Category Archives: mom approved tips

mom approved tips

Mom-Approved Tips: Q&A on College Topics

 

college topicsI’ve always been opinionated. Sometimes it’s gotten me into trouble, but it’s never stopped me from voicing my opinions on college topics. I’ve written posts voicing my opinions about Greek life and about forcing your child to go to college if he/she isn’t interested. It seems in the college business, everyone has an opinion. And here are just a few of the debates that have parents spinning:

Should you pay for test prep?

There’s nothing wrong with paid test prep. But if your child isn’t interested and doesn’t pay attention, it’s a waste of money. Before you invest some of your hard earned money, do some research. Would individual tutoring be a better fit for your student? Is a big class environment the best buy, especially since all teachers are not created equal? Look at the online tutoring programs and read recommendations on each. Don’t believe the claims that they can give your student a perfect score on the SAT/ACT or that they will raise their scores 500-700 points.

Are Ivy League colleges a good investment?

I don’t have anything against Ivy League colleges. But don’t fool yourself into thinking that just because a college has a famous name or high tuition that your student will get a better education there. Your student can get a good education at any number of colleges that might be a better fit for them. Since these colleges are very selective and the competition is fierce, unless your student is a top candidate, don’t waste your time.

Should you allow your student to take on student loan debt?

Nobody wants their student to incur student loan debt. But for some families, it’s a reality they can’t avoid. Before you sign on the dotted line, however, investigate repayment options and the pay for the degree your student is pursuing. It just doesn’t make sense to borrow $100,000 for college and not be able to repay it. A little bit of student loan debt isn’t bad–it gives them an investment in their education and they will take it seriously. Aside from that, there are all kinds of creative ways to avoid taking on too much student loan debt.

Should you do scholarship searches?

I’m a big proponent of scholarship searching. You don’t have to spend hours at a time, but allocate some time each day to do the searches. And when I talk about searching, I’m not just advocating online search engines like Zinch. Don’t forget to search locally for scholarships with the least amount of applicants which increases your chances to win.

What about for profit colleges?

Two words: buyer beware. For profit colleges lure students in by promising financing. This is always in the form of student loans. Look for accreditation and read the student recommendations before signing up for classes.

Is college a business or an institution of learning?

College is first and foremost a business–more than an institution of higher learning. If that’s the case, you need to be a wise consumer. Colleges are marketing their business to parents and students. It’s your right, as a consumer, to ask questions and search for bargains. Don’t be intimidated by colleges. It’s a huge consumer purchase that you should take as seriously as you did buying your home.

Should you let your student take a gap year?

I’m not against gap years for students. But set some guidelines before you agree. Put together a plan to use the year wisely, whether by traveling and working, internships, apprenticeships, and working to save money. Don’t let your student become a couch potato and accomplish little or nothing during the year.

Should you hire a college counselor?

College counselors can be a useful investment for parents. However, do some comparison shopping and ask for a list of past clients or testimonials. Not every parent can afford a counselor, however. Fortunately there are alternatives to personalized counseling online by reading blogs, books, and attending Twitter chats.

If you have any other questions, please comment here and I’ll be happy to answer them for you.

mom approved tips, parenting, Uncategorized

Mom-Approved Tips: Teach Your Kids the Value of Money

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money

Before you send your kids off to college, they need to learn about the value of money. Ideally, it starts at an early age; but if you haven’t started, there’s no time like the present!

When your kids are away at college they are going to be responsible for their own spending (and saving). There will be offers galore from credit card companies because college students are their biggest target market. If they hook them while in college it usually means they have them for the rest of their lives.

My parents never taught me these lessons and I wish they had. I never did chores, had to save for anything I wanted, or learned how to use credit wisely. I have to admit I didn’t do the best in this area of parenting either. But I have learned over the years that if you neglect these lessons, your kids will suffer.

Following are just a few tips to help you teach your kids the value of money:

Establish chores

You can get them accustomed to chores at an early age, providing an allowance based on their age and the amount of chores they do. They should know how to do their own laundry, clean bathrooms, and cook meals. Not only will you be teaching them that hard work produces reward, but these skills will serve them well when they are living on their own.

Teach them to earn what they want

If a child works to earn something, they value it more. If you want to buy them a car, purchase a used one that needs repair and teach them to work on the repairs themselves. If they want a large ticket item, encourage them to get a part-time job and earn the money to pay for it. Save the gifts for Christmas and birthdays. Once they learn this simple truth, it will be much easier to explain to them that you expect them to contribute financially to their college education.

Explain the difference between wants and needs

This is a valuable lesson they will carry with them into adulthood. Today’s kids are accustomed to instant gratification; but saving for something teaches them that just because they want something, it doesn’t mean they need it. If they are committed to save for it, they will re-examine whether or not they truly need it. When they are away at college, this will be the first question they ask themselves before pulling out an easily obtained credit card.

Encourage giving

Giving to others will show kids how to bless others when they are blessed. Finding people in need will give than an appreciation for their own blessings and cause them to re-evaluate those “things” that they find so important in lieu of saving to help others.

Teach them to save

Putting money away in a piggy bank or savings account teaches them to save for future purchases. When they learn this, you are teaching them to plan for the future and this should follow them into adulthood.

Always remember that kids mirror their parents’ behaviors. If they see you frivolously spending and raking up credit card debt, they will follow your example when they go off to college.

mom approved tips, parenting

Mom-Approved Tips: Moms Blogging About College

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moms bloggingSince I’m a mom, and you’re most likely a mom (or dad), you feel a kindred spirit with other parents, especially if they have been through or are going through the college prep process.

Aside from my blog, Parents Countdown to College Coach, there are other moms out there sharing their stories, their knowledge and their expertise. Below is my favorite list of nine moms blogging about college, add mine and it’s 10!

1. Dr. Strange College

This mom chronicles the college prep process as she experiences it with her kids. You will find excellent “how to” information and tips on how to motivate and keep your college-bound teen organized. What’s great about this blog? You can walk through the process with her.

2. How to Win Scholarships Money Blog

This mom helps you with the scholarship search process and with scholarship applications. Her blog highlights various scholarships and give parents tips on how to make their student’s scholarship application stand out.

3. Smart College Visit

This is a blog dedicated to help parents with the college visit and provides other advice for parents as well in the form of weekly tips.

4. More Than a Test Score

This blog, hosted by Zinch, has a parents tab that speaks specifically to parents. How do you know it’s a mom writing the blog posts? The majority of the posts were written by me!

5. POCSMom Blog

This parent of college student mom helps parents de-stress during the college prep process offering advice on how to relax and laugh when you get overwhelmed. She also  collaborates with me on a weekly blog post: Wednesday’s Parent.

6. Galtime-Parenting Tweens and Teens

Galtime is an online magazine for women, but if you go to their Parenting-Tweens and Teens tab you’ll find all kinds of advice on parenting college-bound teens, most written by moms.

7. The Perfect Score Project

This mom made it her goal to take the SAT test and get a perfect score while studying along with her son (and now daughter). Having trouble motivating your teen to study? This is the blog to read.

8. How to Pay for College HQ

This isn’t a blog; it’s a podcast. But this mom does transcribe each weekly podcast with information and links from her guests. Her goal is to send her four children to college without incurring debt–and she’s gathering together all the experts to pick their brains about it. Subscribe to her podcasts. You won’t regret it!

9. The Neurotic Parent

This mom started this blog while on an eight-state college tour with her oldest son. Her Neurotic Parent Archives offer some excellent advice for parents of college-bound teens with a little humor and sarcasm to the mix.

Do yourself a favor and check out these blogs, follow their RSS feeds, and sign up for their mailing lists to get updates when they post.

mom approved tips, parenting

Mom-Approved Tips: A Different Take on Helicopter Parenting

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helicopter parenting

It’s no surprise that parents have become so involved in their kids’ lives that school administrators have begun to label us; helicopter parent, snow plow parent, and bulldozer parent. But it can’t all be bad; after all, parents are actually involved. Is this a bad thing? As with anything there are extremes. And it’s possible that a few bad parenting experiences have shed a negative light on all of us.

Let’s take a look at the benefits of helicopter parenting:

Parents who are involved tend to have academically successful students.

Studies show kids who have parents that stay involved from Kindergarten to 12th grade are more likely to excel academically. Why? Involved parents help students with studies, organization and make sure they do their assignments. They also stay on top of grades and can recognize any problems that may require extra help.

Parents who are involved have students who are less likely to participate in at-risk behaviors.

Students whose parents are involved in their lives are going to find it harder to participate in at-risk behaviors. Why? Parents who know their kid’s friends, encourage activities at home, and encourage their kids to participate in after school activities help the kids learn responsibility and commitment. They have little time to get into trouble.

Parents who are invested financially and encourage their students to invest financially have students who take their education seriously.

College is a large financial commitment. When parents commit to invest, and insist that their student invest, the student will be more likely to see the value of that investment. That translates into academic success and a successful college education.

In The Student Affairs Feature, “It’s Time to Change our Views on Parental Involvement”, Beth Moriarty, sums it up like this:

It’s a fact that some parents do get overly involved in their student’s life. But saying that all parents are helicopter parents is wrong. Our roles as parents have changed and evolved over the years. Today’s parents are invested in their student’s educational future and success . . . Should parents be embraced as partners and should the colleges help parents embrace that role?

My mother used to say, “Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.” I think that is the best way to look at helicopter parenting. Embrace the good things about this type of parenting and avoid the behaviors that cause educators to label us.

financial aid, mom approved tips

Mom-Approved Tips: Don’t Ignore the FAFSA

 

FAFSAThe most important advice I can give parents is: don’t ignore the FAFSA! Many parents are misinformed when it comes to the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA). They believe that they make too much money to qualify for any kind of financial aid—and they decide not to file. That is the worst mistake you can make. I encourage every family of a college-bound senior complete the FAFSA (and complete it before February 1).

Why should you complete the FAFSA?

College is expensive and it’s a chance for you to grab yourself a piece of the financial aid pie.

Why should you complete it early?

The early bird gets the worm when it comes to financial aid. If you want your piece of the pie, you have to be the first in line. Once financial aid packages are disbursed, the money is gone and that means your student’s financial aid package will be composed of student loans only. If your form is filed and completed once the decision for admission is made it puts your student in a good position to receive some of those funds.

What can the FAFSA do for you and your college-bound teen?

There could be federal, state and college funds available. If you don’t complete the FAFSA, you won’t be able to get any of them. Even if your family income is high and you might not qualify for federal aid in the form of grants, your student might be eligible for state scholarships and merit-aid awards from the college. Additionally, any federally subsidized loans, including parent loans, require you to complete the FAFSA.

Why do some people tell you that you won’t qualify for financial aid?

The easy answer is they are misinformed. Remember there are all kinds of financial aid. While not everyone will qualify for federal grants, most students receive some form of financial aid. If you don’t apply your student will not be one of them.

mom approved tips, organization

Mom-Approved Tips: Staying organized in 2014

 

staying organizedThe New Year is upon us and high school students are gearing up for all types of college-related activities. Juniors and seniors especially are looking toward the upcoming year with anticipation and excitement. There are many tasks to complete and many decisions to be made, but the key to gliding through the process is staying organized.

Here are just a few tips that should help make 2014 a successful year and keep your student organized during the college prep process:

Cleanliness is next to godliness

Teenagers are infamous for messes; their rooms are no exception. It’s no surprise that you’re more productive when your space is clean and organized. Their floor should not be a filing cabinet. You can help by providing them with the tools they need to stay organized. A study station, filing cabinets, wall calendars should help, along with calendars and to-do lists on their smartphones. When any type of college related correspondence comes in, establish a landing space that will help you locate the information when needed.

Tame the email monster

Students will be bombarded with emails from colleges, scholarship search engines, teachers and admissions officers. Get started early by creating an email address specifically for college correspondence: firstname_lastname@gmail.com. Use this email address for all communication and create folders to organize the incoming and outgoing mail.

Show me the money

If you expect to get financial aid, you need to be organized. From scholarship applications to completing the FAFSA, you have to stay on top of deadlines, forms and requirements. Missing deadlines and leaving out essential information could cost you and your teen substantial savings. Establish an organization system early in high school and the scholarship search will be less stressful.

Put your best foot forward

Recommendation letters and college interviews require planning and preparation. Long before requesting those letters, students should be establishing relationships with teachers and mentors. They should be networking with the college admissions officers and doing background research about each school. These tasks require organization and planning.

Make a list and check it twice

The college search process begins with a list—a list of colleges that your student is considering for application. This list begins by putting together a wish list of majors, locations, college services and activities and of course, financial aid data. Before the applications are filed, make sure every item on the wish list is satisfied and the colleges your student chooses meet all their expectations.

Staying organized is never easy. It requires a list of priorities and a commitment to complete the daily tasks as planned. An organized student is a successful student. Commit to staying organized in 2014.

mom approved tips, online learning, Sponsored posts, Uncategorized

Mom-Approved Tips: A mother speaks out about online learning

 

online learningAs an educator, I’ve always been a bit wary of online educational programs. Can anything truly replace the interactive learning experience that students get in a traditional classroom, sharing ideas with each other and with their teacher?

Then my son announced that he had enrolled in an online degree program to get his Masters of Library Science degree. I knew that he needed the degree to further his career as a librarian, but I was disappointed that he had decided to enroll in an online program instead of a “real” classroom.

Well, my son proved me wrong. As I watched him go through the accelerated MLS program and earn his degree, I learned that every prejudice I had about online degree programs was unfounded. Here’s what I learned:

Online programs are held to the same academic standards as traditional degree programs

When online programs first launched nearly two decades ago, they were derided for being “buy your degree” programs. Well, times have changed. For professional degree programs, online courses are no longer seen as second-best; they are often the most efficient and effective way to accelerate your education and receive a degree. Online RN to BSN programs, for example, are every bit as rigorous as brick-and-mortar programs, and the nurses they graduate are every bit as capable. Likewise, my son’s MLS program included the same academic high standards as any college course I’ve ever taught.

Students who are apprehensive regarding online degrees should consider the fact that countless schools have started adopting this fairly new method of teaching with excellent results. Once students discover that online programs are held to essentially the same standards as any other institution, they will begin to see the advantages. Students can work hard to achieve countless excellent degrees such as a Master of Arts in Communication, a Master of Business Administration, or even their M.S. in Engineering Management. All the student needs to do is make the first move and sign up.

Online programs encourage in-class participation

I was worried that my son wouldn’t get to take part in the natural banter that occurs in a traditional classroom, the type of back-and-forth conversation that results in so many “eureka” moments for young learners. Then I watched him contribute to his online program’s forums and chat programs. He wasn’t participating less during his online courses — in fact, just the opposite. Because of the unique nature of the online classroom, my son was actually able to participate more.

During a traditional class session, students are only able to contribute during small portions of the learning period — perhaps 15 minutes every hour depending on the course. During an online course, students carry on continuous conversations via computer which later spill into Facebook chats and Skype sessions. When I saw how much my son was learning from his peers, and how much he was sharing with them in return, I was amused that I ever thought that online programs would inhibit conversation.

Online programs include in-person lab components

“How can you become a librarian without doing hands-on work in a library?” I asked my son. Then he told me about his “lab courses,” which did in fact take place in a university campus library. Similarly, my friend who is getting her BSN had lab courses that took place in hospitals. Online courses do not eliminate the necessary in-person work; the courses simply allow students to complete several coursework components online.

Online programs help students get jobs

I’m a bit embarrassed to say that one of the reasons I was nervous about my son starting an online program was that I was afraid it would not help him get a job. Once again, my fears were unfounded. Online degrees do in fact lead to employment, and having an online degree on the resume does not devalue a candidate. As always, the type of degree you choose helps determine your job opportunities. The US News and World Report recently released a list of top online degrees that lead to good jobs; my BSN friend will be very pleased, as nursing is high on the list.

Online learning is here to stay, and I’m grateful it has done so much to help students further their education. Watching my son earn his degree, I learned a lot about how online courses work, and was pleased to learn that they did an excellent job of preparing him for his current job as a librarian.

___________________

About The Author: This is a guest post by Kyle Johnson. Kyle has been blogging online since her kids were under 10 years old! Kyle likes writing about parenting, family experiences, and education. She has used her hands on experience to provide insight to the life of a parent and a teacher!

admissions, college costs, college guidance, college planning, college transfer, mom approved tips

Mom-Approved Tips: Questions parents ask about college

 

Questions parents ask about collegeOver the years, parents have cornered me and asked me questions about the college admissions process and their college-bound teens. While those questions are varied, and sometimes specific as they relate to their own circumstances, parents undoubtedly have questions about the college prep process and beyond. Following are some of the most common questions parents ask about college.

About choosing a college

How many colleges do you think my teen should apply to?

Here’s a good formula: 3 reach colleges (colleges that might be a reach but still attainable), 4 good fit colleges (colleges that are a good match for the student), 3 safety colleges (colleges that the student will be at the top of the applicant pool). Having choices also means the colleges are in competition, which translates into negotiation for you with the financial aid package.

What’s the most important tip you could give me about the college admissions process?

Find those “perfect fit” colleges. Do the research and evaluate choices based on student body, academic programs, college visits, location and financial aid awards. If the college is a good fit, they will value the student for his/her contribution to the student body. Those are the colleges you want in your application pool.

About financial aid

Should I fill out the FAFSA even though I think we make too much money to qualify for financial aid?

YES. YES. YES. The FAFSA is what colleges use to determine your EFC (Expected Family Contribution) which is used to determine the financial aid package. This package is NOT just federal aid. It’s composed of grants, scholarships and loans (much of which is merit-aid directly from the colleges themselves). If you don’t fill it out, your teen can’t get ANY of that money.

We can’t afford to pay for college, does that mean our teen won’t be able to go?

There are all kinds of ways to finance a college education: student loans, work-study, college grants and scholarships. Everyone qualifies for parent and student loans. But be wise about your borrowing and consider the best options. Paul Hemphill with Pre College Prep has come up with a GREAT way to attend college on the cheap!

About SAT scores

My teen’s SAT scores aren’t that great; will it affect their admissions chances?

The bottom line is that most colleges do look at those SAT scores. But, it’s just part of the overall picture. The best advice I can give is MAKE CONTACT with an admissions representative from EVERY college your teen is applying to. This PERSONAL contact can and will make a difference when the admissions application is reviewed. Do this by visiting and making an appointment to speak with them. Then hang on to their card and stay in contact until acceptance letters arrive.

About organization

My teen is so scatter-brained and we keep missing deadlines–how can I help them get organized?

Set up a landing zone for college material. Use a desk, a file cabinet, a bulletin board, and a wall calendar to keep track of deadlines. Start this freshman year and remind them that their floor is NOT the landing zone. Once they get used to bringing everything to that one spot, it will be easier to find, file and locate all the college related materials.

About dealing with rejection

What do you do when your student is rejected? How do you handle your feelings? How do you handle your student’s feelings?

When it arrives you may want to try and spin it into a positive. Resist that temptation. It’s upsetting to both you and your student. Allow some time to display the emotions related to the disappointment and the feelings of rejection. It’s only natural to feel them and it certainly hasn’t been the first or the last time your student will be disappointed. Parents take these letters personally. How dare they reject MY child! Our disappointment can often overshadow the feelings our student has. Be careful and don’t project your disappointment on to your student. He/she feels bad enough already; the last thing they need to feel is that they disappointed their parents by not getting accepted.

Every student reacts differently. Some might shrug it off (to your surprise) and others might see this as the end of their world as they know it. The hardest part of this whole college process is dealing with disappointment and rejection. All the truisms in the world won’t help at this moment. Hold them, hug them, and let them know that you feel their pain. Don’t spout off truisms like “it will be ok” or “you don’t want to go there if they don’t want you.” Your student needs the time to deal with their disappointment and move on.

Once the time has passed and your student is able to be objective, use this as a life lesson. Remind them that there is a place for them and that there is a college where they will feel wanted and accepted. Point out that life is filled with disappointments that often turn into opportunities and you never know what lies ahead on the path you might not have originally chosen.

Every child faces disappointment and rejection throughout their life and a parent’s goal should be to help them face those hurtful times with love and perspective.

About college discontent

What do I do when my student wants to drop out of college or talks about transferring during the first semester?

Before you say anything listen to their reasons. Don’t scream and yell, listen. Your student is upset and needs to voice how they feel. It may not be logical or even feasible, but they need to vent and you need to listen. Stay calm and approach this by treating them as an adult. Use reasoning first and see if that helps. Most freshmen get immediately homesick, especially if they don’t get along with their new roommate or their coursework is overwhelming them. Usually by the end of the first semester they have settled in and have made some friends. Usually.

There may be very good financial reasons for them to stick it out and then re-evaluate at the end of the first year. It’s rare that your student will use finances as an excuse to transfer, but if they do, be prepared to answer with a logical explanation.

Is there a friend or a boyfriend encouraging them to move back home or join them where they are? This is the worst reason. Help them to understand that they made the choice to leave and it’s time for them to move on with their life. Holding on to the past will only cause them to miss the benefits of the future. They may be adults but you, almost always, hold the purse strings.

In most cases, you should stand your ground—at least until the end of the first year. Tell your student that if he/she still feels the same way at the end of the year you can revisit the option. It’s my experience that most students, later in life, thank their parents for giving them some tough love when they needed it.

I’m not saying it’s easy to listen to their pain and not act. And in some instances their mental health is much more important than drawing a line in the sand. But you know your child and you will know when they are just too unhappy and miserable to remain where they are. In some cases, they just chose the wrong school.

admissions, mom approved tips

Mom-Approved Tips: Stop stressing about college rejections

 

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college rejectionsIt’s that time of year. As the New Year approaches and regular admission dates loom in the very close future, parents begin stressing about college rejection. Although not as much as their kids do. Probably the most stressful time of senior year is waiting to hear from the colleges and dreading the wrong response. Why does this happen and what has caused everyone to be so stressed?

College elitism

Colleges have increased their marketing efforts toward parents and students. They use words like “elite”, “prestigious”,“top-tiered”, “Ivy League”, and “America’s Best Colleges” to lure students to apply. Many colleges are struggling financially and their goal is to acquire the best students with the deepest pockets. They promise results after graduation in the form of job offers from companies who promise high salaries and benefits. It’s no wonder the pressure is on to get offers of acceptance from these colleges.

Parent competition

The parent competition these days is fierce. It’s become almost insane the way some parents will do just about anything to get their student into one of these colleges. They will plop down huge amounts of cash, offer endowments, hire expensive college coaches, hire test tutors, and even go so far as to hire a professional writer to author their kid’s college essay. It’s often not about their kid’s future, but more about their bragging rights.

Student competition

The competition to get into college is greater than it ever has been. Education has such great value in the marketplace. Years ago, a bachelor’s degree was enough to put you at the top of the applicant pool. In today’s job market, the college degree is almost crucial to even be considered for employment. More and more students are applying to college and it’s become somewhat of a status symbol to brag about the colleges they are accepted to.

Stop stressing

Stop stressing about college rejections. In the bigger picture, which school your student attends has less to do with success than you might think. In a recent article by Jay Matthews, an education blogger for the Washington Post, college selectivity has little to do with success after graduation:

A 1999 paper by Princeton economist Alan Krueger and Mathematica Policy research scholar Stacy Berg Dale reported that, except for low-income students, the selectivity of students’ colleges did not correlate with their success in life, as measured by income. More influential were what the researchers called “unobserved characteristics,” such as persistence, humor and warmth.

It’s interesting that students usually develop these character traits long before they get to college. If you want to succeed, worry less about what college you get into and more about doing your homework, taking care of your chores and being nice to other people, as mothers have been saying for a long time. Whatever college accepts you, see it as a treasure trove of people and ideas that will lead you to a great life, maybe even a governorship, if that’s your dream. It is a very American story sometimes forgotten in our fashionable yearning for colleges that reject the most applicants.

Read the rest of his article to see some interesting statistics.

Additionally, sometimes those roads less traveled make all the difference. You never know in the grand scheme of things if a smaller, less prestigious college could be the perfect place for you student. Considering only 27 percent of students who enroll in college graduate, all the stressing in the world isn’t going to guarantee success. You can get a good, if not better, education from some of the less known or less popular colleges. It’s not about which college your student attends, but more about the fact that they do attend college.

admissions, mom approved tips

Mom-Approved Tips: Waiting for admissions decisions

 

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waiting for college admissionsAnd so it begins–the waiting game. Every parent of a college-bound teen has to experience this right of passage: waiting for admissions decisions. Will she or won’t she get in to her dream college? Will she get enough financial aid to ease the financial burden? How will she react to the news (good or bad)?

If your teen applies EA (Early Action) or ED (Early Decision) the wait should be over soon. For those of you whose teens have chosen regular admissions, the wait will be much longer. During the waiting period, tension ensues in the household with both students and their parents. The stress over college admissions decisions can weigh heavy on your college-bound teen. It’s more important to them than getting asked to the senior prom. So, as I’ve said before, “gird your loins”!

What can you do to help ease the pressure and alleviate some of the stress?

Create diversions

Family activities, especially over the holidays, will help them push the anxiety and stress to the back of their minds. Diversions will help them focus on other things besides what they consider to be the “ultimate acceptance or rejection” from the colleges.

Focus on their strengths

When you see them do something “grand”, acknowledge it. Even the little things like helping a friend with homework or taking the time to give a younger sibling attention. This well improve their self esteem and if and when a rejection letter arrives the blow might be a little softer.

Reinforce your love for them

You may think your kids know how you feel, but use every opportunity to tell them and show them you love them. Your love will help them with the anxiety and stress. They will find it much easier to discuss their distress when they know you love them.

Take a second look at the safety schools

With so much competition for college admission, it’s likely your college-bound teen will gain an offer of admission to one of their safety schools. Surprisingly, many students tell stories of how their safety school was a better choice, especially after they examined their strengths.

Remind them that this is only one step in the rest of their life

No parent likes their child to face rejection; but it’s a fact of life. I like to remind parents and students that often what you consider to be a disappointment could create another opportunity for success and growth. One (or more) rejection does not define who you are, just as offers of admission do not as well. The key is to attend the college that wants you and best fits your needs and expectations.

Celebrate their success

They have made it through 12 years of school and are able to apply to college. That’s an accomplishment in itself. Focus on this milestone in their life while you wait.

Parenting college-bound teens can be challenging, but it’s also very rewarding when you see them become independent adults who embrace their futures.