Category Archives: parenting

college guidance, college planning, parenting

Parent vs. Student: Conflicts About College

conflicts about collegeAsk a high school student (without a parent present) and most would tell you that they want to go to college for a) the social scene (aka partying), b) to get away from home and their parents, and c) to get a degree so they can get a high paying job after graduation. Ask a parent about the reasons they want their kids to go to college and they will tell you unequivocally that it’s for an education which will lead to a good job after graduation.

These goals differ dramatically and often cause conflicts about college choices, college majors and college location. Why are parents and students so far apart and how can you help them see things from your perspective or help them find a balance?

Academics vs a social life

Parents send their kids to college to study and excel academically. They see the money they spend as an investment in their future and would prefer that their kids not sacrifice academics for a social life. The reality is that students need both. A socially active student is a happy student. College is more than studying, tests and grades. It’s about having life experiences that help them mature as adults. Most college graduates say they learned much more in college than just academics.

The key is to help them find a balance. Before they leave for college encourage them to make a plan—allocating x amount of hours to study, leaving them with free time to socialize and participate in campus activities. If your student stays locked up in his/her dorm room all semester studying, the stress will inevitably manifest itself in their health and in their emotional well-being. If your student understands that good grades mean they won’t get put on academic probation or not be able to complete college, it might help them focus on their studies before they play.

“College prestige” vs “best fit”

Your student may want to attend an Ivy League college or any school within the top rankings, but is it really a good choice for them and will they be happy and excel. Choosing a college should be based on three criteria: money, major, and fit. Prestige should not be a factor, but peer pressure among students often makes this a top priority in their minds. A college with a big name might look good on paper and give them bragging rights with their peers, but when the dust settles will they be happy at this school and will it provide them with an education that will lead to employment.

Here’s another thing to consider—would you want to go somewhere you don’t fit in and are not wanted? Of course not. But students often do just that when they choose a college. If a school makes an offer of admission along with copious amounts of financial aid, they value your student and their contribution to their student body. If a college accepts them but doesn’t offer aid, the chances are they are just filling an admissions quota. Looking at it from this perspective makes the decision easier and helps them see the value in choosing a best fit college over a prestigious one.

Paying for school-parent or student

Most parents feel they are partially responsible for contributing to their child’s college education. While not everyone agrees on how much, we can all agree that this topic should be addressed before the students start looking at colleges. I call it the “money talk” and it’s just as important as any other aspect of the college prep process.

Kids are acutely aware of their need to contribute. In a recent Fidelity Investments online survey of U.S. high school seniors, a majority said saving for education was “overwhelming.” Good news for parents: 94 percent of students were willing to pay for at least some of their college costs; 56 percent of those said their share should be half.

Studies show that students who contribute financially to their education usually do better in college because they are financially invested. Teaching your kids to work for something they want begins during early childhood and should continue throughout college.

Once you’ve explained to your student what is expected of them, carry the conversation further by offering suggestions on how they can pay for their portion:

  • Student loans–All students who complete the FAFSA are eligible for government funded student loans. This is certainly an option, but the amount of the loans should not exceed their ability to repay after graduation. Loan repayment calculators are available to help you with that figure and you can research the average salary for your child’s degree after graduation.
  • Scholarships—Your student should be responsible for researching scholarship opportunities and completing the applications. These scholarships will help supplement their contribution and minimize the amount of student loan debt.
  • Work-study—Students should work during college, if only part-time. Work-study programs offer jobs on campus with employers who are willing to work with their academic schedule.

Location vs opportunity

Knowing that one of your student’s goals is to move away from home and get out from under your “control” means their decisions are often clouded by this priority. While location is certainly a concern, the reasons behind it should not be the distance from parental control. Just a few weeks into their freshman year they will discover how much they miss home and their parents. They may not see it now but it’s a guarantee it will happen. If they don’t believe you, have them ask current students. Often talking to their peers will help them see it from a different perspective.

Here are some things your student should consider when deciding on a location:

  • Networking and employment opportunities—Students should look ahead into the future. When they graduate do they expect to have a job waiting for them? Do they want to intern while in college to experience their future career? Colleges with large alumni networks also have opportunities for students to make connections that could help them after graduation. Texas A&M, for example, has a large alumni network who pride themselves in hiring A&M graduates if one is available. If their chosen career is theater, then living in New York makes perfect sense. If they want to pursue an acting career, Los Angeles would be an excellent choice. Cities with large corporate headquarter populations also offer employment opportunities after graduation as well. Once you look at the chosen career, you can determine if location should be factored in.
  • Tuition cost–If cost is a concern, living at home and attending a college close by should always be considered. Your student would save money on room and board and be able to work part-time while attending. Often students with limited financial resources choose colleges close to home based on these criteria.
  • Expenses not covered in tuition/room and board—Their tuition, room and board may be covered but those are not the only college costs. Parents and students should also factor in travel expenses into the decision. Attending college across the country can rack up airfare, gas and other travel related expenses on trips back and forth between both parents and students.

High school students often live in a fantasy world. They see their futures in black and white and they dream big. While there’s nothing wrong with dreams, it’s the parents’ job to help them with a reality check when needed. As you have done throughout your child’s life, continue to guide them and encourage them to make the best college decision based on reality.

college guidance, college planning, college prep, parenting

A Summer College To-Do List for Parents of Seniors

collegeSummer is in full swing and families are enjoying the vacation time. But if you student is a college-bound senior, there are some to-dos you should think about over the summer and add them to your family fun time. The new school year will be here before you know it and senior year is a busy time for high school students. Everything you can accomplish over the summer will mean one less activity for senior year.

Discuss college finances

Your college-bound senior needs to know what you are prepared to contribute financially to their college education. This discussion will help with college choices and make it easier in the spring when you review financial aid packages. You should also discuss what you expect them to contribute to their education. Research shows that when a student is invested financially in their degree they tend to focus more on their academics.

Discuss high school academics

Every high school student is tempted to “skate” through their senior year, especially after the college applications are completed and even after they receive their college acceptance letters. Senior year is the worst time to abandon academic excellence. Colleges will be checking transcripts mid-year and after graduation. If they see that the student did not focus during senior year, colleges have been known to recant their offer of admission.

Talk about college career services

This may be the last thing your college-bound senior will be thinking about. However, it’s an important factor in the college decision process. Discuss each college’s career services with your college-bound senior. Does the college offer internships? Do they have a career center to assist you with your job search (during and upon graduation). Do the alumni actively participate in networking with the students? The answers to these questions should affect the final college choices.

Encourage your student to start working on the essay

When school starts, a senior’s schedule is usually filled up to the minute. Working on the essay in the summer will alleviate stress in the fall and allow them to focus on other important activities. You can’t write the essay, but you can help them brainstorm or be a proofreader. The Common App essay topics list should help start the process.

Help with the scholarship search

It goes without saying that your student needs to spearhead the search for scholarships. But you can help with reminders of deadlines, organizing the applications, and proofreading their final submissions.

Revisit colleges

Odds are your student has already begun to narrow down the college choices. If you’ve visited colleges previously during their junior year, the summer is a good time to make an informal visit of the campuses. Take a look around, get familiar with the services offered and talk to a few students. If the admissions and financial aid offices are open, schedule an appointment and get a jump on the busy fall onslaught of students.

Take a look at the Common App online

While most students won’t complete The Common Application until senior year, it’s a good idea to take a look around and get familiar with the components. The new Common App rollover feature allows students to use the information from one year to the next and, in theory, allows you to begin to work on the Common App as early as freshman year.

Help your student nail down the recommendation list

Make the recommendation letter list before school starts. Once your student sets foot on campus they should hightail it to the teachers and staff who they feel will write the best recommendation letters. These school officials will be bombarded with requests as application deadlines roll around. Asking early will give them more time to write a thoughtful letter without feeling rushed.

Consider hiring a tutor

Even if your student is excelling in studies, you might want to consider hiring a tutor. If they are struggling in a math or science class, tutors offer one-on-one help in a less threatening environment. Tutors can also help improve standardized test scores. They can give your student a head start in their upcoming classes and reinforce what they have learned in the past.

As your summer winds down and school begins in the fall, crossing some of these important to-dos off your massive list of college-related tasks will help you and your student reduce the stress of the college application process.

college planning, college prep, parenting

My 10 Tips for Soon-to-Be College Parents

 

college parentsDuring our student’s senior year of high school we live in a bubble. All sights are set on one goal—getting into college. Students and parents focus on college selection, college applications, financial aid forms, and then we wait. We wait for the offers of admission to come pouring in and then we compare financial aid packages and help them pack their bags for college.

But wait. Is it really that simple? Hardly. Most parents would say it’s anything but simple; it takes work, commitment and perseverance on both parts—parents and students.

Now that your student has graduated, the reality of the truth hits you—your son or daughter is leaving for college. Are they ready? How will they ever survive on their own? How will you survive and cope with the void that’s there when they are gone? Will they be safe? So many questions and concerns are rolling around in your head.

From one parent to another, survival depends on knowing what to expect, what to look for, and how to respond to your student. Here are 10 tips that should help you be effective college parents:

1. Give yourself time to grieve (then move on)

It probably seems like yesterday that you were bringing your baby boy or girl home from the hospital and now they are preparing to go away for college. Although you always knew that this day would come and you are so proud of their accomplishments thus far, if you are really honest with yourself, there is a part of you that is also dreading it.

For this reason, there’s a pretty good chance that you will experience some separation anxiety, not unlike grief, when your child leaves the nest–often called “empty nest” syndrome. It’s normal for most parents and so while it’s nothing to panic over (or feel embarrassed about), you should give yourself some time to grieve and then move on with your life.

2. Don’t give in to fear

Boy how things have changed since we went to school in the 70’s and 80’s. They’ve even changed since my kids went in the 90’s and 2000’s. It’s a scary world out there and you would be crazy not to be anxious when your kids leave your care every day. But don’t let them see it; they need to feel safe and secure at school. Even though we know they are at risk, we have to trust that the teachers, staff, and administration will do their utmost to assure their safety.

3. Stay in touch (in moderation)

Before your son or daughter leaves for college make plans to stay in touch. Schedule time to communicate and discuss how often you need to hear from them. Don’t by like one father who tapped into campus security cameras so he could follow his daughter’s every move. Give them some freedom to socialize, study and explore their surroundings. A text every day, a phone call every week, and face time once a month should be enough to help both of you feel connected.

4. Practice tough love

Don’t rescue them from every difficult situation. You know the term–helicopter parenting. It’s important for them to make messes, get hurt, feel disappointment, and fail at tasks.This helps them develop life skills, achieve happiness, and be successful–the things we so desperately want to give them. Isn’t that what tough love is all about? Love your children so much you set rules, provide clear expectations, and allow them to fail so they can learn.

5. Watch the money 

Money will burn a hole in your kid’s pocket. Before they leave for college have a clear understanding of what you plan to contribute toward living expenses and what you expect him to contribute. Explain the difference between wants and needs. Today’s kids are accustomed to instant gratification; but saving for something teaches them that just because they want something, it doesn’t mean they need it. When they are away at college, this will be the first question they ask themselves before pulling out an easily obtained credit card.

6. Your child is now considered an adult

You may still feel your child is still dependent on you, but the law does not. The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act means that your student will have control over his own academic record, control disclosure of who can access those records, and monitor it for errors if detected. The tuition bill comes to the student online as well as any other student expenses. Ignoring these bills can be not only costly, but affect their status as students.

7. Discuss grade expectations

Enter into an agreement with your student before they leave for school. If they want to have fun and waste time while they’re on campus, focusing on socializing rather than studying, make it clear that they can pay their own way. But if they’re willing to work hard for a degree and maintain a certain GPA, you should definitely do what you can to help them. Now, this is not to say that you shouldn’t give them a little leeway. One bad grade doesn’t necessarily mean they’re slacking – it could just be a particularly hard teacher or class. Tell them you expect to be kept abreast of their grades. Many a parent is shocked when their freshman comes home at winter break and announces they are on academic probation.

8. Beware of the transfer

If you have a high school student thinking about college, be prepared to hear these words after their first few weeks, “I don’t like it here. I want to transfer colleges”. As your heart sinks and a hundred things go through your head, remember that I told you it would happen; and if you read a recent article I wrote, it might help you handle those words without your heart and brain exploding into a million pieces.

In most cases, you should stand your ground—at least until the end of the first year. Tell your student that if he/she still feels the same way at the end of the year you can revisit the option. It’s my experience that most students, later in life, thank their parents for giving them some tough love and not allowing them to transfer.

9. Learn how to listen (and not lecture)

It goes without saying that every parent will receive a homesick phone call at some point during the first semester of college. You must learn to listen and avoid the desire to “fix” things. Most of the time they just need to vent and once they talk things out and hear your voice, they feel better. Resist the urge to drive to college and rescue them—just listen and offer compassion.

10. Acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean graduation

Did you know that graduation rates differ wildly from school to school? About 400,000 students drop out of college each year. Students who start college but don’t finish are typically no better off than those who never even started, and in some cases might be worse off, if they took on debt. Help your student stay focused on the goal by providing words of encouragement and some of that tough love I mentioned earlier.

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admissions, parenting

20 Affordable Small Colleges

 

affordable small colleges

“Why is college so expensive and how on earth are we going to pay for it?” I bet you’ve said that more than once if you have a college-bound teenager. Most parents struggle, even if they have saved, to juggle their finances to accommodate an expensive college education. Some families resort to taking out parent and student loans to pay for college. But is there a better way?

One way to avoid paying too much for college is to choose an affordable college. Staying within your budget isn’t that difficult. There are thousands of colleges and universities in this country that offer an affordable education. Parents should be bargain hunters and search for those college bargains.

Student Loan Hero has done some research that can help. If your student is open to “searching outside the box” and finding a college that will allow him to graduate debt free, these 20 affordable small colleges should be added to his list of possibilities. According to their research, “The 20 most affordable small colleges have tuition and fees that are all $7,000 or less. This means the most affordable colleges offer savings of $20,750 in tuition and fees compared to average small colleges. Three of the top colleges even have tuition-free initiatives that effectively put these costs at $0.”

  1.  College of the Ozarks in Missouri
  2.  Berea College in Kentucky
  3.  Alice Lloyd College in Kentucky
  4.  York College in New York
  5.  Dixie State University in Utah
  6.  New Mexico Highlands University
  7.  New College of Florida
  8.  Southern Utah University
  9.  College of Coastal Georgia
  10.  Cameron University in Oklahoma
  11.  Rogers State University in Oklahoma
  12.  East Central University in Oklahoma
  13.  Emporia State University in Kansas
  14.  The University of Texas of the Permian Basin
  15.  Southeastern Oklahoma State University
  16.  Dickinson State University of North Dakota
  17.  University of Science and Arts of Oklahoma
  18.  Southwestern Oklahoma State University
  19.  University of North Carolina at Pembroke
  20.  Northeastern State University in Oklahoma

Keep in mind, of course, that many of these colleges are state schools and the fees for in-state students are less than those for out-of-state. However, many states have reciprocal agreements with other states that allow out-of-state students to receive in-state tuition rates. Check with each college regarding these agreements.

For information on each college, check out CollegeData.com. For more details on the cost of each college and information about their financial aid you can go to Student Loan Hero:  Survey: See the 20 Most Affordable Small Colleges in the US. 

orientation, parenting

Parent Orientation Dos and Don’ts

 

parent orientation

In recent years, more and more colleges and universities have offered orientation events specifically geared toward parents during the days or weeks before school starts. Attending such events may require taking time off from work, traveling and even paying for admission. With events ranging from “Meet the Dean” to model classes and seminars on “Letting Go,” parent orientations offer an in-depth understanding of today’s college experience that can’t be had from a distance.

Lori Domingo, whose student was heading to a military college, said, “If you have the chance to attend such an orientation, I would highly recommend doing so.”

Recognizing the importance of this transition time, here’s a list of dos for parent orientation:

Do attend

This may seem obvious but many parents feel it’s unnecessary or too costly to attend parent orientation. Thus far, the response to these programs has been overwhelmingly positive. Parent testimonials on the University of Colorado Boulder website called the orientation “informative,” “helpful,” and “phenomenal.” Parents who have attended these sessions comment they alleviated unnecessary stress while also giving them confidence that their children are in good hands.

Do ask questions

Parent orientation provides a wealth of information for parents, but you can get even more out of it if you prepare questions to ask the campus staff that you meet while there. Asking the right questions will help you gather information and ease your mind during the transition.

Here are are 5 questions I suggest you ask:

  • What types of services does the health center provide?—You need to find out if your health insurance is accepted by them and what the process is for co-payments, filing a claim, etc.
  • What type of emergency action is taken in the event of a school shooting or other dangerous action?—Most colleges have steps in place to contact students and parents when an emergency arises.
  • What is the parental notification policy?—Ask how the college notifies you if your student is caught drinking or committing other serious offenses.
  • Do you have a parent association?—If so, how many parents participate? Are they active on campus? What specifically does the group do?
  • Who is the point of contact for parents?—Ask if there is a parent relations office and who do you call if you have questions or concerns.

Do stick to the school’s plan

There will be programming especially designed for parents that takes place while your student is attending their own orientation. There are things you will need to learn and tons of information to absorb. Use the time wisely, pay attention and stay focused.

Do take notes

You are going to be bombarded with mounds of information. Take notes during each of the sessions, especially related to information you want to discuss with your soon-to-be college student.

Do learn about college resources for parents

As mentioned above, ask questions while you are attending orientation. Specifically, what resources are available for parents and what specific events are provided to keep parents involved, i.e. Parents Weekend. Learn especially when and how you can communicate with the college if you have concerns about your student.

Here’s a list of don’ts for parent orientation:

Don’t supervise your child’s experience

The worst thing you can do is agonize and worry about your student’s orientation experience. It causes you to lose focus and robs you of having your own. If the college feels it’s important for your student to be on their own, respect that and keep your distance.

Don’t embarrass your student

When my daughter went to college orientation, I saw parents insisting on attending the student orientation with them. They complained that their student could not be trusted to come back with a report or remember what they were told. This is no way to start your student’s college experience.

Don’t waste the staff’s time

During the Q&A sessions listen to other parents’ questions and don’t ask them if they are answered. If you have a question that hasn’t been asked, this is the time to speak up. Otherwise, take notes and listen to the questions and the responses.

Don’t sit in the corner and be silent

This is your opportunity to get to know other parents, communicate with staff and faculty, and make some new friends. It’s a given that you will need parental support during the next four years. What better opportunity to make connections, exchange emails and phone numbers, and compare notes than at parent orientation?

Don’t fret and stress

Parent orientation is a college’s way of helping parents make the transition from high school parent to college parent. Their main focus is on helping parents let go, informing parents about resources available, and giving the parents a forum to ask questions. Enjoy the sessions and make the most of every opportunity to make positive connections. If you have a genuine concern, like student safety, for instance, you can ask questions to ease your mind.

Colleges recognize that parents are more involved in their student’s lives than ever before. One college, Brandeis University, has changed its stance from telling parents to detach to encouraging they stay involved. Andrew Flagel, senior vice president for students and enrollment at the college explains:

“The concept of keeping parents at arm’s length can become very unproductive,” Flagel said. “In an age of digital technology and social media, that process of parents and students communicating back and forth is very positive.”

“Parents feel like they are a part of what’s going on at campus. That’s not helicoptering, that’s just being proud of what their child is doing,” he added. “My advice is to keep being the kind of parent you most want to be.”

Priscilla Childress in University Parent’s Guide to Supporting your Student’s Freshman Year, encourages parents to attend:

I’m a strong advocate for attending parent orientation. At each of my daughter’s orientations I learned things I didn’t know, made new friends, and most importantly came away with a sense of calm. I wasn’t as anxious as I had been because I saw the school (rather than just touring it), met the key players, and discovered that the faculty, staff, and administration wanted to see my daughters succeed as much as I did.

Parent orientation should be on your to-do list this summer. It’s probably the most important task to complete before your student leaves for college in the fall. See it as an opportunity to help you relax, gather information, and see what your student will be doing in the fall.

parenting, technology

What Parents Can Do to Teach Internet Safety

 

internet safety

The world has changed tremendously.

Decades ago, the word ‘Internet’ did not even exist in the dictionary. Now look at us:  Humanity now seems to need the Internet as much as the very air we breathe.

The birth of the World Wide Web has ushered in a plethora of possibilities. With a simple tap of your Smart Phone you can get access to any information, link up to anyone and become literally anything you wish to be.

However, as much as the internet has a lot of advantages, so does it have its cons.

Nowadays, children barely out of Kindergarten are granted access to the web. They are exposed to all sorts of materials without supervision and sadly most parents remain apathetic to the potential dangers lurking in the online world.

What can parents do to teach their children about internet safety?

Our children are the future.

They are the edifices to our foundations and as such, we owe it not only to them, but also to ourselves to give them a dignified and hopeful future.

In order to protect our kids from the dark aspects of the web, we must ensure that they are Cyber Security aware.

The first thing you need to do is to properly educate your children. Proper communication goes a long way so you will need to enlighten them about the dangers and risks of the online world.

Kids do not do what they are told, but imitate what they see

You cannot expect your children to follow your words of caution if you yourself continue to throw caution to the wind.

All too often, kids do not know how to properly create a safe online environment for themselves because no one has shown them how, so they would rather imitate what they see around them, and as a result, they could fall victim to all sorts of malicious schemes and plots online.

Children who reveal too much information about themselves online could end up being susceptible.  They could be stalked, bullied or worse: Their accounts could be hacked and they could become victims of identity theft.

Sadly, you yourself could unknowingly be teaching your kids to be vulnerable and reckless online.

At a young age, a child’s vulnerability is at its peak: They are easily influenced and ready to absorb information like a sponge.

According to Research, a lot of parents post far too much personal information about themselves and their family online.

This is not only unwise, but could lead to disastrous consequences.

What’s the solution? Practice what you preach!

The first thing you need to do is to work on yourself by educating yourself and engaging in good security practices.

Our kids mirror our behaviors. If they observe their parents taking the proper precautions like instituting rules to eliminating rogue downloads, they will most likely pick up the habit.

As a parent, you must ensure to introduce security concepts to your child and the earlier the better! A five your old is not too young to be taught the basic concepts of cyber security. All you need to do is to enlighten them in the most fun and engaging way possible.

Older children should not be left out. They should be taught to treat cyber security as they would real life security related situations.

Manage your child’s screen time

In order to ensure that your children do not stray you must remain vigilant and monitor their online activities.

Perhaps you could consider limiting the number of devices accessible to them; cut off the gadgets they don’t need.

Now, thanks to the improvement in technology, you can keep tabs on their activities on the phones and computers: Take for instance the Apple IOS devices and some Android tablets which allow restrictions on app usage.

Now, new Models of windows Computers and Apps come with built in parental controls which allow you to limit the amount of computer time each user account has per day and which applications they have access to.

Cyber security awareness isn’t something you could just instill overnight. It is a gradual process that evolves with time and Technology. The best way to stay safe online is to continue to engage in good security practices.

If a child is smart enough to work his/her way around a Smartphone, then he/she is old enough to be educated about cyber security.

admissions, editorial, parenting

It’s Time for a Wake-Up Call for Parents (and Students) about College

 

college

The college system is rigged. It’s time for parents (and students) to wake up and smell the coffee. Colleges are businesses and it’s their business to lure your student in, inflate their application numbers, and decrease the percentage of acceptances. It’s a simple tactic used in every business: make it more difficult to obtain and everybody wants it. These elite colleges have sold this view of success to most parents and students—”Get into one of our colleges and you’re guaranteed a great job after graduation, a wonderful life, and success.” It’s a bunch of bunk!

Applying to these colleges carries a steep price, and it’s not just when you get the tuition bill. The cold hard facts are that a small percentage of the best students get offered admission to these colleges. When your above average student who isn’t at the top of the applicant pool puts all his hopes and dreams into an offer of admission and the odds aren’t stacked in his favor, you and your family are in for some devastating weeks and months of disappointment.

In a statistical article discussing demonstrated interest in higher education from Social Assurity, Barnard College’s enrollment statistics were revealed:

Congratulations to the 1,088 students accepted to Barnard College’s Class of 2022. You are part of the most selective class in Barnard’s history. Barnard chose you from 7,897 applicants for an effective acceptance rate of 13.7%.

Barnard’s acceptance rate has dropped precipitously over the past four years. Twenty-four percent of applicants were admitted to the class of 2018, 20 percent to the class of 2019, 16 percent to the class of 2020, 15.4 percent to the class of 2021, and now 13.7 percent to the class of 2022.

Why do we allow our students to be used in this way? Why is it so important that they attend an elite university? Because for so many years, parents and students have believed the lie that says, “where you go to college determines who you will be.” And nothing, absolutely nothing, could be further from the truth. Where you go is NOT who you will be.

What your student does with the education he receives will determine his success or failure. It won’t be determined by the name at the top of their diploma or the name on the sweatshirt they wear for the next four years. The reality is there are thousands of excellent colleges who provide a superior education. These colleges change lives. These colleges provide students with degrees that work. These colleges provide large amounts of financial aid to all their students. These colleges give students opportunities to serve as they learn. They don’t have elite names on their buildings. But your student will receive a quality education at an affordable price.

Why would you want anything less for your student? Why would a parent make a decision to go into debt, encourage their student to go into debt, and destroy their retirement to send their student to one of these elite colleges? But it happens every single day as the colleges rejoice and applaud their efforts to milk parents out of a small fortune to educate (or often not educate) their student.

I hear these stories every day. “My student was valedictorian and he didn’t get into any of the Ivies.” “My student had a strong GPA, high test scores, strong leadership and community involvement and she didn’t get into one of the colleges she applied to. What did she do wrong?” It’s not the quality of the student, it’s the quality and the substance of the college list. They applied to the WRONG colleges!

Your college list can make or break the admission results. Apply to the wrong schools and your student will either not get accepted or get accepted and not offered any financial aid. It’s a guaranteed result. If you want this to happen to your student, populate their list with elite colleges. Apply ED to one of them and sit back and wait for the disappointment. It will most surely happen. If you want a different result, take a different course of action.

Lynn O’Shaughnessy, a college and financial aid expert, agrees and lays it all out for parents in her recent article: Getting Rejected From Elite Universities. Do yourself (and your student) a favor and read it. Do this before fall of senior year. Follow her advice (and mine) and expand your college list. Do the research. Choose the colleges that offer the best aid, the best education, and might not be on anyone’s radar. Employers don’t care where you went to college. They care that you got an education that prepares you for the work force.

online learning, parenting

Why We Need Private High Schools

 

private schoolsThere was a time when the United States was at the head of the class when it came to the quality of education in this country. As of January 2015, the United States ranked in 14th place out of 40 countries scored, and that is not saying much for the state of education in this country as it now stands. This was one of the major issues during our current president’s campaign and something he has vowed to ‘fix’ during his administration. Can anyone blame him?

Why the United States Scored So Low on the Scale

The debate continues on what we have come to know as “The Core Curriculum” and how this is holding our youth back from attaining the education they deserve. However, this is specific to public schools, for the most part, because private schools have much more leeway in how they teach, if not what they teach, per state requirements.

 

What Private Schools Can Offer that Public Schools Can’t

Private schools can offer a more open approach to education because they are not bound by the exact same laws as public schools are. While many may receive funding from government sources, private schools are not accountable to a county school board as are public schools. So, while all students must meet minimum requirements, private schools have the freedom to reach far beyond those minimums. They may even be able to do away with the Core altogether as long as their students can master the concepts contained in the Core.

A Misguided Mindset

With a national mindset of “No Child Left Behind” and minimum requirements in the curriculum, is it any wonder why our educational system is falling through the basement? Instead of setting minimum goals for students to attain, why not set those goals higher? Why not set up classrooms where every child has the opportunity to grow at his or her own pace? That’s something to consider and why a greater number of private schools are keeping their classroom sizes small enough to accomplish this.

With more one-on-one time with students, teachers can help them work at their own level of competency, and that is the way forward. Keeping a broken Core Curriculum is holding our future leaders back and why so many parents are thankful to have the wherewithal to send their kids to private schools. Wouldn’t it be nice if every child had that opportunity?

Raising up a New Generation of Educators and Administrators

The guiding light, the ray of hope, in all this is that there are forward thinking universities that are raising up a new generation of educators and administrators. Check out https://peabodyonline.vanderbilt.edu/ to see how we can change our future and why private schools may be one of the best ways to meet the challenges ahead. Sometimes it’s not about what we are required to teach our students but how we teach them that makes a difference. Whether or not the Core can be done away with isn’t quite as important as training teachers to bring out the best in their classrooms.

parenting, Uncategorized

Dealing with Senioritis (The College Dream Killer)

 

senioritis

Senioritis. Yes. It’s a word (and a disease). It hits most seniors the last semester of high school. It usually strikes after all their college applications are completed and submitted, and grabs total hold after they have received offers of admission. Senioritis says, “The year is almost over. I’ve been accepted to college. It’s time to take it easy and P-A-R-T-Y!” It is no respecter of persons and hits almost every senior at some point after they return from winter break.

What should you look for?

When senioritis begins, you might not notice the symptoms. It could be an unusually low grade on a test. Or you might notice she is studying less and less, with a complete lack of motivation. More severe symptoms include skipping class, a major drop in grades, and often accompanied by an “I don’t care” attitude. More so than your typical teenage defiance and resistance.

Why is it “deadly”?

Senioritis can “kill” your student’s dream of college. The colleges that offer admission are closely watching your student to see if she continues to excel until the end of her senior year. A drop in grades or even disciplinary action can be a red flag, signaling to colleges that your student isn’t ready to be on their own and handle the rigors of a college education. If she can’t commit and stay the course with all the adult supervision around her, how will she stay the course in college without anything except self-motivation?

Colleges have been known to withdraw offers of admission if a student exhibits any of these signs during the final months of high school. Hence, senioritis can KILL you student’s dream of college.

What is the cure?

A reality check. If you see signs of senioritis setting in, it’s time for a cold, hard conversation. Lay it all out on the table. Explain that colleges are watching. She won’t get a second chance. Once the offer is pulled, it’s pulled, for someone else who is committed. It’s a harsh reality check for most students, but one that needs to be made clear. The final months of senior year are just as important as the previous ones. Your student needs to keep her eye on the prize and realize once she walks across that stage with her diploma in hand, she can take a deep sigh of relief and spend the entire summer relaxing. Not until then, and only then, can she rest on her laurels.

parenting

Capture High School Memories Before College with a T-shirt Quilt

This post contains an affiliate link.

t-shirt quilt

We’ve been talking about it for years–doing something with my daughter’s old t-shirts. Too many memories to just toss them and storing them was becoming an issue. We wanted to use them and make a blanket, but we didn’t have the sewing skills to accomplish it. We researched options but they all seemed so expensive. Until we found Project Repat.

This Christmas I was able to give my daughter a gift of memories. When she opened the box, her face lit up. There on a quilt were her favorite t-shirts from high school and college days. A shirt we purchased on a family vacation. A memory of her 18th birthday trip to Six Flags. One she purchased during her study abroad in London and Paris. Another her brother purchased for her while he was in the Marines. Her sorority and college shirts reminding her of some of the best memories of her life.

When your college-bound teen signs that letter of acceptance from his or her dream college, she will be leaving home in the fall. Homesickness almost always sets in. It would be great for your teen to have a little bit of home with her every day. She can choose the shirts that hold her favorite memories from childhood and high school to take with her to college. The t-shirt quilt will remind her of happier times and comfort her during those moments when she misses home.

Click on the text below for a chance to win a FREE QUILT and a DISCOUNT COUPON CODE from Project Repat.

Yes. I want to order a t-shirt quilt for my college-bound teen.