I’ve been reading quite a few articles lately about parents complaining about the cost of college admissions advice, test preparation, and parent counseling. I have to wonder what are these parents expecting? Are they being promised things that the admissions professionsals can’t deliver?
So. I did my research. I found a common thread among the complaints and the promises. The so-called professionals were making promises that they could not guarantee:
As a parent, it’s your job to investigate before you spend your money. If they make promises that seem impossible to fulfill, then the odds are they can’t guarantee anything. It’s been my experience that only a handful of professionals truly know the admissions process well enough to guide you and your teen. If you choose to pay someone hefty fees to personally guide your teen, make sure they are members of reputable organizations and certified as a college admissions counselor.
According to a recent article in The New York Times:
“When you say things like, ‘We know the secrets of getting in,’ it kind of implies that it’s not the student’s ability,” said Mark H. Sklarow, executive director of the association, in Fairfax, Va. “It suggests that there’s some kind of underground code.”
….admissions officers say that no outsider can truly predict how a particular applicant might fare.
It’s always your choice on how you spend your money. Whether you choose to employ the services of an admissions counselor or you choose to gather all the information yourself and guide your teen yourself. You have to do what’s best for you and your teen. But remember, there are no guarantees. And there is no substitute for hard work, research and preparation.
It doesn’t matter how close you were before they entered high school, the tension always mounts and the temptation is to drift apart. It takes a concerted effort on your part to stay in touch with their world. They are naturally moving toward independence and we are naturally grasping to keep them from growing up. And thus begins the ying and yang of parent/teenager relationships.
During high school your teens will experience every form of human emotion: joy, sadness, rejection, fear of failure, excitement, disappointment, heartache, love, and the list goes on and on. Most of the emotions are extreme and always seem like the end of the world to them. It’s hard to convey to them that “this too shall pass” and they will realize as they get older that their life is just beginning.
They are looking ahead to the future while living in the present. Keeping on track and keeping their eyes on the prize (graduation and college) can be challenging. As their parent coach and encourager, and the all-knowing, all-wise adult in their life, it’s up to you to stay connected and help them maintain their focus.
Here are a few of my own tips to help you stay connected with your teen:
Find that time when you can sit with them and listen. This is not easy, because many teens rarely sit still for very long to have a conversation. I would sit in my daughter’s room while she picked out her clothes and dressed to go out. You’ll be amazed at how much information you can gather if you simply listen.
Share something they enjoy. It might not be your choice of activities, but if you share a common interest it gives you something to talk about. An activity as simple as watching their favorite television show with them, or making a trip to the mall to search for the all-important clothing purchase will offer opportunities for you to listen and for them to open up to you about their lives.
Let them make mistakes, but be there when they do. Allowing them to make choices and experience the consequences of those choices will prepare them for those times when you aren’t there to tell them what to do.
Pick your battles. It’s easy as a parent to constantly give advice, even to the point of overly controlling their lives. Save those showdowns for the biggies: drinking, smoking, drugs, and sex. Don’t stress so much over their clothing choices or their hair styles. They are teenagers. They want to fit in. If you’re not always battling them over the small things, they will be more receptive when you do put your foot down.
Staying connected with your teen can be challenging, but the rewards far outweigh the difficulties. When your teen turns to you and finally says, “thanks Mom” or “thanks Dad”, it’s all worth it!
I hate to admit it, but I’ve always been a procrastinator. It’s not one of my most admirable traits and oftentimes it results in some rather stressful moments. I’ve made every attempt to learn from my past mistakes, but old habits tend to die hard.
When I feel the urge to procrastinate, I remind myself of this simple montra: Preparation Prevents Panic. It applies to every area of our lives, especially as you navigate the college maze of information, forms, applications, and deadlines.
Preparation is the key to not only surviving, but remaining unstressed during the next four years. If you follow these simple guidelines, you won’t panic during your college-bound teen’s senior year.
If you keep these suggestions in mind, you won’t be tempted to procrastinate which will result in panic.
Say it with me: Preparation Prevents Panic!
If you have a college-bound teen, (entering college in the fall) or a college student (all the way through grad school), check this scholarship opportunity out. Just click the link below for details on how to apply. The deadline is June 30, 2009, so don’t procrastinate! There are some BIG BUCKS available for the environmentally conscious.
Many graduating seniors have decided to take the community college path before heading off to a 4-year university. They will tell you that they’ve made that choice for several reasons: cost, academic preparation, and the freedom to stay at home for the first few years. Community colleges aren’t just training grounds for technical careers, they are also the first stop for about 4 in 10 of college-bound high school graduates.
Here are 8 reasons why community college might be a good fit for your college-bound teen:
Community college might not be for everyone. But, it might be a perfect fit for your teen. And, if your teen is planning on making it the start of a 4-year degree plan, do some research and verify that the classes will transfer to the university they plan to attend. There’s nothing more frustrating than taking a class and finding out the credits won’t transfer.
We’ve all asked that question throughout the course of our lives. But for a senior in April, it’s a daily stress point. Because it’s the month that college acceptance letters arrive. It’s the month that all their hard work (and yours) finally pays off. When they rush home from school and open that envelope and see this word, “Congratulations…” (they rarely read past that word) it’s one of those life moments that brings all their high school struggles into perspective.
The New York Times has devoted a series, “The Envelope Please”, to stories of seniors who received that envelope. There are numerous accounts of acceptances and even rejections; because rejection is a part of the process many times and something we all have to learn to deal with. If you’re a parent of a soon-to-be senior, you should read the articles. It might help you with that all-important time down the road.
I remember very clearly that month in my daughter’s life. She had a list of 7 schools that she had applied for admittance. Her #1 choice was Boston University. She had worked so hard with admission interviews, phone calls, and making sure her application was complete. When the letter arrived she was afraid to open the envelope. But when she did, she jumped up and down, screaming with joy and excitement.
As it turned out, she was accepted to all 7 of the schools that she applied to. The four years of hard work paid off and the wait was over. Now the decision followed: which school would she be attending? This decision was a difficult one. And one that many parents and teens struggle with. Why? Because for most families, college choice is weighted by the amount of the college’s financial aid package. As it was for our family.
Tomorrow I’ll be talking about that decision and the lessons we learned along the way. If you’re a parent of a college-bound teen, you won’t want to miss that post.
Do you have a teen that just received their acceptance letter this year? What was your experience like? Was it a positive one?
Parenthood. There have been thousands of books written on this subject. From my experience, the hardest part of parenting is coaching them to do things themselves and attain increased levels of independence. As far as the college process goes, you have 3 roles as a parent. I like to call them the 3 C’s of Coaching.
Chart the Course
It’s your responsibility to help them plan for the future. It all starts in the 8th grade as they prepare themselves to enter college. Picking the right classes and mapping out a plan for the next four years is crucial.
Catalog the Journey
Keeping track of the next four years is critical. You will be amazed at the plethora of activity your teen will be involved in over their high school careers. When senior year rolls around and you’re applying to colleges, their resume is a vital part of the application package. If you’ve done your job and helped them catalog their awards and accomplishments, the resume part of the application will be painless
Cheer them on to find their passion
This doesn’t mean do it for them. It means guide them and encourage them to be a part of the college process. Help them understand that their grades matter. Encourage them to become well-rounded teens by volunteering and being involved in school activities. Guide them to find their passion and use that passion to help them establish their personal brand–that brand the sets them apart from all other applicants.
I’ve observed parents that push and poke and nag their teens to be like them. I’ve witnessed teens feeling overwhelmed by the expectations of parents who wanted them to be successful to dissuade their own insecurities as parents.
Be a cheerleader, not a taskmaster. If you follow the 3 C’s (Chart, Catalog, and Cheer) your teen will be happy, well-rounded, and prepared for college.
The 2008-2009 school year is coming to an end. Seniors will be graduating and moving on to college, technical school or trade school. Juniors will officially be seniors with a busy year ahead of them before walking across that stage next May or June. Senior year is NOT the time to coast, relax and develop senioritis. It’s the time to get all your ducks in a row and start a timeline for college planning. Here’s some suggestions from experience that might help.
Summer
Harvard University has adopted a new financial aid policy. It’s geared toward reaching out to families who are considered middle-low income ($180,00-$60,000). And if you’re in the low end (below $60,000)–hold on to your socks–your child can attend at no cost! That’s right; an Ivy league education FREE OF CHARGE.
According to President Drew Faust:
Our new financial aid policy has dramatically reduced the amount families with incomes below $180,000 are expected to pay, and parents of families with incomes below $60,000 are not expected to contribute at all to college costs. We no longer consider home equity as a resource in our determination of a family contribution, and students are not expected to take out loans, which have been replaced by need-based Harvard scholarship. This new program has reduced the cost to middle income families by one-third to one-half, making the price of a Harvard education for students on financial aid comparable to the cost of in-state tuition and fees at the nation’s leading public universities.
What’s the catch? Your child has to be accepted. But if you have an honor student who has the grades and can meet their admission criteria, my advice to you is to GO FOR IT! With the cost of education rising every year, Harvard has taken the lead by offering this amazing opportunity and making their school affordable to the middle class. They are even claiming that the graduating class of 2008 is graduating with ONLY an $8300 debt. Considering the cost of a Harvard education, that’s a remarkable claim.
What have you got to lose? A $200,000 private university education completely PAID IN FULL. I don’t know about you but I wish it had been available when my kids were applying for financial aid and scholarships. It would have eased the burden and provided a much-needed financial savings.
You can read all about the offer by clicking this link:
