Category Archives: Uncategorized

college guidance, parenting, Uncategorized

The #1 Party School Crown

This year the Princeton Review named Penn State the #1 Party School. Last year it was University of Florida. I remember when my daughter was headed off to college, Southwest Texas State University (now Texas State) claimed the title. Does that mean that the schools that aren’t rated don’t party? Of course not. It means that the students who were polled online gave responses that garnered them that title. They wear it proudly. However sobering that thought may be, it’s a reality.

This American Life did an interesting series of podcasts about the college drinking culture. As a parent, it was an eye opener. Don’t get me wrong, I know that both my kids drank in college. I was not naive to think they would avoid alcohol for four years. But listening to this podcast definitely raises some serious questions regarding college drinking and its affect on our young college students.

Here are a few questions you might want to ask yourself before your teen heads off to college:

  1. Would you let your teen go to the #1 Party School (or even one that was ranked)?
  2. How concerned are you about college binge drinking?
  3. Do you think drinking is a rite of passage for college students?
  4. How can you discourage your teen from overindulging in alcohol while in college?
  5. Considering that a large portion of college drinking happens at frat parties, would you discourage involvement in Greek life?
  6. Does your daughter understand that drinking often leads to hooking up that she might regret later?
  7. Would drinking and the affect it has on college students make you think twice about allowing them to live in a dorm or even leave home for college?
  8. How can you impress the importance of a college education when the college culture revolves around beer bongs, frat parties, and binge drinking?
  9. Knowing that drinking causes negative consequences, how can you teach your teen to make the right choices before they are on their own and being influenced by their peers?
  10. Is the value of a college education devalued because of the college drinking culture?

Head over to This American Life where you can stream the broadcast for free or download it for $.99. The interviews cover conversations with Penn State students, people in the surrounding neighborhood, officers, and establishments in the area. You will hear students talk about their drinking escapades and girls talking about the behavior drinking induces. You will listen to guys talk about inducing a drunken state in the hopes of getting the girl into bed.

It’s eye-opening and a bit disturbing. But, as a parent, you need to know about the culture so you can help prepare your teen. You should talk about drinking and prepare them for the inevitable onslaught of peer pressure to drink. If your teen is headed off to college in the fall, listen to this podcast with them and use it to open the discussion.

college costs, college planning, parenting, Uncategorized

Campus Dough: A Smart Spending Alternative

When my daughter was in college, she was inundated with credit card offers: in the mail, on campus, and via telephone. During freshman orientation, they signed her up for a local checking account and accompanying credit card on the spot. I have to say, at the time it was convenient and easy. But looking back, that one credit card led to debt and made it easier to sign up for more. After graduating from college, she had accumulated some hefty credit card balances due to the convenience of using those cards.

University Parent Media, seeing the need for smart spending alternatives to credit cards, has partnered with StorValue and created a program for college students that offers two amazing benefits: controlled spending and cash back rewards. Campus Dough, a low-fee, reward-filled prepaid debit card, provides unmatched benefits for students and their families. Campus Dough gives collegians shopping, restaurant discounts and a new way to manage money through virtual banking and online tools. Parents can use Campus Dough to help ensure security and responsible spending.

Here are some appealing benefits for both parents and college-bound teens:

  1. They can arrange for direct deposit to their card from their jobs on campus; eliminating check cashing fees and wait time.
  2. They can personalize their card with their favorite image or photo.
  3. Campus Dough allows them to manage their account, transfer funds and pay bills on their smart phones.
  4. They earn a percentage of each transaction with cash back rewards; and if they follow Campus Dough on Facebook or Twitter, they can take advantage of special offers.
  5. They may find they no longer need a checking account after using this card, eliminating high bank fees.
  6. Their colleges also earn rewards.
  7. Parents can transfer funds to the card by linking to their checking accounts.
  8. This is an effective method to control spending.

According to Campus Dough, “the more dough you spend, the more dough you earn, AND the more dough you SAVE!”

Take some time today to visit their website and watch the video presentations on how the card works.  Once you do, I’m sure you’ll see the benefits of this card and sign up for one today. It’s the smart way to help your college-bound teen learn about budgeting, spending and the benefits of graduating with good credit and minimal debt.

college majors, college planning, Uncategorized

Changing majors because of the recession

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Our guest blog post today is by Susan Posluszny, the founder of OPTIONS for Career & Life Planning, specializing in unique programs and services to support students with college major and career planning. Susan is a Master Career Counselor with over 25 years of career counseling experience including 18 years as a college career center director. She is the author of In Search of a College Major & Career Direction, an interactive program designed to support teens and young adults with choosing a college major and career path.Her career counseling and coaching practice is located in New Boston, NH. Subscribe to Susan’s e-newsletter, Career Options, at www.collegesandmajors.com

As I looked over an issue of a local town newspaper last June, I came upon an article covering the area high school’s 2009 class of graduates.  As you might expect, the article included comments from graduating students and proud parents along with other graduation event details.  While reading the article, I was struck by a comment made by one soon to be graduate who said that the current recession had led him to change his college major from political science to engineering.

Naturally, the career counselor in me kicked in and, if I had known this student, I would have asked him the following questions:

  • What was it that drew you to your original college major choice of political science?
  • What kind of work were you thinking of getting into related to political science and did you ever speak with anyone employed in this area of interest?
  • How do those who work in political science careers deal with the instability that comes with unpredictable voting outcomes and job market fluctuations?
  • If you can’t answer this last question, how might you get answers from those who are ‘in the know’?
  • How long have you considered engineering as a major?
  • What do you know about engineering career options?
  • Have you ever spoken with anyone who works in an engineering related career?
  • Have you ever job shadowed workers in either political science or engineering careers?

I would ask these questions not because I’m opposed to this graduate’s decision to shift from a major in political science to engineering.  Rather, my intention would be to see if this decision was made based on accurate career information and reflection about personal priorities or based on a knee jerk reaction to current economic conditions.  Job market fluctuations are a reality and, yes, the current job market is a challenging one.  Yet, that does not mean students need to ignore their career aspirations.

If I were coaching this student, my advice would depend on his answers to the questions above.  If he were not informed, I would guide him to make sure his assumptions are accurate.  I would also encourage him to consider scenarios that support exploration of these two interest areas over time.  For example, one option might be to major in engineering while taking as many political science courses as possible (maybe even leading to a minor in political science).  A major in engineering could also be combined with volunteer work related to his political science interests.

Bottom line…watch out for knee jerk fear based decisions based on an unusually tight job market. If employment security is a concern, do your homework and learn about things you can do to create your own sense of security while doing work that you enjoy.

Copyright, Susan B. Posluszny, OPTIONS for Career & Life Planning LLC

If you would like to contact Susan or find out more information about the services she provides, you can contact her at:

Her websites: www.careeroptions4me.com and www.collegesandmajors.com

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/susanposluszny

Email:  susan@careeroptions4me.com

college planning, parenting, Uncategorized

10 Concepts Your Teen Should Learn BEFORE College

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parenting teensToday’s post was inspired by a chat last night on Twitter hosted by @TheOnlineMom and led by @BetsyBBraun. The topic of the chat was parenting, and the plethora of parenting advice reminded me that part of being a successful parent college coach begins long before they enter high school.

Borrowing from the advice of these wise parents, and some tips of my own, I’ve compiled a list of concepts your teen should know BEFORE heading off to college.

1-Consequences

Teach your college-bound teen that actions have consequences: both good and bad. Allowing them to suffer the negative consequences of not following through will help them understand the importance of completion. This also shows them that completing tasks will produce positive consequences.

2-Self-respect

When your college-bound teen respects their own body, they will take care of it and themselves. This respect will affect how they respond to others sexually and to themselves physically. When they respect themselves, they are less likely to seek that acceptance and approval from others.

3-Rules

Our children need to learn that life is filed with rules. These rules, if followed, are there to protect them. Rules provide structure and order. This concept helps them adapt and adjust to the world they will live in as adults.

4-Communication

Open communication is the key to good relationships. Yelling is NOT communicating. It only fosters more yelling. Listening is the most important aspect of communication. Allow your teen to participate in the conversations as you listen. This fosters communication because they will learn that you value their opinion.

5-Self reliance

Children can’t learn without being given responsibility. Teens learn self-reliance when we give them the opportunity to make choices. Even though they might make the wrong choices, they learn from their mistakes. They also learn how to make the right choices. Give them responsibility and allow them to struggle.

6-Gratitude

When we give our kids everything they don’t appreciate what they do have. Teaching them to work for what they want goes a long way to helping them become productive adults. Sometimes we have to say no, knowing that giving in will produce a spoiled child–an attitude of ingratitude.

7-Boundaries

Children want boundaries. They need to know what is expected of them. This gives them stability and a feeling of safety. While they may question these boundaries, they will also respond positively to them in the long run.

8-Self-control

Children learn behavior from their parents. Acting out, anger and yelling are learned behaviors. When they see us lose control, they mirror our behavior. This behavior will manifest itself when they are away at college and cause them a tremendous amount of grief.

9-Consistency

Threatening your teen with consequences and not following through establishes inconsistency and creates confusion. When you set rules and boundaries and they are broken you must be consistent with the consequences. Let your child know what is expected of them and then follow through when you tell them no: be consistent.

10-Praise

Every teen should feel that their accomplishments are worthy of praise. Give praise liberally; less frequently than criticism. Positive affirmation is always more effective than negative recognition.

Being a successful parent college coach requires time, patience, and a willingness to sometimes be the bad guy. We are NOT to be our kids friends; we are their parents. Parenting is a huge responsibility that requires a commitment to firmness when it’s often easier to be lenient. Make sure your college-bound teen learns these concepts BEFORE they head off to college and face the world as an adult. They will be happier, you will be happier, and the people they come in contact with will recognize the positive affects of your parenting.

________________________________________________

Betsy Brown Braun has written a book called You’re Not the Boss of Me, offering parenting advice on “brat-proofing” your child.

You can also read ALL the responses in last night’s Twitter chat by entering #theonlinemom on Twitter.

college guidance, college planning, parenting, Uncategorized

U Chic: A must-read for college-bound girls

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Sugar and spice and everything nice, that’s what little girls are made of! And now your little girl is headed off to college armed with her favorite pair of shoes, her newly purchased collegiate sweatshirt and a heart full to dreams. U Chic: The College Girl’s Guide to Everything, by Christie Garton, should accompany her as well.

Christie Garton says, “I wanted to create a place where college women could ocme together to find support and advice during one of the most important times of a girl’s life…contributors with a diverse range of experience.” Tracy Won Briggs, former coordinator of USA Today’s All-USA Acacemic and Teacher Teams says, “From the sisterhood of girlfriends who’ve been there, U Chic answers everything a college girl really wants to know.”

I found this book more than helpful: it was inspiring. The women who contributed (from different colleges throughout the country) did so to exhort, encourage, instruct and inspire those who would come after them; thus leaving a legacy for future generations. It is a collection of advice from women about college life and the struggles and victories along the way.

Your college-bound daughter will find information related to arriving on campus, dealing with her fashionista wardrobe, Greek life, surviving temptation, love life, getting involved, budgeting, taking advantage of the college perks, and what to do after graduation. I especially enjoyed the chapter on healthy and happy living because I felt it addressed some sensitive issues related to eating disorders and weight. The contributors also adequately addressed questions regarding Greek life as it relates to girls and temptations they will face while in college. On a lighter note, there is a chapter entitled Blirting 101: socializing via Blackberry.

After reading this book (and happily reminiscing about my daughter’s college experiences), I wished she would have had this to read the summer before she headed off to college. If your daughter is in this category, get her a copy to read and take with her next fall. If you know a girl who is graduating next month, this would make an excellent graduation gift.

After reading this book, I would have to agree with Christie when she says, “there has not been a generation of college women hungrier for success, yet also more generous with their time and energy to assist those less fortunate. They are not just students at their respective schools, but students of the world–open-minded, openhearted, and open to what the future holds for them.”

college guidance, college news, parenting, Uncategorized

Top 10 Things every parent should know about “hooking up” in college

 

A recent article on CNN.com addressed the issue of hooking up and not hooking up on college campuses. While it’s not a subject that parents like to discuss, it is a reality. I know when my naïve 18 year old daughter headed off to college, it was one of my biggest fears. Knowing what it means, how to address it and what to do if it happens should help ease your mind a bit.

Here’s my Top 10 list of things every parent should know:

1. What is hooking up?

The term “hook up” is vague, but is usually defined as a no-commitment, physical encounter with a stranger or acquaintance. Hooking up can range from just a casual get-together to a make out session to sexual intercourse. Knowing this makes it difficult to discern just what it means when your college student tells you they “hooked up” with so and so.

2. Hooking up is today’s alternative to dating.

When we were in school, everyone dated. That meant going to the movies, out for pizza, and spending time together getting to know one another. In today’s culture, hooking up often precedes the dating.

3. Hooking up IS happening on campus.

According to the article on CNN.com, “various academic studies have cited at least 75 percent of women have engaged in hooking up on campus, and the number is usually higher for men.”  If your college-bound teen enters that culture, they are going to be confronted with this type of behavior.

4. Hooking up is every parent’s nightmare.

Yes. It brings terror into our hearts to think that our sweet little child would even consider hooking up with an absolute stranger. But the unfortunate reality is that it does happen and it’s your job as a parent to be informed and help your college-bound teen to be prepared.

5. Not EVERY college student is doing it.

This knowledge will help you in talking with your teen about his or her options. Many college campuses have groups that exist to offer alternatives to hooking up and give students the power to say no to that culture. (Check out the Love and Fidelity Network)

6. You need to have the sex talk with your college bound teen BEFORE they leave for college.

This means you need to open up the dialogue about hooking up, what it means, and the fact that they have choices. You are the most powerful influence on your child and now is the time to get them the information they need before they leave home. They may act like they aren’t listening, but they are. Look for opportunities to discuss the risks of hooking up and the alternatives.

7. Denial is NOT an option.

Hiding your head in the sand is not the way to address this issue. It’s your job as a Parent College Coach to accept the reality of this culture and prepare your teen for his or her first hooking up encounter on campus. When it happens (and it will) it won’t blind side them, giving them with options.

8. Peer pressure is a HUGE factor.

Peer pressure in college can be even greater than in high school. Your child is alone, surrounded by all types of behavior. You aren’t there to pull in the reins and they are free to go in any direction they choose. The hook up culture can be hard to avoid; and if your college student decides to go Greek, the pressure intensifies.

9. Hooking up is most often precipitated by alcohol.

The drinking culture on college campuses drives the hook up culture. Young, naïve students get drunk and lose control of their emotions. Hooking up becomes easier and it provides opportunities for your college student to be coerced into something they might not necessarily choose when sober.

10. It’s a choice your college-bound teen will make.

Your child will have the power to choose. They can choose to hook up or choose not to. They are free to make that choice and it’s a choice that they will be confronted with when they go off to college. Arming them with the knowledge of how to respond to this choice allows them to protect themselves.

Parenting, on the best day, is hard. It’s hard to let go. It’s hard to trust. It’s hard to believe that the child we raised has become independent and knows what they need to know to survive in the world. But it’s our goal as parents to provide them with the knowledge and the tools they need to survive.

Further reading:

No Hooking Up, No Sex for some Coeds

The Sociology of Hooking Up

Hook-Up Survey Presented at Sociology Conference

The hookup culture: Having casual relationships is the new dating

college costs, college planning, financial aid, scholarships, Uncategorized

$2000 "No Essay" College Scholarship

As I stated last week, I love to find scholarships that DON’T require an essay. This week’s scholarship is sponsored by College Prowler.com and it’s a NO ESSAY scholarship. That’s right! All you have to do to be entered in the MONTHLY drawing is complete a short survey on their website and be a current college student or planning to enroll in college within the next 12 months.

The monthly contest begins on the first day of the month, and ends on the last day of every month. You may have one entry per month. It’s SUPER EASY and ANYONE CAN WIN!

Send your college-bound teen to CollegeProwler.com each month for a chance to win a $2000 scholarship. You might as well leverage ALL your opportunities for that FREE money!

college guidance, college planning, parenting, Uncategorized

The Naked Roommate

And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College (Updated 3rd edition)

This week I’m reviewing another of Harlan Cohen’s books and can I just say one word: WOW! This book addresses everything you always wanted to know about college roommates but were afraid to ask…and so much more.

With graduation approaching, this book should be your #1 graduation gift for every college-bound teen. They should read it before heading off to college and carry it with them to campus. Harlan describes his book in the introduction:

It’s based on what today’s college students are honestly thinking, feeling, and doing on today’s college campuses. High schools do a great job of getting students into college, but once on campus, few students know what to expect. That’s what this book is all about–to help you expect the unexpected so that when the unexpected shows up, it won’t be so hard to handle.

The book is published in an easy to read, reference and remember format:

  • The Tip–Simple tips to address each specific subject: arriving on campus, residence halls,  roommates, finding friends, getting involved, Greek life, life inside the classroom, dating and relationships, sex, drinking, drugs, money, things not mentioned in the college brochure, and finally saying goodbye when you graduate.
  • The story behind the tip–These are actual college stories from actual students worded in such a way that your college-bound teen can relate to and understand.
  • The advice–After the tip and the story, comes the advice. This consists of experience (from Harlan and others) and often from college professionals weighing in on the problem.
  • The Bottom Line–Harlan summarizes what your college-bound teen needs to learn from the tip and puts it into simple, easy to remember language.
  • Harlan’s Tip Sheet–This appears at the end of each chapter offering resources, websites, summary tips and additional information.

This book is easy to read and packed with tips and information for the soon-to-be college student. Invest in this book if you’re a parent of a college-bound teen because college is all about Tip#1-Expect the Unexpected!

college guidance, college majors, college planning, parenting, Uncategorized

Career planning tips for parents of teens

options-susan-pOur guest blog post today is by Susan Posluszny, the founder of OPTIONS for Career & Life Planning, specializing in unique programs and services to support students with college major and career planning. Susan is a Master Career Counselor with over 25 years of career counseling experience including 18 years as a college career center director. She is the author of In Search of a College Major & Career Direction, an interactive program designed to support teens and young adults with choosing a college major and career path.Her career counseling and coaching practice is located in New Boston, NH. Subscribe to Susan’s e-newsletter, Career Options, at www.collegesandmajors.com

Think Big Picture

It’s common to overly focus on the details:  Which ‘one’ major should I pick?  Which ‘one’ career should I pursue?  Yet, research studies show that it’s common for students (and adults) to shift direction over time as they explore, grow, and change.  What to do?  Get your student to identify their top 2 – 3 academic and career interests and then explore ways to simultaneously prepare for and reality test more than one interest.  Sound impossible?  Not at all.  Careful selection of academic courses and career exploration strategies (job shadowing, internships, career related employment or volunteer experience) will do it.  Be sure to spread these efforts out over time so as not to overload.

Discard Outdated Notions of ‘Job Security’

Job security in the form of long term employment with one employer in exchange for dedication and hard work is long gone.  Instead, shifts in the work world have been moving towards project based work and ways to match individual interests and skills to marketplace needs.  Don’t expect selection of the ‘right school’, the ‘right degree’, or the ‘right career’ to provide guarantees of post graduation employment or career success.  Today’s students will need to take charge of their own career development in order to ensure a sense of ’employment security’ for themselves.

Consider Career Interests Relative to College Loan Debt

According to the College Board, the average debt for a Bachelor’s degree was $23,200 in 2007-2008.  an individual student’s loan debt can vary significantly from this figure but the bottom line is that many students are feeling pressured to pursue academic and career choices that will allow them to pay off their loans…even if these choices don’t particularly interest or excite them.  So, how about your student?  Will college loan debt drive your student’s college major and career decisions?  If so, it’s as if your student is working for the financial institution.  Help your student to identify their top career interests and to explore creative options for pursuing career preferences while owning one’s financial reality.  Do all that you can to help your student avoid limiting future options by taking on too much debt.

Explore Career Preferences Prior to Choosing a College Major

Many students choose a college major first and then determine their career choice based on their chosen major.  This is a no brainer when a major is directly linked to a career field (nursing, education, engineering, etc.) but this approach has its limits.  First, it doesn’t work so well with majors that cover broad interest areas like English or Business Administration.  Second, many students end up pursuing career interests totally unrelated to their majors.  While it can be helpful for students to consider academic subjects that interest them when choosing a college major/career, it’s also valuable to explore your career interests  Once key career interest themes are identified, research to see if these interests have specific college major requirements.  Chances are that there’s quite a bit of flexibility with academic choices relative to career pursuits.

Copyright, Susan B. Posluszny, OPTIONS for Career & Life Planning LLC

If you would like to contact Susan or find out more information about the services she provides, you can contact her at:

Her websites: www.careeroptions4me.com and www.collegesandmajors.com

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/susanposluszny

Email:  susan@careeroptions4me.com

Uncategorized

Preparation Pays Off

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sarah
Sarah Jackson, left, helps Miranda Lunsford, right, to study vocabulary words at West Monroe High School.

Having teenagers in the house, and if they’re college-bound teens, requires patience and organization. Between shuffling back and forth to school, activities and social events, a parent needs that focus that requires strong organization and preparation. Preparing for college can be overwhelming without that organization and focus on the goal.

I ran across an article this month about a young girl that understood the value of preparation and how it plays in the college admissions process. Sarah Jackson, of West Monroe High School in Shreveport, Louisiana, experienced the benefits of that preparation first hand. She snagged herself a full-tuition scholarship at the University of Alabama in the fall. How did she do it? Research, preparation, focus and determination during her high school career.

Sarah and her family began researching colleges during her sophomore year. According to an article in the Shreveport News Star:

Jackson and her family began researching colleges and universities when she was in her sophomore year of high school and started campus visits in the spring and summer of her junior year.

Those visits, Jackson said, changed her mind on what she thought was her “dream school.”

“Alabama was the last college that I had planned to visit,” she said. “Washington University in St. Louis is where I wanted to go.”

But she said her experience at the University of Alabama was different. “It was just a feeling,” she said. “I knew it when I walked around campus.”

The clincher, according to Sarah, was the promise of a full-tuition scholarship with an ACT score of 32. She worked hard, studied, took practice tests and managed to bring her score up to 32 after several attempts at the test. She took the test her freshman year as a baseline, but found after several attempts, her score did not improve. So Sarah buckled down and put some work into it, determined to hit the mark. And she did!

What’s the lesson here? Preparation pays off. The college admissions process doesn’t just happen senior year. The early years of high school are just as important as the final one. All the components of preparation from course selections, to college research, to scholarship applications, to college visits, to the essay and recommendation letters, to the final application require planning and focus.

Encourage your college-bound teen to take the time to do the research and prepare. That preparation might just pay off!