Category Archives: college prep

college guidance, college prep, parenting

How to Know If Your Teen is Ready for College Without Asking

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ready for college

Yes. You could come out and ask the question. But the odds are your teen probably doesn’t know; and even if he does answer, it might not be an honest one. It might be what he thinks you want to hear. Your child needs some “mean” emotional skills before move-in day, as evidenced by all the college kids calling their parents to say, “I don’t like it here. Can I come home?”

How do you know if your teen is ready for college? Ask yourself some questions and be honest about the answers. The answers to these questions will be a good indicator about whether or not your teen is ready for college or could use some help getting prepared. You have the summer to help him practice these important independent life skills.

Does he know how to self-advocate?

It could happen on the first day of college. Your student needs help. He needs to speak with an advisor. Talk with a professor. Have a conversation with the RA. If he constantly runs to you for help in high school, how will he ever learn to advocate for himself? Colleges expect students to handle these situations by themselves. If he can’t deal with problems now, it’s a good indicator he won’t be able to handle them in college.

Does he know how to resolve conflict?

Roommate conflict is the number one reason students are unhappy the first few weeks of college. Being placed with a roommate that does not match your student’s personality and habits can be overwhelming. Conflict arises daily in college: with friends, with professors, with administration. If he goes to college without this emotional skill he will be more likely to “phone home” asking for help every time a conflict with someone arises.

Does he make friends easily and possess the necessary social skills?

Students who sit in their room alone day after day will not survive in college. They need a support group: friends to turn to when they are homesick or struggling. The social aspect of college is key to surviving four years away from home. Going to college far from the comfort of home and not knowing anyone can be a deal-breaker for the shy, uninvolved student.

Does he know how to recognize and avoid risky behavior?

There are going to be opportunities in college to participate in dangerous behavior: drinking, drugs, hooking up, and reckless driving to name a few. Students often see college as an opportunity to participate in activities that parents would not encourage while they are living at home. Does he have the tools to recognize and avoid the consequences of these behaviors?

Has he been away from home for an extended period of time?

So many first time college students have never been away from home without parents. A few weeks away from home gives them a taste of what life is like on their own. If your student has never been away from home or on his own, college will be a difficult adjustment.

Preparing your student for the emotional aspect of college will be best for him and for you. If he’s ready to venture out on his own, you will be less stressed about dropping him off on move-in day. And you most likely won’t receive the dreaded phone call: “I want to come home.”

admissions, college guidance, college planning, college prep, college transfer, community college, parenting

My Son’s Path to College Graduation Took 9 Years After High School

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This week, I will be sharing some personal stories and experiences of my own children’s path to college. I hope they help enlighten you and encourage you to help your college-bound teen.

college graduation

During his senior year of high school, my son applied to three schools: the Air Force Academy, West Point, and the Citadel. He knew he didn’t have the grades to get into these competitive colleges, but they were his dream schools. He didn’t apply anywhere else and when he was not offered admission, he decided to give up on college. He was defeated and felt he couldn’t possibly succeed. He also felt college was out of the question without scholarships and he did not bother to apply for any. Because of this, my son’s path to college graduation took nine years after high school.

Unfortunately, I was an uninformed parent. I did not know at the time there were many other options for him. He could have attended community college for a nominal cost. He could have applied rolling admission to colleges that were within our ability to pay. He could have chosen a military college and accepted an officer’s commission after graduation. But because he felt he had few options, he opted for the military, with the promise of attending college while serving.

Since he chose the Marines, he had little time to attend college. After serving his four years, he was honorably discharged and the day after leaving the Marine Corps, he began attending a state college on the G.I Bill. Unfortunately, he made a poor college choice. Based on his Marine buddies recommendations, he chose a “party” school. To make matters worse, the college was a commuter college—students went home on the weekends.

Every student has a different path to college--be sensitive and be an encourager
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After one semester, he withdrew with an absolutely disappointing 1.0 GPA. It was not that he was a poor student. He just wasn’t ready. After being told what to do for four years, he wasn’t disciplined enough to attend class, study, and participate in discussions. His plan—come home and find a full-time job. We agreed to give him six months.

After working at a minimum wage job for one year and living in a small studio apartment, it became clear to him that he needed a college education. Since his GPA would not allow him to re-enter college, he decided to attend community college, retake the same courses, bring up his GPA and transfer to a four-year college after he had met the basic requirements. Better yet, his G.I Bill and Pell Grant would cover all his tuition, making it possible to attend for two years without incurring any student loan debt.

After two years of community college, he transferred to a private college with a 4.0 GPA. Because of his excellent academic standing, he was able to secure scholarships for this college as well. After two more years, and nine years after high school, he graduated Magna Cum Laude with numerous academic merit awards. It was clear that he was capable of so much more than he thought he was in high school.

What made the difference? He was ready. After working for a year making minimum wage, he realized the importance of a college education. He made a plan and kept his eye on the prize. As he did in the Marines, he excelled in the execution of that plan and reaped the rewards of his academic commitment.

Is your teen a good student and is struggling with a college decision? Don’t be discouraged. He or she may not be ready. A gap year might be in order. Working at a trade or internship could help motivate them. For my son, the military was the best option. Whatever your teenager decides, the path he or she takes should be the path that best fits them. Forcing a student to attend college if he’s not ready will only lead to disaster: financial and personal failure.

If you think your unmotivated student has few education options after high school, think again. Community college is always an option, offering an opportunity to ease into college life. Trade schools offer a hands-on education and for some students, the best choice. There are colleges who accept applications year round, and even colleges that have a 100% acceptance rate. Just because your student does mediocre in high school, don’t assume college will be an academic repeat. If college is truly his goal, he will make it work; and he just might surprise you.

college guidance, college planning, college prep, college visits, parenting

College Planning for 2016

 

2016

With the Christmas season upon us and students out of school, it’s a good time to look at what lies ahead and make some plans to hit the ground running in January 2016.

First things first, take a look at scholarships with January deadlines. These should be at the top of your list to begin 2016. Make scholarship searching and applying a priority in 2016. Say you don’t need money for college? Everyone likes free money! The more scholarship money your student earns the less you will have to pay. Save for retirement. Take a cruise. Remodel your home. Wouldn’t you rather keep the money you saved and use it for other family expenses? It’s a no-brainer–every student should apply for scholarships.

For seniors, it’s FAFSA time. Yes. It’s the dreaded FAFSA (much like the dreaded IRS forms). Don’t procrastinate. With the FAFSA, the early bird gets the worm (or in college terms, gets the money). School award aid on a first-come, first-serve basis. Once it’s available on January 1, get that puppy done. Even if you don’t want federal aid, fill it out. Colleges use this form when awarding other types of financial aid like grants and scholarships.

For juniors, it’s SAT/ACT prep time. If you’re taking the test in 2016, you’re going to be staring the new SAT in the face: it’s going to be available in March 2016. Use the next couple of months to prepare for the test. There are free tools on line to help you study and consider hiring a tutor if you think it will help your student focus and prepare.

Don’t wait to register for these tests at the last minute. If you plan to take the tests in January, REGISTER NOW! And it it’s in the spring, register now to avoid late registration fees. For a comprehensive guide on these registration and test dates, click here.

For sophomores and juniors, it’s time to start thinking about college visits. Sophomores should plan preliminary college visits (visit some colleges to get a feel for college life and prepare a list of wants and needs). Juniors will be making visits to show the college they are interested. Sign up for the tour and schedule and interview. Colleges keep tract of these visits and it will give you an edge when your application is received.

With a new year, comes new challenges and college-related tasks. Planning in December can help you hit the ground running in January and move forward in 2016.

admissions, college guidance, college planning, college prep, Guest Posts

Don’t Let the Wrong Things Stand in the Way of Your Child’s College Dreams

 

college dreams

What are your student’s college dreams?

There are many reasons your child may not get into a specific college—but you should never be one of them.

Sometimes it simply comes down to other applicants being more qualified—whether that be through grades or extracurriculars, maturity level or how admissions officers feel a student will jibe with the university, its mission and the makeup of its incoming class.

But there are many external roadblocks we put on our children that can limit them. Here are three of the most common—and the most detrimental.

  1. Show me… money!

Of course, tuition is astronomically expensive, and no one wants to saddle their child with the huge debts that have been the bane of the current generation of post-grads. That being said, there are always scholarships and fellowships available to people with the right skill level.

If your student has a high level of achievement and is looking toward a trajectory that seems like it will break your bank, start your research on these opportunities early—at least a year in advance of application dates. Many scholarship applications are hard work and require essays, financial statements and recommendation letters.   

College counselors may be able to help outline solutions too, and there are also a great many free college fairs around the country. Check out the calendars for these, because they not only have people there as representatives of major universities, they also have resources to help your student find the financial aid that is necessary for him or her to achieve a college dream.

In the end, if you have to go with loans, don’t fret… it’s possible that all will be forgiven sometime soon!

  1. But where in the world is it?

Many students (and parents) get hung up on staying close to home, with friends, or in a warmer clime. Encourage your student to look deeper into the kind of education they will receive, rather than whether it gets too far below zero (at say the University of Minnesota). What you know (that they likely do not) is that four years is not a long time. Your child can always return to the bosom of the family, or back to sunny California, once they have a solid degree in hand. But who knows—maybe ice fishing will become a favorite new hobby.

  1. I don’t know where I want to go!

Another common roadblock to finding the right university is too many choices when it comes to the future. It’s important to sit down with your child and have a conversation about what they want in a school, even if they keep saying “I dunno.” Keep in mind there is no perfect place and there are many “right” schools to choose from. I know it seems like a massive decision, but it’s one you can get wrong and not suffer too much—a student can always transfer if things don’t work out.

Here are some areas to focus on to help your child whittle down their list of potential schools:

  • Size of school: Would they be excited about the opportunities of a large campus or prefer the individualized instruction of a smaller school?
  • Faculty: Look up the achievements of the professors in certain areas that might interest your son or daughter. Keep in mind elite professors may be on sabbaticals, but it demonstrates a level of commitment to a specific subject at a university. Research opportunities are another part of this. Is the University participating in cutting-edge research in an area that is exciting to your young student?
  • Extracurriculars: Actively investigate where extracurriculars that interest your child are strongest. This will be part of finding the right fit. See if clubs, athletics or performance groups have a high level of achievement.
  • Study Abroad Possibilities: Is this something your student wants to pursue? Make sure the options are available.
  • Post-Graduate Opportunities: It’s much easier to get into grad school at the university where you receive your bachelor’s. If your child is on a path that requires this kind of education, see if this added criteria helps make a choice of where to apply.

Ultimately, it’s imperative to give students the latitude to make their own decisions based entirely on their qualifications for college rather than on any other factor. Everything else can be figured out. Remember, where there’s a will, there’s a way.

___________________________________________

About the Author

Ryan Hickey is the Managing Editor of Petersons and EssayEdge and is an expert in many aspects of college, graduate, and professional admissions. A graduate of Yale University, Ryan has worked in various admissions capacities for nearly a decade, including writing test-prep material for the SAT, AP exams, and TOEFL, editing essays and personal statements, and consulting directly with applicants.

college planning, college prep, podcasts

College Prep: A Podcast Interview with Prepped and Polished

 

 

college prep

A few weeks ago, Alexis Avila from Prepped and Polished interviewed me on his podcast about college prep. The jest of the interview: how did you get involved helping parents with college prep? Of course, this is my favorite topic.

Alexis and I talked about college prep and the obstacles I faced. We discussed what I learned along the way and the mistakes we made. You will learn about my “Ah ha” moments. And also how I started helping parents along with what parents need to know to be an effective college coach.

Take 15 minutes out of your day and listen to the interview. Have questions? Feel free to email me at suzannemshaffer@gmail.com.

Need MORE expert advice, check out my posts here:

50 College Info Websites

50 More College Info Websites

College Prep Resources

Here are the experts I recommended along with Alexis’ podcast links (apart from test prep recommending Prepped and Polished):

Financial Aid: Jodi Okun and my podcast with Jodi Okun

College Visits: Kelly Queijo and my podcast with Kelly Queijo

College Planning: Paul Hemphill

College Essays: College Essay Guy 

Check out the interview with interview notes and links:
The Prepped and Polished Podcast-Parents Countdown to College

college planning, college prep

3 College Connections You Need to Make

 

 

college connections

If you are considering college, or headed off to college in the fall, you should make friends with these people on campus: admissions counselors, financial aid officers, and current students. Why? Because these three groups of college connections can help you with all the aspects of navigating the college maze:

1. Admissions counselors

It’s not secret that making friends with the admissions department can go a long way in securing your eventual acceptance. Admission officers keep track of how often you visit their campus, contact them regarding information, and express an interest in their institution. If you application is marginal, contact with an admissions officer could give you that extra push needed for acceptance. Schedule an interview when you visit campus, secure a business
card with contact information, and follow up after the visit. Recognizing your name when those thousands of applications arrive can help get your application on the top of the pile.

2. Financial aid officers

These helpful people can provide you with the information you need to know about financing your college education. Ask them questions about the total cost of college. This not only includes tuition, room and board, but additional costs incurred to attend. Once you have applied, you might also need to clarify some financial information related to the FAFSA, write an appeal letter for additional aid, or contact them about your aid disbursements. Schedule an appointment when you visit campus, secure a business card, and file it for future reference when/if you need a contact in that office.

3. Current students

Students who are currently attending college (specifically the one you are interested in attending) can be a valuable resource for information. You can connect with them on your campus visit, follow them on Twitter, and find them on the college’s Facebook page. Do some navigating on the college website for bloggers and for individual sites that are set up through the college itself. Connecting with students will help you get a feel for the type of student who is attending, and can help you once you are accepted by answering questions related to moving in, getting settled, and making that transition on campus. Networking is just as important in college as it is in the job world. Making those essential connections will ease the college application process and simplify the transition to college once you are accepted.

college planning, college prep, social networks

10 Twitter Chats for College Prep Success

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twitter chatsWith today’s technology, information is everywhere–from blogs, to social media, to college websites. But when you’re looking for information wouldn’t it be great to actually SPEAK with the experts and ask questions for FREE?

That’s what Twitter chats can do for you. Experts in the area of college prep gather together on Twitter during Twitter chats to provide you with the most up-t0-date information on the college application process.

For those of you who are new to Twitter chats, #SEOChat has a very good explanation of how they work, how to participate and even some good resources to search for more chats. But here are a few simple instructions:

  • Mark the chat date on your calendar and set a reminder so you don’t forget
  • Follow the chat’s hashtag on Twitter by using programs like Hootsuite, Twitter Chat or TweetChat. These programs help you keep the conversation in one place and make it easier to respond.
  • Follow the feed and ask questions if you are unclear about something. If it isn’t answered in the chat, feel free to DM the moderator or guest after the chat is over. Sometimes chats can be a bit chaotic if there are many attendees.
  • Favorite any tweets with links or information you feel will be helpful to research after the chat.

Chat times and dates change, but if you follow their Twitter feed you will be notified of any date and time changes.

Still not convinced these chats are worth you time? Check out my post: Why you should attend Twitter chats.

admissions, college guidance, college planning, college prep, mom approved tips, parenting

10 Tips for Parents of the College Bound

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10 tips for parents

Parenting a college-bound teen is a challenge. How much should you push? How much should you help? Where do you draw the line? How involved should you be? How do you help your student fulfill his college dreams?

Here are 10 tips for parents that should answer your questions:

10 Tips for Parents of High School Students

1. Don’t overparent

Much has been written lately about the damages overparenting does to students. Step aside and let your student take the wheel.

2. Make a visit to your teen’s counselor

Let the counselor know that you intend to be an involved parent and establish a relationship at the start. The counselor is an important source of information and of course guidance regarding your teen’s college pursuit.

3. Establish relationships with teachers and staff

Since most parents tend to drop out when their teen reaches high school, it’s crucial that you make it clear to the educators that you will be a partner in educating your child. Show up at PTA meetings and parent information sessions.

4. Read all school information

This means reading the school handbook, teacher handouts, letters to parents, guidance department newsletters, any rules and policies, and homework and attendance rules.

5. Stress the importance of good attendance

Attendance is key in high school. Missing even one class can put the student behind. Schedule appointments, when possible, before and after school. If there is an absence, make sure your teen does the make up work in a timely manner.

6. Encourage strong study habits

These habits will follow your teen to college. Set aside a regularly scheduled study time. Studying needs to be a priority before any added activities.

7. Stress regular contact with teachers and counselors

This contact will play an important role when your teen needs recommendation letters. It will also establish in the minds of these educators that he or she means business.

8. Be the organization coach

If you know where everything is, have a schedule and a plan, you won’t get stressed and frustrated. It’s your job as their parent coach to help them start and maintain good organization for their date planners, notebooks, folders, files and college related materials.

9. Stay informed and involved

This does not mean camp out at the school every day and follow your teen around. It means monitoring quizzes, grades, daily homework assignments and long-term projects.

10. Be proactive when you encounter problems

All types of problems arise in high school: academic, behavioral and even social. There is a logical solution for all of them, but the key is to be aware when they arise and address them quickly.

10 Tips for Parents of Seniors

1. Do the prep work

Get ready for the mounds of catalogs, test prep booklets, flyers and email reminders. Start your filing system now, create a landing zone for all college-related materials, start adding tasks on a calendar.

2. Do your best to control your emotions

It’s going to be an emotional time for both you and your student. Angry words will be spoken if you don’t make a conscious effort to bite your tongue.

3. Prepare for rejection

The upcoming year will most likely mean that your student (and you) will have to deal with rejection. It’s not personal, but you will feel like it is.

4. Decide what role you will take

Please. I beg you. Do NOT be the parent that shoves, manipulates, and actually does the work for their student. Be the parent who encourages, supports and offers help and advice when needed.

5. Prepare for emotional outbursts

This is one of the most stressful times in your family. There will be emotional outbursts as the stress intensifies. Your student will say things she does not mean. You will lose your temper and wish you didn’t.

6. Discuss the money

If you want to avoid disappointment when offers of admission arrive, have the “money talk” before your student applies to colleges. Decide what you can afford, what you will be willing to contribute toward the costs, and what you expect your student to contribute.

7. Accept there will be consequences to actions

Your student will most likely fail or mess up at some point during senior year. Rescuing your kids all the time only makes them into dependent adults and colleges aren’t impressed with those type of students or the parents that come with them.

8. Be open to all possibilities

Be open to any college choices your student might make. You will not be the one attending the college and it’s not up to you to choose for her.

9. Don’t push-it simply won’t help

If your student is unmotivated, it’s not going to help to nag her and push her to do the college prep work. If there is one thing I learned with both of my kids (and clients), if your student is not invested in the college process she won’t be invested in college.

10. Enjoy the journey

This is an exciting time in the life of your teenager. She has worked hard and will be planning her future. Enjoy the next year, even when you feel stressed and overwhelmed.

college prep, parenting

Wednesday’s Parent: Evaluate College Prep Progress Monthly

 

evaluate college prep

With all the tasks involved in college prep it makes sense to take a quick evaluation of your teen’s progress and evaluate college prep monthly. Deadlines will creep up on you, tasks will fall by the wayside, and your teen may drop the ball. By scheduling a monthly evaluation, you and your student will assure that every task and deadline is met, along with providing a time to have a conversation about any concerns you or your teen have during the process.

Wendy David-Gaines, Long Island College Prep Examiner and POCSMom, explains the importance of good habits during the college prep process:

This is not about avoiding sliding into a rut or fighting senioritis although both are specific reasons for reevaluation. This is concerning a normal and regular college preparation review. The purpose is to ensure students are still on track considering any recent modifications that may have occurred.

A lot can change during a school year that influences testing and college choice, field of study and student qualifications. Even subtle differences can highlight the revisions students need to make. Then families can put the alterations in place to become future habits that will eventually be reexamined, too.

College prep requires parents and students work as a team. Taking the time to evaluate your progress can make the process go smoother and avoid the stress of missed deadlines or college admissions requirements.

Read Wendy’s article: How habits can hurt college prep

college prep, interviews

College Interview Questions to Ask and Answer

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college interview questionsThe college interview is your student’s first exposure to what a job interview after graduation will be like. Most students are nervous, just as my daughter was on her first college interview. These questions, and others, will be going through their minds before and during the interview:

  • What questions will they ask?
  • How will I answer them?
  • Will I answer them correctly?
  • Will I make a good impression?
  • Will they like me?

The key to approaching a college interview, or any other job interview for that matter, is to prepare in advance. Don’t walk into the interview without a game plan for answering and asking college interview questions.

Here are two articles I wrote for TeenLife Media about the college interview:

Can You Answer These 10 College Interview Questions?

Here is a list of 10 interview questions colleges might ask and suggestions on how to respond. They may not be exactly as worded, but they will fall into one of four categories: questions about your fit with the college, questions about your personality, questions about interests and goals, and broader questions requiring a more thoughtful response.

Read the 10 questions and possible answers

5 Questions You Should Ask on a College Interview

The very last question a college interviewer will ask you is, “Do you have any questions?” The questions you ask them can be just as important and can also help you make your final college decision. In the end, it’s not just them choosing to admit you, it’s you choosing to accept their offer of admission.

Read the 5 question you should ask and how to prepare for them?

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