I will never forget how it felt when my daughter announced, “I don’t think I will go away to college.” My stomach went into knots. My heart broke. My mouth dropped. Panic arose within every fiber of my being; but I didn’t speak. My mind was going in a hundred different directions; but I remained calm. Thinking back, I have no idea why I didn’t immediately start freaking out.
What would make an academically motivated, hard-working senior with a dream of attending college in Boston change her mind? A boy. What else? During the second half of her senior year she met a boy. He was kind, sweet, loving, and very romantic. He plied her with flowers, daily love notes, and phone calls declaring his love. He also began begging her to stay. It started simply with an “I will miss you” and transitioned to talk of marriage.
How could I possibly compete with the “M” word? How would I convince my daughter that college was more important than a boyfriend? How could I explain to her that he was probably the first of many and there was a big world out there waiting for her to explore?
The first step to convince her that college was the best choice, was to start a conversation. The first thing I did was ask her, “Why, after all this time, and all your hard work, would you change your mind?” At first, she gave me a multitude of excuses, from being afraid to move so far from home to missing me to having to leaver her friends. But eventually, she admitted it was her boyfriend.
Instead of bad-mouthing him and telling her he should not be pressuring her, I turned the conversation toward these three topics: the reason you wanted to go away to college, the realities of losing all your financial aid, and the importance of choosing your own path in life. After a few days of tears and logical evaluation, my arguments prevailed. She agreed to stick with the plan and go away to college.
It is important to note that I did not lose my cool. I didn’t argue. I didn’t yell. I didn’t make her feel her opinion was silly or stupid or illogical. She was now an adult and would have to make her own decisions. I simply guided her toward the right choice.
Getting her to college was one thing. I thought that once she made the decision, she would move on. But the first day of freshman week, she announced that she would give it a try and transfer if it didn’t work. Translated: if the long distance relationship doesn’t work, I will move back home and go to college there.
But I knew something she didn’t know. College offered her so much more than being stuck in a long-distance relationship with a boy who was still in high school. It wasn’t two weeks before she met someone else and decided that college was a good place after all. By the time spring break rolled around, her boyfriend was ancient history and college and its experiences became the focus of her life.
It’s crunch time. May 1, the deadline to make your final college choice, is upon us. For many families, they have multiple colleges to choose from. Offers of admission, along with financial aid packages, have been rolling in. Now comes the hard part: will it be 1st, 2nd, 3rd or even 4th or 5th choice when choosing a college? Will your son or daughter choose their dream college, or will they choose a college offering better aid that was further down the list.
As you’re making the decision, remember these points:
It’s not all about the money.
I know. I’ve been preaching about aid awards, comparing awards, and choosing the best financial fit. But it’s not always about the money. If you read my post about my daughter, (My Daughter Turned Down a Full-Ride Scholarship) you will see that although the money was there, the fit was not. Ultimately the decision came down to her feelings–coupled with a logical financial plan.
The final decision has to be your child’s.
You won’t be attending college. She will. If you force a choice, the outcome will not be pretty. You will soon be getting a phone call, “I just don’t like it here”. No amount of coaxing, tough love, or putting your foot down can overshadow a college choice that you made for your daughter.
Any choice is a good choice.
If the colleges are on the list they are good choices. It’s a matter of finding that right mix of “love” and financial backing to cement the final decision.
The choices we make shape our lives.
Choices shape our lives–even the bad ones. I read an excellent article today that talked about “bashert”. The title caught my eye (How ‘Bashert’ Can Help You Survive a College Rejection) and I had to find out what bashart meant. “Bashert is a Yiddish word. The definition is “destined, fated, meant to be.” It’s the Yiddish equivalent of “que sera, sera” or what will be, will be, or destiny or fate.”
I fully concur with this philosophy. While you’re choosing a college, remember that every path takes your student down a different road of life; and, according to Robert Frost, the “road less traveled” makes all the difference. The choice may not be what you imagined but your son or daughter has to forge their own path in life.
Just about every teen these days makes videos using their smartphone or other device. Why not put that everyday activity to good use and apply to these short video scholarships?
These short video scholarships with April deadlines are just the ticket for future filmmakers and YouTube stars.
What type of videos does the student have to submit? There are varying topics like disarmament, distracted driving, and public service announcements. One of the video scholarships ask your student to make a video about something that inspires them.
There truly are scholarships for every interest and you don’t have to have a stellar GPA to apply for these. The awards range from $5000 to $500. That’s a decent amount of pocket change for creating a short video!
Instead of spending the weekend texting friends, encourage your student to involve them in his video scholarships creations. It could be tons of fun and in the end, could add some serious money to your student’s college fund.
This week, I will be sharing some personal stories and experiences of my own children’s path to college. I hope they help enlighten you and encourage you to help your college-bound teen.
During his senior year of high school, my son applied to three schools: the Air Force Academy, West Point, and the Citadel. He knew he didn’t have the grades to get into these competitive colleges, but they were his dream schools. He didn’t apply anywhere else and when he was not offered admission, he decided to give up on college. He was defeated and felt he couldn’t possibly succeed. He also felt college was out of the question without scholarships and he did not bother to apply for any. Because of this, my son’s path to college graduation took nine years after high school.
Unfortunately, I was an uninformed parent. I did not know at the time there were many other options for him. He could have attended community college for a nominal cost. He could have applied rolling admission to colleges that were within our ability to pay. He could have chosen a military college and accepted an officer’s commission after graduation. But because he felt he had few options, he opted for the military, with the promise of attending college while serving.
Since he chose the Marines, he had little time to attend college. After serving his four years, he was honorably discharged and the day after leaving the Marine Corps, he began attending a state college on the G.I Bill. Unfortunately, he made a poor college choice. Based on his Marine buddies recommendations, he chose a “party” school. To make matters worse, the college was a commuter college—students went home on the weekends.
After one semester, he withdrew with an absolutely disappointing 1.0 GPA. It was not that he was a poor student. He just wasn’t ready. After being told what to do for four years, he wasn’t disciplined enough to attend class, study, and participate in discussions. His plan—come home and find a full-time job. We agreed to give him six months.
After working at a minimum wage job for one year and living in a small studio apartment, it became clear to him that he needed a college education. Since his GPA would not allow him to re-enter college, he decided to attend community college, retake the same courses, bring up his GPA and transfer to a four-year college after he had met the basic requirements. Better yet, his G.I Bill and Pell Grant would cover all his tuition, making it possible to attend for two years without incurring any student loan debt.
After two years of community college, he transferred to a private college with a 4.0 GPA. Because of his excellent academic standing, he was able to secure scholarships for this college as well. After two more years, and nine years after high school, he graduated Magna Cum Laude with numerous academic merit awards. It was clear that he was capable of so much more than he thought he was in high school.
What made the difference? He was ready. After working for a year making minimum wage, he realized the importance of a college education. He made a plan and kept his eye on the prize. As he did in the Marines, he excelled in the execution of that plan and reaped the rewards of his academic commitment.
Is your teen a good student and is struggling with a college decision? Don’t be discouraged. He or she may not be ready. A gap year might be in order. Working at a trade or internship could help motivate them. For my son, the military was the best option. Whatever your teenager decides, the path he or she takes should be the path that best fits them. Forcing a student to attend college if he’s not ready will only lead to disaster: financial and personal failure.
If you think your unmotivated student has few education options after high school, think again. Community college is always an option, offering an opportunity to ease into college life. Trade schools offer a hands-on education and for some students, the best choice. There are colleges who accept applications year round, and even colleges that have a 100% acceptance rate. Just because your student does mediocre in high school, don’t assume college will be an academic repeat. If college is truly his goal, he will make it work; and he just might surprise you.
During this financial aid award season, several years ago, my daughter had to make a difficult decision: which college would receive her acceptance of an offer of admission. Of the many colleges she applied to, they included private colleges, state universities, and trade colleges. Some offered her financial aid, others did not. It was a heart-wrenching decision for her: choose the college that offered the best financial aid package with a full-ride scholarship, choose her dream collegethat gapped her offering no financial aid, or choose the college that was her perfect fit.
For me, it was a no-brainer. One college offered her a full-ride scholarship, along with the major she wanted to pursue. It was in the city she wanted to live in. All the boxes were checked off. There was one problem, however. Since the college was over 2000 miles away from her home, she applied without ever visiting the campus.
Still stuck on her dream college, we scheduled college visits to the other colleges on her list. Here’s where the emotional issue of choosing a college entered into the mix. For teens, the college choice is always more emotional than practical. For parents, this factor makes it even more difficult for you to guide your student in the best decision.
After visiting three colleges in the same city, one her dream college, she was faced with a difficult choice. If it were up to her, she would have chosen her dream college. Knowing this decision would put her into debt, I was able to convince her to look at the other schools.
One of the other colleges offered her a full-ride scholarship; but when we drove onto the campus she immediately balked. Her reaction was so severe that she wouldn’t even get out of the car. My reaction—total anger and frustration. But I knew that I would regret forcing her to consider this college when she was so adamantly against it. So we drove away and moved on to the next college; knowing full well this meant she was turning her back on a full-ride scholarship.
The next college was a slam dunk. She loved the campus. She loved the tour and the students she met. She loved the location, its surroundings, and the total college experience it offered her. It was a small campus and since she would be so far away from home, it would be easier for her to assimilate in this type of environment. Since it was a liberal arts college, she could minor in English—something she had always wanted to do. The next best part, their financial aid package was doable. With her scholarships, grants and work study, she would only have to take out minimal student loans.
Seeing her turn down a full-ride scholarships was a tough pill to swallow. As her parent, I was completely focused on the financial aspect of the decision. But once I saw how excited she was about the other college and saw the smiles on her face, I knew this was the right decision.
Letting her make an emotional college choice (coupled with some financial sense) was the right decision. She flourished at that college. She met lifelong friends. She was able to get a well-rounded education and graduate with a degree that was employable. She still thanks me every day for letting her make that emotional choice and for also standing firm on the impracticality of her dream college.
Choosing a college is a highly emotional decision for your student. Your job as a parent is to guide them into a practical choice while taking into account that you want a happy student going off to college. Although financing should be a key part of the decision, it’s not always about the money.
Every day, I come across information that is helpful for parents and students. Recently, a representative of Wheaton College contacted me about a summer program for high school students and asked if I wouldn’t mind spreading the word about it. My answer: absolutely!
Over the course of the four weeks, students will work with Wheaton professors (and its President!) in one of four courses: “Lunar Exploration,” “Innovation and Social Change,” “Medicine, Bodies, and Power,” or “The History of Popular Music.”
Borrowing from Wheaton’s website about the program, here is an explanation of how it works:
What is Discover@Wheaton?
Discover@Wheaton Summer College is a credit-earning, pre-college experience designed to give rising junior and senior high school students a taste of a competitive private liberal arts college experience. During this four-week intensive program, students will sample college academic life by taking a college level course, as well as student life by participating in campus activities and trips both on and off Wheaton’s beautiful New England campus.
What makes it different?
Wheaton College is an institution known for its close-knit community, small class sizes, and personal approach. Discover@Wheaton follows this model and more, with classes that are only taught by Wheaton’s finest professors, not teaching assistants or graduate students. Thus, students will interact and build relationships with top-notch professors who are experts in their fields of study. Furthermore, this year’s “Innovation and Social Change” course will be taught by none other than Wheaton College President Dennis Hanno!
What do I gain? Transferrable credit
Not only will students earn a college credit (four semester hours) from Wheaton, but they will also get a chance to present and showcase their work with our final showcase event for parents, participants, and the Discover@Wheaton Faculty and Staff!
Connections
The time students spend at Discover@Wheaton will open them up to a world of opportunities! Not only will they connect with other incredible students from around the globe, they’ll also work with world renowned professors in a personal and lasting form. Plus, field trips within each course will connect them to individuals and institutions that are doing dynamic work in each of the four fields.
Additionally, Discover@Wheaton is lucky enough to be able to collaborate on many events with the U.S. College Advantage Program, a summer experience that brings international high school students to the Wheaton College campus for English language emersion.
A Chance to Discover
Mirroring the Wheaton Curriculum, Discover@Wheaton provides a nurturing, yet challenging environment for students to discover their passions, hidden strengths, and amazing opportunities that their futures hold through a dynamic mix of classroom work andinspiring experiences.
The application deadline is April 18th. To be eligible for a special 30% discounted rate, interested students should reach out to the Coordinator for College High School Academic Programs, Jocelyn Saltzman, at saltzman_jocelyn@wheatoncollege.edu.
Part of my goal here is to help parents find the tools they need to prepare for college. In today’s post, I’m featuring a free site that helps your student choose a career and find the right college fit.
As a parent, you most certainly think about your child’s future. You may see them as an engineer, a teacher, or a doctor. You may picture them at your alma mater, or being the first in your family to attend college. Maybe you just hope they find a passion and pursue it. Whatever you hope, you want what is best for your child and to support them in achieving their goals.
If you read parenting blogs, books, or articles, you know family support impacts a student’s academic success and transition to college, career, etc. You also likely know that the earlier students set goals and start preparing for life after school, their chances of reaching those goals are increased. Preparing for college as a freshman looks different than as a junior, but it is just as important for both students to connect their work today to the outcomes of their future tomorrow.
When students plan for the future early-on, they are more likely to enroll in rigorous courses, sign up for appropriate electives, become involved in extracurriculars, and consider their overall academic performance more seriously. More importantly, they learn the expectations of their goals, such as a necessary GPA, test-scores, course-load, leadership experiences, etc. By understanding these expectations early, students are empowered to take action over many years, rather than finding out it is too late, as a senior applying to schools.
While you may know what your child shoulddo, it is not always clear how to help your child do it. With your best intentions in hand, you may ask ‘Where do I start?’ or ‘What resources are available?’
There are many resources that help with college searches, including the College Board, College Search, College View, and Princeton Review. However, there has never been a resource that combines all of the different aspects of college and career planning into one platform, and certainly not for free. As a result, we are excited to introduce you to Overgrad.
Overgrad is a completely free platform, which helps students and parents plan for life after high school. Students discover different careers and colleges that match their interests and abilities, and then receive personalized feedback, highlighting areas of improvement throughout high school. For example, you may wonder ‘Is my son’s GPA currently on track to gain admission to his ideal college?” or “Is my daughter taking the appropriate classes to be prepared for an engineering program?” Overgrad is a tool that will answer these questions.
Other specific features:
How can Overgrad help you and your student??
Explore Careers and Colleges
Thinking about the future is often daunting, and when it comes to choosing colleges and careers, students might not be sure where to start.
To help solve this issue, have your student take the Overgrad Career Interest Survey. Overgrad uses this survey to generate a list of possible careers aligned to your student’s indicated interests. Students can retake this survey as many time as they like, as we know interests change. This survey however, is merely a starting point. Students can also search over 1,000 other opportunities on the Overgrad “Careers” tab using filters such as “projected job growth, industry type, salary, etc.”
Students are also matched with colleges in a similar way. Overgrad uses your student’s current academic progress (GPA, test scores, courses) to match them with universities that are currently on their level. Students can use other filters such as type of university, location, graduation rates, etc. to narrow down their college list. We also will allow them to view a unique profile for each college to to learn more before choosing their top schools.
Choose the right classes
It is important to pay attention to your child’s class schedule to ensure they are meeting their high school’s graduation requirements and the basic admission requirements for colleges. In addition, colleges often take into consideration the rigor/difficulty level (honors, AP, etc.) of students’ schedules. Overgrad helps, by tracking what classes your student is taking and comparing their current courses to the expectations of the colleges on their list. If a college expects a more rigorous course load, you and your child will know.
Take Action
Once your child has found the best career and college matches, they add these goals to their personal “My Future” page by clicking “follow”. Their My Future page shows all their future college and career goals, as well as helps students track their progress towards meeting them. Additionally, students will see both their strengths and areas they might want to improve to increase their admissions chances for each college on their list. In the example below, Angelica is able to use the colored graduation caps to see how her GPA, test scores, and courses compare to each of her top schools admissions requirements. As students improve overtime, they can actively monitor their progress, and even see a college they are interested in change from a “reach” school to a “match”.
Interested in exploring Overgrad?
Overgrad is accessible on any device—including laptops, phones, tablets, and PC’s and is absolutely free!
To start using our resources simply visit overgrad.com to create an account with your student.
We also offer Overgrad as a free resource to any school so feel free to talk to your school principal and/or guidance counselor if you would like to see Overgrad provided as a resource for all students.
If you have any additional questions along the way, feel free to email erin@overgrad.com.
April is approaching and for many seniors, it’s prime scholarship season. Today I’m providing several lists of scholarships with April deadlines. If your student wonders where to begin in their scholarship search, start with these lists:
The college your student chooses will be his home away from home for the next four years and his extended family. His choice should take into consideration those two facts and many others. How will he (and you) make the final college choice?
What do you do if your student has multiple offers of admission? Beyond comparing financial aid awards, how do you help your student decide which college is best fit? And what if he is wait-listed at his top choice, or feels as if he would like to take time off after high school and moving on to college?
Make another college visit
It’s time to revisit the colleges. This is by far the most important element of making the final college choice. If the college hosts admitted student events, your student should attend. This visit could have a profound effect on their decision. Spend as much time on campus as needed—talk with students, attend a class, talk with professors, and take your own campus tour.
Compare financial aid awards
After the visit, compare the awards. Who offers the best financial aid package? Will the awards carry your student through all four years of college (are they renewable?). Did the college include loans as part of the package? Was your student “gapped”?
Even if the college is your student’s first choice, the award should factor in to your decision. The last thing you or your student want is to graduate with overwhelming student debt. Trust me—he will thank you in the future for being the voice of reason.
Begin by reexamining all the factors your student considered when applying. For each college or university, take a second — and closer — look at location, academics, the size of the student body, and other elements that made your student feel it would be a good fit. Review statistics including the freshman retention and four-year graduation rates.
It’s been months since she submitted her applications. If she got in, is she still in love with her first-choice college? Has she learned anything about the school since she applied that changes the way she views it? Has anything changed for her? Does the school still fit with her long-term academic and personal goals?
This is a good time for your student to gather information from a few trusted sources. She doesn’t need to invite everyone she knows into the decision-making process, but it can really help to consult with older siblings and friends, or teachers, coaches, or counselors.
Based on this research and reflection, make a list of pros and cons for each college and compare them side-by-side. The top two or three should be evident.
Before your student accepts a college’s offer of admission, take all these factors into consideration. You want your student to be happy, but you also want her to graduate with minimal debt.
It’s Scholarship Friday again and this week’s scholarships are easy money. Enter, answer a simple question, or register to be eligible to win. This is only a sampling of what’s out there. Do a Google search for “$1000 scholarships” for many, many more. Some of them are monthly scholarships–enter every month until you win. And parents can also enter some of them too!
The $1000 Scholarship is available to students enrolled, or due to be enrolled, in full time university education for the semester they are applying to receive the scholarship fund.
To celebrate their scholarship search engine launch they are awarding two $1,000 college scholarships. To enter just complete this application including a 140 character or less statement on how you plan to use the scholarship money.
To help you pay for college, Cappex provides an easy scholarship every month. Because a GPA isn’t everything, there is no GPA requirement and no essay to write! All you have to do is create a Cappex profile and tell us what you do in your free time.
The $1,000 MoolahSPOT Scholarship is sponsored by MoolahSPOT.com and helps students of any age pay for higher education. The scholarship is a competition based on a short essay. Family income, grades and test scores are not used in selecting a winner. Any student at least 16 years or older who plans to attend, or is currently attending, college or graduate school. Students may be of any nationality and reside in any country.
Simply register on Noodle and tell us what it’s like to be a student at your high school. Are you the parent of a high school student? You can enter, too. Click ‘start’ and you may be the next winner of $1000! Student must be 13 or older to apply.
Sallie Mae’s $1,000 Plan for College Sweepstakes is open only to legal residents of the United States who are students, parents, guidance counselors, or financial aid officers at the time of entry. Students must register on the site to be eligible for the drawing.
It’s open to all students — high school, college, grad or adult — who are currently in college or plan to start. Complete the online application form. All winners will be selected based on completeness of application and random selection.
This scholarship is for college-bound teens in grades 9th-12th. The scholarship does not require specific test scores, GPA, or class ranking. Parents can also register but will need to designate a student to receive the award. In order to be awarded the scholarship, you must be a current C2C eNews subscriber at the time of the drawing: subscription is free.
