It’s that time of year again. Parents are moving their brand-new college students into college dorms. Tears are flowing. Anxiety abounds. Parents have dreaded move-in day for months and sadness permeates just about every single post on social media.
I do remember crying; but not because I was sad. I was joyously happy. Both my children were attending college. I thought it might not happen. Finances were tight from caring for an elderly great aunt and an aging father. We were living paycheck to paycheck and I knew if college were to be a reality, my children would have to score some hefty scholarships and merit aid. Both of their senior years were stressful.
My son wanted to attend a military academy, but his grades just weren’t good enough. Knowing we couldn’t pay for college, he made the choice to join the Marines out of high school so he could use the GI Bill funds to attend either during his service or after serving his four years.
My daughter’s grades were superior. Two years later, I knew that we had to focus on scholarship applications and choosing colleges that met a major portion of our financial need. She was admitted to a prestigious college in Boston with enough merit aid and scholarships to pay for her education with minimal student loans.
All this to say, I had a completely different perspective on college move-in day. It was not only a dream come true for each of them, but a dream come true of mine as well. After all the struggles and the stress, both of them were attending college.
I just couldn’t be sad, because this is what I felt:
Extreme pride
My daughter worked so hard to get into college in Boston. It was her dream from the time she was a little girl. And she did it. My son knew what he had to do to achieve his goal and he served his country while earning money for college. I couldn’t have been prouder of both of them.
A sense of accomplishment
We did it. It wasn’t just their success. It was ours as parents as well. We supported them through the entire process and we were finally seeing the fruit of our hard work and perseverance. It was no small feat for either of them or for us knowing the roadblocks and struggles we encountered.
Hope for their future
They were both, in their own way, pursuing their education and securing a solid future in the workforce. It’s what every parent wants for their children—a better life and a secure future. College would be that for each of them and I was hopeful that after four years we would rejoice when they were gainfully employed at a career they loved.
Excitement for the adventures they would have
Both would be attending college in Boston, a city full of activity, sports, history and populated with college students. My daughter wanted to pledge a sorority and study abroad. My son was excited to learn all about Boston and the history there while he pursued a History major. What better place than the place where our nation began? I knew they were facing some grand adventures and travel. I knew they would may forever friends. I knew that college would change them in ways I could never imagine and I would get to share in that growth as I watched and participated at times.
Joy that I got to be a part of this monumental day in their lives
Move-in day was certainly chaotic for both my children. My daughter moved into a freshman dorm where she didn’t know anyone. My son moved into an apartment with strangers. But they weren’t the least bit anxious or hesitant. It was exciting to meet their roommates and their parents. It was fun to participate in the parent events and do some last-minute shopping. We made the most of the few days I was there and I was so happy I got to be a part of it.
Anticipation for the next chapter in our lives
Even though my great aunt and father were still living with us, I knew we would be childless for the first time in our lives. I looked forward to traveling, going out on dates together, attending parent weekends, and getting to know one another again. I was also anticipating having a new kind of relationship with my adult children as they mature and grow independently away from home.
All this to say—cry those tears, feel the loss, and grieve a little on move-in day. But while you are at it, celebrate what that day means. Shed a few tears of joy and anticipation. The next chapter in your life, whether it’s an empty nest or simply one less child at home, can be exciting for you and for your family.