
itself. They are mingled within the skyscrapers and citywide neighborhoods. In
other cities, the college is more self-contained in in their own little
neighborhoods. Since this type of environment can be overwhelming, especially
for students who come from small towns or rural areas. Don’t fool yourself into
thinking just because you want to escape the small-town mentality, that an
urban environment will be easy to navigate.
It takes some tenacity and fortitude to navigate the subway
system in New York, along with the millions of people who live on Manhattan.
The same is true for colleges in Los Angeles, Boston, Chicago and other large
metropolitan areas.
What are the benefits
of attending an urban college?
Urban colleges, like those in New York, offer a wide range of cultural off-campus experiences and a variety of entertainment like museums, concerts, plays and more. In addition, urban colleges offer students a larger pool of possible internship opportunities since many companies operate within these large cities. For instance, if your student is studying film, acting, fashion or music, a college on Manhattan will put them in close proximity to many opportunities to hon their craft and get advice from those currently working in these areas.
For example, in New York City, there is a restaurant called
Ellen’s Stardust Diner
that offers budding Broadway hopefuls the opportunity to perform each day live
in front of an audience of diners while earning wages as servers. In addition,
the establishment pays for additional acting, singing and dancing classes for
its employees. This year alone, 17 of its employees have joined Broadway
productions.
Is an urban college the right choice for your student?
Urban colleges are good environments for outgoing students
who have a spirit of adventure and who like to interact with people of
different cultures and backgrounds. There will always be something going on in
the city and it will be easy to access any activity that interests you.
It’s easy to get around an urban college because you will
have access to a large public transportation system. It likely won’t be
necessary to have a car while attending college because of the easy accessibility
of transportation.
If a certain city is a hot sport for your student’s chosen
career field, like Broadway theater is in New York, they might consider
attending a college within the city. It will be easier to do networking and
make connections while attending school.
Tomorrow, I will explore the advantages of attending a
suburban college. Stay tuned!
Have you ever heard someone say, “College is a waste of time and money”? Or, “There’s no way I could afford to go to college”? These are some common college myths that many people believe to be true. But the reality is that neither of these statements is true.
Following are some common myths about college, examining the
reality of each of them:
Myth #1: College is a waste of time and money.
College is only a waste of time and money if you waste your time
and your money. Choose the right college at the right price and you will recoup
your investment ten-fold. Choose the wrong college and incur a tremendous
amount of debt and the myth could become a reality. Waste your time drinking
and partying without devoting time to academics and that tuition money could
fly out the window.
Myth #2: There’s no way I could afford to go to college.
Many students and parents believe that financial aid is only for the extremely poor or highly gifted students. That’s simply not true. Everyone qualifies for some form of financial aid and there is an affordable college solution for everyone. Community college is an affordable option. Winning scholarships can decrease your college costs as well. Working during college can also help defer some of the costs. If college is your dream, there is a way to finance it.
Myth #3: The college with the lowest price is the most affordable.
This is not necessarily true. Colleges with high sticker prices
often give the most financial aid based on alumni contributions and generous
donors. After taking financial aid into consideration, a seemingly more
expensive college may be more affordable than one with a lower sticker price.
Myth #4: The only good degree comes from a 4-year college.
Nothing could be further from the truth. There are many satisfying
and good paying jobs that require 2-year or technical degrees. If those type of
careers interest you, then you should not discount that type of education.
Getting the degree you need for the career you want is more important than
graduating from a 4-year college.
Myth #5: Small colleges offer limited opportunities.
The size of a college isn’t enough to make a complete judgment. Small colleges and large universities all offer unique opportunities for the students who are looking for that perfect fit. The philosophy and vision of the college and its leadership is much more important that the size of the student body or campus.
Don’t believe everything people say about college. Do your own
research and evaluate using the information you gather. Separate the myths from
the realities.
The increase in college costs and fears about the inability to secure employment after graduation causes many students to consider delaying college or even skipping college altogether.
While college costs can be high, consider that the majority who delay college regret not going and a high percentage continue within the workforce without a college degree. In this competitive job market, a college degree is necessary to compete with other degreed applicants and increase your lifetime earning potential.
If you take AP classes during high school, you can take AP tests
and many colleges will give you college credit based on your test score. Dual
credit classes allow you to attend college while attending high school, giving
you college credit when you graduate. Securing credit before starting to
college can reduce your costs dramatically and many times allow you to complete
your degree in three years.
Begin your college career at a community college
According to the study, 41 percent of adults and 35 percent of
teens said schools like Harvard or Princeton are important, but not necessary
to get ahead. Only 17 percent of teens though going to a top tier school would
give them a better chance of finding a job. Start your college career at the
local community college and save some big bucks. Just make sure that those
credits will transfer to a 4-year college after completion.
Pay as you go
The most effective way to offset high college costs is to adopt
the “pay-as-you-go” method. Many colleges allow you to break the tuition
payments up into affordable monthly installments. If you choose this method,
you can work during college and pay the tuition while you attend. Of course,
you will need to choose an affordable college option, such as a state
university.
Live at home and work during college
While living at home and working might not be your optimum choice,
it’s a viable option. It’s possible to arrange your classes around your work schedule.
Your income from your job can offset tuition costs. Living at home will save
you money on room and board, reducing your college costs significantly and
allowing you to apply that money toward tuition.
Take some classes online
Taking classes online can be less expensive and also cost effective. But before you drop some of your hard earned money check with your college and verify that they will accept those courses as credit. Many students take some courses over the summer and/or winter breaks, saving higher credit costs for those classes that are only offered at their respective colleges.
Delaying college might seem like the best choice when faced with
the high cost; but if you think creatively and work hard, you should be able to
attend college and pursue the degree of your choice.
High school graduation is upon you and you and your student are looking forward toward college and a very busy summer. Amidst all the parties and preparation, it’s crucial that you spend some time dispensing “parental” advice in a way they will listen and take it to heart.
Don’t sit them down for “the talk” because they will simply tune you out. Take advantage of snippets of time to cover these important topics either for the first time or as a refresher before college.
Pick your friends carefully
College friends have a great impact on a student’s academic success, social life while in college and create a feeling of home away from home. Impress upon them that their friends will influence them in positive and even negative ways, just as they did in high school; but with one difference–you won’t be there to meet them and give advice.
Study first, play after
College is much more difficult than high school. The reading is extensive, the homework can be overwhelming, and the study requirements can be brutal. If your student doesn’t make study a priority, their first semester of college could be their last.
Take advantage of that expensive education
It’s true when they say colleges are institutions of higher learning. But your student must attend class, pay attention, be motivated to study, and do the work. The knowledge won’t just soak in, your student will have to do their part. Don’t miss out on free lectures and career training opportunities.
Don’t look in the rear view mirror
Your student’s friends (and boyfriend or girlfriend) back home will often bring them down. During periods of homesickness, that pull to return home from the friends who stayed can be strong. Remind your student that college will be a new chapter in their life and looking ahead will keep them focused on what’s important.
Graduation will come sooner than you expect
Four years will pass quickly. Your student needs to take advantage of every opportunity to plan for days after graduation. They should participate in internships, make connections with alumni, develop relationships with professors, and visit the career center often. Most students don’t even start thinking about jobs after graduation until senior year. When graduation day arrives, you student won’t be caught unprepared.
Resolve roommate conflicts immediately
When your student recognizes a problem (and they will). address it. Much of the angst your student might experience with roommates could have been avoided if your student simply has a conversation. For the worst problems, go to the RA for mediation.
Avoid risky behavior and consider the consequences
Every college is a party school. Unfortunately, even though your student will be underage, they will be offered alcohol. The reality is there will always be drinking on campus. Excessive drinking can cause all sorts of regrettable behavior that result in negative consequences. It’s unwise for you to assume that your student won’t drink because even the strongest student will be tempted and most likely succumb. For girls, this conversation is critical since drinking often results in unwanted sexual experiences because they are less likely to be in control of their emotions.
Your professors are your friend
Your student’s professors are key players in their college success. Encourage them to establish relationships and cultivate them. They might need them for tutoring help, and will definitely need them for job connections after graduation.
The days will fly by–Carpe Diem!
The memories my daughter made in college are some of her most treasured memories. Her sorority sisters, her study abroad experiences, her trips with friends, and some of her most admired professors and mentors live in those memories. College is what you make of it and your student should enjoy and experience every moment.
Before you head to the college fairs, and go through the emotional rigmarole of enrolling your children into college, you’ve got to prepare them for numerous changes in life. While homeschooling is becoming a more popular approach, there can be concerns that children aren’t prepared for college in this manner purely because they have been educated at home. Can a child get a better education at home to prepare them for college? Let’s answer the question.
Does Homeschooling Hinder Their Socializing?
From an outsider perspective, a child that is educated at home by themselves can seem ill-equipped to deal with what college throws at them. But in fact, while being homeschooled means they’re not engaging with people on a regular basis, it means that they can interact with other people with more vigor. In fact, many children are better socialized through homeschooling than those that go through the standard education system. It could also be because homeschooled children are less bound by time in class, so they have the opportunity to go out and engage with the world.
Are Homeschooled Children “Less Academic?”
There are two strands of thought to this. Because many homeschooled children choose their education they naturally have more of a passion for the subject, and when they apply to college, this authenticity shines through their application making them more of an asset to a specific college. But on the other hand, there are plenty of educational organizations, like cyber charter schools, that provide a structured education that children can follow. Because a child chooses their own education through homeschooling, or can follow a set routine provided by these cyber schools, it makes them more skilled regardless of the avenue they go down. It’s not a question of them being “less academic” but more about having the time out of school to add more strings to their bow, making them very attractive to college admission officers.
They Will Savor College
There are many kids that get into college and treat it like a vacation. But for those who have been educated at home, and have had to seek out their own passions in life, they will make more of college life. The opportunities that present themselves can be a logical extension of what they’ve already done. But in fact, as college provides more of an opportunity, from numerous extracurricular activities to social functions and more valued friendships, the child that’s been homeschooled won’t take this for granted in comparison to many others. It’s not just the fact that they will turn up for lectures and knuckle down, but they’ll find all aspects of college rewarding.
If anything, it would appear that home education is the way forward. There was a study that followed students between 2004 and 2009 at a doctoral university, and those that were homeschooled outperformed their peers and graduated at a higher grade. Even from an academic perspective, it appears that homeschooling isn’t the act of the parents wanting to bring their child out of formal education. In fact, it could give them a leg up in life!
If you’ve thought about homeschooling and wonder if it’s right for you, this infographic should help you weigh the pros and cons.
When your student starts the college search process it’s easy to become overwhelmed and focus completely on the task at hand. First there are the visits, then you compare colleges, then you begin working on the applications that include the essay, and finally completing the FAFSA to qualify for financial aid. With all these tasks at hand, and a focus on academics and test scores, it’s not surprising that many forget to evaluate themselves for other important skill sets. Without these skills, all your preparation and hard work to get accepted will leave you ill-prepared for college life. Is your student prepared for college?
Financial skills
When your student heads off to college there will be many financial decisions they need to make, beginning with how much student loan debt they are willing to incur. Use loan repayment calculators to determine the amount of re-payments after graduation and use these figures to make wise decisions about loans. They will also need to know how to budget their money in regards to other college costs such as books, living expenses and entertainment. Add to that the knowledge of credit card rates and how easily it is to fall into debt using them for simple things such as pizza. Many students graduate from college with over $10,000 in credit card debt.
Social skills
If your student is headed off to college to hook up with the party scene, they are in for a rude awakening when their first semester grades are released. Many students forget that partying affects their study time and class attendance. If they are exhausted from partying the night before, they are less likely to get up for that early class. Recognize that while making friends and enjoying the social scene are necessary for their overall satisfaction of the college experience, they should not forget the reason they came to college: to get an education. Discuss with them how to balance their social life with their academic life before they leave in the fall.
Academic skills
College is not like high school. Professors expect that your student do their assignments and they don’t check up on you if you don’t. Coming to college with refined study and organization skills will help your student adjust to the rigorous course requirements of a college degree program. Managing their time is also important as it relates to class assignments, studying for tests and preparing term papers.
Mental skills
College life produces a whole new set of mental and emotional problems. Many students face homesickness early and should recognize that those feelings are normal. They should go to college with the skills needed to cope with stress and the feeling of loneliness that often occurs. Recognize that all these factors contribute to their overall mental health and know beforehand where they can find help if they need it.
Problem solving
skills
College is no different than life—obstacles occur on a daily basis and you will need the skills to deal with those obstacles. Your student will be confronted with conflict and should know how to resolve that conflict, either by themselves or with a mediator (such as an RA or student advisor). They will face situations that require them to advocate and they should be comfortable doing this before they head off to college and become completely independent.
So much time is spent preparing for the actual college choice and application that very little time and effort goes into prepping for these valuable life skills. They may be prepared for the academic rigors of college, but neglecting to prepare for all the other aspects of college life might affect your success and ultimate degree completion. It’s your role as a parent to make sure they have these skills before they leave for college.
It’s a jungle out there–cluttered with all kinds of college advice. How does a parent hack through the massive amounts of advice and find what they need with confidence? It’s not easy. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of college help websites, Facebook groups, YouTube channels and more offering paid and unpaid advice about college.
There are five experts I turn to when I need added advice about all things college:
Debbie Schwartz-admissions/financial aid
Debbie Schwartz founded Road2College in 2016 to educate families about college admissions and empower smarter college financial decisions. Her facebook group has a huge following with parents and experts sharing advice about paying for college and finding colleges with the best merit aid.
With all the scholarship search sites and information out there, you need someone to help your student WIN the scholarships they are eligible for. Monica fits that bill. She successfully helped her son graduate debt-free with $100,000 worth of scholarships by using her unique method of packaging the scholarship application. She knows her stuff and she knows what you need to know to make the scholarship application process successful.
Perhaps the most complicated aspect of the college application process is financial aid. Jodi has experience in this area from working in a college’s financial aid department. She has advice related to the FAFSA, student loans, financing college and helping your student budget for college. If you have a financial aid question, Jodi knows the answer.
I love Ethan’s information because he knows what he is talking about and much of it is free to anyone who takes the time to browse his website. He offers samples of essays, tips for writing them, brainstorming ideas and more. He also provides personalized help with the essay and web training for students as well. You can’t go wrong by using Ethan’s expertise and he even has a “pay what you can afford” option for his seminars. What could be better?
If you have a learning disabled student or simply a student who can’t seem to focus on preparing for standardized tests, Jenn is the expert. Her unique method of coaching not only helps prepare your student for the test, but she helps them learn study habits to help with more than test prep. Jenn has the training and the experience to help your student do their best on any of the standardized tests. Plus, she’s a Duke alumini and proud of it!
Disclaimer: I don’t receive any fee or commission for recommending these experts. These are simply my own “go to” experts when I have a question or need to collaborate in any of these areas of college prep. I trust them implicitly and you can too!
When parents and students enter the college-bound process,
issues arise. It’s the inevitable clash of what parents think is best for their
kids, and what the kids want. Over the past 18 years the clashes have been over
such things as food, friends and entertainment choices. As college approaches,
the parent-student conflict intensifies.
Following are six areas that typically cause conflict along with some advice on how to handle it and work toward a compromise.
1. Junior college vs
4-year college
Parents often approach the college prep process from a
financial standpoint; students do. They make their decisions based on all types
of criteria that might not seem logical to parents: location, campus
activities, the look of the campus, friends, and even popularity of the college
with their peers. While those aren’t necessarily the best criteria, they should
play into their final decisions.
Here are just a few questions to consider:
Would a
4-year college be better for your student?
If your student is independent and knows
what he wants, a 4-year college might indeed be the best choice. Students who
are focused and are ready to pursue a specific major can benefit from attending
a 4-year college starting with their freshman year.
Could you
justify a 4-year college if it was more affordable?
Although junior college is more affordable
based on cost for credit hours, there are other factors to consider. For
instance, scholarships are more readily available to incoming freshmen than to
transfer students. Financial aid awards could be enough to offset the higher
tuition fees.
Does your student understand the benefits of junior college?
Perhaps the greatest benefit of attending a
junior college is getting the basics out of the way, especially if they are
unsure about a major. The financial benefits can be great as well, especially
if the student lives at home and works while attending.
Is it possible to reach a compromise?
Talk with your student and make an effort to
understand their reasons for wanting to attend a 4-year college. Be open to the
possibility. Explain your concerns about cost and going to college without a
decided major. A compromise might be for them to take courses over the summer
before college and get a few of the basics out of the way.
2. A profitable major
vs a major that embraces their passions
Parents think logically—they want their kids to graduate and
be able to secure a job that pays well and has future career advancement
possibilities. While there is nothing wrong with that line of thinking, their
kids want to study something that interests them.
Have you considered these realities?
Your
child would be more likely to embrace college if he has a passion for what he
is studying.
Statistics show that nearly half of all
college students drop out before receiving a degree. If your student is
pursuing something he is passionate about, the likelihood of him sticking it
out for 4 years is much higher than if he is pursuing a major that doesn’t
interest him simply because he will be more employable after graduation.
There are
lucrative majors that embrace all areas of interest and could be a good
compromise.
Investigate majors and research the ones
that have a good rate of return. Encourage your child to look at the degree
plans and perhaps add a minor to their degree embracing their passions. Some
colleges even allow students to create their own degree plans, choosing courses
that interest them and pertain to their areas of study.
Those who
are happiest in life have careers that they are passionate about.
Of course you want your child to be
successful and be able to make a living. But even though they get a job after
graduation that pays well, it doesn’t guarantee they will stick with it,
especially if it is not something they are passionate about.
Explaining
the consequences of choosing a major that’s unemployable might help your child
understand why you are concerned.
Graduating with debt and being unemployable
is a big concern for parents. But your student may not understand the
consequences of their decision. Its four years down the road and all they see
is dollar signs because they have a college degree. Encourage them to do some
research on the major they are considering and the expected salary and hiring
potential after graduation. It just might open their eyes and help them move
toward a more logical major.
3. Extracurricular
activities vs free time
Parents look at the big picture. Students focus on the “here
and now”. It’s hard for teenagers to comprehend the importance of proper
planning and preparation. They want to enjoy high school and not be pressed day
in and day out to focus on the future. It’s a delicate balance between applying
themselves, managing their time and enjoying their free time.
With a few simple tactics you and your teen should be able
to reach a compromise:
Set
aside time each day to work on college related activities.
Parents who are over achievers expect the
same from their student. But all work and no play makes for a very stressed out
teenager. Make a plan with them to spend x amount of time each day on
college-related activities. Once they complete their daily tasks, you will feel
better about letting them have some free time.
Encourage
your teen to focus on one activity throughout high school.
Many parents think that piling on the
extracurriculars during high school will impress college admissions officers.
But it’s not entirely true. Colleges are looking for focused applicants. They
are much more impressed with a student who has devoted four years in high
school to one particular activity than one who has piled them on just to
impress. Consistency is more appealing than numbers.
Allow
your teen time to have fun while helping them to find balance.
Teaching your teen to balance their time
will go a long way in helping them to manage their time in college. Students
who know how to keep a balance between studying and social activities do much
better in a college environment. Help them prioritize their activities.
Work with
them to establish goals and the steps needed to reach them.
Before they leave for college, students need
to know how to set goals and how to take steps to fulfill them. Help them make
a list of goals, both short term and long term, and encourage them to evaluate
those goals on a regular basis adjusting their time to stay on track.
4. Hand holding vs a
quest for independence
Perhaps the most difficult part of parenting a college-bound
teen is when to help and when to let them take the reins. It’s hard because for
the past 18 years we have been in control. Relinquishing control over such a
critical process in their life is harder than you might imagine. Looking at the
process from the college’s standpoint, the student needs to own the process.
They will be the one going to college and they should be the one making the
decisions. But you can certainly guide, encourage and offer help when asked.
Parents can help with
these tasks:
Staying organized-keeping track of deadlines and test dates.
Explaining the financial plan-discuss what you will pay and what you expect them to pay toward college.
Providing documents as needed, especially concerning financial aid.
Offering advice about college choices-offer advice but don’t dictate choices based on your preferences.
Accompanying them on college visits- listen to their likes and dislikes afterwards while staying objective.
Providing tutoring help if needed.
Help with studying for standardized tests.
Guide them with the final decision helping them take into account financial aid awards
Help with locating scholarships.
Parents should let
their student take the lead with these tasks:
Compiling a list of college choices
Talking during college visits and interviews
Communicating with colleges via email, social media, and telephone
Gathering letters of recommendation
Applying for scholarships
Completing the application
Completing the FAFSA
Making the final decision
5. Gap year vs going
straight to college
Parents cringe when their teens bring up the gap year. The
concept seems like procrastination and parents fear that once out of school,
the student may never go to college at all. Taking a year off to lie around and
do nothing is never an acceptable option. But taking a year off with a focused
purpose might be what’s best for your teen.
Before you put your foot down and forbid them to do this,
consider the reasons a gap year might be beneficial:
They
could use the time to pursue career interests.
A gap year could be the perfect time for
your student to learn more about specific careers that would help them choose a
major. Internships and apprenticeships during the year could provide them with
more information about the types of education needed and the specific degree
plan best suited to their chosen career.
They
could take the time to travel and work abroad.
Taking a year off to travel and work abroad
can be beneficial when they do attend college. Being exposed to different
cultures and getting to see the world helps them in their future careers. There
are many programs
that offer students the opportunity to work while abroad and some that offer
them the opportunity to volunteer for room and board. Scholarships are also
available as well.
They
could simply use the time to mature and gain focus.
Many high school graduates simply aren’t
mature and focused enough to attend college. Taking a year off means a year to
grow and mature. But it should never be used to sit around the house, play
video games, and hang out with friends. A gap year, to help with maturity and
focus, should always include a plan such as working part-time while taking a
few courses at the local community college.
Work full
time to save money for college.
For many students, working full time for a
year will help them save money for college expenses. It’s definitely something
to consider, especially if this money would be used to avoid taking out student
loans.
Parents should understand that college right after high school is not the best path for every teen. There are other alternatives, even ones that could include taking a course or two at a community college. The most important role for parents is to help their teenager find a path to success.
6. Considering alternatives to college
In a recent article I wrote for Collegiate Parent, Alternatives to Traditional College, I explained that not every student is meant to take the 4-year college path:
“When my son was a senior in high school, he had no idea what he wanted to do after graduation. College seemed out of reach and of very little interest since he coasted through high school on the bare minimum of effort. His involvement in NJROTC (Navy Junior Reserve Officers Training Corps) in high school led him toward the military option. When he left for boot camp after graduation, he was happy with his decision to avoid the traditional college route.
My daughter, on the other hand, knew she wanted to go to college and where she wanted to go. When she graduated and left for college in the fall, she was content with her decision and looked forward to four years of education.
Each of my children chose a different path. If I had forced my son to attend college it would have ended badly. If I had pressured my daughter to join the military, it would have been a disaster. But since I let them decide for themselves and didn’t push them in any one direction, they found the paths that were right for them.”
While a college degree is an impressive achievement and has undisputed value, it’s not for everyone. There are many meaningful paths after high school graduation that don’t include a traditional four-year college experience. If your student is vacillating about going to college, or is currently in college but regrets the decision, don’t panic. Your student may need to follow one of these alternative paths.
Parents and teens take on new roles during the college prep
process. The parents are attempting to let go and trust that the decisions made
will be the best ones. The teens are attempting to exert their independence and
make their own decisions. As senior year progresses, teens should move toward
independence and parents should relinquish control and trust their teens to act
as they have been taught over the last 18 years. It’s not easy, but the ideal
situation is parents guiding their teens to become independent, self-advocating
adults.
