Category Archives: parenting

extracurricular activities, parenting, Uncategorized

Staying Connected With Your Teen

teenagersIt doesn’t matter how close you were before they entered high school, the tension always mounts and the temptation is to drift apart. It takes a concerted effort on your part to stay in touch with their world. They are naturally moving toward independence and we are naturally grasping to keep them from growing up. And thus begins the ying and yang of parent/teenager relationships.

During high school your teens will experience every form of human emotion: joy, sadness, rejection, fear of failure, excitement, disappointment, heartache, love, and the list goes on and on. Most of the emotions are extreme and always seem like the end of the world to them. It’s hard to convey to them that “this too shall pass” and they will realize as they get older that their life is just beginning.

They are looking ahead to the future while living in the present. Keeping on track and keeping their eyes on the prize (graduation and college) can be challenging. As their parent coach and encourager, and the all-knowing, all-wise adult in their life, it’s up to you to stay connected and help them maintain their focus.

Here are a few of my own tips to help you stay connected with your teen:

Find that time when you can sit with them and listen. This is not easy, because many teens rarely sit still for very long to have a conversation. I would sit in my daughter’s room while she picked out her clothes and dressed to go out. You’ll be amazed at how much information you can gather if you simply listen.

Share something they enjoy. It might not be your choice of activities, but if you share a common interest it gives you something to talk about. An activity as simple as watching their favorite television show with them, or making a trip to the mall to search for the all-important clothing purchase will offer opportunities for you to listen and for them to open up to you about their lives.

Let them make mistakes, but be there when they do. Allowing them to make choices and experience the consequences of those choices will prepare them for those times when you aren’t there to tell them what to do.

Pick your battles. It’s easy as a parent to constantly give advice, even to the point of overly controlling their lives. Save those showdowns for the biggies: drinking, smoking, drugs, and sex. Don’t stress so much over their clothing choices or their hair styles. They are teenagers. They want to fit in. If you’re not always battling them over the small things, they will be more receptive when you do put your foot down.

Staying connected with your teen can be challenging, but the rewards far outweigh the difficulties. When your teen turns to you and finally says, “thanks Mom” or “thanks Dad”, it’s all worth it!

college guidance, college planning, parenting, Uncategorized

The 3 P's-Preparation Prevents Panic

I hate to admit it, but I’ve always been a procrastinator. It’s not one of my most admirable traits and oftentimes it results in some rather stressful moments. I’ve made every attempt to learn from my past mistakes, but old habits tend to die hard.

When I feel the urge to procrastinate, I remind myself of this simple montra: Preparation Prevents Panic. It applies to every area of our lives, especially as you navigate the college maze of information, forms, applications, and deadlines.

Preparation is the key to not only surviving, but remaining unstressed during the next four years. If you follow these simple guidelines, you won’t panic during your college-bound teen’s senior year.

  • Save everything-Keep essays, announcements, awards, report cards, and any records that might pertain to their college profile resume.
  • Watch the deadlines–Get yourself a “write-on” calendar and keep abreast of upcoming deadlines for scholarships and college testing.
  • Stay involved-Don’t expect your teen to keep abreast of everything on their own. They will be busy and need your help staying on-track and focused.
  • Stay organized-Keep all your college-related records in one place.
  • Don’t be afraid to ask questions-If you have questions about anything related to the college process ask your teen’s counselor, do some internet research, or you can always post a question here and I’ll do my best to get you a quick and helpful answer.

If you keep these suggestions in mind, you won’t be tempted to procrastinate which will result in panic.

Say it with me: Preparation Prevents Panic!

college guidance, college planning, parenting, test prep

Heads Up…Freshman Parents!

high school juniorsThe beginning of the school year is approaching for new high school freshmen and it’s time to start thinking about college. Yes, that’s right. It’s time to start the college preparation process so that three years down the road you aren’t scrambling to pull it all together. As a parent, your involvement during the high school years will become even more intense as a source of guidance and encouragement.

Freshman parents–>It’s time to sit them down and formulate a plan for the next four years by establishing open communication and discussion. You can do this by talking about their goals, letting them know what is expected of them, and encouraging them to take an active role in their future.

Here are some topics that you might want to discuss with them:

  • The importance of an education and how it will affect their future
  • The goals and dreams you have for them and the goals they have for  themselves
  • Any rules you have regarding study time, curfew and school activities
  • The importance of balance between school and extracurricular activities
  • The classes and activities that will promote their interests and their college aspirations
  • The value of a good reputation, strong character, and leadership
  • Talk about establishing a strong work ethic and how it will benefit them as they pursue a career

It’s also a good idea to meet with their high school counselor early in the year to discuss the 4 year course plan and establish a presence as a concerned parent. You will be amazed at how many parents become less involved with their student’s education when they enter high school. Teachers and administrators will appreciate your involvement and your teen will know that you are still involved in their lives.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Do NOT become one of those parents who push and shove and control their teen. It’s a fine line between involvement and control. Be a guide, and an encourager, not a boss or a dictator.

college planning, parenting, scholarships

Will your teen be ready for college?

If you are the parent of an 8th grader, or younger, that is probably the last thing on your mind. High school looms ahead and so do the “terrible teens” and you’re just hoping to survive unscathed.

For one parent of an 8th grader, however, that question is much more prominent in the front of his mind. Michael Sparks’ daughter, Aubrey, will be skipping high school and headed off to college in the fall. She’s been bored in middle school and taken the SAT and managed to score high enough for college admission.

When I read the news story I wondered how could a 14 year old be ready for college life? My 18 year old was barely ready. As parents we try and prepare our kids for all the foreseeable scenarios that might happen once they are on their own and free from parental control and guidance. But there are always those moments when they are faced with choices and have to draw on the lessons they have learned and the values they’ve been taught.

Will your teen be ready for college? It doesn’t happen over night. It takes more than planning and preparation for the admissions process. Begin early training them on how to respond to peer pressure, making the right choices, establishing good study habits, and handling the financial aspect of being independent.

If your teen is headed for college in the fall, take a look at this post on Radical Parenting. It gives you some topics to discuss with them before they leave the nest and head off to that muchly anticipated college experience.