Category Archives: parenting

college guidance, college planning, dorm life, extracurricular activities, greek life, parenting

Getting involved in campus life

Unknown-2Most parents, if asked, would cite academics as the priority when it comes to the focus for their college-age kids. After all, you are paying for an education that will eventually lead to a job and an independent life (or so you hope). And yet, the time your students spend on campus will offer many more opportunities for education than those that can be found in a book. Without your help and guidance, they will have to navigate the waters of social interaction on their own, learning how to form lasting relationships (both personal and professional). And the best way to do this is to get involved in campus life. So if you want your kids to get the most out of their college experience, it’s important that you encourage them to come out of their shell and participate in something other than their chosen curriculum.

Of course you’re not going to tell them to get out and party, but there are certainly merits to joining fraternities and sororities. Greek life has developed a bad reputation for beer-guzzling shindigs, so you might not think it’s right for the college-bound kids in your family. But the truth is that there’s a lot to recommend life in these houses. For one thing, the bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood that exist in the Greek system will give your students instant substitute families, allowing them a place to belong throughout their collegiate experience, not to mention a network of contacts to call upon after graduation. In addition, houses are often required to participate in both campus events and charitable activities, which can only help your student to get involved, and perhaps learn something about the value of compassion and philanthropy. They also require a minimum GPA.

Then again, fraternities and sororities don’t comprise the only means for students to get involved, although they may be one of the most valuable. You could also encourage your kids to join campus clubs, and there are many avenues to choose from. Sports are one great way for students to be thrust into the college experience, since they not only provide an instant group of friends by way of teammates, but they also ensure attendance at a number of campus events. Even traditionally solo sports like running or cycling can be done with friends or campus groups.

There are also clubs that cater to academic pursuits (math club, AV, creative writing, etc.), hobbies, religious groups, or even political affiliations or agendas. The point is that no matter what your kids are interested in, there are probably like-minded students on campus, and if a specific group isn’t available, your student could start one. How about a weekly movie club to screen the classics, or a club that tests new video games and then blogs their reviews?

While keeping your “nose in the books” is admirable (you can compare textbooks here to find the best prices) and studying is important, having a social life is also important. You should pause for a moment and think about how they stand to benefit from a more rounded campus experience. Students that get involved and make friends will gain, in addition to an education, a support network that can help them get jobs and get by in life once they leave college. A well-rounded student is a happy and successful student.

campus security, college guidance, dorm life, parenting

Top 5 college safety tips for students

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Unknown-1By the time you’re prepared to head off to college you are likely certain that your parents are merely overprotective. But they have experience, much of which they have probably declined to share with you, that makes them cautious. In many ways they may understand the world and its ills better than you can imagine. But you are young and eager, and you have many lessons to learn on your own. The unfortunate truth is that some will be unpleasant. However, there are precautions you can take on behalf of your own safety. After all, a failure to look out for your own best interest really only stands to hurt one person (that would be you).

Here are a few college safety tips that you should at least consider:

  1. Speak softly and carry a big stick. Teddy Roosevelt surely knew how to turn a phrase (although he attributed this one to a proverb). These days it has come to signify being prepared for any turn of events, having soft options (like negotiating) at your disposal, but being prepared to use harder ones (such as pepper spray) should the situation call for it. As a student on campus you need to be able to protect yourself from all manner of threats, from peer pressure or from a would-be attacker. So having a variety of tools at your disposal is essential, whether that means finding the words to stand up for yourself and what you know is right or whipping out some pepper spray to stave off an attack.
  2. Avoid open containers. Parties are part of the college experience, and since there’s little chance that you’re going to spend the next four years avoiding social interaction, you can at least set some safety ground rules for yourself. For one thing, you should always arrange for backup, meaning someone sober to drive you home and watch your back. Take turns with your friends being the designated driver. But even if you walk to and from parties to avoid the driving issue altogether, consider a hard and fast rule that entails shunning open containers. This protects you from having drugs unknowingly placed in your drink during a party.
  3. Use protection. Pepper spray is great to have on hand if you find yourself walking on campus alone at night (although you’re better off walking with a buddy). In addition, especially for young women, it’s important to know some simple defensive steps that will also help if confronted with an unexpected assailant.
  4. Get vaccinated. In some cases you don’t even have to come into direct contact with another student in order to contract a dangerous disease. Take the measles, pertussis (whooping cough), meningitis, or even the flu, for example. All of these illnesses are airborne, but there are also vaccines available that protect against them. So if you want to keep harmful germs at bay, make sure that you get all relevant vaccines before and during your time on campus.
  5. Don’t be a target. You no doubt want to be the life of the party, having at your disposal cool sayings, impressing everyone with your wit  and wisdom. But when you act foolish you could turn yourself into a target. Drinking too much at parties, walking alone at night, and posting your whereabouts and plans on Facebook for anyone to see could make you a target for all kinds of criminal activity, from personal harm to dorm room robbery. Exercise a little common sense and some self-preservation so that you don’t paint a target on yourself during your time in college.

Remember to use caution, restraint, and common sense while in college. During this time of independence it’s even more critical. Take care of yourself while you’re away and come home safely during breaks and after graduation.

 

empty nest, parenting

Handling the “empty nest” when your student is in college

images-1It probably seems like yesterday that you were bringing your baby boy or girl home from the hospital and now they are preparing to go away for college. Although you always knew that this day would come and you are so proud of their accomplishments thus far, if you are really honest with yourself, there is a part of you that is also dreading it. Your child is leaving home and four years of college will result in them returning to you as an adult with their own home, career and new way of life.

For this reason, there’s a pretty good chance that you will experience some separation anxiety when your child leaves the nest–often called “empty nest” syndrome. It’s normal for most parents and so while it’s nothing to panic over (or feel embarrassed about), we do have some tips that will help you to cope with the transition:

Accept it. Sometimes, the hardest part of change is simply accepting it. The moment that you make the decision to embrace this new season as a part of the parenting process, it will help you to feel calmer so that you can make the necessary adjustments.

Make plans. It is a wise person who once said that when you lose something, you need to quickly replace the void. When it comes to your child, you will always have them as a part of your life, but the time that was once devoted to their needs, because they will be at school, is now freed up. Therefore, use this as an opportunity to join an exercise class, take up a new hobby or make plans with your friends. Staring at your phone, waiting on your child to call or text you is only going to make things that much more difficult. Use it to contact some girlfriends, instead.

Start journaling. There will be some emotions that you have that will be either too hard to explain to others or too private to share. A great way to release them is by picking up a journal. One that can help you to center your focus on the “positives” about this new chapter of your life is a gratitude journal.

Schedule dates with your child. Whether your child is away from home enrolled at Ohio University, Vanderbilt University or NYU, or closer to home at a state college, there are going to be scheduled breaks throughout the semester in which they will be returning home. As a way to give you something to look forward to, discuss with them the possibility of going on a couple of dates with you. That way, you can get in some much-needed quality time.

Pat yourself on the back. When a child goes away to college, sometimes so much focus is on how hard it is emotionally that parents forget that it’s a major achievement that they can be proud of. Not only did their child graduate from high school, but they did well enough to be accepted into a college that can prepare them for their career. So, as you’re wiping away some of the tears that will come from missing them, make sure to pat yourself on the back for a job well done too.

Parenting is loaded with landmarks and accomplishments: their first step, their first word, their first day of school, and their high school graduation. Look at college as another of those landmarks and it will help you see there are always more to follow.

 

college guidance, college planning, parenting, work study

Should you encourage your child to have a job in college?

The parenting community seems to be strongly divided on the issue of whether or not kids should work during their time in college. In many cases, students have no choice but to take on part-time or full-time work as a way to make ends meet, even if that means they have to cut back on their studies in the process. The first priority is a roof overhead and food on the table, after all. Attending college is a privilege that some students take for granted, but others must work a lot harder during their college years. For students that don’t necessarily have to work, the question becomes whether or not they should, and as a parent you likely have some thoughts on the issue. There are pros and cons to both positions.

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Following are a few pros and cons you might want to consider before you urge your kids to take on a job in college and add the additional burden of employment during their time in school.

There are many reasons why parents might prefer that their children avoid working while they’re in college. For one thing, the main point of attending college is to earn a degree (hopefully increasing job prospects), and it requires students to focus on their studies. Carrying a full course load is not only a time-consuming undertaking, what with class time and studying, but it can also take a lot of energy and concentration. A job can be disruptive on all fronts. So if students are able to cover their expenses with funds provided by scholarships, student loans, and of course, the help of their parents, there’s no reason why they should be distracted by the demands and stress of a job. In truth, attending college is like having a full-time job to begin with, and while many young adults enjoy the stamina required to take on additional work, it doesn’t make sense to tax them needlessly. Or does it?

If it’s purely a matter of money and there’s no other option, then students may have no choice but to work in order to support themselves and pay their way through college. But why would parents that can afford to help their kids financially encourage them to take on a job anyway? There are a couple of compelling reasons for parents to take this position, as well. For one thing, having a job builds confidence and character. When kids contribute financially to their own education, they are likely to place a higher value on it, thus making their performance in school more important (since they have more invested).

In addition, working a dead end, part-time job will no doubt help them to realize what their future job prospects look like if they fail to finish their degree, providing ample motivation to succeed. Of course, they might also nab an entry-level position in their field of interest, helping to build a resume and get a leg up on their peers when it comes to getting hired after graduation.

Whether your kids angle for a medical degree from Johns Hopkins or NEU’s online MST degree, you may not know if you should encourage them to take on a job during their time in school. Focusing on studies without the added stress of a job is definitely a consideration. However, encouraging your student to contribute to the cost of their education certainly builds character and communicates that hard work and perseverance pay off in the end.

The bottom line–only you know your student and can help them decide whether or not to work during college.

 

college guidance, college planning, parenting

5 Ways to help your college student stay healthy on campus

Unknown-2Sending your kids off to college is no easy undertaking. Aside from the cost of this venture, every parent will have to deal with the emotional difficulties involved, as well. For certain you will miss the pitter-patter of tiny feet in the house, and even the elephantine stomping and door slamming that no doubt characterized their teenage years. But even worse than the empty nest syndrome could be the endless worry. You’ll fret over little things like whether or not they’re dressing appropriately for the weather, getting enough sleep, and going to class on time. And then there are larger issues like safety, grades, and social acceptance. But the first time your student calls you up complaining of sore throat or stomach flu, you’ll start to wonder how they’ll make it through illness on their own, without you to bring them soup, take their temperature, and pick up prescriptions at the pharmacy. So here are just a few ways that you can help to ensure your kids stay healthy during their time on campus.

  1. Send prescription reminders. Whether your college-age kids take medication for asthma, seasonal allergies, anxiety, a heart condition, or even birth control, you’ve likely been phoning in and picking up their prescriptions for so long that you know exactly when they’re due. So if you’re worried about your student running out of essential medication, consider setting an alert on your phone’s calendar so that you can shoot your kid a text reminder to refill.
  2. Campus meal plan. While you probably had an easy enough time policing your kids’ food choices when they lived at home, since you were the one buying groceries and preparing meals, you’re going to have to accept that you have no control over how they eat on campus. That said, you can provide them with healthy alternatives to eating out and hitting the vending machines for every meal. By springing for a campus meal plan you’ll at least ensure that they have access to healthy choices. It might not stop them from nightly raids on the vending machine, but at least they can get some fresh fruits and veggies or a hot meal when they want it.
  3. Food delivery. There aren’t a lot of cooking options available to students living in dorms, what with limited kitchen amenities (they’ll have a mini fridge and microwave if they’re lucky). But that doesn’t mean you can’t find ways to supply them with fresh fruits and veggies, depending on the school they attend. Start by looking for farm co-ops in the area that deliver fresh, organic fruits and vegetables, or if none are available, consider setting up deliveries from a company like Harry & David’s.
  4. Care packages. Plenty of parents are keen to send care packages containing freshly baked goodies and other items that remind kids of home. But you might want to swap out the cookies in favor of healthier fare like dried fruit, nuts, or even homemade trail mix. You could also throw in daily vitamin supplements to ensure that your kids are getting the vitamins and minerals they need to stay healthy, even if they’re not eating right.
  5. Health coverage. Many insurance providers allow parents to keep their kids insured under their policy up until the age of 26, which means that the average student won’t have to worry about finding their own affordable health insurance until after graduation. But if you want to make sure that your kids take advantage of this coverage, you might think about providing them with a list of plan-approved practitioners in their area (doctors, dentists, ophthalmologists, etc.), or even set up appointments for them in the beginning.

You can’t police their every decision or pester them to take care of themselves, but you can provide them with opportunities to make healthy choices and continue their health care while in college.

 

college guidance, parenting

Teaching your college-bound teens about the dangers of drinking and driving

Do you remember when you were a teenager? Likely you can recall bits and pieces, but as you have grown older, wiser, and more experienced, you may have forgotten the particular blend of hormones, peer pressure, and self-discovery that leads teens to experience a sense of both invincibility and the immediacy of everything going on in their lives. You no doubt shake your head, exasperated, when your teens decry your overly careful attitude, but the truth is that you are at very different places in life. Your teens have yet to know the heartache and hurt that have caused you to become so cautious. But you have been where they are, and if you try to recall how you thought and felt at their age you should be able to come up with ways to connect to your college-bound kids on a level they can relate to. When it comes to discussing the dangers of drinking and driving when they head off to campus, it’s imperative that you make an impression.

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A good place to start is by learning all that you can about drinking and driving. You might begin by visiting the NHTSA (National Highway Traffic Safety Administration) website to bone up on statistics for teenage drinking and driving. Although you probably don’t want to present the students in your household with a laundry list of rote facts and figures, they could come in handy when you attempt a discussion with your know-it-all teens. In truth, statistics only tell a small part of the story. You’re going to have to get a lot more personal if you want to instill in your kids a healthy fear of what can happen when they choose to get behind the wheel after drinking.

When you sit down with your college-age kids with the intent of discussing the dangers of drinking and driving, the best way to engage them may be to let them do the talking. A hardline, authoritarian stance may work with some kids, but most teens will tune out the moment you start lecturing. Instead, try asking them what they think about drinking and driving. Many will automatically reply that they know it’s wrong and they would never do such a thing. But you can’t end the conversation there. Question them next about how drinking and driving could impact their lives. Ask them if they know what happens when they receive a DUI. That opens the door for you to explain the legal process, including the black mark that will stay with them for the rest of their lives, not to mention the hike in their college auto insurance rates for the next couple of years.

Ask your kids what they think will happen in the event of an accident, not only to them personally, but also to passengers in their vehicle and the driver or passengers of other vehicles. You might even go so far as to have them to consider how they might feel if they hurt or killed a friend, or to imagine the guilt if they ended the life of a child or a family in another vehicle just because they were too stupid or too proud to call a cab or arrange for a designated driver for the night. In addition to the emotional weight of such a situation, they would also face criminal charges, potentially landing them in jail and getting them expelled from school in the process.

Making your kids think about these things and explain them to you in their own words is the best way to ensure that they’re thinking about them when they’re confronted with the prospect of drinking and driving. You won’t always be there to deter them, but you can give them the tools to think for themselves and make the right decision when it comes to drinking and driving.

college guidance, dorm life, parenting

Top 5 financial mistakes college freshmen make

Freshmen-BlundersWhen your student becomes a freshman in college they are bound to face a rather steep learning curve on several fronts. For one thing they will have to get used to being responsible for themselves, including how (and when) to eat, get enough sleep, and juggle their daily schedule, from attending classes to doing homework to squeezing in some socialization. But they will also have to learn to manage their own finances, and this can be extremely difficult for students that have never had to set a budget, balance accounts, and pay bills, especially if you, as parents, have offered no friendly advice or training on the subject. But rather than learning things the hard way and potentially getting into debt or screwing up their credit along the way, it’s in your best interest to help them become aware of some common issues that average freshmen face in the area of finance so that they can circumvent them completely. Here are just a few financial mistakes they will certainly want to avoid.

  1. Blowing dough on friends. Whether you are providing them with a monthly stipend for living expenses, they have some loan money left over after tuition and books, or they have a wage-earning job for the first time in their life, they may end up with a little more money in their pocket than they are used to, and the urge to impress their new friends by springing for pizza, treating them to coffee, or buying them tickets to rock concerts could leave your student high and dry with no money for essentials. This is a classic rookie mistake that plenty of freshmen make once or twice. But after living on Raman noodles for weeks, they aren’t likely to make this classic blunder again.
  2. Neglecting bookkeeping. Most students have never had to track their spending, so why would they add such a burden when they’ve already got the stresses of college to contend with? Because they don’t end up getting into trouble with overdraft fees, credit card fines, or angry phone calls from their parents informing them that you will no longer fund them unless they can get spending habits in order.
  3. Failing to budget. Any time you have limited funds (or really, any time at all) it’s important to create a budget so that you always know just how much money you have available and where it’s destined to go. Without this knowledge you could find that you don’t have enough in the bank when it comes time to pay for tuition. Or your bank card may be denied when you try to pay for dinner. Neither sounds very appealing.
  4. Applying for credit cards. Although there are laws in place to protect students from credit card offers that are made to take advantage of their inexperience, only your student can truly ensure that they don’t wind up owing their first-born child to Visa or MasterCard. As soon as they take out loans and start building credit the offers for plastic will come rolling in. Tell them to resist the urge to say yes to every offer that lands on their desk. If they need to use a credit card to actually build their credit, select one that has a low limit (to curtail overspending) and also a low interest rate (one that won’t get bumped up in 12 months). Or consider a card that requires they pay the balance, like American Express.
  5. Ignoring cheaper alternatives. Even though you might be  insuring items you bring to college, it’s probably a good idea not to bring anything too valuable. This includes a car. As a student living on campus they should have no problem getting around with nothing more than a bike or their own two feet. And even if they work off campus they can take the bus for a lot less than it costs to own and operate a vehicle.

Before your student spends beaucoup bucks on things they don’t need, consider that there are cheaper alternatives that could save them from overspending. Teach them the difference between “want” and “need” before they head out on their own.

 

 

college guidance, college planning, in the news, parenting

Parents should encourage AP classes

The College Board released a press release and accompanying report related to the Class of 2012 Advanced Placement® results. While participation and performance increased compared to the Class of 2011, many High School students with potential for success in college-level AP® Courses still lack access. Parents of college-bound teens should encourage their students to take advantage of AP classes offered in high school. Following is a short excerpt from the press release, along with a link to view the complete report.

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UnknownNEW YORK — Ensuring that all academically prepared high school students have access to rigorous college-level course work that will enable them to persist in and graduate from college is critical for the United States to remain competitive in a global economy — particularly in crucial STEM-related disciplines. Educators are increasingly adopting the rigorous standards found within the Advanced Placement Program® (AP®) to help the nation’s high school students develop the critical thinking, reasoning and communication skills that are essential for college success.

Data released today by the College Board as part of The 9th Annual AP Report to the Nation revealed that more high school graduates are participating — and succeeding — in college-level AP courses and exams than ever before. Succeeding in AP is defined as achieving a score of 3 or higher on the five-point AP Exam scale, which is the score needed for credit, advanced placement or both at the majority of colleges and universities.

“By exposing students to college-level work while still in high school, Advanced Placement dramatically improves college completion rates,” said David Coleman, President of the College Board. “Today we applaud those educators who have worked tirelessly to bring the power of AP to more communities and more students than ever before. But we must not forget the hundreds of thousands of students with the potential to succeed in Advanced Placement who don’t even have access to its coursework.  If we hope to achieve our long-term college completion goals, we must ensure that every student has access to a rigorous education.”

Current research on AP course work confirms AP’s comparability to introductory college courses in content, skills and learning outcomes. Research consistently shows that students earning placement into advanced course work based on AP Exam scores perform as well as — or better than — students who have completed the introductory course at a college or university. In fact, students who succeed on an AP Exam during high school typically experience greater overall academic success in college, and are more likely than their non-AP peers to graduate from college and to graduate on time, experiencing lower college costs than the majority of American college students.

The 9th Annual AP Report to the Nation is available at apreport.collegeboard.org.

You can also download the condensed version of the report located within the press release:

National Release _ APRN_FINAL

 

college guidance, college planning, dorm life, organization, parenting

Tips for making the transition to college easier

Savoring the last few months of high school education, your student may get the ping of fear in the back of their mind to find the right college. Researching and applying to colleges has most likely left your student with stress, excitement and anticipation of the future.

Whether your student searched for colleges with online classes or universities that offer top-notch academic programs, the applications have been submitted and the wait contines? While you and your student are waiting for offers of admission from the colleges, here are some tips for making the transition to college easier:

You’re not there yet

Many seniors take the attitude that once their applications are submitted they can coast through the remaining months of senior year. That is not the case. Many colleges require a spring or final transcript and have been known to reject offers for admission based on that transcript. Encourage your student to buckle down and do their best these next few months. Colleges are looking for students that take their education seriously. The last thing they want to see are grades that have dropped since they received your student’s application.

View of a messy roomWhat you need to take to the dorm

Once your student gets into a university, it’s easy to forget half the stuff they need when moving day comes. For the bedroom and main areas, grab two sets of sheets and pillows, a trash can, desk and area lamps, a laundry bag or basket, storage boxes, a mini fridge and a coffee maker. Life isn’t complete without electronics. Remember the laptop, iPod and dock, headphones, alarm clock, TV, DVD player, cell phone and charger, camera and a microwave.

Cleaning is now up to your student, so bring along a vacuum or old-fashioned carpet sweeper. In the bathroom, they will want soap, shampoo, toothbrush and paste, towels, a comb and a razor. For their desk, grab some Post-It notes, a compact stapler, printer paper, note cards, pens and pencils.

Finding a roommate

Finally, the college may allow students to choose their own roommate. If they don’t have a friend lined up, they can find a roommate through roomsurf.com. They will be matched with potential rooming partners based on the results of a survey. They can communicate with potential roomies beforehand to make sure they’re a match. If assigned a roommate, make contact with them online by searching social media like Facebook, Twitter and Google. Contact beforehand allows your student the opportunity to plan and not bring duplicate items for the dorm room.

While entering college is exciting, it can seem overwhelming. With these tips, you’ll have a much easier time getting started and moving forward. Soon, they will be settled in and on their way!

 

parenting, study abroad

5 Reasons to allow your college-bound kid to study abroad

images-2Whenever it’s time for a child to go to college, it can already be hard on the parents. After all, it’s been 17 years (give or take a few months) of them living at home and relying on their mom and dad for their daily needs. So, when it’s time for your son or daughter to graduate from high school and they bring up the fact that they’ve been thinking about not only going away for school but studying abroad, it’s understandable why you might be hesitant to go along with the program.

However, there are actually benefits that come with a student making this kind of commitment and so if your child does present you with this option, we have provided you with five reasons why you definitely should consider letting your student study abroad:

  1. It’s a great way to see the world. As adults, we know how easy the demands of everyday life can keep us from doing some of the things that are on our own wish lists. College is the perfect time for a young person to get out and see the world by experiencing different kinds of cultures including food, music and architecture. It will create lasting memories for the rest of their lives.
  2. It’s an easier way to learn another language. Without question, it is professionally beneficial to be bilingual and one of the easiest ways to learn a second language is not by sitting in a classroom but being in a city where it is spoken fluently.
  3. It can actually enhance your degree. When a student goes overseas to study for a semester or two, there’s a pretty good chance that they will be able to take courses there that are not afforded to them in the States. This means that they may be able to earn a few more credits. Also, it helps to make their academic resume that much more attractive when it comes time to seek out internships and a full-time job.
  4. It gives broadens their employment eligibility. There are several studies that indicate that only about 5 percent of Americans ever go to another country to study on a college level. That said, with the job market in the States still as unstable as it is, studying abroad expands your child’s ability to be able to land a job following graduation. Being in another country is a way for them to not only make new friends and meet new professors, but to also make international connections; ones that they may be able to use for years to come.
  5. It matures them. Say that your child is enrolled at Ohio University, they are living on campus and it’s a couple of hours away from your house. Just by spending time in a different environment, they are going to grow up and mature in many ways. But when they are in another country, thousands of miles away, it forces them to have to mature at an exponential rate because they have to learn how to be independent in so many ways. Studying abroad teaches them how to manage time, money and other resources in a way that nothing else can. A child who studies abroad doesn’t just take classes in another country. They learn about a whole new way of life and that better prepares them for “the adult world” once they return home.
I completely recommend study abroad programs. If your student is interested, allow them to pursue this path while in college.