The world we now live in is resoundingly different than the world we grew up in. Applying to college has become the norm and parents and students take it seriously. The competition to get into college can be overwhelming at times for both parents and students.
Parenting has changed
In the 50’s, our parents let us have the run of the neighborhood. We rode our bikes everywhere, walked home from school alone, and rode the bus to the movies alone. In the summer, we left the house early in the morning and returned home in time for dinner. Our teachers terrified us and we knew if we misbehaved, our parents would back them up. There were no car seats or safety belts. You would never find anti-bacterial soap or even consider using it. When we turned 18, we either went to college or got a full-time job and moved out of the house.
began to change. Because of Adam Walsh, we watched our kids like a hawk. We weren’t quite ready to take away their freedom, but we worried. We worried about where they were, who they were with, and what dangers they might encounter when they were at school, outside, and at the mall. Parents began to question a teacher’s authority and loosened the grip on the discipline of their children. Spanking became taboo and “time out” emerged as a parenting technique.
At the beginning of the 21st century helicopter parenting emerged. It’s not like we planned for it to happen. It just did. We sheltered our children from any disappointment. Everyone on the team got a trophy. There were no winners or losers. We questioned all school authority. We would never consider letting them walk home alone or play outside without supervision. If they forgot their lunch, we took it to them. If they left their homework at home, we took it to school. We began to make every decision for them and protect them from every consequence. We began to feel the “parent peer pressure” for our children to be the best and the greatest. If they graduated from college and couldn’t find a job, they came home to live and thus the term “boomerang” generation was born.
How do you walk the tightrope of helicopter parenting?
How do we raise our children in this frightening world without overprotecting them from the disappointments and trials of life? What are the long-term risks of helicopter parenting?
Combine a little of the 50’s parenting, some of the 80’s style of parenting, and a very small amount of the 21st century parenting for the perfect parenting balance. There’s a fine line between cautious parenting and being a helicopter mom.
Ask yourself this question–Do you want your children to be independent successful adults or do you want them living in your basement for years and years depending on you to pay their bills and take care of them? Is it conceivable they will be going off to college and surviving alone, or calling you every day crying for help, or needing assistance with every life task? Will they be running home because they simply can’t survive without you?
My guess–your answers to every one of these questions would be a resounding NO!
You’re likely to feel a little anxious about the idea of your teen going off to college. Your years of being able to protect and coddle your child are about to end, and you know how cruel the world can be.
One fear that you might have about your teen going off to college is that of drug and alcohol abuse. Many teens face problems such as peer pressure and the need to fit in with the “everybody’s doing it” crowd.
Here are some tips for talking to your teen about the dangers of succumbing to peer pressure and risky behavior in college.
Avoid Sounding Too Autocratic
The tone of your conversation is the most critical factor in reaching your college-bound teen about an essential topic like alcohol and drug abuse.
Young persons tend to get defensive if they feel as though a parental figure is “laying down the law” or restricting their lives. You should approach your child as if you are a friend and not so much a parent.
The best way to approach this subject is to wait until you can have a calm discussion about the matter. You might want to discuss it after dinner or while you’re driving somewhere with your teen.
Reassure Your Teen of Your Love and Trust
Your teen needs to know that you respect their independence and that you trust their judgment. At the same time, you must help them understand that unfamiliar situations are going to arise. They’ll have to deal with people who don’t have the best intentions.
Let your teen know that he or she will come across people from a variety of family backgrounds and cultures. Those backgrounds and cultures might clash with the ones that you established as you were raising your teen.
Tell your child that it’s okay to stand his or her ground and not go along with suggested behavioral changes just because it may seem trendy to others.
Draw From Your Experiences
Storytelling is an effective way to reach your teen about alcohol and drug recovery. It will help you to connect with your teen emotionally, and it will display your empathetic nature.
If you can think of a time that you overcame peer pressure, you should tell your teen a story about it. Tell your child who presented the peer pressure and what you did to overcome it.
Alternatively, you can share an experience that you had experimenting with drugs or alcohol. Be honest if you ever had to seek alcohol and drug recovery.
Use Scientific or News-Based Quotes
Sometimes, young people don’t believe anything until they can see hard evidence that it’s not good for them. In that case, you might want to gather news reports and statistics that pertain to drug and alcohol recovery.
Find articles and statistics about the health hazards of drugs and alcohol. Collect news stories about college students who have suffered the negative effects of drugs or alcohol.
Many students have failed out of college, gotten into accidents, and lost their lives because of substance abuse. Your teen needs to know the reality of such incidents. Don’t sugarcoat the truth at all.
Boost Your Teen’s Self-Esteem
It’s important to point out your teen’s good qualities when you’re discussing peer pressure.
Many teens fall victim to peer pressure because they need to feel as though they belong to a particular group. They desire acceptance, and that desire for acceptance sometimes gets them into trouble.
Spend some time giving your teen positive affirmations that will help encourage self-esteem. Your teen will be less likely to fall into the trap of peer pressure if he or she is aware of all the positive qualities that make that person unique.
A person who has a strong sense of value won’t feel the need to fit in with anyone else.
Establish Positive Communication Lines
Finally, you must establish healthy communication with your college-bound teen. Your teen should feel confident that you will be available for questions or concerns or to tell you about each day away at college.
Let your teen know that you are available to talk at any time of the day or night. You might even want to set up a regular day and time that you can voice or video chat with your teens to let them hear your voice or see your face. Your teen might find a lot of strength in knowing that you’re present even though there’s a distance between you.
The tips mentioned above should help you communicate your concerns to your teen without causing him or her to get offensive. Hopefully, your son or daughter will go on to have a fruitful experience in college and live to his or her full potential.
_______________________________________________
Author Bio: Patrick Bailey is a professional writer mainly in the fields of mental health, addiction, and living in recovery. He attempts to stay on top of the latest news in the addiction and the mental health world and enjoy writing about these topics to break the stigma associated with them.
For parents, preparing their kids for college can be a stressful time. While they are getting excited to meet new people, decorate their dorm, and pack everything for their first year on campus, parents are often focused on the nitty-gritty details. This often involves preparing their children’s finances and filling out paperwork among many other things.
As a parent, it’s important to make sure your child knows about the responsibilities they’ll need to handle in college. Helping them understand money management is especially important, as this will help them be better prepared for when they graduate. Here are some first steps to help teach your child financial independence before college.
Determine an Organization Method
Working on developing a budget with your child who is college-bound can help them be better prepared to manage their money and avoid overspending. Generally, your kids will have a limited amount of money each semester depending on what they’ve saved up, and if they have any type of financial aid or work-study income.
To help them create a budget, work with them to calculate the expenses they expect to have each semester, along with how much money they will have to spend. Write down each of these by category, and then determine how to best allocate their money. Generally, you should create categories that distinguish between necessities and other non-necessities, with a priority on payments that are not negotiable such as food, textbooks, and school supplies, as opposed to non-negotiable payments such as parties and socialization.
In order for your child to best track their budget in college, they could utilize a digital budgeting app so that they can always have a handle on their money whenever they’re on the go.
Set Up Financial Accounts
Getting your child’s financial situation in order also involves helping them get a bank account, among other financial accounts such as credit cards and loan accounts. If they don’t already have one, getting them a savings and checking account is a great way to help them be fully in control of their money.
One great way of doing this is by helping them sign up for a digital banking platform, which can allow them to control their finances from their laptop or mobile device. These often have additional features that can help them be more financially responsible, such as automatic savings and fee-free overdraft protection. These services can help students save money during the semester and contribute to their life savings over time.
Discuss Credit and Loans
Finally, helping your child understand debt, credit, and loans will keep them from acquiring a low credit score throughout college or falling behind on student loan payments. Discuss with them the importance of meeting any credit card payments they have on time and paying them off immediately instead of letting the debt pile up.
You should also explain how much money they will owe for student loans and what they will need to do to pay these off after graduation. This will give them a better sense of their financial responsibilities and motivate them to be on top of their finances. You can go about this by giving them access to their student loan accounts and helping them stay aware of how much they will end up owing after graduation.
Overall, knowledge about debt and loans will come with the added benefits of motivating them to be more financially independent, so that they will be in a better position when they graduate. They may even work to find ways to avoid debt while in college, and in some cases, they can even begin to pay off loans while still in college.
Helping your child prepare to become financially independent is tricky, especially since they’re getting ready to go into a new environment. However, by teaching them the right skills, they’ll be prepared to manage their money and stay financially savvy in no time.
How do school administrators describe today’s parent?
Has it become so bad that school administrators (from grade school to college) have to label us (helicopter parent, bulldozer parent, snowplow parent)? Apparently, it has. When it comes right down to it, we should realize that this type of behavior only hurts the student. Of course, the student may not see the harm. After all, their parent is rescuing them from difficult situations in life. But in the long run, it hurts their quest for independence and causes strife within the family.
Let’s take a look at some of these parenting styles and ask yourself how they can hinder your student’s growth toward independence and influence your parenting for college.
The Helicopter Parent
A helicopter parent hovers over their child. They keep tabs on their every move, text them 24 hours a day and have tracking apps on their smartphones to keep track of their child’s location at all times. Helicopter parents are ready to swoop in at a moment’s notice to help their child in any situation. Forgot their lunch—they take off at lunch to bring it to them. Forgot to bring a permission slip—they drop everything and bring it to them. Forgot to register for the SAT—no, problem; we’ll pay the late fee. Receive a text or non-emergency call during a meeting—they drop everything to respond. Overslept for school—they write a note to explain the tardiness.
The Snowplow Parent
The snowplow parent goes beyond the hovering. They clear paths for their children and plow any obstacle that stands in the way of their happiness. Their children never learn how to advocate for themselves and head off to college to get lost in a sea of problems. As they get older, it’s harder for them to resolve conflict and overcome adversity. Honestly, I have to admit I did this with my daughter. The good news—I knew when to stop. The bad news—I did it much too long.
The Bulldozer Parent
A bulldozer parent is one who is involved in their child’s life, especially in school. This type of parent calls the teacher to complain about a grade they feel is undeserved. As their kids get older, they call the admissions office to plead their college-bound teen’s case for admittance. Bulldozer parents bulldoze their way into their kid’s lives. If their kids get into trouble, they are right there waiting to bail them out and make excuses.
Evaluate and adjust
Be honest. Haven’t you been guilty of some of these? As with any problem you have to want to stop. You have to examine your parenting style and decide whether or not you are helping or hindering your kids. And once you determine the problem you should make an effort to correct it. Back off a bit, give your kids some space, and allow them to make mistakes and learn from them.
Always remember that an independent adult will be a functioning adult and a happier adult. You may say now you don’t want them to grow up, but when they are asking for your help at 30 you will be sorry you encouraged their dependence.
It’s no surprise that parents have become so involved in their kids’ lives that school administrators have begun to label us; helicopter parent, snow plow parent, and bulldozer parent. But it can’t all be bad; after all, parents are actually involved. Is this a bad thing? As with anything there are extremes. And it’s possible that a few bad parenting experiences have shed a negative light on all of us.
Let’s take a look at the benefits of helicopter parenting:
Parents who are involved tend to have academically successful students.
Studies show kids who have parents that stay involved from Kindergarten to 12th grade are more likely to excel academically. Why? Involved parents help students with studies, organization and make sure they do their assignments. They also stay on top of grades and can recognize any problems that may require extra help.
Parents who are involved have students who are less likely to participate in at-risk behaviors.
Students whose parents are involved in their lives are going to find it harder to participate in at-risk behaviors. Why? Parents who know their kid’s friends, encourage activities at home, and encourage their kids to participate in after school activities help the kids learn responsibility and commitment. They have little time to get into trouble.
Parents who are invested financially and encourage their students to invest financially have students who take their education seriously.
College is a large financial commitment. When parents commit to invest, and insist that their student invest, the student will be more likely to see the value of that investment. That translates into academic success and a successful college education.
My mother used to say, “Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.” I think that is the best way to look at helicopter parenting. Embrace the good things about this type of parenting and avoid the behaviors that cause educators to label us.
With competition for college admission becoming stronger, parents are recognizing the need to begin college prep early. That doesn’t mean that you start drilling college into your toddler’s head (although some parents have been known to do this). It does mean that you begin a foundation for their education that will carry them into high school and eventually into college.
Looking at the three phases of education, what should parents do to prepare their students for college?
Elementary School
When discussing college prep, most of the discussions start in middle school and the steps begin when a student is in high school. But for a student to be truly prepared for college, parents should begin talking about it, thinking about it, and discussing it as early as elementary school.
Start talking about the value of education
Begin talking about the importance of education when your child enters kindergarten. The first seven years of education are filled with learning fundamental skills and gaining knowledge. This is the foundation of all future education. If your child loves school, excels in school, and is motivated to study and achieve excellence, the logical progression will be to continue their education by going to college.
Start talking about college
The opportunities that a college education provides can be relayed to your children during the early years of education.
For example, if your child is interested in dinosaurs, parents should talk about how people that research and recover dinosaur bones had to go to college first to learn how it’s done. Or if he is interested in space, discuss how scientists and astronauts go to college to learn the skills they need to work in that field. A child’s enthusiasms are the perfect opportunities to start a discussion about how college is key to pursuing and following those interests.
Visit colleges with the family
Visiting college isn’t just for teenagers. Many universities provide campus tours and visiting days when a staff member will guide a grade school class, or other group of children, around the campus and explain the unique and exciting things they can do when they grow up and go to college. Parents can also schedule outings with their children to the college or university from which they graduated. The important thing is to make college sound interesting, exciting and accessible.
Middle School
In a Forbes article about preparing for college, Director of Admissions MaeBrown said, “Start preparing for college at grade six. ”That’s when parents and students should increase the focus on the final goal after high school graduation: college.
Start planning academics
Middle school students should begin planning their academic path that will carry into high school. Meet with the school counselor and discuss the courses that can be taken in middle school to prepare for high school, especially in the math and science categories. Many middle schools offer classes that were traditionally reserved for high school students. These math classes are required to take more advanced math classes in high school and to take science classes like chemistry and physics.
Because college work and many jobs now require computer skills, your child should also try to take advantage of any computer science classes offered in middle and high school. He’ll gain new skills and may discover a career path.
Read, read, read
Establish an environment at home that encourages reading. Students can start adding to their vocabulary by reading diversely. Tweens should be reading all types of books, articles, blogs and news articles. This increases their vocabulary, which is a strong component in essay writing and standardized tests. While you’re at it, why not make vocabulary building a family game by learning a word a day? There are lots of free subscription services that will email a word of the day.
Partner with your child’s educators
Middle school is the time parents tend to be less involved, but it’s the very time your child needs encouragement and guidance. Meet your child’s teachers, if you haven’t already done so, and make it clear that you want to be kept up to date about any changes in your child’s work or behavior.
Talk to the counselor about your child’s interests to see if there are electives and extracurricular activities that will help him develop his talents. If your child needs extra help or more challenging assignments in a subject, talk to the counselor about how to arrange it.
Start working on extracurriculars
A key ingredient in the college application is extracurriculars. Begin looking at areas that interest your child in middle school. Try out some volunteering, connect with a mentor for an internship, and explore hobbies and interests. If your child enters high school committed to one activity, it will be much easier to carry that through the next four years.
First Year of High School
It’s the year of new beginnings. Wide-eyed freshmen enter high school campuses overwhelmed on the one hand and excited on the other. High school puts them on the path to adulthood and independence. It means added responsibility and academic challenges, especially if they plan to apply to college at the beginning of their senior year.
Establish a relationship with the high school counselor
This is a person you want on your child’s team for the next few years in high school. The counselor will ask what your child envisions doing beyond high school; goals and vision for your child’s future career. They should help draw out a plan to reach those goals. If you wait until senior year, it could already be too late to get particular requirements your child may need to attend the school of his dreams. Work with your high school counselor ahead of time to pinpoint what school courses your child needs to take and pass to fit those college subjects the best. Sift through options of high school electives that match with the specific degree your child is interested in pursuing.
Research careers
By now, your teen should know what interests him in school. Is he drawn to the sciences? Or is drama his cup of tea? Does he excel in math? Or is he interested in literature? These interests will serve to guide your teen down the right career path.
It would be useless to pursue a career in the medical field if science and math are your teen’s least favorite subjects. It would also be frivolous to head down an acting career path if your teen does not like being on stage in front of people. Analyze their interests and strengths to guide them in choosing the career that would best suit them and feed their passion. Take personality and career tests and attend career days.
Plan a rigorous academic path
Throughout high school, your child will have the opportunity to get some college credit out of the way. At some universities, four years of a foreign language in high school will be enough to satisfy language requirements for your degree. Also, AP and honors classes can sometimes fulfill certain degree requirements, which will be very beneficial not only on the college application to communicate commitment to academics, but will also save you money paying for expensive college classes.
Research colleges
Finding a college that compliments your child’s educational goals, personality, and learning style takes time and effort. Start by making a list of what criteria the perfect school would have. From that list, focus on the schools that meet those needs with regard to location, size, character and degree programs.
Each academic year produces it’s own set of challenges if your child wants to go to college. By planning ahead, you can minimize the stress of senior year and ensure that your child is ready to pursue higher education after high school.
Social skills are important for all of us in day to day life. The vast majority of us are surrounded by other people at all times. We have to work with others. We socialize with others. We engage with people in countless situations on a day to day basis – buying items in stores, navigating ourselves through crowds in the streets, spending time with friends… the list goes on. So, social interaction is going to be a constant presence throughout your child’s entire life. Teaching them social skills before college is essential. They’ll settle into school, make friends, enjoy extracurricular activities and much more if they are able to effectively interact with the people they’re surrounded by. Here are a few areas to focus on to get your college-bound student ready for college.
Teach Communication
Communication is absolutely essential to getting by in the world. We all need to be able to express how we’re feeling in order to maintain good relationships with anyone. Without effective communication, your teen won’t be able to make friends well. So, encourage your child to talk. Get them to talk about how they’re feeling. Get them to talk about their interests. Get them to talk about what they’ve been up to and what they’re planning on doing each day. Simple conversation can go a long way when it comes to helping your teen express themselves and build bonds with others. You can find more information on how to achieve this at teachkidscommunication.
Teach Empathy
Empathy is another essential life skill. It will help your teen to understand how others feel at any given time. This will help them respond appropriately in different social situations. They will be able to help others when they’re feeling sad, down or distressed. They’ll be able to pick up on signs of anger and help to resolve the issues that are causing it. They’ll be able to share in others joy when others are happy or celebrating. Empathy really is important. But how do you teach empathy? Well, you simply actively encourage your child to see the world through another’s eyes or walk in another’s shoes. Ask them to consider how others such as their siblings or friends are feeling.
Lead by Example
Remember that your teen will pick up on your own social behavior, so lead by example and be a good role model. Make sure to treat others respectfully and appropriately at all times in front of your child. They’ll pick up on your behavior and begin to mimic it themselves!
Hopefully, the above advice will help you to help your soon-to-be college student when it comes to social skills! Focus on these different areas to get the best results possible!
During these tough economic times, parents are committed to saving money on college costs. College tuition rises each year and there is little you can do about it; but there are other places that small savings will add up. Tuition will definitely be the huge chunk of your expenses. However, there are other expenses related to college where you can find some costs savings:
The expenses that cost the most
Computers—In today’s technological world a computer is no longer a luxury, it’s a necessity. When your teen goes off to college, they will need their own computer. Personally, I recommend a laptop instead of a desktop. Since it’s portable, they can take it with them to class, to the library, and to group meetings. To save some bucks, shop online for refurbished or even last year’s models. If you buy online, consider purchasing a service contract to go along with your computer purchase (Note: This will pay for itself—I learned from experience!)
Dorm furnishings—Most dorms come furnished with a bed, a desk and some sort of dresser. Beyond that, it’s up to you and your teen to decide what additional furniture and accessories they want. My recommendation is to buy used. You can find everything from small appliances (microwaves, coffeemakers, etc.) to furnishings (bookshelves, chairs and lighting) on Craigslist, Ebay or at local thrift stores. Be careful not to overload the room because they are traditionally small.
Room and board—Room and board can be a huge portion of your teen’s college expenses. One option is to live at home if the college is within driving distance. Another option to save might be to purchase a home near campus and rent it out to other students, allowing your teen to live in it. Not only will this save you on room and board, but it will also provide you with an investment and tax write off as a rental. However, make sure the home is zoned as rental property. And here’s one of the best savings of all: after freshman year, your teen can apply to become an RA (Resident Assistant) in one of the dorms, which will provide you with a huge break on room and board costs.
Meal plan savings—Most freshmen are required to purchase a student meal plan. But, there are usually options available. My recommendation is that unless your teen is an athlete with a large appetite, the full meal plan (3-meals a day) is costly and you will not get your money’s worth. Opt for the 1 or 2 meal a day plans. Most freshmen eat takeout with friends, microwave food in their rooms, skip meals periodically, and snack voraciously. Providing them with an in room fridge and microwave will save you some bucks in the long run.
Textbook savings
College
students can spend nearly $1000-1500 a year on new textbooks. The good news is
that you don’t have to spend that kind of money if you don’t want to. If you
can, prior to the beginning of each semester, find out what books your teen will
need (title, author and ISBN, or international standard book number). Then get
busy and here’s a word of extra advice: DON’T
WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE!
(Note: Look at my List of Website Links
in the Expert Links for all the links related to Textbooks)
Buy used–Never buy new textbooks if it’s possible (unless you are a fan of throwing money away). Used books are just as sufficient. Most students use their textbooks only while they are in class and end up selling them back to the bookstore at an incredibly reduced rate. (Many times the bookstore won’t buy them back because the professor changes texts or the textbook has been updated). You can easily find used books online at discounted prices and your teen will arrive on campus with their books in tow and won’t have to fight the last minute panic rush.
Try renting–There are numerous websites available that offer textbook rentals to students per semester. This is a fairly new concept, but seems to be taking off as more and more sites pop up offering this option.
Purchase Ebooks–Consider purchasing electronic textbooks. With the recent introduction of the new Kindle College version, your student can download their textbooks and carry all of them with them. Without purchasing a Kindle, they can download the ebook versions and store them on their laptop for easy access. These versions are typically 50% less than the printed text version. The only downside is that not all textbooks are offered in ebook format.
Share books–After freshman year, my daughter shared textbooks with her roommates. It was a huge cost savings. They were usually taking some of the same classes and would get together before classes began to discuss who would purchase which textbook. If your teen is a freshman, the likelihood of having the same courses as their roommate is extremely high. Sharing the book will save both of them money in the long run. There is also the option of using a library copy.
Look for free books–There are a few sites that offer free downloads of some electronic texts. Before you purchase, visit those sites to see if any of the books you need are listed and downloadable.
Evaluate the necessity—Do you really need the textbook? Wait a few days into class and get a feel for the professor. If he or she states that the tests will cover lecture notes, then consider not purchasing the book. Worst case scenario you can borrow one from a classmate if you truly need it or find a copy at the library.
The small things add up
It’s amazing how those little expenses can add up: gas, takeout, necessity items. But just as little expenses add up, small savings add up as well and you will be saving money on college costs.
Ditch the car–Many campuses don’t allow freshmen to have a car on campus. But if your teen opts to live on campus and the college allows cars, consider ditching it. Everything your teen needs can be found on campus. And many colleges offer student transportation at very inexpensive rates if they need to leave campus or there is always the option of purchasing a monthly bus pass. In emergency situations, one or more of their friends will usually have a car that they can use or will offer to drive them.
Use the student ID card for discounts–Most fast food restaurants and local eateries offer discounts to students with campus ID’s. Those small 10-15% discounts can add up.
Finish in 4 years or less–Encourage your teen to stay on track and finish in 4 years or less. Most financial aid packages are only good for 4 years. Staying an extra semester will tack on additional expense and is not necessary since most degree plans can be completed in 4 years.
Use family insurance coverage if allowed–Some colleges charge students for health plans. If you have a good family health plan, and the student insurance duplicates what is already covered, get any charges waived.
The college admissions process can be overwhelming. It will be a stressful time for both you and your teen. Your teen will need your help and your support. They will need to know they can count on you to do your part so they can do their part. It’s truly a team effort. Good parenting is key, especially during college prep.
Here are some helpful suggestions for you that will help you help your teen during college prep.
Make a visit to your teen’s counselor– Let the counselor know that you intend to be an involved parent and establish a relationship at the start. The counselor is an important source of information and of course guidance regarding your teen’s college pursuit.
Establish relationships with teachers and staff–
Since most parents tend to drop out when their teen reaches high school, it’s
crucial that you make it clear to the educators that you will be a partner in
educating your child. Keep in touch and verify your teen’s progress via email
if it’s available and attend any teacher conferences or parent meetings that
are scheduled. Show up at PTA meetings and parent information sessions, making
you visible to the staff.
Read all school information– Once you have stressed
to your teen the importance of ensuring that ALL information gets home to you,
you must take the time to READ it. This means reading the school handbook,
teacher handouts, letters to parents, guidance department newsletters, any
rules and policies, and homework and attendance rules. Discuss these with your
teen to alleviate any future misunderstandings that might arise over failing to
follow school guidelines.
Stress the importance of good attendance– Attendance
is key in high school. Missing even one class can put the student behind. Schedule
appointments, when possible, before and after school. If there is an absence,
make sure your teen does the make up work in a timely manner. If the absence
will be for an extensive period of time, coordinate with the teachers to assure
the makeup work is completed.
Encourage strong study habits– These habits will
follow your teen to college. Set aside a regularly scheduled study time.
Studying needs to be a priority before any added activities. GPA rules in the
college admission process and good study habits will assure your teen enters
the process with an impressive one. Don’t allow your teen to procrastinate and
go into overdrive because they waited until the last minute to complete a
project.
Stress regular contact with teachers and counselors-This
contact will play an important role when your teen needs recommendation
letters. It will also establish in the minds of these educators that he or she
means business. They will see that your teen is there to learn and excel and
ask questions. Those students are the ones that are recommended for leadership
positions and academic awards. It can be something as simple as saying hello in
the hallway or using the counselor’s office to research scholarships.
Be the organization coach– My mantra for high school
was: Preparation Prevents Panic. If you know where everything is, have a
schedule and a plan, you won’t get stressed and frustrated. Sometimes the only
filing system a teen has is their floor. It’s your job as their parent coach to
help them start and maintain good organization for their date planners,
notebooks, folders, files and college related materials.
Stay informed and involved– This does not mean camp out at the school every day and follow your teen around (although that is tempting). It means monitoring quizzes, grades, daily homework assignments and long-term projects. If you begin to notice any problems, schedule an appointment with the teacher and work out a plan for tutoring if it’s necessary. Don’t wait for the report card to lower the boom. If you stay proactive and informed, you and your teen will be able to fix any problems before they become catastrophes.
Know your teen’s friends (and their parents)– Your teen’s out of school activities will always
affect in-class behavior. In high school, it’s as much about social activity as
it is about academic success. Assuring that your teen’s friends share the same
values and goals will make a difference in their focus in and out of school.
Encourage them to make friends that have college as a goal and have the same
study habits. Take the time to meet and get to know your teen’s friends’
parents. Make sure they share your values and understand your position on
smoking, drinking and drugs.
Be proactive when you encounter problems– All types
of problems arise in high school: academic, behavioral and even social. There
is a logical solution for all of them, but the key is to be aware when they
arise and address them quickly. Academic problems require additional teacher
help, tutoring, and possibly study skill courses. If you encounter behavioral problems,
contact the school counselor or principal and discuss with them recommendations
for the particular situation. Coaches can often help, along with a mentor.
Sometimes professional counseling is warranted. Don’t ever be afraid to ask for
help. And don’t make the mistake of turning your head and going into denial. Problems only get worse
if they are ignored, especially in high school.
We’re living through some pretty strange times right now. Just a few months ago, life was on track and routine. We were living day to day life to schedule – dropping the kids to school, heading to work or completing tasks around the house, socializing with our free time or heading out for fun days out. But since then, the unprecedented spread of coronavirus – a contagious and potentially lethal virus – around the world has turned many of our lives on their heads. The majority of governments have asked us to remain at home as much as possible. Schools have been closed. People are working remotely or not working at all. Socializing outside of your household isn’t really an option. This has posed many of us with a variety of difficulties and problems. But for those of us with kids, school tends to be a main concern. Here are just a few different ways you can maintain your children’s education during the pandemic!
Reduce Pressure
First and foremost, reduce pressure on yourself and your little ones. These are difficult times for everyone and all children are going to be falling behind on their education right now. When schools reopen, all kids are going to find themselves in the same position and teaching will recommence from where it was left off. So, don’t be too hard on yourself or your kids. Instead, focus on this time for bonding.
Look Up Your Child’s Curriculum
If you do want to help to introduce your little one to a few of the things they’d currently be learning at school if there wasn’t a pandemic, you can always look up their curriculum and see what they would be being taught right now. Remember that curriculums vary from one school to another, so ensure you’re focusing on the right one. If in doubt, you could always contact the school and ask.
Use All Resources Available
There are so many great, free online resources out there that can prove educational for your child. Watch a few educational Youtube videos for their age group and determine whether any are good for your child to watch. Use sites like PennyDell Puzzles to challenge them with logic and numbers. Stimulate their creativity with arts and crafts projects or writing projects. Encourage them to read books. Watch kids shows on history, science and other areas with them. Consider investing in language learning software for them. There are so many different options out there!
Set Your Own Tests
Basic spelling and maths tests are easy to set up yourself when you have little ones. Challenge them with simple maths and spellings. Many kids find this fun and enjoy the element of competition.
These are just a few suggestions when it comes to educating your kids at home during the pandemic. They’ll be back to school soon enough, but hopefully, these steps will really help for now!
These are tough times we live in. From the coronavirus to the widespread protests, families have had to cope with some difficult circumstances and answer some tough questions.
My grandsons have asked questions–many questions about what is happening in their world. We try to prepare our children for foreseeable difficulties as adults, but sometimes life slaps us in the face and we face obstacles we did not anticipate and would rather avoid.
The question we should all be asking our students is: Are you prepared for college?
I’m not talking about academic, extracurriculars, or standardized tests. I’m talking about the “real” college prep: adulthood. Because this is the most important college prep of all. If your student isn’t ready to study without being constantly nagged, attend class without a wake-up call, or make wise choices when every negative influence in the world bombards them, then he or she is not ready for college.
We must, as parents, prepare our teenagers for independent living. That means they must know how to self-advocate. They must know how to say “no” to behaviors that have negative consequences. They must be responsible with their time and their money. It’s no easy task and in today’s world, we have to add the ability to make wise social and economic choices.
I love “American Housewife” for the examples of good and not-go good parenting techniques. Their daughter, who will be attending college in the fall, was required to complete a massive to-do list before they would agree for her to attend her senior prom. Some of the items seem simple to most, like changing a tire; but the goal of this parenting was to prepare her for independent living.
Do you have a to-do list for your future college student? Can they live within a budget? Do they understand the importance of study and class attendance? Do they know how to choose the right friends? Will they make wise choices about alcohol, sex and other risky behaviors. Preparing them for college is so much more than academics.
