Category Archives: extracurricular activities

extracurricular activities, parenting, Uncategorized

Staying Connected With Your Teen

teenagersIt doesn’t matter how close you were before they entered high school, the tension always mounts and the temptation is to drift apart. It takes a concerted effort on your part to stay in touch with their world. They are naturally moving toward independence and we are naturally grasping to keep them from growing up. And thus begins the ying and yang of parent/teenager relationships.

During high school your teens will experience every form of human emotion: joy, sadness, rejection, fear of failure, excitement, disappointment, heartache, love, and the list goes on and on. Most of the emotions are extreme and always seem like the end of the world to them. It’s hard to convey to them that “this too shall pass” and they will realize as they get older that their life is just beginning.

They are looking ahead to the future while living in the present. Keeping on track and keeping their eyes on the prize (graduation and college) can be challenging. As their parent coach and encourager, and the all-knowing, all-wise adult in their life, it’s up to you to stay connected and help them maintain their focus.

Here are a few of my own tips to help you stay connected with your teen:

Find that time when you can sit with them and listen. This is not easy, because many teens rarely sit still for very long to have a conversation. I would sit in my daughter’s room while she picked out her clothes and dressed to go out. You’ll be amazed at how much information you can gather if you simply listen.

Share something they enjoy. It might not be your choice of activities, but if you share a common interest it gives you something to talk about. An activity as simple as watching their favorite television show with them, or making a trip to the mall to search for the all-important clothing purchase will offer opportunities for you to listen and for them to open up to you about their lives.

Let them make mistakes, but be there when they do. Allowing them to make choices and experience the consequences of those choices will prepare them for those times when you aren’t there to tell them what to do.

Pick your battles. It’s easy as a parent to constantly give advice, even to the point of overly controlling their lives. Save those showdowns for the biggies: drinking, smoking, drugs, and sex. Don’t stress so much over their clothing choices or their hair styles. They are teenagers. They want to fit in. If you’re not always battling them over the small things, they will be more receptive when you do put your foot down.

Staying connected with your teen can be challenging, but the rewards far outweigh the difficulties. When your teen turns to you and finally says, “thanks Mom” or “thanks Dad”, it’s all worth it!

admissions, college guidance, college planning, extracurricular activities, financial aid, test prep

Preparing for College: A Helping Hand

The University of Arizona has established two programs to help high school students prepare for the college experience. They are welcoming high school sophomores and seniors to a summer program that provides them with valuable information about the university and about building a foundation to help students succeed once they graduate high school and enter college.

The 2-day senior program is focused around admissions and acquainting students with the various majors available. The week-long sophomore program is focused around teaching students how to build a foundation for academic success.

According to University of Arizona academic advisors:

Minimally, families should be planning for college as early as 8th grade, when many academic decisions with long-term consequences are made. Course planning for the freshman year often begins early to mid-spring semester of the eighth grade year, and it is important that parents and school personnel help young students design a plan for college enrollment beginning then.

This program gives students a helping hand. This program was implemented after a 2007 pilot study showed that “addressing the transition barrier between high school and college was a critical point needed to help raise high school graduation levels and college enrollment”.

Hopefully other colleges will follow suit and implement these transitional programs. A student who is prepared and armed with the tools to succeed will be less likely to enter college overwhelmed and be less likely to drop out or fail.

Read the entire article here.

college costs, extracurricular activities, scholarships

Scholarship Q & A

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Question: Is it worth my time to apply for scholarships?

It is if you want FREE money. Because that’s what scholarships are: FREE money. The key is to apply for those scholarships that “fit” you. Each scholarship is looking for students with specific qualities. If you meet those, you’ll have a much better chance of winning the scholarship.

Question: I’m not the best student. Is there a scholarship out there for me?

Absolutely. Many scholarships aren’t based on grades, but on specific criteria. Many are essay contests. Many are based on heritage or affiliation. Many are based on specific talents or abilities. So even though you’re not a “straight A” student, there are scholarships out there that would be a perfect fit for you.

Question: Do I  have to have a long list of extracurricular activities to win a scholarship?

The great thing about scholarships is that you can distinguish yourself by being focused on a particular activity. It’s not how many you have, but what you have spent your time on during your teen years. If you communicate your strengths (such as working all throughout high school), you won’t need a long list of activities.

Question: Are all scholarships the same?

Absolutely not. Scholarships are as varied as people. There are scholarships for academics, writing, inventing, music, lineage, creativity, geographic residence, and the list goes on and on. As I said previously, finding the ones that “fit” is the key to success.

Question: What is the easiest way to find out about scholarships?

Go online to scholarship sites (you can find some on my TOOLS page) and register. Ask your counselor. Visit your local library reference desk.

Sign up for me FREE Ebook for many other suggestions!

admissions, college costs, college guidance, college planning, extracurricular activities, financial aid, scholarships, social networks, test prep

U.S. News & World Report-Best Colleges

This is not a commercial plug for this publication. It is however, an explanation of why I believe this is a MUST read for any college-bound teen. There are three options available for your use:

  • The print edition for $9.95
  • The online edition for $14.95
  • The combo package (print and online) for $19.95

If you don’t want to fork over the cost for either of these, you can browse their website and find a wealth of information.

It is my recommendation that you invest in at least the print version of this publication. If you’re in the process of choosing a college or even widdling down some choices, this publication will give you the needed information to make the right choice.

What does it provide?

  1. It is packed with articles about how to choose a college, how to prepare, how to get in, and how to pay for the education.
  2. It provides information about the best colleges concerning tuition, aid packages, student body, room and board cost, email addresses and website information.
  3. There is also explanation on how they determine their rankings based on several key measures of quality: academic reputation, retention, faculty resources, student selectivity, financial resources, graduation rate performance, and alumni giving rate.
  4. It is an invaluable tool for determining past financial aid packages and will help you gauge if applying to a top-tiered college will be affordable based on alumni giving.
  5. Schools vie for the prestige of being in this publication. If a school makes the list, you can be assured that the quality of the education you receive is worth every penny you spend.

And…Since this is such an invaluable tool for college-bound teens and their parents, here’s what I’m going to do:

To qualify for a giveaway of the U.S. News and World Report 2009 Best Colleges, simply sign up for my College Tips Email and post this on Twitter:

@suzanneshaffer is giving away a FREE U.S. News and World Report-Best Colleges 2009 http://tinyurl.com/kk6zg4

I will be choosing a random winner on June 15th. Spread the word to all your friends who have teens heading off to college !

admissions, college costs, college guidance, college planning, extracurricular activities, scholarships, social networks, Uncategorized

"Has the mail come yet?"

We’ve all asked that question throughout the course of our lives. But for a senior in April, it’s a daily stress point. Because it’s the month that college acceptance letters arrive. It’s the month that all their hard work (and yours) finally pays off. When they rush home from school and open that envelope and see this word, “Congratulations…” (they rarely read past that word) it’s one of those life moments that brings all their high school struggles into perspective.

The New York Times has devoted a series, “The Envelope Please”, to stories of seniors who received that envelope. There are numerous accounts of acceptances and even rejections; because rejection is a part of the process many times and something we all have to learn to deal with. If you’re a parent of a soon-to-be senior, you should read the articles. It might help you with that all-important time down the road.

I remember very clearly that month in my daughter’s life. She had a list of 7 schools that she had applied for admittance. Her #1 choice was Boston University. She had worked so hard with admission interviews, phone calls, and making sure her application was complete. When the letter arrived she was afraid to open the envelope. But when she did, she jumped up and down, screaming with joy and excitement.bu-acceptance-letter

As it turned out, she was accepted to all 7 of the schools that she applied to.  The four years of hard work paid off and the wait was over. Now the decision followed: which school would she be attending? This decision was a difficult one. And one that many parents and teens struggle with. Why? Because for most families, college choice is weighted by the amount of the college’s financial aid package. As it was for our family.

Tomorrow I’ll be talking about that decision and the lessons we learned along the way. If you’re a parent of a college-bound teen, you won’t want to miss that post.

Do you have a teen that just received their acceptance letter this year? What was your experience like? Was it a positive one?

admissions, extracurricular activities

Summertime is Volunteer Time

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I can’t tell you the number of times my kids said, “Mom, I’m bored.” Most of the time, it was during the summer. After the first few days of summer excitement wears off, the boredom begins to set in. And this is the perfect time to encourage your teen to volunteer.

There are several reasons why volunteering is beneficial to your teens:

  1. It’s the right thing to do. It teaches them to give of themselves.
  2. It can help them determine their interests (volunteering at a children’s hospital, at an art or science museum, at a library,teen-volunteers at a sports camp, at Habitat for Humanity–all of which might spur their interest in future careers)
  3. Colleges like to see well-rounded applicants. Volunteering will show them that you a)made valuable use of your time b)that you are a person who is concerned with others.
  4. It teaches them that work can be fulfilling and gives them a head start on having a positive work ethic.
  5. They won’t sit around the house all summer complaining about being bored.

Volunteering is one of those “life lessons” that teaches your teen moral responsibility. The plus is that while they are learning the life lesson, they are improving their chances of college acceptance. For me, it’s a win-win proposition.

If you have any volunteer suggestions or work for a charity or a business that utilizes volunteers, we would love to hear from you. Please leave a comment here for my readers!