Wednesday’s Parent: Motivating an Unmotivated Student

June 18, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer 1 Comment

I’m well acquainted with this necessary parenting technique: I had an unmotivated student. It’s not that he wasn’t capable of achieving academic success; it was just that he didn’t have the motivation or the desire to do his best. He never soared in high school, or in the first semester of college, but he did reach his academic potential, finally.

It was hard having a child who didn’t grasp his full potential, no matter how much I told him he was capable of straight A’s. It just didn’t matter to him. Passing with average grades was good enough for him. Those grades, however, contributed to some difficult life choices and some hard lessons along the way. In the end, there were four factors that finally motivated him academically:

1. Good old-fashioned competition

My son chose the Marines over attending college; partly because of his grades and partly because the regiment and rules of the military appealed to him. My daughter worked hard in high school and attended college on several scholarships. My son watched her work hard and study and attended her college graduation with us. He had always felt she was smarter than him and that’s why she excelled. But the fact that she had that degree and he didn’t, made him think long and hard about what he wanted after his 4-year stint in the Marines.

2. Economic realities

After getting out of the Marines and immediately starting college, he crashed and burned. He wasn’t ready for the rigors of studying again and he failed miserably his first semester. After that he chose to go to work; and that meant he would be taking a minimum wage job until he found something better. That something better never came and he realized that in order to compete in the workforce, he needed that college degree.

3. The desire to prove something (mostly to himself)

Often, the key to motivating teens is to prove to them it’s possible to achieve a particular goal. He had much to prove: he had to start over at a community college, make good grades so he could transfer to a 4-year college, and stay with it until he finished. This one factor is probably what kept him motivated to graduate; and not just graduate, but graduate with summa cum laude with honors.

4. The promise of a positive outcome

My son knew that a college degree would affect his ability to gain employment in a market when most applicants were college graduates. He also knew that his academic achievements would be a plus on his resume and during job interviews.

The basic point here is that motivating an unmotivated student isn’t an easy task. Unfortunately for my son, I realized too late what would motivate him. The self-motivators, like my daughter, are never a problem. It’s the ones who aren’t motivated no matter what you try. If I had only known these four factors with my son, he might have been accepted at one of the military academies. Hopefully, my lessons learned might help other parents who struggle with unmotivated students.

Read Wendy’s post: Using irony and a proverb as self motivation for your teen

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety.Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Wendy and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from parentingforcollege to pocsmom.com and vice versa.

App Tuesday, campus security

6 Safety Apps for Students

June 17, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer 3 Comments

It’s sad that we live in a time when we don’t feel safe at school. Schools used to be the safest place for kids, protected by teachers and staff and away from predators. Not anymore. As evidenced by the recent school shootings in Oregon and Washington, and the frightening Virginia Tech massacre, parents are naturally concerned about sending their kids off to college. And it’s not just college, the Newton shootings and the Columbine shootings make it clear that kids of all ages are at risk.

Today’s App Tuesday post addresses the need for safety apps. A pay phone or flagging down a police officer used to be our only defense against dangerous criminals and psychotic shooters like the gunman on the University of Texas campus years ago. But today, students are armed with a valuable weapon: their smartphone with safety apps—giving them instant access to authorities, parents and other students.

Following are six safety apps you should arm your students with during high school and college:

1. Guardly

Students can instantaneously connect with friends and family in emergencies with Guardly. With a few taps, users can dial for help or send out an alert. Triggering an alert enables real-time location tracking. Students can also capture and send photos to mobile contacts or authorities in non-threatening emergencies. On the app’s map, users can see which friends and family members are nearby. Another in-app defense lets students sound off a blaring siren to “deter would-be attackers” and “signal for help.”

Price: Free iOS, Android and Blackberry app with $1.99 monthly subscription or $19.99 one-year subscription. App comes with a few free features.

2. Circle of 6

The Circle of 6 app is designed to help college students out of potentially dangerous situations. On the app, users should connect the phone numbers of up to six close friends. These should be classmates, roommates or trusted individuals in the area. In uncomfortable situations, users can safely and discreetly send a mass message for help. By pressing the car icon, users send out a text complete with your current GPS location. Your safety network will get your message and pick you up. Tapping the phone icon will send out a message that says, “Call and pretend you need me. I need an interruption,” to the six preset numbers. For true emergencies, students can call 911 from within the app. The app’s chat icon links users to information online about healthy relationships.

Price: Free iPhone and Android app

3. MyForce

When you’re walking home at night or crossing a desolate part of campus by yourself, just pull out the MyForce app in case of emergencies. By hitting the app’s bright red button, you’ll trigger a discreet alarm. Once the alert is triggered, MyForce will start recording your call and pinpoint your present location. The monitoring operator who you connect with will determine it’s an emergency and call 911. Your emergency contacts will also be alerted.

Price: Free iPhone, Android and Blackberry smartphone app (with monthly subscription)

4. OnWatch

This personal safety app lets college students alert friends and authorities immediately in emergencies. There are six app functions: calling 911 and friends, calling 911 only, calling campus police, the “Watch my Back” setting (timed alert that must be disabled with passcode), contacting friends, and the “I’m here” setting. When you walk home and want to let friends or family know you’ve arrived safely, the “I’m here” setting does just that. The “I’m Here” text, call 911 only and call campus police functions are free with the app. The emergency friends, flashlight and alarm functions are available for a $2.99 fee. The complete package is available for $4.99 a month.

Price: Free iPhone and Android

5. Watch Over Me

Watch Over Me is a personal safety app designed to help look out for you when you need it the most. The app automatically turns your iPhone into a powerful personal safety device for daily use. If you’ve ever called a friend while feeling unsafe, this is the app for you. Whether you’re going for a run, walking to your car, walking home, taking a cab, or meeting someone for the first time, all you have to do is let Watch Over Me know and it’ll watch over you via GPS throughout your journey. If you fail to check-in safely once you’re done, Watch Over Me will alert your emergency contact list immediately and provide them with your location on a map. Subscriptions are available to enhance the app.

Price: Free iPhone and Android

6. OnCall Defender

Advanced Mobile Protection (AMP) cares about safety and prevention. The app delivers 24-hour personal security and medical assistance coverage at your finger tips. You can download the app for free and choose the subscription plan that’s best for you. The subscription is $19.99 a month. However, a special promotional offer is available to save over 40% on the year subscription if you choose to pay in advance.

Price: iPhone with subscription

mom approved tips, parenting

Mom-Approved Tips: 10 Tips to Ease Into College

June 16, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer 1 Comment

Moving from high school to college can be daunting. It’s your first step toward independence and adult responsibility. You transition from someone dictating your every move (parents) to the freedom of making every decision. Don’t expect, however, to ease right into college life without an adjustment period. College life will be much easier if you expect some bumps in the road and some course adjustments along the way.

A recent report on college dropout rates presented some shocking statistics – 46% of those who enter college fail to graduate within six years. What you do your first year of college can impact not only your college years but your future. This makes the beginning weeks and months on campus critical for all new students.

Here are 10 tips to ease into college and help with the transition:

1). Don’t skip orientation.

Orientation helps you become familiar with the campus, its opportunities and on-campus organizations. During orientation you will meet your advisors, plan your schedule and do some group activities with other incoming freshmen. Skipping orientation is like skipping the first day of work. Orientation helps you ease into life on campus.

2). Make a friend.

Your college experience will be enhanced by the friendships you make. The first few months are the easiest time to make new friends. You can start with your roommate, your dorm mates, and your classmates. College is not the place to foster your inner shyness; it’s your opportunity to branch out, meet new people and make new relationships.

3). Get organized.

Since your parents won’t be there reminding you to study for your test, do your homework and go to class, you need to get organized. Keep a calendar, set alarms, make to-do lists, schedule study time, and keep track of all your term paper deadlines. Organization will give you peace of mind and alleviate those last minute panic attacks before a test or term paper due date.

4). Make academics a priority.

Even if you were an excellent high school student, this is college. Academics will be more challenging. Without constant parent nudging, it’s tempting to let the studying slide and skip class. If you begin to struggle or feel overwhelmed, get help. Speak with your professors. Take advantage of on-campus tutoring services. Don’t ignore the problem; act before your grades start a downward spiral.

5). Call home.

Every new college student gets homesick. Make time to call your family. They know you better than anyone else and will remind you that you always have their support. Set aside a time each week to talk with your family. It will curtail the homesickness and ease your parents’ inevitable tendency to worry.

Scholarship Friday: The PSAT Scholarships

June 13, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer

In the National Merit^® Scholarship Program, three types of Merit Scholarship^® awards are offered to Finalists: National Merit $2500 Scholarships, corporate-sponsored Merit Scholarship awards, and college-sponsored Merit Scholarship awards. Special Scholarships are awarded to outstanding students who are not Finalists and meet a corporate sponsor’s criteria. In the National Achievement^® Scholarship Program, two types of scholarships are offered: National Achievement $2500 Scholarships and corporate-sponsored Achievement Scholarship awards.

Today, however, I want to focus on the merit awards a finalist can receive from the colleges. This is where the big awards appear. And it’s also why the PSAT just might be more important than the SAT.

Why put so much focus on the PSAT?

By outscoring others in your state, your student can become a National Merit Semi-Finalist. In order to do this, they don’t have to necessarily have a perfect score. They have to score as well or better than the state index. By outscoring others in your state, you can become a semi-finalist. Your goal is to beat the state index which isn’t as difficult as you might think since most students don’t study or prepare for the test. For a list of state index scores click here.

How does your student become a National Merit Finalist?

After being chosen as a semi-finalist, there is a 96% chance of becoming a finalist. The only students who do not move up to finalist rank are those who do not submit any information about themselves, do not have good grades, do not take the SAT, or fail to score well on the SAT.

What type of awards are we talking about?

When your student completes the semi-finalist paperwork they will indicate the college of their choice. Only one college can be selected, however; be thoughtful when making the selection. Colleges who have money set aside for the finalists will use merit aid to entice your student to attend: full tuition, room and board, books and fees, laptops, study abroad and even spending money. They will also offer automatic entrance into the honors college, the best housing and priority registration until graduation.

As you can see, with all this at stake, it makes sense for your student to put a great amount of focus on studying and preparing for the PSAT.

For a great explanation on the importance of the PSAT for students and how parents can help, listen to Celest Horton’s podcast on How to Pay for College HQ: Paying for College With Debt-Free Strategies.

dorm life, Guest Posts

Dorm Decor Must-Haves for Your High School Grad

June 12, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer

With high school graduation in full swing, finding the perfect dorm decor for your teen is next on the list. Take a look at these graduation gift ideas to be prepared for fall move in!

Decorative Curtains

Students are going to want privacy when sharing their small space with a new roommate. Hanging a chevron curtain to the ceiling by their bed serves as an innovative room divider and also blocks out unwanted light. Choosing curtains with a bold print will bring in a youthful pattern to the space. Be sure to purchase curtains with ties or hunt for a contrasting ribbon to hold back the curtains when they’re not in use.

Light it Up

String lights are one of the most popular decorations found in dorm rooms. Since candles are rarely allowed, string lights provide a similar ambiance to the room and create a cozy environment. You can even find lights with small lanterns attached for a bohemian, outdoorsy theme. Take a look at Target and World Market, as they have a large selection of decorative lights to choose from. World Market’s burlap star lights are a personal favorite because they’re neutral and aren’t too bright.

Make it Cozy

The next four years are going to go fast, but it’s important for your teen’s dorm room to feel like home. Bring in area rugs to add warmth to the room, layer mix-matched throw pillows for contrast, and work in monograms where you can to personalize their space. Coming up with a color scheme will also give the dorm a cohesive look.

Matching ottomans or floor poufs are an easy buy and are small enough that they can be tucked away when not in use.

Get Artsy

Don’t forget about the walls! Hanging art on those drab, white dorm walls will truly transform the room. Wall decals, such as sticker frames, Etsy prints with inspirational quotes, and decorative mirrors are creative options for your new college student. The For Like Ever poster from Super Rural doesn’t miss a beat with its bold color and typography, and fun saying. Mood boards are another way to personalize their side of the room. Buy colorful pushpins, paint a corkboard a bright color, and collect family photos and other memorabilia to collage with. During the next four years, this board will be a source of comfort and inspiration for your teen.

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This is a guest post by Erica Bryant of Roomations. Roomations is an interior design and e-decor site that connects you with professional designers for custom room concepts online. Work with up to three different interior designers to visualize your project then make it happen by taking to the streets (or your computer) with a shopping list that includes everything you’ll need. Custom interior design has never been so accessible, affordable and convenient! Start by finding your personal style with our free Style Quiz.

parenting, Uncategorized, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Oh the conversations you should have (before prom)

June 11, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer

A play on words from Dr. Seuss’ “Oh the Places You’ll Go”; oh the conversations you should have before prom. Apart from the tears, the photos, the worrying and the knowledge that your little baby is all grown up, prom should be an opportunity for you to offer some straight talk about the BIG 3: Sex, Drugs and Drinking. Why? Because at every prom there are students who cross the line and participate in some risky behavior they think demonstrates adulthood.

Sex

Is dating gone? What about courtship? According to a recent NY Times article and most high school and college students it’s a dinosaur. They have random “hook ups” with people they meet–which can include anything from making out to oral sex to intercourse. Parents need to know and understand this new culture in order to prepare their students for college. As I’ve said before, preparation is much more than academics.

Read my post: The Hooking Up Culture

Drugs

If you or your child has been in the public school system in the last 30 years you’re familiar with the phrase–just say no. From first grade on, those words have been pounded into the heads of kids giving them an answer to anyone who offers them drugs or any other form of abuse. It’s not the answer sometimes that’s important, as much as the attitude behind the response.

Research shows that kids who have a good relationship with their parents are less likely to pursue a life of abuse. The drug awareness programs give parents some guidelines they say will help. They instruct parents to do several things and lead us to believe that if we follow those rules, our kids are less likely to succumb to peer pressure.

Their suggestions have merit. But the bottom line is that most kids, no matter how strong they appear or how great their relationship is with their parents, are going to find themselves in a situation where just saying “no” is not enough. Just saying “no” will be met with teasing, pressure, and even ridicule. It’s your job as a parent to prepare them for that moment.

Read my post: When Just Say “NO” is not enough

Drinking

Your teens are graduating from high school and heading to college. There are 17 million college students that drink alcohol, and 8.5 million of them are binge drinking. We’ve heard the terms “poor” or “struggling” college student before, but it’s no wonder they are living off of Ramen Noodles when there was a reported $163 billion spent on alcohol in America in 2011. It’s not all fun and games when young people are consuming 2 gallons per person of alcohol. There are negative consequences of this behavior that includes assault, rape, injury and even death.

Take a look at these two info graphics that will underscore the importance of this conversation:

How Much Do College Students Drink

The Truth About College Binge Drinking

These are brutal conversations to have with your teen but it may be the last time you can exert some parental influence before they leave for college in the fall. A good friend of mine, Paul Hemphill, a college admissions counselor, says, “every school is a party school.” A difficult fact to face but a reality. Have the conversations now—and if you’re lucky some of it will sink in.

For more prom tips, read Wendy’s post: Surviving Your Teen’s Prom

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

App Tuesday, test prep, Uncategorized

SAT Prep to your Smartphone

June 10, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer

Say what? Yep. SAT prep to your smartphone via text message. What could possibly be easier. And here’s even better news–it’s affordable. Just $9 a month for the bronze plan and $19 a month for the silver plan. Why not reach kids where they are–on their smartphones?

What is Prepcube.com?

Prepcube.com is a learning management system that allows students to study for the SAT via SMS and our proprietary instant messenger platform. Prepcube has the ability to administer questions and video based solutions for real time feedback via sms and instant messenger. Our system allows students, parents and teachers to track all of their student’s results through our dashboard. Our data shows that students will engage our platform because they are more engaged when they interact with content via sms or instant messenger, which are their preferred mediums of communication.

How does it work?

As the system currently stands, students are pushed one question and solution via text message and have the option for mobile and web based private tutoring. After the initial question they are given the option to study unlimited amounts of questions via a web based instant messenger system. While on this web-based system they are also given the option for mobile and web based private tutoring.

Who is running the show?

All content was developed by the Co-Founder of Bell Curves, a leading standardized test preparation company. He oversees all aspects of the development of programs and materials, as well as the training of tutors. He has spent the last 18 years working as a standardized test prep trainer and materials developer at three different test prep companies.

Score! A developer who knows how to reach teens, has a background in SAT tutoring, and knows how to use the medium to help them learn.

Uncategorized

Mom-Approved Tips: Is Cheating Wrong?

June 9, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer

The answer to that question is easy: YES! But do our teens believe that and why are so many of them cheating, especially on standardized tests?

I watched a news program last night chronicling a cheating scandal. Last week I heard a story about someone who figured out an anomaly in standardized tests to get a perfect score. In each of these instances, their cheating was never discovered and they went on to go to college.

These stories made me wonder—why are our teens cheating? Is it pressure to achieve standards that are unattainable? Is the peer pressure over college so overwhelming that they will do anything to excel over their fellow students? Or is it just easy to do because there are no consequences?

A recent poll

According to a recent ABC News poll of 12-17 year olds, cheating among teens is “widespread if not endemic. And it usually works.” Here are the results from the poll:

7 in 10 say at least some kids in their school cheat on tests
6 in 10 have friends who have cheated
1 in 3 says they themselves have cheated
1 in 8 say “most” kids in their school cheat on tests
Among 12-14 year olds, 23 percent admit to cheating
Among 15 year olds, 36 percent admit to cheating
Among 16-17 year olds, 43 percent admit to cheating
8 percent believe that in order to get ahead in life you have to cheat from time to time
90 percent say cheaters will lose out in the long run
96 percent say their parents would rather have them do their own best work, regardless of the grade, than get good grades if it means cheating.
Most say cheaters don’t get caught
Nearly all teens in the survey said cheating was wrong

The survey also found that teens who hang out with cheaters are more likely to be tempted to cheat and cheat themselves.

The parent factor

Interestingly, communication on the issue is in short supply: just 1/3 of kids say they and their parents have had a serious discussion about cheating. Kids who have spoken about it with parents are no less likely to have cheated than those who haven’t. Still those who are the most likely to say they’ve cheated (16-17 year olds) are the least likely to say they have talked about the issue with their parents. Just 27 percent say they have done so, compared with 41 percent of 12-13 year olds.

Deterrents

Rather than a serious talk from parents, teens say that better teacher involvement and greater risk of getting caught could serve as deterrents. One third of the teens say they would be more likely to cheat if they knew they would never get caught, suggesting better enforcement could help curb the practice.

In a seemingly related result, almost as many teens, nearly three in 10, say they’d be more likely to cheat if they had a teacher who didn’t seem to care about their work. Teachers who develop student loyalty — as well as those who guard against cheating — also may be better-equipped to prevent it.

Grade pressure seems less a consideration. Fewer, 14 percent, say they’d be more apt to cheat if they thought other students were cheating and by being honest they’d get a lower grade. About as many, 16 percent, say they’d be more apt to cheat in a class they thought didn’t matter as far as their future.

No consequences

It’s clear from the survey that consequences play a huge role in the decision to cheat. As long as you don’t get caught, it’s ok to do it. The real problem is that cheating teens usually grow up to become cheating adults—they got away with it in school; they can get away with it as adults.

At the very least, parents should be talking to their teens about cheating. Here’s a good list of 10 reasons why cheating is wrong. I especially like #8 and #10.

Scholarship Friday, scholarships

Scholarships for All Ages

June 6, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer 3 Comments

Most parents, and students, believe that you have to wait until senior year to apply for scholarships–believing the theory that all scholarships are for seniors in high school. That theory is incorrect. There are scholarships for all ages from children, to middle school, to high school (even before senior year). The hard part, however, is finding them.

None of the online scholarship databases includes information about college scholarships that are available only to children under age 13 because of federal privacy laws. The Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act of 1998 (COPPA), 15 USC 6501, and the Children’s Privacy Protection Final Rule, require web sites to obtain “verifiable parental consent” before collecting, using or disclosing individually identifiable information from children under age 13. This effectively prevents online scholarship databases from matching students under age 13 with college scholarships. Because of the difficulties in obtaining consent, all of the scholarship databases avoid the problem by omitting scholarships for underage children from their databases and refusing to register users under age 13. That makes it difficult for parents to find scholarships in that age group.

Today’s post gives you an alternative to searching–links to many of the scholarships available; because it’s NEVER too early to start the scholarship search and application process. Summer is the best time to begin the search and start preparing your scholarship folder/notebook/file.

Bellhops: A Lifesaver for Parents on College Move-In Day

June 5, 2014 Suzanne Shaffer 2 Comments

College move-in and move-out day used to be left up to the parents and students. I’ve certainly done my fair share of lugging furniture, luggage, appliances and bedding up and down several flights of stairs. Even if there was an elevator, waiting your turn when hundreds of students are moving in is a useless cause.

Happily, two Auburn University grads saw the need and started Bellhops to solve the mass moving needs on college campuses in a short time period. They provide college kids for small-scale moving help all over the country. In fact, they are operating in 121 cities. They have over 100 student ‘Bellhops’ in each of their cities which allows you to book them on-demand. Instead of creepy day laborers or craigslist strangers, Bellhops are just great college kids that are ready to treat you like family and take care of your grunt work.

They do everything from loading and unloading to full-scale moves across town, and they are AFFORDABLE! What a great way to put your local college students to work.

Inc.com describes Bellhops’ company philosophy and how it works:

The company has grown from 2,000 to 10,000 employees in just one year by establishing an autonomous workforce. And it’s this autonomy that Bellhops cites as the source of its impeccable customer service.

Bellhops hires City Managers from major colleges and universities throughout the country and then contracts directly with recruited students, or “Bellhops,” to execute small residential moving jobs in their city. All the Bellhops have direct access to a company-wide job board and can “grab” jobs either as the Captain or Wing-man. The Captain manages and coordinates the move with the customer and gets paid a higher wage.

Bellhops are able to execute moves year-round and have complete autonomy over their schedule, who they work with, and how much money they make.

According to co-founder, Cameron Doody, “People don’t just want a job anymore; they want a fulfilling job,” he says. “Fulfillment at work comes with the freedom to make decisions and own your position. Employee empowerment breeds elevated customer service, because everyone treats their job like it’s their own company.”

If you have a college-bound student moving on campus in the fall, give these guys a try. You can book everything online in one simple process. Your legs, arms and backs will thank you!

They gave me a coupon code for 5% off: CountdownToCollege. Pass it along to friends and family–I’m sure you know plenty of parents who could use this service.

Check them out here! www.GetBellhops.com

1. Good old-fashioned competition

2. Economic realities

3. The desire to prove something (mostly to himself)

4. The promise of a positive outcome

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1. Guardly

2. Circle of 6

3. MyForce

4. OnWatch

5. Watch Over Me

6. OnCall Defender

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Why put so much focus on the PSAT?

How does your student become a National Merit Finalist?

What type of awards are we talking about?

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Decorative Curtains

Light it Up

Make it Cozy

Get Artsy

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Sex

Drugs

Drinking

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What is Prepcube.com?

How does it work?

Who is running the show?

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A recent poll

The parent factor

Deterrents

No consequences

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College Scholarships for Children

College Scholarships for Kids

20+ Smart Scholarships for Kids Under 13

College Scholarships for Middle School

Top 190 scholarships for High School Freshmen,

Scholarships for Age 13 and under

Scholarships for Elementary and Middle School Students

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Helping parents navigate the college maze