Category Archives: in the news

Helping Your Teen Deal with Election Trauma

election

The landscape of politics can be complex and, at times, overwhelming—especially for our teens, who are trying to make sense of the world around them while dealing with their own personal and academic stresses. Election seasons often bring heightened emotions, and the outcomes can spark concerns or fears that are hard for young minds to process.

As a parent, you can play a vital role in helping your teen understand the impact of election results and navigate the emotional landscape that often follows. Here’s how to start these conversations with empathy and insight.

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For All the Moms Raising College-Bound Teens

moms

Mommyhood can be awesome, but it’s also super tough. Between keeping humans alive, managing the house, and being everyone’s emotional cheerleader, it’s no wonder a new study from Cricut found that 85% of moms say they just want more time for self-care practices.

Although taking care of yourself is essential, Cricut’s study found a stark reality that an alarming 60% of women feel overwhelmed with their various roles and daily responsibilities and 65% of women admitted they don’t prioritize self-care as much as they’d like.  

Self-care for moms isn’t just about individual well-being; it’s about healthy families and thriving communities. When mothers are empowered, they can create nurturing environments for their children, fostering positive cycles that benefit everyone.  

Continue reading For All the Moms Raising College-Bound Teens

What Do Colleges Look for in an Applicant?

colleges

The NACAC (National Association for College Admissions Counseling) surveyed their member four-year colleges and you might be interested to know what they found.

The responses indicated that the most important factors in admission decisions were grades and high school courses. According to their recent survey, 77 percent of colleges listed the student’s grades in college prep courses (AP and Honors) as considerably important. High school grades in all courses were considered important by 74 percent of colleges, and the strength of the high school curriculum by 64 percent of colleges surveyed.

Interestingly, the essay had considerable importance by only 19 percent of colleges, with demonstrated interest ranking important by 16 percent of colleges.

Continue reading What Do Colleges Look for in an Applicant?

We Need to Protect Our Children

protect our children

I’m sitting here today thinking about what happened yesterday in my state. Being so close to home for me made it even more difficult to believe and digest. We need to protect our children.

We have so many small towns in Texas. Uvalde is one of them. They are all close knit. Everyone knows everyone. The kids grow up together and the parents know each other’s kids personally. I can’t even begin to imagine how broken this community is or how absolutely devastated and angry those families who lost loved ones are feeling today.

Death is never easy. But when it’s a child and it’s from violence, it’s hard to understand how this could possibly happen. We need to protect our children.

I don’t want to start any political arguments, but it’s time we do something–anything to protect our children.

Continue reading We Need to Protect Our Children

Teaching Your Teen 10 Lessons from the 2020 Election

election

It doesn’t matter which side of the political aisle you are on, the 2020 Election can teach your teen some valuable lessons about life, responsibility and outcomes. Since you are their greatest teacher, take a moment to discern what they are indeed gleaning from your behavior during this election time. There are important lessons for them to learn from this election.

  1. There will always be winners and losers–The sooner they learn this truth the happier they will be. You can’t always be on the winning team and you should always be a good sport about losing.
  2. With freedom comes responsibility–Voting is a responsibility. Vote in EVERY election and take your teens with you. Let them experience this freedom right along side of you. Decisions are made by the people who show up.
  3. Bashing someone else’s beliefs and opinions only makes you small–Don’t be one of those people that rub victory in other people’s face or bash the ones who won. Rise above the temptation and take the high road.
  4. Even though you may not be happy with an outcome of a decision or path you take, you can still move forward–Teach your teens that there is always a road ahead. Mistakes have consequences but you deal with those, learn from them, and go in a positive direction.
  5. Playing the blame game never benefits anyone–If you blame everyone for the way things turn out, you are teaching your teen to do the same. Explain to them that we are all responsible for our OWN actions, not those of others.
  6. Support your leaders and if you don’t agree, take action toward effecting change–This is America and we have elected our leaders, so they should be respected. If you aren’t happy with the people who are in office, work toward the next election. Sitting around voicing hatred for them will only teach your teen to do the same.
  7. We shouldn’t be defined by our political views but by our values–A famous person once said, “We’re not the red states or the blue states, but the UNITED States.” Teach your teens your values and they will carry them into the future.
  8. Your behavior speaks volumes about the kind of person you are–Don’t be one of those that post hateful comments on social media sites. Be the one who focuses on the future and sees  good in everyone.
  9. Negative attitudes make you a very unhappy adult–Negativity breeds defeat, discouragement, and despair. You certainly don’t want your teen to live their life with these attitudes.
  10. You live in the greatest country in the world–Say what you will, but we have FREE elections and every adult is given a vote to decide who governs us. Teach your teens to be proud of our country, our past, and our future.

I have watched all the negative campaign ads for a year. I’ve read Twitter and Facebook feeds for months. Many adults need to apply these 10 principles to their lives. Your college-bound teen is our future; teach them to respect one another and dream. Above all, VOTE!

Teachable Moments About Racism

racism

This has certainly been one of those years. It all began with news of a virus in China. Then it began to spread and the world was in the midst of a pandemic. As time progressed it made it to our country and everyone was frightened and scared. People were dying. There seemed to be no hope. Schools closed. Businesses closed. Churches closed. We all stayed home and waited.

Just when it seemed the outlook was improving, a senseless and cruel act of murder occurred at the hands of a policeman—someone we trusted to protect us. I kept remembering the words spoken in Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner: “All hell done broke lose around here!” Truer words were never spoken. 

I’m certainly not a psychologist or pretend to understand what it’s like to live as a person of color in this country. But I have children and grandchildren and it’s moments like these when they are watching us. They watch how we respond and how we treat others. Raising an independent adult should also involve raising a compassionate human being. 

These are teachable moments.

Violence is not the answer

On September 20, 1958, Izola Ware Curry walked into a Harlem department store where King was signing books and asked, “Are you Martin Luther King?” When he replied “yes,” she stabbed him in the chest with a knife. King survived, and the attempted assassination only reinforced his dedication to nonviolence:

“The experience of these last few days has deepened my faith in the relevance of the spirit of nonviolence, if necessary social change is peacefully to take place.”

Look for the helpers

Mr. Rogers’ mother had the best advice for a time like this—look for the helpers. We looked for the helpers during the pandemic at its worst. We should look for the helpers in the midst of this civil unrest.

Policemen, sheriffs and mayors speaking to the protestors and asking to “walk with them” in solidarity and as a promise to do better. People showing up to help business owners clean up after the damage from the riots. Protestors protecting the police when surrounded by an angry mob. A protestor bringing a case of water to the policemen standing watch. Helpers put all of this into perspective. 

Which brings me to the next teachable moment…

Love one another

Nothing good ever comes from hate. Our children are innocent and loving when born. If they are taught to hate, they will hate. If they are taught to love, they will love. Teach them to unconditionally love their fellow humans. Martin Luther King Jr. said, 

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

Stand with those who are hurting

Every single person who viewed the video of that policeman kneeling on George Floyd’s neck was outraged. There’s no question that he used his position of authority to murder that man and showed no mercy when the man was crying for help. Your teen should know you are outraged and understand why. It should open a discussion about how you feel about racism and give you an opportunity to talk about this issue. If you feel moved to act, allow your teenager to participate if they ask. Nothing will change if we don’t teach our children to be color blind. Martin Luther King Jr. explained it clearly, 

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”

The Obsession with Brand Name Colleges

brand name colleges

Unless you have been hiding under a rock for the last week or so, you’re probably aware of the college cheating scandal now known as #VarsityBlues. Some over-anxious parents found it necessary to pay what they call “bribes” to get their students into what they call “prestigious colleges”. My only question: when will this end?

When will parents stop worrying about WHERE their student goes to college versus WHY they go to college? It’s just as bad to dictate your student’s college choice as it is to assure they get in to the college of your choice.

This is nothing new. Parents have been “paying” for their students to go to brand name colleges for years. They donate huge amounts to colleges to secure a spot for their student. They pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to elite coaching companies to assure admission to an Ivy League university.

The Tiger Mom approach

Years ago, there was quite an uproar among parents regarding a Wall Street Journal piece, “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” by Amy Chua, a professor at Yale University. In an excerpt from Chua’s new book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother”, Chua writes about her quest to assure her children attend an Ivy League college:

Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

  • attend a sleepover
  • have a playdate
  • be in a school play
  • complain about not being in a school play
  • watch TV or play computer games
  • choose their own extracurricular activities
  • get any grade less than an A
  • not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
  • play any instrument other than the piano or violin
  • not play the piano or violin.

Does that sound a bit harsh? It does to most parents. Although Ms. Chua does have a point when it comes to parenting without excuse, there are varying opinions concerning Ms. Chua’s attitude over the way Western parents do not take a strict approach in pushing their kids toward the “best” colleges.

What are the “best” colleges?

Many parents and educators will tell you they are the Ivies. Others will say they are the ones with the most selective admissions process. Many parents today will insist to paid college counselors that their student can only apply to these schools. It’s not about the fit, but it’s about bragging rights and prestige. Can I brag about my student on Facebook, to other parents and to my colleagues. You don’t believe? Just ask those people who do this for a living–I’ve heard this time and time again.

Are these selective colleges best for your student?

Many parents, college admissions counselors, and educators believe they do. They see these colleges as necessities in providing students with a good job after graduation, opening doors because of the alumni network, and the value of a college name when you venture out into the world.

Why pay for your student to attend a selective college?

You shouldn’t. If you feel the need to seek college counseling help, it should be from someone who has your student’s best interest at heart–not yours! One of my colleagues is so convinced of this, he placed this statement on his website:

“If you prefer personal coaching, I do NOT work with families whose only purpose is to get their child into an Ivy League school, or one that reflects the parent’s need to validate themselves through their children.”Https://www.studentbrandstrategy.com/about

What are the “best” colleges?

In my opinion, the “best” colleges are the ones that will give your student a good education at an affordable price: and one that your student chooses as a good fit for them. There are networking opportunities at every college AND the connections your child makes while in college can be made at any university. As in life, college is what you make of it. If your child takes advantage of the education, the networking opportunities, and works at internships during college, graduation will yield job opportunities. Not every family can afford an Ivy League education. Not every student (in spite of Amy Chua’s beliefs) wants or needs to go there. 

If you have to rely on a college name to get ahead in life then I fear you are missing the entire point of education.

San Diego Union Tribune
https://www.gocomics.com/stevebreen/2019/03/13

Here are additional articles that might add to the discussion and help us zero in on the real problem in college admissions:

Kids are the Victims of the Elite College Scandal

The Moral Wages of the College Admissions Mania

The Myth of American Meritocracy

TeenLife Live Event

teenlife live

TeenLife LIVE  is finally here!

Their first ever virtual fair is this Sunday 1/31!

They have 30+ exhibitors, 12 speakers, and 2 sponsors (Microsoft and Fathom) and some really cool giveaways (including a free cruise and surface tablet).

The virtual event covers programs and topics that you care about: College Prep, Summer, Gap, Community Service, STEM, and Health & Wellness. Ask experts questions and live chat with program leaders in each of these areas from the convenience of your laptop, tablet, or phone.

When: Sunday, January 31, 2016 from noon to 6pm.

Where: http://teenlifelive.collegeweeklive.com

What are you waiting for? Register now!

For more information, read this blog post and the FAQ page

Top 5 Must-Read Articles for Parents of the College-Bound

 

must-read articlesOften as I scour the web I find articles I want to share with my parent readers. Apart from tweeting about them and pinning them, this week I would like to highlight them on my blog in hopes that you will examine them further and gather some helpful information.

Following are five must-read articles for parents of the college-bound.

1. On education policy and what Obama left unsaid in the State of the Union

The Washington Post Education section found two things missing from the State of the Union address this year. The first was any rhetoric about fixing the One Child Left Behind law and the second was related to colleges raising tuition prices.

On higher education, Obama in his 2012 and 2013 addresses warned colleges that they must act to contain rising tuition.

In 2012, he said: “We can’t just keep subsidizing skyrocketing tuition. We’ll run out of money. States also need to do their part, by making higher education a higher priority in their budgets. And colleges and universities have to do their part by working to keep costs down.”

In 2013, the president said: “But taxpayers can’t keep on subsidizing higher and higher and higher costs for higher education. Colleges must do their part to keep costs down, and it’s our job to make sure that they do. So, tonight, I ask Congress to change the Higher Education Act so that affordability and value are included in determining which colleges receive certain types of federal aid.”

This year, the language was much less pointed.

Read More: http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/on-education-policy-and-what-obama-left-unsaid-in-the-state-of-the-union/2014/01/30/f48a5288-89c3-11e3-916e-e01534b1e132_story.html

2. Many colleges are misleading students about financial aid requirements

A prominent House Democrat, Rep. Elijah Cummings, said that some universities are requiring students to complete additional forms besides the FAFSA to be eligible for financial aid.

. . . more than 100 colleges and universities, including some in the nation’s capital, are providing students with unclear or potentially misleading information about what forms they must submit to apply for federal financial aid.

Often colleges require students to submit additional forms — which carry a fee — to qualify for grants from the institutions themselves or from other entities.

But too often, Cummings said, universities fail to spell out clearly what is required for which type of aid. He said that failure can leave students with the false impression that FAFSA is not the only application needed for federal aid.

“Congress banned this practice in 1992 because it creates undue hurdles for students seeking federal student aid,”

Read More: http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/congressman-many-colleges-are-misleading-students-about-financial-aid-requirements/2014/02/03/c5bcf13a-8d16-11e3-833c-33098f9e5267_story.html

3. Community College enrollment drops

Surprisingly, as the economy begins to rebound, community college enrollment is dropping. Many believe community college is considered a low-cost alternative to university expense.

Nationally, community college leaders are worried that falling enrollment will squeeze their revenue. Some, like their counterparts at four-year colleges, are searching for “enrollment management” strategies to bolster their bottom line.

“These enrollment drops are of great concern as colleges try to balance their budgets,” David Baime, senior vice president for government relations at the American Association of Community Colleges. “I have talked to a number of presidents who are making difficult decisions.”

Read more: http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/education/data-on-community-college-enrollment-drop/2014/01/23/6ac258a4-8435-11e3-8099-9181471f7aaf_story.html

4. How colleges define merit aid

A group of college presidents went to the White House Thursday to talk about new efforts to attract more low-income students to higher education, admissions leaders gathered here and talked about how they define merit.

When colleges say “merit aid,” in this context, they mean “a student or family with sufficient means to pay for college education but they want to get a good deal and they want bragging rights,” she said. “So-called merit aid is awarded neither because the student has earned it nor because we are meeting the objectives of our colleges.”

Read more:  http://www.insidehighered.com/news/2014/01/17/admissions-leaders-gather-and-consider-how-define-merit

5. High school follows you

A new study suggests that high school grades have a greater effect on college grades than you might think. A poor high school student is more likely to struggle in college.

The study by the National Bureau of Economic Research examines the college grades of students admitted to the University of Texas at Austin through the “10 percent program” in which the top students at every Texas high school have been guaranteed admission (although the percentage has been reduced somewhat since the plan was created).

The study found that the quality of high school is a key predictor of grades in college, not only in freshman year, but continuing into the sophomore and junior years as well.

Read more: http://www.insidehighered.com/news/2014/01/27/study-finds-impact-attending-poor-high-school-follows-one-college