Category Archives: Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Making the Illogical Logical-The Final College List

July 23, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer 1 Comment

Last week, I talked about Illogical college choices; choices that college-bound teens make that have nothing to do with the quality of education. Without strong parenting and some tough love, those illogical choices might make their way onto the final college list. Be strong and remember that you are the parent and often they need a slight dose of reality to snap them back into the realization that this decision is an important one.

Here are the three components of a final college list: reach schools, best fit schools, and safety schools.

Following a name—the dream team

So many students believe that attending a college with a “name” guarantees success. It’s your job to help them understand this is not necessarily true. The best college is the college that fits their academic, social and financial goals. It could be a “name”, but it will most likely won’t. Those colleges have low acceptance rates and give little financial aid. I’m all for dreaming but when it comes to a college list, practically and logic reign.

Following the money—the best bets

The colleges that populate this part of the list are colleges that would put your student at the top of the applicant pool. Of all the reasons, this is the most logical. After careful research, these colleges should be ones that offer everything on your student’s list: financial aid, academic fit, and an emotional connection. It’s not all about the money, but it sure does make the final decision easier.

Following a whim—the sure things

So many students add colleges on a whim just because they can’t decide. This happens more often than not when choosing the safety schools or sure things. These colleges could end up being the colleges that accept them and/or give them the most financial aid. Discuss the choices and make sure that these colleges are colleges your student wants to attend. It will relieve pressure and stress if they offer admission.

Turning illogical choices into logical ones is a delicate balance. Guiding your student in the right direction without forcing is the key. It’s easy—about as easy as threading a camel through the eye of a needle.

Read Wendy’s post: 5 Fantastic Tips to Refine a College List

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Wendy and I will share more insights into making a great college list on Wednesday’s Parent night (the fourth Wednesday of each month) on #CampusChat, Wednesday, July 23, 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will talk about the many factors to consider, how to finalize the list and the parent role in the process. Join us and bring your questions and comments.

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

college guidance, college planning, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Illogical College Choices–Part 1

July 16, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer 1 Comment

In March, Wendy and I discussed how to make a good college list (Part 1). Today, we’re revisiting that advice and adding some additional tips on helping them make those college choices.

Summer vacation is halfway gone and families have most likely been making some preliminary college visits. It’s only natural for students to begin formulating a lists of “wants” when they begin to see themselves in college. However, the difference between what they “want” and what they “need” can be miles apart. It’s your job to rein them in.

You student may list the following illogical things as his must-haves. Next week, I’ll discuss how to steer him in a different direction.

Going to the same school a boyfriend or girlfriend is going to—The danger here is obvious. High school romances rarely last and once the romance ends, so does the love for the college.
Only look at the colleges your best friend is viewing—Friendships, while many last a lifetime, are no reason to make a college choice. Friends oftentimes have different educational goals and career paths. Even if they line up, evaluate the true reasons for choosing the college and be sure it’s not for friendship. Besides, I saw many college friend explosions over the years when my kids were in school. It taints your view of the environment.
Choose a college because you love their football team—Being a Texas Aggie fan or a Texas Longhorn fan or a Notre Dame fan is no reason to attend their college. Investigate their academic programs and choose it if it gives you the best education for your needs and for your dollar.
Choose a college based on its “party” ranking—You would be surprised how many students choose schools that are ranked high as a party school. They convince their parents it’s for the academics, but truthfully it is not. My son did this after the Marine Corps. It was the worst decision he ever made. Too much partying equals academic failure. Besides, even the most stringent academic institutions have parties.
Limiting location—Don’t just look at colleges close to home. Check out some schools that are a little further away. It will increase your options.
Let the choice just happen—Many teens just slide in to the most comfortable place: they got an email from someone; their friend suggests it; their parents went there. Neither of these are good reasons to attend college.
Pick a college to impress someone—This is not a reason to choose a college. Keeping up with the Jones’ or trying to impress your friends will only result in your teen being unhappy at school.
Believe that the harder a college is to get into, the better it must be—The best colleges are sometimes the ones that have a high rate of acceptance. Research is the key to finding out the benefits of these schools.
Assume that all colleges are the same—All colleges offer an education, but not all colleges are the same. Programs, athletics, campus life, and even teaching styles vary. All of these can affect the overall college experience.
Rely on someone else’s opinion—Never assume anything about a particular college until you investigate and gather information. Opinions vary and at any given time you will always find someone that loves or hates a particular school.

Now read Wendy’s post: 2 Phases, 3 Points for Forming a College List

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Wendy and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from parentingforcollege to pocsmom.com and vice versa.

college visits, Uncategorized, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: College Visits and the Illogical

July 9, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer

I will never forget Nancy Berk’s chapter in her book, College Bound and Gagged, when she talks about college visits. It only seems fitting as we revisit the student role in the college visit that I share Nancy’s story of a fairly common visit since we are revisiting the student’s role in the college visit today. She calls it “The Tour de Chance” and it goes like this:

Yes, there’s a chance you could land on campus and your teen will refuse to get out of the car. It’s pretty common, totally baffling, and goes something like this . . .

Son: I’ve seen enough; let’s go.

Parent: But we haven’t even parked the car yet.

Son: You don’t think I can tell already? I DON’T like it here.

Parent: But we’re finally here. Let’s get out and look around.

Once the visit is completed, the verdict is in and it’s far from logical. The campus can be breathtaking and the tour guide engaging, but don’t assume your teen’s impression will reflect that. Rejection rationale is not logical or consistent across high school juniors and seniors. Rejection reasons are often bipolar. They include:

Too many beautiful students–it’s not normal

Too many badly dressed students–it’s not normal

Gloomy weather–totally depressing

Too much sunshine–totally depressing

During tour experiences, parents wait for logical academic rejection reasons. Instead they are bombarded with reasons related to fashion, temperature, food and architecture. One friend was perplexed by the value her daughter placed on dormitory bathroom configurations.

Still seemingly ridiculous rejection reasons are easier to understand than the vague one most parents hear–“I just don’t like the look”. Teens can’t explain it, but they are 100% certain from “the look” that this college experience will be the worst one.

For more student college visit quirks check out my previous blog: The Student Role in the College Visit

And then read Wendy’s post: Must-know tricks and tips for successful college visits

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Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Top 5 Posts about Safety

July 2, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer 1 Comment

“If you were my child, I would staple you to your bedroom wall.”
― Myra McEntire, Hourglass

Safety—are we ever truly safe? Every parent has probably voiced the above words or similar ones at some time or another. All we can do is give our kids the tools they need to avoid those situations that put them in danger. And then we have to let go and trust that it is enough.

Today’s Wednesday’s Parent revisits the topic of safety with my top 5 posts about safety:

6 Campus Safety Apps

It’s sad that we live in a time when we don’t feel safe at school. Schools used to be the safest place for kids, protected by teachers and staff and away from predators. Not anymore.

Safety First

Teaching safety begins when your child begins to walk and touch things. “Watch out it’s hot!” “Be careful, you could hurt yourself.” “Look both ways before you cross the street.” When your kids go off to college you worry about their safety. Why? Because you won’t be there to protect them and see that they stay safe.

6 Campus Safety Talking Points

Parenting on good days can be frightening. You never know when some unexpected event will occur and rock your world. It’s impossible to prepare for every unexpected occurrence, but we can take the time to equip our children with the knowledge and the tools they need to keep themselves from falling into dangerous situations.

Are You Concerned About Campus Security

Even though the thought of your child attending college brings forth feelings of pride and anticipation, if they are going to be living on campus, it’s understandable why it may also evoke a certain amount of concern. We all have read the news stories of unfortunate crimes that have happened at various colleges and universities across the country prompting you to investigate the security and safety of your child’s prospective colleges.

School Shootings—What’s a Parent to Do?

Every parent of college-bound teens should ask this question during the campus visit (preferably not in the presence of your student): what systems do you have in place to protect my child in the event of an emergency such as the Virginia Tech shooting?

Read Wendy’s Post: Safety Revisited

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parenting, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: 5 Things a College-Bound Teen Should NOT Do This Summer

June 25, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer 1 Comment

It’s a well-known fact that admissions officers are concerned with how a student spends their spare time. Come application time, how your student spends the summer can either pump up your application or find them embarrassed to list those summer activities. Here are five things a college-bound teen should NOT do this summer:

1. Become an expert at Minecraft — spend the summer glued to the gaming console, stuffing your face with chips, cookies, and various snack foods while mastering the game.

2. Watch the all the seasons of Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, or Mad Men — spend the summer binge watching any number of shows you missed during the school year, failing to leave the couch or the house for all three months.

3. Cram 20 extracurricular activities into one summer — sign up for everything that’s available from Habitat for Humanity, to Special Olympics, to volunteering at the soup kitchen; racking up enough activities to make the high school resume a volume.

4. Lay out at the beach and/or the pool working on your (skin cancer) tan — spend every waking moment outside lounging in the sun, listening to tunes on your iPod, and flirting with the opposite sex; impressing admissions officers with your ability to navigate the complicated social structure of high school.

5. Live at the gym working on your physique — spend hours, days, weeks, and months at the gym crafting an Arnold Schwarzeneger look, pounding down vitamin shakes and muscle building supplements.

All kidding aside, summer is meant to be fun, relaxing and a break from the rigors of the school year. But a summer that doesn’t include learning and some college prep is an opportunity wasted.

Read Wendy’s post: The Surprise on a College-Bound Summer To-Do List

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Tonight’s #CampusChat at 9PM ET addresses the summer to-do-list and how it affects the college application process. Join me (@suzanneshaffer) and @collegevisit as we host our monthly #WednesdaysParent with guest Ashley Hill of College Prep Ready, a consulting service for college-bound teens and their families (@prepforcollege).

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parenting, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Motivating an Unmotivated Student

June 18, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer 1 Comment

I’m well acquainted with this necessary parenting technique: I had an unmotivated student. It’s not that he wasn’t capable of achieving academic success; it was just that he didn’t have the motivation or the desire to do his best. He never soared in high school, or in the first semester of college, but he did reach his academic potential, finally.

It was hard having a child who didn’t grasp his full potential, no matter how much I told him he was capable of straight A’s. It just didn’t matter to him. Passing with average grades was good enough for him. Those grades, however, contributed to some difficult life choices and some hard lessons along the way. In the end, there were four factors that finally motivated him academically:

1. Good old-fashioned competition

My son chose the Marines over attending college; partly because of his grades and partly because the regiment and rules of the military appealed to him. My daughter worked hard in high school and attended college on several scholarships. My son watched her work hard and study and attended her college graduation with us. He had always felt she was smarter than him and that’s why she excelled. But the fact that she had that degree and he didn’t, made him think long and hard about what he wanted after his 4-year stint in the Marines.

2. Economic realities

After getting out of the Marines and immediately starting college, he crashed and burned. He wasn’t ready for the rigors of studying again and he failed miserably his first semester. After that he chose to go to work; and that meant he would be taking a minimum wage job until he found something better. That something better never came and he realized that in order to compete in the workforce, he needed that college degree.

3. The desire to prove something (mostly to himself)

Often, the key to motivating teens is to prove to them it’s possible to achieve a particular goal. He had much to prove: he had to start over at a community college, make good grades so he could transfer to a 4-year college, and stay with it until he finished. This one factor is probably what kept him motivated to graduate; and not just graduate, but graduate with summa cum laude with honors.

4. The promise of a positive outcome

My son knew that a college degree would affect his ability to gain employment in a market when most applicants were college graduates. He also knew that his academic achievements would be a plus on his resume and during job interviews.

The basic point here is that motivating an unmotivated student isn’t an easy task. Unfortunately for my son, I realized too late what would motivate him. The self-motivators, like my daughter, are never a problem. It’s the ones who aren’t motivated no matter what you try. If I had only known these four factors with my son, he might have been accepted at one of the military academies. Hopefully, my lessons learned might help other parents who struggle with unmotivated students.

Read Wendy’s post: Using irony and a proverb as self motivation for your teen

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety.Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

parenting, Uncategorized, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Oh the conversations you should have (before prom)

June 11, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer

A play on words from Dr. Seuss’ “Oh the Places You’ll Go”; oh the conversations you should have before prom. Apart from the tears, the photos, the worrying and the knowledge that your little baby is all grown up, prom should be an opportunity for you to offer some straight talk about the BIG 3: Sex, Drugs and Drinking. Why? Because at every prom there are students who cross the line and participate in some risky behavior they think demonstrates adulthood.

Sex

Is dating gone? What about courtship? According to a recent NY Times article and most high school and college students it’s a dinosaur. They have random “hook ups” with people they meet–which can include anything from making out to oral sex to intercourse. Parents need to know and understand this new culture in order to prepare their students for college. As I’ve said before, preparation is much more than academics.

Read my post: The Hooking Up Culture

Drugs

If you or your child has been in the public school system in the last 30 years you’re familiar with the phrase–just say no. From first grade on, those words have been pounded into the heads of kids giving them an answer to anyone who offers them drugs or any other form of abuse. It’s not the answer sometimes that’s important, as much as the attitude behind the response.

Research shows that kids who have a good relationship with their parents are less likely to pursue a life of abuse. The drug awareness programs give parents some guidelines they say will help. They instruct parents to do several things and lead us to believe that if we follow those rules, our kids are less likely to succumb to peer pressure.

Their suggestions have merit. But the bottom line is that most kids, no matter how strong they appear or how great their relationship is with their parents, are going to find themselves in a situation where just saying “no” is not enough. Just saying “no” will be met with teasing, pressure, and even ridicule. It’s your job as a parent to prepare them for that moment.

Read my post: When Just Say “NO” is not enough

Drinking

Your teens are graduating from high school and heading to college. There are 17 million college students that drink alcohol, and 8.5 million of them are binge drinking. We’ve heard the terms “poor” or “struggling” college student before, but it’s no wonder they are living off of Ramen Noodles when there was a reported $163 billion spent on alcohol in America in 2011. It’s not all fun and games when young people are consuming 2 gallons per person of alcohol. There are negative consequences of this behavior that includes assault, rape, injury and even death.

Take a look at these two info graphics that will underscore the importance of this conversation:

How Much Do College Students Drink

The Truth About College Binge Drinking

These are brutal conversations to have with your teen but it may be the last time you can exert some parental influence before they leave for college in the fall. A good friend of mine, Paul Hemphill, a college admissions counselor, says, “every school is a party school.” A difficult fact to face but a reality. Have the conversations now—and if you’re lucky some of it will sink in.

For more prom tips, read Wendy’s post: Surviving Your Teen’s Prom

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parenting, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Two Kids; Two Types of Students

June 4, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer

If you have more than one child, odds are they are different. One may excel academically and the other may struggle. Parenting both types of students is a challenge for parents, especially if there is competition among the two. I know. I had one of each in my home for 18+ years.

When you have both types of kids, they should be parented differently. You can’t expect the student who struggles to bring home A’s on every report card; and you can’t compare them to the A student. Each has their own academic style and learning capabilities. It doesn’t mean, however, that the student who struggles can’t excel; and it doesn’t mean that the A student will never bring home a B or C.

The “A” Student

Living with an “A” student can be challenging. It doesn’t seem like it would be, but it is. Most students who excel academically are hard on themselves. They see grades as a part of their self-worth. If they don’t make the grades, they have failed. Perfectionism among this demographic is common and often causes all kinds of emotional issues. So much is expected of them to achieve excellence. One college graduate described what her life as an “A” student was like:

“I wanted to dance. Throw a football. Watch a movie, or get in a car and see the world instead of vicariously traveling through stacks of assigned books. Occasionally, I tossed my pen aside and went out, but these instances were rare, and I usually felt guilty about my abandoned pile of work reproducing with each passing second. At the time, I didn’t know why I put so much pressure on myself. My parents didn’t push me. My professors tried to tell me to lighten up and go have some fun. I could only respond, “Stop dishing out so much work.” I could only give it my all, or give nothing. Now I understand that I was a classic perfectionist who had yet to discover how to define my inherent worth without my achievements. Because I didn’t know how to define myself without my perfect grades, I was terrified of failing, and “failure” meant anything less than perfection, causing me years of undo stress.”

“A” students often can’t play, relax or see the lighter side of anything. Their focus is on attaining the highest GPA in their class and this, and only this, is what life is all about. This type of student, more than any other, needs to understand that apart from the grades, they are accepted and loved.

The “C” Student

If you have a “C” student in your house, you have probably tried everything to get their grades up. You’ve tried yelling, punishing, grounding and bribing them into making “A”s. You might have compared them to their brother or sister who is an “A” student. But believe it or not, the “C” students are the happiest. They may struggle in school and force you to have many parent/teacher conferences, but many average students become successful in college and in life.

Robert Kiyosaki, author of “Why “A” Students Work for “C” Students”, urges parents to lighten up. Kiyosaki believes that the school system was created to churn out ‘Es’ / Employees… those “A Students” who read well, memorize well and test well… and not the creative thinkers, visionaries and dreamers –entrepreneurs-in-the-making… those “C Students who grow up to be the innovators and creators of new ideas, businesses, applications and products.

The book urges parents not to be obsessed with their kids’ “letter grades” (“good grades” might only mean they or the student themselves were successful in jamming a square peg into a round hole…) and focus, instead, on concepts, ideas, and helping their child find their true genius, their special gift. The path they can pursue with a love and true passion.

It’s easy to label our kids: he’s smart, or she’s beautiful, or he’s an “A” student, or she’s just an average student. Be careful when you do that. Kids need to, first and foremost, enjoy their education experience. They can’t when there is too much pressure to excel or they are compared to others who have “met the grade” so to speak. Take the advice from valedictorian: it’s not the grades that matter, it’s the person you become that’s important.

Read Wendy’s Post: Parenting the Superstar and the Struggler

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social networks, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Teen Social Media Lifestyles and Outcomes

May 28, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer 2 Comments

Social media is the malt shop of the 50’s, the drive-in movies of the 60’s and 70’s, the mall of the 80’s and 90’s. Today it’s Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, YouTube, SnapChat and Vine. Kids aren’t tethered to physical hangouts any longer. They can gather, communicate and share their life experiences on social media. This makes it easier to make friends and expand your circle, but it is a double-edged sword. It’s not just your friends that see what you say and do, it’s anyone with a computer or smartphone and an internet connection.

A new study from Kaplan has found that 31% of college admission officers check social media to see if an applicant would make a good fit at their educational institution. That number is up by 5% from last year.

Here are four teenage archetypes, their social media lifestyles, and how social media might affect their college admissions chances:

The Garbage in-Garbage Out Teen

She posts every single thought that comes into her head. The picture she paints in social media with her posts, tweets, videos and photos isn’t a true picture is not very appealing. She posts tacky photos, uses foul language, and blasts anyone and everyone who dares to challenge her. It’s not a pretty picture and certainly not one that would be appealing to colleges.

Why? Take the high school student, for example, that posted on her Twitter account that the info session at a particular college was lame and used the college’s hashtag when doing it. She was probably just trying to be cute and post a comment that would get a response from her followers. But guess what? It came back to bite her—ADMISSION DENIED!

The Teen Braggart

This guy loves to bloviate. He brags about his conquests, his love life, his hook ups and just about every other thing he does in high school. He’s full of himself and everyone knows it. Nobody believes anything he says and everyone ignores most of what he posts. This can translate into a “hot air” admissions applicant.

Why? Colleges are looking for students with substance and credibility. They check social media to verify what’s submitted in an application. If this guy follows his pattern, his application will be as much bull as his posts and colleges will catch him in lie after lie. The results—ADMISSION DENIED!

The Teen Seeking Popularity

This teen wants more than anything to be popular. She posts pictures all kinds of questionable behavior. She comments on other posts and pictures just to boost her popularity. She counts the number of likes her photos receive on Instagram and tweets get retweeted on Twitter. She’ll find the most outrageous thinks to upload to Instagram and her YouTube videos are an effort to gain popularity among her peer group. This might pose a problem when applying to college?

Why? Colleges want to know the “real” you, not someone you think people want you to be. This type of behavior tends to conflict with a student who is pursuing academic excellence. Wrong picture = ADMISSION DENIED!

The College-Bound Teen

This guy has it together. He knows that what he posts in social media is a direct reflection on his character and his goals and aspirations. He knows that if he wants to paint an accurate picture, his posts should line up with his resume. If he talks about volunteering in the summer, he knows that he should post pictures on Instagram of that activity. If he discusses his strong commitment to academics, he knows that he shouldn’t tweet about hating school. He respects authority and communicates that in social media. Colleges look favorably on this type of student.

Why? A student who demonstrates strong character and has consistent image in social media shows colleges that he is the real deal. The result—ADMITTED!

As social media continues to be a platform students use for communication, colleges will turn to it more and more for additional information about the applicants.

Ready Wendy’s post: Making Social Media Work for You

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Tonight’s #CampusChat at 9PM ET addresses social media and how it affects the college application process. Join me (@suzanneshaffer) and Wendy (@pocsmomhttp) as we host our monthly #WednesdaysParent with guest Alan Katzman of Social Assurity (@socialassurity), a company founded to help parents and teens evaluate and correct their social media presence before applying to college.

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parenting, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Sibling Rivalry

May 21, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer

Siblings. The very word conjures up thoughts of rivalry. A house with siblings is a house with sibling rivalry. As with any family, competition among siblings begins at an early age. They compete over just about everything: toys, bedtimes, gifts, food, clothing, and the list goes on and on. It’s only natural that the rivalry would increase during the college prep time. But is the rivalry between the siblings of their doing or are you initiating the rivalry by comparing one child to another?

Consider this scenario from a college counselor:

I once worked with two brothers separated by four years. The older brother got into every school he applied to and turned down some of the top schools in the country. When it came to building the younger sibling’s ambitious but more modest college list, he was visibly upset when his father mentioned his brother’s accomplishments repeatedly. In one meeting, I counted the number of times the elder child was mentioned and eventually had to stop the parents when that count reached fifteen. In another situation, a parent said, in front of the child, we don’t want to pay for private school for this child because the younger daughter has more potential and they would rather save their money for her college education.

So here’s the question: are you comparing your children with each other when it comes to college prep? If you are—SNAP OUT OF IT! No two children are alike—emotionally, academically or socially. Expecting one to be like the other is fueling the flames of rivalry. If you are doing this, possibly unknowingly, how can you stop?

Be positive about their individuality

This is a major step in your child’s life, even if you’ve been through it before with the other siblings. Even though you will learn from experiences, it’s important to know that those experiences do not dictate the process with your other children. Focus on the individual process and treat each sibling as you did the first, making them feel special. Listen to them tell you what they want, where they want to go, and how they want to get there. Use experience but make it.

Praise success and celebrate acceptances

Don’t look back; look forward. Even if one sibling may not excel academically in comparison to another, praise all their individual successes. When the decisions arrive, be supportive and excited about all of them, even if some of the colleges don’t necessarily appeal to you. Being accepted to college is a major accomplishment, even if another sibling may have been accepted to colleges with more prestige. Recognize that every child has a specific path in life and each of them can be successful in the path they choose.

Don’t highlight differences, especially in front of others

As we saw in the story above, highlighting another child’s accomplishments or successes in front of others is hurtful to you child. He needs to feel that he is special and unique.

Case in point: my brother experienced this comparison all throughout school. He was two years behind me and struggled academically. I, conversely, was the model student. Teachers especially pointed out that fact to him. My parents, unknowingly, communicated that to him. Because of this, he failed at his first attempt at college. Later in life, after recognizing his strengths, he went on to receive his Ph.D. It was in the comparison that he felt failure.

It’s hard for teenagers to be constantly compared to others, especially when the competition lives in the same house. It’s your role as their parents to guide them to find their own individual talents and pursue their own path in life.

Ready Wendy’s post: College-bound sibling rivalry is more than jealousy

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Parenting for College

Category Archives: Wednesdays parent