admissions, college planning, college prep

Prepping for the College Application

college application

The Common App is now available for juniors to sign up and start preparing for the fall college application season. With more and more students applying Early Decision or Early Action, juniors are already making their college lists and getting ready to apply during their first semester of senior year.

Which colleges belong on your list

A good college list should have three “fit” criteria: financial fit, academic fit, and emotional fit. Once your student has a tentative list, ask if they have all three criteria before finalizing the list.

Continue reading Prepping for the College Application →
college guidance, college planning, college prep, parenting

A Summer College To-Do List for Parents of Seniors

collegeSummer is in full swing and families are enjoying the vacation time. But if you student is a college-bound senior, there are some to-dos you should think about over the summer and add them to your family fun time. The new school year will be here before you know it and senior year is a busy time for high school students. Everything you can accomplish over the summer will mean one less activity for senior year.

Discuss college finances

Your college-bound senior needs to know what you are prepared to contribute financially to their college education. This discussion will help with college choices and make it easier in the spring when you review financial aid packages. You should also discuss what you expect them to contribute to their education. Research shows that when a student is invested financially in their degree they tend to focus more on their academics.

Discuss high school academics

Every high school student is tempted to “skate” through their senior year, especially after the college applications are completed and even after they receive their college acceptance letters. Senior year is the worst time to abandon academic excellence. Colleges will be checking transcripts mid-year and after graduation. If they see that the student did not focus during senior year, colleges have been known to recant their offer of admission.

Talk about college career services

This may be the last thing your college-bound senior will be thinking about. However, it’s an important factor in the college decision process. Discuss each college’s career services with your college-bound senior. Does the college offer internships? Do they have a career center to assist you with your job search (during and upon graduation). Do the alumni actively participate in networking with the students? The answers to these questions should affect the final college choices.

Encourage your student to start working on the essay

When school starts, a senior’s schedule is usually filled up to the minute. Working on the essay in the summer will alleviate stress in the fall and allow them to focus on other important activities. You can’t write the essay, but you can help them brainstorm or be a proofreader. The Common App essay topics list should help start the process.

Help with the scholarship search

It goes without saying that your student needs to spearhead the search for scholarships. But you can help with reminders of deadlines, organizing the applications, and proofreading their final submissions.

Revisit colleges

Odds are your student has already begun to narrow down the college choices. If you’ve visited colleges previously during their junior year, the summer is a good time to make an informal visit of the campuses. Take a look around, get familiar with the services offered and talk to a few students. If the admissions and financial aid offices are open, schedule an appointment and get a jump on the busy fall onslaught of students.

Take a look at the Common App online

While most students won’t complete The Common Application until senior year, it’s a good idea to take a look around and get familiar with the components. The new Common App rollover feature allows students to use the information from one year to the next and, in theory, allows you to begin to work on the Common App as early as freshman year.

Help your student nail down the recommendation list

Make the recommendation letter list before school starts. Once your student sets foot on campus they should hightail it to the teachers and staff who they feel will write the best recommendation letters. These school officials will be bombarded with requests as application deadlines roll around. Asking early will give them more time to write a thoughtful letter without feeling rushed.

Consider hiring a tutor

Even if your student is excelling in studies, you might want to consider hiring a tutor. If they are struggling in a math or science class, tutors offer one-on-one help in a less threatening environment. Tutors can also help improve standardized test scores. They can give your student a head start in their upcoming classes and reinforce what they have learned in the past.

As your summer winds down and school begins in the fall, crossing some of these important to-dos off your massive list of college-related tasks will help you and your student reduce the stress of the college application process.

admissions, college apps, college guidance, college planning, college prep

Surviving the College Application

college applicationYou might not think the college application requires survival skills, but it does. It’s stressful and it’s no surprise the middle name of college-bound teens is “stress”. According to a recent survey, 76 percent of college-bound students say they are stressed. If you live with one, you’re stressed too; and not just you, but your family as well. Granted, there are plenty of reasons to be stressed. And plenty of reasons why it’s impossible to avoid feeling stress (try as you might). Surviving the college application requires tenacity on the parent’s part as well.

Following are 6 stressful college application tasks and how to survive them:

The Grades

Grades mean everything. Your student’s GPA is one of the most important components of the college application (if not THE most important). It’s understandable that your child will stress over receiving B’s instead of A’s on their papers. They know that the college they want to attend looks at grades, classes, and GPA’s carefully before making an offer of admission.

What can you do? Create a positive study environment and don’t add to the pressure. If you see them struggling, get help. Let them know that all you expect from them is they do their best, nothing more.

The College Visits

Any parent who has been on a college visit with their teen will attest to the emotional roller coaster that often ensues. Your child may balk at the thought of getting out of the car, cringe at the fact that his/her parents are there along with them, and freak knowing they have an interview scheduled.

What can you do? Take a chill pill before you head out and remember your child is most likely terrified. This is a huge step for them and emotions are going to play a big part in the visits, even though you might see it as a critical step in the plan. Give them the freedom to express those emotions.

The Standardized Tests

Testing in itself is stressful. But standardized tests are incredibly stressful. It’s a timed test that affects the outcome of offers of admission. Scores are compared with other students and some consider them to be bragging material. They feel a low score means less options for college; a high score opens more doors.

What can you do? Under no circumstances should you nag your student about studying. Help them study. Encourage them to study. Provide tutoring. If the pressure is off, they will do better on the tests. Too much pressure (especially from parents) with students who are stressed already, will affect their ability to focus and relax on test day.

The College Choices

Making decisions is stressful without the added pressure of the impact of this one decision on your child’s future. They may act calm, cool and collected, but they feel the pressure to make the right college choices. The schools they choose will be evaluating them on their merit and overall success academically.

What can you do? Let them make their own choices. Guide but do not put your foot down and tell them they can only attend your alma mater or a college close to home. They need to make the choice themselves because they will be attending the college for the next four years. If they don’t like it, they won’t be happy and stay when struggles come.

The Money

Money concerns always produce mounds of stress. With the economy in disarray, that stress is compounded when families are trying to pay for college. When deciding on college choices, money should always be a factor. If your student knows what you can afford to contribute and what is expected of them, the stress will be minimal. Keep them in the dark and there could be added stress and disappointment when they apply to a school that is not financially doable.

According to The Princeton Review’s 2013 “College Hopes & Worries Survey”—an annual poll of college applicants and parents of applicants—stress levels are up while cost remains a driving factor in college selection. In fact, 79 percent said the state of the economy has affected their decisions about college—up 4 percent from 2012.

What can you do? Make time to talk about money with your child. Hoping your student will get a full ride scholarship is not realistic. You need to plan for the worst (little or no aid) and hope for the best (multiple scholarships and merit aid). If the college choices fall into your family’s ability to pay, when the financial aid award arrives it will be a much more pleasant experience. Especially if lack of money to pay does not affect the final decision.

The Waiting

This is probably the most stressful time in your child’s life, which means it is stressful for the parents as well. One student put it simply:

Because as decision day draws closer, and the (rather strong) possibility of rejection becomes more and more pronounced, I can’t help but think that my process, that my life, is entirely out of my hands. I know it’s irrational — I know that I’m still the one who will make the ultimate decision, that I’m the one who will decide what my future holds. But that’s my point — I’m not rational anymore. I’m just afraid.

What can you do? Celebrate the accomplishment of applying and provide distractions during the months of waiting. Reiterate that you will be proud of them and no matter what the outcome it’s not the end of the world. Rejection is tough on these teens, but strong parent support can help them see that there are always options available and sometimes disappointments turn into blessings.

The ultimate goal is to have a stress free household and to avoid freaking out, thus surviving the application process unscathed. This might be impossible, but keeping the “freaking” to a minimum will help your student reduce their stress. Stay calm and breathe. It will all be over soon.

college planning, college prep, parenting

My 10 Tips for Soon-to-Be College Parents

 

college parentsDuring our student’s senior year of high school we live in a bubble. All sights are set on one goal—getting into college. Students and parents focus on college selection, college applications, financial aid forms, and then we wait. We wait for the offers of admission to come pouring in and then we compare financial aid packages and help them pack their bags for college.

But wait. Is it really that simple? Hardly. Most parents would say it’s anything but simple; it takes work, commitment and perseverance on both parts—parents and students.

Now that your student has graduated, the reality of the truth hits you—your son or daughter is leaving for college. Are they ready? How will they ever survive on their own? How will you survive and cope with the void that’s there when they are gone? Will they be safe? So many questions and concerns are rolling around in your head.

From one parent to another, survival depends on knowing what to expect, what to look for, and how to respond to your student. Here are 10 tips that should help you be effective college parents:

1. Give yourself time to grieve (then move on)

It probably seems like yesterday that you were bringing your baby boy or girl home from the hospital and now they are preparing to go away for college. Although you always knew that this day would come and you are so proud of their accomplishments thus far, if you are really honest with yourself, there is a part of you that is also dreading it.

For this reason, there’s a pretty good chance that you will experience some separation anxiety, not unlike grief, when your child leaves the nest–often called “empty nest” syndrome. It’s normal for most parents and so while it’s nothing to panic over (or feel embarrassed about), you should give yourself some time to grieve and then move on with your life.

2. Don’t give in to fear

Boy how things have changed since we went to school in the 70’s and 80’s. They’ve even changed since my kids went in the 90’s and 2000’s. It’s a scary world out there and you would be crazy not to be anxious when your kids leave your care every day. But don’t let them see it; they need to feel safe and secure at school. Even though we know they are at risk, we have to trust that the teachers, staff, and administration will do their utmost to assure their safety.

3. Stay in touch (in moderation)

Before your son or daughter leaves for college make plans to stay in touch. Schedule time to communicate and discuss how often you need to hear from them. Don’t by like one father who tapped into campus security cameras so he could follow his daughter’s every move. Give them some freedom to socialize, study and explore their surroundings. A text every day, a phone call every week, and face time once a month should be enough to help both of you feel connected.

4. Practice tough love

Don’t rescue them from every difficult situation. You know the term–helicopter parenting. It’s important for them to make messes, get hurt, feel disappointment, and fail at tasks.This helps them develop life skills, achieve happiness, and be successful–the things we so desperately want to give them. Isn’t that what tough love is all about? Love your children so much you set rules, provide clear expectations, and allow them to fail so they can learn.

5. Watch the money 

Money will burn a hole in your kid’s pocket. Before they leave for college have a clear understanding of what you plan to contribute toward living expenses and what you expect him to contribute. Explain the difference between wants and needs. Today’s kids are accustomed to instant gratification; but saving for something teaches them that just because they want something, it doesn’t mean they need it. When they are away at college, this will be the first question they ask themselves before pulling out an easily obtained credit card.

6. Your child is now considered an adult

You may still feel your child is still dependent on you, but the law does not. The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act means that your student will have control over his own academic record, control disclosure of who can access those records, and monitor it for errors if detected. The tuition bill comes to the student online as well as any other student expenses. Ignoring these bills can be not only costly, but affect their status as students.

7. Discuss grade expectations

Enter into an agreement with your student before they leave for school. If they want to have fun and waste time while they’re on campus, focusing on socializing rather than studying, make it clear that they can pay their own way. But if they’re willing to work hard for a degree and maintain a certain GPA, you should definitely do what you can to help them. Now, this is not to say that you shouldn’t give them a little leeway. One bad grade doesn’t necessarily mean they’re slacking – it could just be a particularly hard teacher or class. Tell them you expect to be kept abreast of their grades. Many a parent is shocked when their freshman comes home at winter break and announces they are on academic probation.

8. Beware of the transfer

If you have a high school student thinking about college, be prepared to hear these words after their first few weeks, “I don’t like it here. I want to transfer colleges”. As your heart sinks and a hundred things go through your head, remember that I told you it would happen; and if you read a recent article I wrote, it might help you handle those words without your heart and brain exploding into a million pieces.

In most cases, you should stand your ground—at least until the end of the first year. Tell your student that if he/she still feels the same way at the end of the year you can revisit the option. It’s my experience that most students, later in life, thank their parents for giving them some tough love and not allowing them to transfer.

9. Learn how to listen (and not lecture)

It goes without saying that every parent will receive a homesick phone call at some point during the first semester of college. You must learn to listen and avoid the desire to “fix” things. Most of the time they just need to vent and once they talk things out and hear your voice, they feel better. Resist the urge to drive to college and rescue them—just listen and offer compassion.

10. Acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean graduation

Did you know that graduation rates differ wildly from school to school? About 400,000 students drop out of college each year. Students who start college but don’t finish are typically no better off than those who never even started, and in some cases might be worse off, if they took on debt. Help your student stay focused on the goal by providing words of encouragement and some of that tough love I mentioned earlier.

SaveSave

SaveSave

dorm life, Sponsored posts

Preparing for College Move-In Day (with a little help from OCM)

 

college move-in day

It’s already July and that means just a few short months left until college move-in day. Parents and students are crossing off tasks on their to-do lists as the summer progresses. At the top of the list is deciding what to take to college. My daughter, needless to say, overpacked. In her anticipation of moving so far away from home (over 2000 miles), she packed up her entire room to take with her. Once we arrived, we quickly discovered that her dorm was not equipped to house every pair of shoes, all her clothes, all her stuffed animals, every single picture frame and multiple snow globes.

It’s tempting to overpack for college. It’s also tempting to buy everything you see when shopping for dorm supplies. Check with your college for a list of dorm items you can and cannot bring. Most colleges (see Texas A&M) have this list posted on their website. But remember—just because you CAN bring something it doesn’t mean you will need it. College dorms are small and the philosophy of “less is more” will help you avoid overpacking.

Dorm essentials

One of the life lessons your new college student should learn is the difference between wants and needs. You can start by teaching them to narrow down their dorm essentials. It can easily become a massive list if you purchase every item on any dorm list. They may want everything on the list, but they don’t necessarily need everything.

Here’s a short list of items they will definitely need:

  • Bedding—You can’t just bring sheets from home. Dorm bed sizes are different. These are items you will have to purchase.
  • Clothing—Don’t bring every coat in your closet or every t-shirt in your drawer. Space is at a minimum.
  • Bathroom supplies—Sharing showers and bathrooms means you don’t want to forget your flip flops and a plastic caddy to carry your essentials back and forth from dorm to shower.
  • Electronics—Laptops and headphones are essential. Laptops can double for streaming entertainment. Don’t forget the power strips!

Simplifying the process

When my daughter attended college, we scrambled to find information regarding dorm essentials and packing tips. Today, there are so many options available: shipping directly to a dorm, packaged items in bulk to save, and much more. Parents can now easily prepare for move-in day by taking advantage of some of these options.

One such option is OCM’s Complete Campus Pack. By purchasing this all-in-one pack, you can save over $100 if you were to purchase these items separately. Here’s what you get:

  • 2 extra-long flat sheets
  • 2 extra-long fitted sheets
  • 2 standard pillowcases
  • 2 extra-fluffy machine washable pillows
  • 1 extra-long reversible comforter
  • 1 extra-long quilted mattress pad
  • 1 extra-long egg crate pad
  • 1 extra-long microplush blanket
  • 2 all-cotton bath towels
  • 2 matching cotton hand towels
  • 2 matching cotton wash cloths
  • 2 oversized bath sheets
  • 1 laundry bag
  • 2 underbed storage solutions
  • 1 bedside storage caddy

 college move-in dayLearn more about the OCM Complete Campus Pak

 

As you prepare for college move-in day and start checking off items on your college packing list, make sure to consider OCM. They offer families convenience, products that are university-approved and a great value. Also, a percentage of your purchase goes directly back to support your student’s school.

Want to win one of these Complete Campus Packs? Head over to my Facebook page and leave me a comment. At the end of the week (July 6) I will choose a winner! Good luck!

____________________________________________________________________________________________

For nearly 40 years, OCM has been the approved, official partner and endorsed sponsor for more than 900 college campuses and 1,500 campus organizations across the U.S. serving as a one-stop shop for affordable, college-approved dorm room supplies, care packages, and other college essentials. Students and parents can visit the new website at ocm.com to shop over 10,000 college-approved products, such as twin XL dorm bedding sets guaranteed to fit any dorm bed, dorm decor, bath sets, graduation frames, care packages, and more. Additionally, every OCM purchase sends dollars back to the student’s school for campus programming, and donations to more than a dozen local and non-profit organizations. To date, OCM has helped more than 6 million students and families and have sent $23M back to schools.

This is a sponsored post.

 

admissions, parenting

20 Affordable Small Colleges

 

affordable small colleges

“Why is college so expensive and how on earth are we going to pay for it?” I bet you’ve said that more than once if you have a college-bound teenager. Most parents struggle, even if they have saved, to juggle their finances to accommodate an expensive college education. Some families resort to taking out parent and student loans to pay for college. But is there a better way?

One way to avoid paying too much for college is to choose an affordable college. Staying within your budget isn’t that difficult. There are thousands of colleges and universities in this country that offer an affordable education. Parents should be bargain hunters and search for those college bargains.

Student Loan Hero has done some research that can help. If your student is open to “searching outside the box” and finding a college that will allow him to graduate debt free, these 20 affordable small colleges should be added to his list of possibilities. According to their research, “The 20 most affordable small colleges have tuition and fees that are all $7,000 or less. This means the most affordable colleges offer savings of $20,750 in tuition and fees compared to average small colleges. Three of the top colleges even have tuition-free initiatives that effectively put these costs at $0.”

  1.  College of the Ozarks in Missouri
  2.  Berea College in Kentucky
  3.  Alice Lloyd College in Kentucky
  4.  York College in New York
  5.  Dixie State University in Utah
  6.  New Mexico Highlands University
  7.  New College of Florida
  8.  Southern Utah University
  9.  College of Coastal Georgia
  10.  Cameron University in Oklahoma
  11.  Rogers State University in Oklahoma
  12.  East Central University in Oklahoma
  13.  Emporia State University in Kansas
  14.  The University of Texas of the Permian Basin
  15.  Southeastern Oklahoma State University
  16.  Dickinson State University of North Dakota
  17.  University of Science and Arts of Oklahoma
  18.  Southwestern Oklahoma State University
  19.  University of North Carolina at Pembroke
  20.  Northeastern State University in Oklahoma

Keep in mind, of course, that many of these colleges are state schools and the fees for in-state students are less than those for out-of-state. However, many states have reciprocal agreements with other states that allow out-of-state students to receive in-state tuition rates. Check with each college regarding these agreements.

For information on each college, check out CollegeData.com. For more details on the cost of each college and information about their financial aid you can go to Student Loan Hero:  Survey: See the 20 Most Affordable Small Colleges in the US. 

college prep

Use the Summer to Prepare for College

summer

Summer is here and it’s a good time for parents of college-bound students to make the most of the free time. Your student will certainly be busy, especially if this is the summer before senior year.

But there are a few things you should make sure to complete during the summer that will help your student progress along the college admissions path. It’s never too early to start preparing your student for college.

Start preparing your student for independence.

Use the summer to teach some basic life skills. It’s never too early to start preparing for independence. College is the first step toward adult independence. Students will have to make their own decisions, be responsible for their own actions and deal with the consequences of their choices. Some basic life skills can make the transition to adulthood easier.

  • Laundry: If your student isn’t doing the own laundry, the summer is a good time to start. You would be surprised how many college students don’t have a clue on how to do their own laundry.

  • Budget basics: Handling money is a life skill that every college student needs to know. Open a student checking account for summer job paychecks and teach how to handle it. Students can monitor the balance on an app and learn to save and budget for any spending.

  • Public transportation: Many colleges don’t allow freshmen to have a car on campus so it’s imperative to be able to navigate public buses, subways, trains or ride-share services.

  • Basic cooking skills: Fast food can be expensive and it’s easy to save money on food while in college with some basic skills. Even many dorms have kitchens.

Once you’ve started preparing your student for independence, you can move on to some other important projects. Read about them here in an article I wrote for TeenLife Magazine: How to Use the Summer to Prepare for College.

Uncategorized

Why Parents Should Attend Orientation

orientation

If you have a soon-to-be college freshman in the fall, this summer is going to be a very busy time for you. Apart from trying to squeeze in every moment for memories, hugs and quality time, you will be making preparations for the move to college in the fall.

One of the most important planning events for you and your student’s success and transition, is new student orientation.

New student orientation is one event at college neither you nor your student should miss.

Parents learn valuable information at college orientation and students make much-needed connections with other students. Orientation will help your student ease into college life and help you cope as they make the move from home to independent living.

It is an exciting time for the entire family when a child goes off to college. It’s not only a transition from one phase of education to the next, but the beginning of your child’s first years away from home. This also means, in many cases, the parents’ first years with a child away or even an empty nest. Although many parents breathe a sigh of relief that the long journey to getting accepted to college is finally over, many need a little guidance on how to deal with this important next step.

New student orientation can provide some of that guidance, as well as help you understand what college life will be like for your student and what life away from home will look like.

Read all about new student orientation, what to know about parent orientation, and what to do if the college doesn’t offer a separate orientation for students from an article I wrote for TeenLife Magazine.

empty nest, graduation

From Acceptance to Graduation and Beyond

 

graduation

The acceptance letters have arrived and your student has made his final college decision. Check the box–going to college! It’s a tremendous accomplishment for both students and their parents. It’s not just your student who is graduating–you are too! You planned for years for your student to go to college and now he has been accepted. After years of planning it’s time to start a new chapter in your life as well.

First things first–do some celebrating. You’ve earned it. It was a difficult task to raise a successful high school graduate and soon-to-be college student. Allow yourself some time to bask in the accomplishment. This is also time to flood him with showers of praise and words of encouragement. He’s worked hard for this and he needs to hear that you are proud of him.

Once the celebration dust settles, to help you head into the next phase, we have some suggestions to assist with the transition.

Graduation Anxiety

Even though it’s a time of celebration, it is also a time of great anxiety; not only for the students who are anxious about their future, but for the parents as well. Students worry about being successful academically, moving away from the safety of home, and the difficult task of making new friends. Parents are riddled with questions and concerns, as any loving parent will be:

  • Have you done your job to prepare him for adulthood?
  • How will you occupy your time when he is away at college?
  • How will he survive without you?
  • How involved do you need to be when he’s in college?
  • How will you ever let go?

These questions and many more are going to be circling your mind over the next few months. However, it’s time for him to put into use the lessons you have taught him over the last 18 years–even if it means he will fail. Standing on the sidelines is difficult, but wipe away the tears and the fears and look ahead to an exciting era for both of you.

Bonding

Spend the next few months bonding with your college-bound teen: bonding, not smothering. Don’t expect him to want to be with you 24-7. He has friends he wants to spend time with as well, knowing he will be leaving them in the fall. Of course you want to spend time with him. After all, he’s leaving in a few months and you will miss him. But don’t cross the line and expect him to want what you want.

If you can’t camp out in his room or sit on the couch hugging him for hours, what can you do to facilitate the bonding? These suggestions might help:

  • Schedule a date night and do something fun together. Go to dinner and a movie. Play miniature golf. Attend a concert.
  • Take a family vacation together.
  • Go shopping for college and/or dorm supplies.
  • Visit the campus of the college he will be attending and take some side trips along the way.

Be creative and think of other ways you can forge time with him. It can even be something as simple as watching a television show with him or cooking together. Whatever you do, take advantage of every opportunity to bond. It will not only help you when he’s at college, it will provide him with memories to hold on to when (not if) he gets homesick at college.

Conversations

Before he leaves for college, you should have several conversations. Avoid lecturing; but discuss some issues he will be faced with at college. You may have discussed these before, but it’s time to reinforce them again:

  • Academics

Even though he’s an adult now (or so he thinks) you need to help him understand that you have certain expectations regarding academics. It’s going to require a commitment on his part to attend class, study, and turn in assignments when they are due. Discuss options for tutoring on campus and what to do if he begins to struggle.

  • Money

Budgeting in college for someone who has depended on parents for everything they need can be difficult. Sit down and help him make a budget and discuss what you will be providing as far as expenses and what you expect him to contribute. This will help minimize the phone calls panicking because he’s out of money.

  • Social activity

College provides multiple opportunities to socialize–some of it is good, some not so good. Talk about the drinking, drug and hooking up culture on campus which go hand-in-hand with college life. Discussing it ahead of time will help prepare him when he’s faced with decisions and also come up with a plan to have fun without harming himself or others.

  • Consequences

Make sure he understands the concept of consequences–to his actions, his choices, and his inaction. Remind him to think before he acts because most college decisions affect what happens in the future. For instance, a decision to skip class could result in a poor grade. Or a decision to drink and drive could not only put his life at risk, but if caught, a DUI could affect his ability to secure a job after graduation.

Packing

It’s a natural instinct for teens to want to take everything to college with them. Resist that urge. Dorm rooms are small. He will be sharing a space with another student who has brought things from home as well. As a general rule of thumb, here’s a short list of “do take and don’t take” items:

Do take

  • Hygiene items (including flip flops for shower)
  • Ear plugs (help with concentration and sleeping)
  • Tech items (plugs, power strips, laptop, desktop, usb drives, portable hard drive)
  • Maintenance items (duct tape, hammer, screwdriver, etc.)
  • Office supplies (stapler, paper, pens and pencils)
  • Storage containers (underbed storage works best)
  • Bedding (sheets, blanket, pillows and bed risers)
  • Headphones

Don’t take

  • Huge stereo and speakers
  • Every book and DVD you own
  • Candles
  • High school memorabilia
  • An overabundance of personal items-i.e your entire stuffed animal collection

Talk with the roommate about what he is bringing and try not to duplicate. Decide who is bringing the television, the microwave and the mini-fridge–staples in any dorm room. As your and your teen are making a list of items, remember that less is more in a college dorm room.

Orientation

Most colleges have instituted parent orientation to go along with the traditional student orientation. Parent orientation can provide parents with information about student life, guidance about dealing with college-related issues, and help dealing with separation anxiety. Additionally, you will be able to participate in workshops, take a campus tour and listen to speeches about common parent issues conducted by faculty and staff.

The BostonGlobe reports that most parents found the events to be more than worthwhile:

Colleges around the country are holding orientations for families of incoming freshmen. But these are not simple “Meet the Dean” receptions held the day before school starts. These are elaborate two- and three-day events, often held on midsummer weekdays. “What I’ve heard across the country from parents is that these events are marked on their calendar with a big red heart,” said Natalie Caine, who counsels parents through her business, Empty Nest Support Services in Los Angeles.They say, ‘I need to go. I need to see what it’s like. I want to hear what they have to offer, what the security system is like, who’s the contact person if there’s a problem.’

Use the next few months to prepare yourself and your teen for the upcoming college move-in day. If you’re well-prepared, it will be easier for both you and your student. In the meantime, enjoy your summer and use every opportunity to make some memories!

orientation, parenting

Parent Orientation Dos and Don’ts

 

parent orientation

In recent years, more and more colleges and universities have offered orientation events specifically geared toward parents during the days or weeks before school starts. Attending such events may require taking time off from work, traveling and even paying for admission. With events ranging from “Meet the Dean” to model classes and seminars on “Letting Go,” parent orientations offer an in-depth understanding of today’s college experience that can’t be had from a distance.

Lori Domingo, whose student was heading to a military college, said, “If you have the chance to attend such an orientation, I would highly recommend doing so.”

Recognizing the importance of this transition time, here’s a list of dos for parent orientation:

Do attend

This may seem obvious but many parents feel it’s unnecessary or too costly to attend parent orientation. Thus far, the response to these programs has been overwhelmingly positive. Parent testimonials on the University of Colorado Boulder website called the orientation “informative,” “helpful,” and “phenomenal.” Parents who have attended these sessions comment they alleviated unnecessary stress while also giving them confidence that their children are in good hands.

Do ask questions

Parent orientation provides a wealth of information for parents, but you can get even more out of it if you prepare questions to ask the campus staff that you meet while there. Asking the right questions will help you gather information and ease your mind during the transition.

Here are are 5 questions I suggest you ask:

  • What types of services does the health center provide?—You need to find out if your health insurance is accepted by them and what the process is for co-payments, filing a claim, etc.
  • What type of emergency action is taken in the event of a school shooting or other dangerous action?—Most colleges have steps in place to contact students and parents when an emergency arises.
  • What is the parental notification policy?—Ask how the college notifies you if your student is caught drinking or committing other serious offenses.
  • Do you have a parent association?—If so, how many parents participate? Are they active on campus? What specifically does the group do?
  • Who is the point of contact for parents?—Ask if there is a parent relations office and who do you call if you have questions or concerns.

Do stick to the school’s plan

There will be programming especially designed for parents that takes place while your student is attending their own orientation. There are things you will need to learn and tons of information to absorb. Use the time wisely, pay attention and stay focused.

Do take notes

You are going to be bombarded with mounds of information. Take notes during each of the sessions, especially related to information you want to discuss with your soon-to-be college student.

Do learn about college resources for parents

As mentioned above, ask questions while you are attending orientation. Specifically, what resources are available for parents and what specific events are provided to keep parents involved, i.e. Parents Weekend. Learn especially when and how you can communicate with the college if you have concerns about your student.

Here’s a list of don’ts for parent orientation:

Don’t supervise your child’s experience

The worst thing you can do is agonize and worry about your student’s orientation experience. It causes you to lose focus and robs you of having your own. If the college feels it’s important for your student to be on their own, respect that and keep your distance.

Don’t embarrass your student

When my daughter went to college orientation, I saw parents insisting on attending the student orientation with them. They complained that their student could not be trusted to come back with a report or remember what they were told. This is no way to start your student’s college experience.

Don’t waste the staff’s time

During the Q&A sessions listen to other parents’ questions and don’t ask them if they are answered. If you have a question that hasn’t been asked, this is the time to speak up. Otherwise, take notes and listen to the questions and the responses.

Don’t sit in the corner and be silent

This is your opportunity to get to know other parents, communicate with staff and faculty, and make some new friends. It’s a given that you will need parental support during the next four years. What better opportunity to make connections, exchange emails and phone numbers, and compare notes than at parent orientation?

Don’t fret and stress

Parent orientation is a college’s way of helping parents make the transition from high school parent to college parent. Their main focus is on helping parents let go, informing parents about resources available, and giving the parents a forum to ask questions. Enjoy the sessions and make the most of every opportunity to make positive connections. If you have a genuine concern, like student safety, for instance, you can ask questions to ease your mind.

Colleges recognize that parents are more involved in their student’s lives than ever before. One college, Brandeis University, has changed its stance from telling parents to detach to encouraging they stay involved. Andrew Flagel, senior vice president for students and enrollment at the college explains:

“The concept of keeping parents at arm’s length can become very unproductive,” Flagel said. “In an age of digital technology and social media, that process of parents and students communicating back and forth is very positive.”

“Parents feel like they are a part of what’s going on at campus. That’s not helicoptering, that’s just being proud of what their child is doing,” he added. “My advice is to keep being the kind of parent you most want to be.”

Priscilla Childress in University Parent’s Guide to Supporting your Student’s Freshman Year, encourages parents to attend:

I’m a strong advocate for attending parent orientation. At each of my daughter’s orientations I learned things I didn’t know, made new friends, and most importantly came away with a sense of calm. I wasn’t as anxious as I had been because I saw the school (rather than just touring it), met the key players, and discovered that the faculty, staff, and administration wanted to see my daughters succeed as much as I did.

Parent orientation should be on your to-do list this summer. It’s probably the most important task to complete before your student leaves for college in the fall. See it as an opportunity to help you relax, gather information, and see what your student will be doing in the fall.

Helping parents navigate the college maze