Top 10 Ways to ruin your college admissions chances

 

college admissionsIt’s not a done deal until it’s a done deal. Your teen has work to do—their college applications. It’s a tough road and one that can be finalized with offers of admission or rejection letters. It’s not a task to be taken lightly and it will require all their hard work and stamina the beginning of their senior year. If done right and taken seriously, your teen’s hopes (and yours) will be realized.

But, if they commit the following fatal errors, their hopes could be dashed and offers of admission might be a pipedream.

1. Spout off on social media
A recent article in the NY Times, a student attended an information session with a college and began tweeting negatively using their hashtag. What happened? They ultimately didn’t offer her admission; not based on the twitter posts but based on the fact her application wasn’t up to their specifications. But if it had been, she would not have been offered admission. In  recent telephone survey by Kaplan Test Prep, of 381 college admissions officers who answered a telephone questionnaire this year, 31 percent said they had visited an applicant’s Facebook or other personal social media page to learn more about them — a five-percentage-point increase from last year. More crucially for those trying to get into college, 30 percent of the admissions officers said they had discovered information online that had negatively affected an applicant’s prospects.
2. Lie on your application
This should be a no-brainer but students in this competitive admission environment are tempted to say just about anything to pump up their resume for the application. Liars never win and if a college finds out you have lied on your application they will wonder if you will be dishonest academically.
3. Neglect standardized test prep
Less than 20% of students prepare for the SAT and/or ACT. You can move ahead of the crowd with just a little preparation. Standardized test scores weigh heavy in your application and stellar ones mean admission and scholarships.

4. Be frivolous about your grades
The GPA is a definitive part of the application. Not focusing on grades during high school and hoping to bring them up before your senior year can be costly. It starts your freshman year and builds up as the years go by. Once you enter your senior year, your GPA is set in stone and very little can be done to improve it.

5. Don’t devote time to your application essay
The application essay tells colleges who you are and why they should consider you for admission. If you don’t take the time to tell them about yourself they won’t have a reason to add you to their student body. It’s the one part of the application that you can make personal.

6. Don’t take the admissions interview seriously
Show in holey jeans and a dirty t-shirt and you might as well kiss that college goodbye. This is like a job interview. The impression you make will be implanted in their minds when they receive your application. Make it your best, not your worst.

7. Sit on your couch and do nothing
Offers of admission aren’t going to land in your lap. If you think once you become a senior you can just apply somewhere and get accepted, you’re wrong. There are thousands of other students who take the process seriously.
8. Skate through senior year after you’ve applied
It’s not uncommon for colleges to reject offers of admission after they receive your final transcript. Senioritis can’t hit a college applicant. Even after the application is complete and the acceptance letter has arrived, you need to remain focused academically.

9. Use a tasteless email address
Make a bad impression by emailing an admissions officer with tasteless email addresses. You know what they are. Use firstnamelastname@gmail.com. It’s easy for them to remember and it gives the impression that you are serious about the process.

10. Ignore deadlines
Late means late. There are no second chances. Miss a deadline and miss an opportunity. If you can’t follow instructions and meet the deadlines, how can you be expected to hand in your assignments on time in college? It’s simple math.

Bottom line—don’t let your student make these mistakes. It could mean living at home after graduation working at a minimum wage job while their friends head off to college. That should produce fear in the heart of any teenager!

10 Ways to train your kids to live healthy

 

Sign up for my FREE parent tips email and get my FREE Ebook on college financing! Or subscribe to my blog on the left and get email updates.

Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from pocsmom.com to parentingforcollege and vice versa.

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healthy living10 Ways to train your kids to live healthy

With so many unhealthy choices available today, it’s difficult to steer your kids away from the types of behaviors that encourage an unhealthy lifestyle. The time before they leave home for college is the time to teach them how to live healthy and make wise choices. When they leave home and begin living independently, it will be easy for them to continue those good habits.

1. Have consistent family mealtime

Families should have at least one mealtime when they eat together. It may be difficult in today’s fast paced world, but it’s critical that you stick to this rule. You can teach them about healthy portions and healthy food choices when you are sharing a meal together. Let them participate in food preparation as well to teach them about healthy cooking habits such as limiting butter and salt.

2. Encourage them to participate in outside activities

Start at a young age to encourage them to get outside and play. Go on hikes together and play ball in the yard. Participating in outside activities teaches them to stay active and prevents them from becoming sedentary in front of the television. If they see exercise as fun it will be easier to get them outside to participate in sports and other activities.

3. Limit their technology time

Technology can rob your kids of valuable time spent being active. With all the distractions today, it’s not only difficult to keep their attention, but it’s also hard to deflect it to other things. Limiting their time gives you an opportunity to teach them that there are so many other activities that are just as fun as texting or playing games on the iPad.

4. Praise them when they make good choices

When your kids make good choices (healthy snacks, active play over sitting in front of the television, and even choosing a healthy meal at a fast food restaurant), encourage them by praising them for those choices. Kids instinctively want to please their parents; and if they are praised for doing so, they will continue.

5. Get them involved in healthy choices

Let your kids help with grocery lists and choosing healthy lunches and snacks. Encourage them to do household chores which keeps them active and let them choose an extracurricular sport to participate in after school.

6. Let them participate in meal planning

When you let your kid plan their snacks and lunches, a family meal or holiday feast, it teaches them to make healthy decisions. They also learn to make decisions and be responsible for the outcomes. You can also guide them as they choose which foods to add to the meals and how to prepare them.

7. Don’t use food as bribery

Just about every parent has done this: promise them sweets if they eat their meal. It may be effective but it’s not a good habit to teach them. Using food as a reward is one way to create food motivation, which can be detrimental if your child grows up seeing food as a special reward and was not taught how to limit this reward.

8. Let them see you live healthy

Every parent has spouted off at one time or another, “do as I say, not as I do”. But realistically kids mimic the behavior of their parents. If you lead by example by being active, eating healthy, and exploring activities outside the home, they are more likely to take on those healthy habits themselves.

9. Provide them with healthy options

Stocking your pantry and refrigerator with unhealthy food is the worst way to encourage healthy eating habits. Providing them with alternatives to technology will go a long way in teaching them the importance of exercise and fitness. If your kid lives in a positive, healthy environment they will become positive individuals.

10. Stress regular exercise

Make sure your kid’s physical education program at school is a good one. Exercise is a key component to a healthy lifestyle. If they learn it at a young age, they will continue this habit when they enter high school and head off to college.

Healthy living can be difficult, but the rewards are life changing. Later in life you and your kids will reap the benefits of your choices to live healthy.

Check out Wendy’s (POCSMom) article “10 out-of-the-gift-box ideas for a healthy lifestyle

How to take a working holiday abroad

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  • As the economic crisis continues to affect countries across the world, the option to work abroad is becoming increasingly popular amongst young people
  • Education, work and sports are the most sought after activities by temporary foreign workers

working holiday abroadAs a result of the economic crisis, one of the words that we have incorporated into our language is ‘emigration’. Tens of thousands of young people have already crossed the border in search of a better future, from neighboring countries to even as far as the Asian market.

In this case, one of things that is influencing those deciding to work abroad more and more is the Work and Travel Program (PVT in Spanish or French) or the Working Holiday Visa, which allows those under 35 to work and holiday at the same time in a foreign country for between 6 and 12 months.

Also called the Holiday-Work Visa (VVT in Spanish) or the Working Holiday Program, it is the result of mutual agreements that seek to encourage young people to travel to all parts of the world, with the possibility of finding part time work to finance their stay there. Australia, Canada and New Zealand are considered the best destinations by those embarking on such an adventure.

Working while on holiday or during the summer

There are two categories within the Holiday and Work Program. The first of these provides the opportunity for students to work during the summer months. This is designed for younger students who want to take advantage of their summer break and experience working abroad, with a maximum period of 3 months. For this option it is essential that the student is enrolled in post-secondary education or at a training centre and carries the requested travel insurance.

working abroadThe other option concerns working while holidaying, designed for travellers who want to sightsee, get to the know the culture and work at the same time. The maximum duration is 12 months. This is the option that is becoming increasingly more popular amongst Spaniards, as it offers a clear solution to the problem of unemployment that is affecting many countries, with the added attraction of possibly learning a new language.

Beatriz Valiente, in charge of customers relations at AVI International, highlights “the significant increase in the number of calls and contact we have received regarding our Working Holiday insurance for 2012, especially insurance for general covers”. Other issues of particular interest for applicants are that this visa has “the option of integrating sports and leisure  or manual work into the insurance, and that it includes the possibility to visit neighbouring countries, which it does include, but only for a maximum of two weeks.”

And what destinations do people choose? There are dozens of countries that you can travel to with a Working Holiday visa. China and Taiwan are recent additions, although they are not yet in high demand. “100% of those Spanish people insured have chosen Canada to carry out their Working Holiday”, Beatriz Valiente points out, “while the majority of French insured go to Australia, followed by New Zealand and then Canada. Very few opt to travel and work in other countries such as such as Argentina, South Korea, Japan or Singapore and the new destination: Hong Kong.”

5 pieces of advice for the Working Holiday Visa

When it comes to applying for a Working Holiday visa, often there are limitations attached to the criteria that the applicant must meet, which in many cases are restrictive:

  • It is essential to be between 18 and 35 years old, with both these ages included.
  • For some destinations it is necessary to carry with you a large sum of money as costs can escalate at the beginning of your stay.
  • One of the key requirements is that your medical insurance covers you for the entire duration of your stay. When it comes to confirming it, Beatriz Valiente adds that this criterion is “absolutely essential for the Working Holiday visa to be accepted.”
  • It is important to know what limitations exist when it comes to studying and working. In the case of New Zealand and Canada, the Working Holiday visa only allows you to study for a period of 6 months, and to work for up to 1 year. As for Australia, a certain level of accredited English is also required. Your country of origin can also play a part in what countries you can travel to.
  • Analysing the possible destinations and their economic and unemployment rates, with the aim of choosing a country that offers the best employment opportunities.

Therefore it is important to know in detail the necessary requirements and characteristics for each country, so that you can plan in advance on how to make the most of your trip and have the best experience possible. Looking ahead, it is one of the options being considered more and more: “I believe that it is a product that will work really well in the next few years; many Spaniards leaving the country in search of work, prices are economical and conditions are very good”, concludes our contact at AVI International.

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Today’s post is from AVI International, a leading provider of travel insurance for tourists and those who holiday abroad.

 

 

Mom-Approved Tips: Top 10 Tips for Parents

 

top 10 tips for parentsOn Monday’s I dispense my parent advice and today I thought I might share with you some of my past “Top 10 Tips for Parents”. Some might be reality checks, some will provide you with new information, and some are just for fun.

Top 10 Questions Parents Ask about College

https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/06/24/top-10-questions-parents-ask-about-college/

10 Must Read Books for Parents of College-bound Teens

https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2013/08/22/10-must-read-books-for-parents-of-college-bound-students/

10 scariest mistakes parents make

https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2012/10/31/10-scariest-mistakes-parents-make/

10 concepts your teen should learn BEFORE college

https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/04/10-concepts/

Top 10 things every parent should know about “hooking up” in college

https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/04/hooking-up-in-college/

10 Easy Scholarships

https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2013/09/20/scholarship-friday-10-easy-scholarships/

10 most popular college degrees

https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2013/04/04/the-10-most-popular-college-degrees/

10 Facebook pages every parent should like

https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2012/12/14/10-facebook-pages-every-parent-should-like/

10 Good reasons to file the FAFSA

https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2012/01/02/10-good-reasons-to-file-the-fafsa/

10 things high school students can do over holiday break

https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2011/12/05/10-things-high-school-students-can-do-over-holiday-break/

Top 10 dos and don’ts of parenting a college bound teen

https://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/05/20/parenting-college-bound-teens/

Saturday Giveaway: In: College Admissions and Beyond

 

in college admissionsTwo expert college admissions consultants—a mother-daughter team—share their step-by-step, proven strategy for creating an application that stands out and gets you IN!

Lillian Luterman and Jennifer Bloom have been helping high school students get into choice schools for more than twenty years. For each student, their method is based on a simple concept: “be alike but spike.” Ironically, it’s often the “well-rounded student,” an ideal many applicants strive for, who gets rejected. In! College Admissions and Beyond shows students how to create an individual distinction by identifying a passion and “layering” it—showcasing their interest in many different ways. While guiding students through every step in the application process, this book is enlivened with instructive case studies, charts and checklists, sidebars for parents, and New Yorker cartoons.

And unlike most books about “getting in,” In!’s lessons do not end at college acceptance. Luterman and Bloom present the admissions process as an opportunity for students to mature, expand their horizons, and discover what makes them tick. This book gets students in, and gives them the tools and confidence they will need for future success.

Enter my giveaway for your chance to win a copy of this helpful book on college admissions.

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Scholarships Friday: Scholarships360.org

 

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scholarships360When someone asks me about doing scholarship searches, I always tell them about Scholarships360.org. It’s not a search engine, per se, but it is an excellent resource that keeps you informed about recent available scholarships. On their site you can look at scholarships for high school, college, and graduate students. There is also a list of merit scholarships from top universities.

Scholarships360 has been connecting students to scholarship opportunities large and small since December 2010. In addition to profiling scholarship programs, they give students the tools they need to become successful applicants, offer resources aimed at demystifying the financial aid system, and examine innovative ways of funding a college education.

What do I like most about Scholarships360.org?

This resource isn’t a comprehensive search site, but it does have a wealth of scholarship information available. You may have to sift through them and determine your eligibility, but they publish a daily scholarship update in each category. I have found unusual scholarships on their site. Additionally, you can sign up for a daily email from them giving you the daily scholarship information. Just click on the mail icon in the top right hand corner of the site (or click here)–it’s that simple. Follow them on Twitter as well (@Scholarships360) for daily tweets.

If it’s not a search engine, why bother?

As with all college prep activities, maximizing your information and taking advantage of all available resources increases your chances of acceptance. The same is true for scholarships–leave no stone unturned in your search. Adding Scholarships360.org to your scholarship arsenal helps you unearth large and small scholarship opportunities by simply opening a daily email. What could be simpler than that?

 

How to be a high school entrepreneur (and wow colleges)

 

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Back in the day, in order to get accepted into a great school, all you needed to do was make excellent grades and do really well on the standardized tests. Kind of makes you chuckle doesn’t it, because you can easily imagine your own grandparents saying something like that (“Back in my day…”) before they told your parents to do what they did and get a job? Gramps wasn’t trying to be mean or unsupportive; he was just conveying the reality of his time: that going to college wasn’t a given or even a possibility for the majority of the country back then.

entrepreneurFortunately, the opportunities to receive a higher education are more available to many more people in this day and age. At the same time, that hopeful picture from yesterday of simply doing well in high school is no longer the case because colleges and universities have such a pool of superlative candidates from which to pull that they are much more selective to whom they choose to extend acceptance letters.

Maybe the old timers were on to something: in order to separate themselves from the pack of wannabe college students, your kid may need to take a lesson from the past…and show his or her vision for the future. But merely getting a job isn’t going to cut it, because lots of kids have to work through high school and have jobs on their resumes. What most of them don’t have, however, is a successful entrepreneurial endeavor and legit business experience under their belts.

Here are some creative ideas for starting an entrepreneurial business in high school that can improve your student’s impression on college admissions officers and have a profound positive impact on their lives from this point forward.

Think Green

Evolving yet another ‘oldie but goodie’ involves starting a landscaping or lawn care business. And with the rising costs of education, starting a “green” business in high school can prove extremely helpful for providing some of the green to pay for college.

Remember that businesses do not need to be large, complicated, or full of employees in order to be successful. All you need is the upper hand in supply and demand: identify a product that you can offer to the consumers at a profit.

Yards and residential lawns abound and someone has to maintain them. And since the largest aspect of yard work is the labor, as long as your kid can invest the time – without the grades suffering, that is – the majority of the income is straight profit.

And to address the grades issue, by developing a self-sustaining repeat business model, once the initial legwork of generating a clientele base is over, your entrepreneur can spend more time making sure their academics are in order.

Finally, an outdoor business involves the purchase of tools and machinery that are a one-time investment but can be reused over and over on each client’s property. And here’s a plus–they can continue the business while attending college.

Smart start ups for entrepreneurs

Some ideas for smart start-ups include products like:fence

  • Gardens: Whether they build raised bed gardens with lengths of lumber or improve an existing garden’s curb appeal with a lattice surround, the basics are the same. They’ll need a truck for hauling supplies and a creative eye to set their designs apart from other professional landscapers.
  • Fences: If they don’t necessarily have green thumbs, they can still make green by investing sweat equity in putting up fences for residential properties. Another option for “staff” that can cut down the project time exponentially is hiring their friends to help put up the fences.
  • Paint: If the inside world is more their speed, beginning entrepreneurs can still make bank by starting a painting company. And they can further narrow down their focus by deciding whether they want to specialize in residential or commercial buildings and basic surface painting or artistic detailing with painted murals.

*Tip: Develop a website to drum up business and convey to a prospective college an awareness of technology’s ever-increasing role in modern business practices.

Notes for Newbies

Make sure your kid keeps meticulous records related to:

  • Business Plan: This will speak volumes to an admissions officer in terms of your candidate’s ability to conceptualize a workable business model.
  • Financial Records: In addition to keeping money issues straight with clients, keeping detailed records with finances makes it easy to convey the financial success of your entrepreneur’s business.
  • Portfolio: A picture is worth a thousand words, and since an admissions representative can’t do site visits, being able to present them with a professional looking portfolio will give them a visual of what your kid is capable of.

What are some other creative ideas for starting an entrepreneurial business in high school?

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Today’s guest blogger, Chris Long, is a store associate at a Chicago-area Home Depot. Chris is a frequent contributor on lumber and wood topics for the Home Depot website. He also writes on fencing, garden and other outdoor project tips to homeowners.

Wednesday’s Parent: The Apathetic Generation

 

Sign up for my FREE parent tips email and get my FREE Ebook on college financing! Or subscribe to my blog on the left and get email updates.

Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from pocsmom.com to parentingforcollege and vice versa.

______________________________

citizenship

The Apathetic Generation

Prior to the first Obama presidential election, young adults simply didn’t vote. It’s perplexing to those of us that couldn’t wait to vote when we turned 18. I recall long lines at the polls for the 1972 and 1976 presidential elections.

The New Republic examined voting trends among young people prior to the 2012 election:

It has long been a puzzle why so many young adults do not vote—and why their already low voting rate has generally fallen over the decades. In 1972, 53 percent of 18-to-29-year-olds went to the polls. By 2000, the figure had fallen to just 36 percent, a historic low. (In contrast, the voting rate among people aged 65 or older rose five percentage points during those years, to 68 percent.) There is no doubt that the Obama campaign of 2008 energized the under-30 crowd, boosting their voting rate to 46 percent. But even then, fewer than half of 18-to-29-year-olds went to the polls compared with more than two-thirds of people aged 65 or older, according to the Census Bureau.

Man on the street reports from various news and entertainment programs underscore the fact that today’s youth are ill-informed and uninvolved in matters of citizenship. Why is this happening and what can parents do to change the tide?

Lack of citizenship is an American epidemic

Increasingly, we are not living up to our responsibilities as citizens.

  • Voting is one of our most important and visible responsibilities as citizens. Yet, fewer than 45% of registered voters and 35% of eligible voters usually vote.
  • Most Americans try to get out of jury duty.
  • Community service is often seen as a once or twice a year activity

Each nation faces economic, social, environmental, security, educational, legal, and health challenges. The solutions to these challenges are most effective when a great number of citizens are involved in making them. Too many good people do nothing. Edmond Burke said, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing.”

What is citizenship?

President Kennedy challenged us, “Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.” Unfortunately, since then, our view of citizenship has become skewed. We look more at our rights than our responsibilities. When individuals or special interest groups want something, they claim it is their right. And, we expect the government to take on what should be our responsibilities.

Most Americans see citizenship as voting, jury duty and occasional community service. Keeping democracy strong demands much more. We as citizens must be vigilant and involved. We must each make small sacrifices every day by doing simple, yet powerful citizen actions.

How can you teach your kids to be good citizens?

As I stated earlier, citizenship is more than voting. It’s being involved in your local community, your state and in the government processes. If you teach your children at an early age to be good citizens, they will carry those lessons on into adulthood.

Try these simple activities to teach them to be good citizens:

  • Teach them about this country’s heritage

Teach them about why and how we became a nation,about the basic principles and documents upon which the country was founded,about what it took to achieve today’s standard of living, about the mistakes we’ve made and, about the individuals and events that have played major roles in shaping the country.

Teaching our children about the country’s heritage is important because they know no other way of life. It took enormous courage, loss of life, pain, mistakes, hard work and risk to get here. Our children need to be made aware that they are going to be the custodians of this country and be taught how to do that well.

  • Teach them about the democratic process

If your children see that you’re involved in the process, you are setting a good example for them as they become adults. If you degrade the process and refuse to vote, you are teaching them that it doesn’t matter who is in charge or that you can make a difference in this democracy.

We make the “of the people” part happen by running for public office;  we make the “by the people” part happen by doing the things needed to elect our best to public office; and we make the “for the people” part happen by doing those things that keep us educated on important issues, that keep elected officials aware of our points of view, and that enforce our laws.  The democratic process is not a methodology, but a way of living that keeps our country strong.

  • Support groups that keep our country strong

Teaching your children to respect these groups that contribute to the strength of our democracy encourages them to be a good citizen. Law enforcement, firemen, elected officials, the military and even teachers are groups who are supported to keep the country strong. If you support these groups, your children will learn by your example.

  • Teach them to understand the government and how it works

This begins on the local level and goes up to the federal government. As citizens, it is critical that we understand what our governments are doing and how they are working so we can make sure they don’t take on more power and responsibilities than we gave them and that they carrying out the powers we did give them effectively.

  • Promote a sense of community

Our country is really a community of communities.  A sense of community and of belonging are something most of us need and want. In today’s mobile society, we have become detached to our communities. Neighbors rarely speak and communities rarely rally around one another unless there’s a crisis. Taking pride in your community and becoming involved in the community can be demonstrated by such simple acts as picking up trash, giving blood, start a neighborhood watch, volunteer at local organizations, and recycle.

  • Strengthen the family

It is often said, and usually true, that the whole is greater than the sum of the individual pieces.  In the case of a country, it is equally true that the stronger the families and individuals, the stronger the country.  Involve your children in activities that promote citizenship and community involvement. Encourage your family members to volunteer during the holidays, give to others, and pay it forward when possible.

Check out Wendy’s article , “Will your child be a good citizen?”

 

The GPA isn’t everything. Or is it?

 

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gpa
Photo courtesy of Zinch

GPA’s enter our teen’s world in high school. Everything they do academically affects their GPA. If they start out strong and stay consistent, that GPA could mean offers of admission from multiple colleges. Colleges look at a student’s GPA to determine their capabilities to perform well in a college academic setting. Less that stellar grades, or even average ones, could communicate a lack of commitment or even an attitude of laziness.

If their grades begin to falter, not all is lost. There are things they can do to bump up their grade point average and get back on the path to improved academics. Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? Absolutely.

Our friends at Zinch have given us some simple tricks that can save your GPA. Follow their simple steps and your student could see rapid improvement and also improve their chances of getting into the college of their dreams.

Read Zinch’s “Simple Tricks That Can Save Your GPA”

Mom-Approved Tips: You might be a micro-manager if…

 

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micro-managerOne day your child is dependent on you for everything and the next day they are managing on their own. They don’t need you to dress them, or feed them, or tuck them in at night. They don’t need you to walk them to school any more or attend their birthday parties. It’s a tough pill to swallow, especially if you are the type of parent who can’t seem to let go and let them grow up.

Before they start the college prep process, it might be a good idea to take stock of just how much you try to micro-manage their lives and make some adjustments.

You might be a micro-manager if:

You press your teen to provide detailed information about their day

Let’s face it—teens volunteer little information about how their day went. If you’re lucky you might get a “fine” or an “ok”, but not much else; and that’s ok. They don’t need to tell you everything, just the important things. Instead of prodding, just try the listening approach. Odds are you will learn much more by listening than you will by constant prodding.

You argue with their teacher about grades

It’s perfectly acceptable to have a conference with your teen’s teacher about their academic progress. But if you find yourself taking it to the next level and arguing with them or questioning the grades, you could be crossing the line. And here’s a tip—you will be embarrassing your teen. Let them fight their own battles; it prepares them for college.

You text your teen repeatedly during school hours

Some parents abuse their texting privileges. They text to find out how their teen did on a test, how their day is going, and even use it to ask probing questions about their relationships. First of all, cellphones should be turned off during class (and for most schools during the day). Secondly, this is a bad habit that might not be seen as intrusive in high school but will once they head off to college.

You search you teen’s belongings just to be nosy

Unless there is good reason to pry (you perceive a drug problem or emotional issue), it’s never good to be a snoop. They do need some privacy and if they find out you are invading that privacy they just might start feeding your obsession. If you’ve raised them well and taught them right from wrong, let their private lives stay private.

AND the 5th clue that you might be a micro-manager…

You offer advice even when it’s not necessary

Sometimes teens just need to vent. They don’t need you to solve all their problems. Unless they ask for help, keep the advice to yourself. Remember that listening is your best tool and that you always learn more by letting them talk. They learn to become problem solvers and this moves them toward independence.

If you see yourself in this list, you might want to readjust your parenting. Your main goal is to train them toward independence. It’s much easier to do this before they go away to college. Once they know you trust them to make their own decisions and live independently, they will be much more likely to thrive when they are on their own.

Helping parents navigate the college maze