Tips for Staying Connected with your Teen

July 16, 2015 Suzanne Shaffer

It doesn’t matter how close you were before they entered high school, the tension always mounts and the temptation is to drift apart. It takes a concerted effort on your part to stay in touch with their world. They are naturally moving toward independence and we are naturally grasping to keep them from growing up. And thus begins the ying and yang of parent/teenager relationships.

During high school your teens will experience every form of human emotion: joy, sadness, rejection, fear of failure, excitement, disappointment, heartache, love, and the list goes on and on. Most of the emotions are extreme and always seem like the end of the world to them. It’s hard to convey to them that “this too shall pass” and they will realize as they get older that their life is just beginning.

They are looking ahead to the future while living in the present. Keeping on track and keeping their eyes on the prize (graduation and college) can be challenging. As their parent coach and encourager, and the all-knowing, all-wise adult in their life, it’s up to you to stay connected and help them maintain their focus.

Here are a few of my own tips to help when staying connected:

Find that time when you can sit with them and listen. This is not easy, because many teens rarely sit still for very long to have a conversation. I would sit in my daughter’s room while she picked out her clothes and dressed to go out. You’ll be amazed at how much information you can gather if you simply listen.

Share something they enjoy. It might not be your choice of activities, but if you share a common interest it gives you something to talk about. An activity as simple as watching their favorite television show with them, or making a trip to the mall to search for the all-important clothing purchase will offer opportunities for you to listen and for them to open up to you about their lives.

Let them make mistakes, but be there when they do. Allowing them to make choices and experience the consequences of those choices will prepare them for those times when you aren’t there to tell them what to do.

Pick your battles. It’s easy as a parent to constantly give advice, even to the point of overly controlling their lives. Save those showdowns for the biggies: drinking, smoking, drugs, and sex. Don’t stress so much over their clothing choices or their hair styles. They are teenagers. They want to fit in. If you’re not always battling them over the small things, they will be more receptive when you do put your foot down.

Staying connected with your teen can be challenging, but the rewards far outweigh the difficulties. When your teen turns to you and finally says, “thanks Mom” or “thanks Dad”, it’s all worth it!

insurance

Insurance Coverage for your College Freshman

July 15, 2015 Suzanne Shaffer

These posts were originally written for University Parent and posted on UniversityParent.com: Insurance Coverage for Your College Freshman and Health Insurance for College Students

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As our students get ready for college, what types of insurance do they need? In addition to health insurance, which is mandatory, consider these options:

Contents (Renters)

Whether your student lives on or off campus, it’s wise to protect him against theft, and this type of insurance costs relatively little, often under $200 for a year’s coverage. If your student lives in a campus residence hall, your homeowners or renters insurance policy may extend to cover his belongings. Most policies limit a student’s coverage to 10% of the parent’s coverage. In other words, if your homeowners policy has a personal property limit of $300,000, your student’s belongings are covered up to $30,000, after the deductible. Consider talking with an insurance representative to better understand the coverage available specific to your student’s living situation.

Most colleges require that students carry health insurance, and college students are subject to the “individual coverage mandate” of the Affordable Care Act (ACA). What are your options for making sure your student continues to be well covered for preventive care, major illnesses, and in case of emergencies?

Your current health insurance

The ACA allows your student to stay on your healthcare plan until the age of 26 even if she has a pre-existing condition. This may be the best option for your student’s health insurance needs. It can save time and money during the college years and also during those first few post-college years as she is getting situated financially.

Be aware that different states have different laws regarding coverage requirements. If your student attends school in another state, before being allowed to waive the student health insurance plan offered by the college, you may need to provide proof that your insurance will cover your out-of-area student at an acceptable level. Start this process early in the summer so that the paperwork is ready in time for fall registration.

parenting

Overparenting Our Teenagers

July 14, 2015 Suzanne Shaffer

I saw an article come across my Twitter and Facebook feeds last week that stopped me in my tracks: Kids of Helicopter Parents Are Sputtering Out. The subheading: Recent studies suggests that kids with overinvolved parents and rigidly structured childhoods suffer psychological blowback in college. As you can imagine, I had to read more. Why was this happening? What does the data show? How can parents prevent these negative outcomes?

Why is this happening?

We live in a very different world. Our concerns for safety cause us to give in to overprotection, even when it’s not necessary. The competition for college admission has become more than a rite of passage; it’s become a race to see whose child gets into what college and who has bragging rights. We have the best of intentions–wanting the best for our children; but those intentions have snowballed into overparenting our teenagers and harming them emotionally.

In 2013, Charlie Gofen, the retired chairman of the board at the Latin School of Chicago, a private school serving about 1,100 students, emailed the statistics off to a colleague at another school and asked, “Do you think parents at your school would rather their kid be depressed at Yale or happy at University of Arizona?” The colleague quickly replied, “My guess is 75 percent of the parents would rather see their kids depressed at Yale. They figure that the kid can straighten the emotional stuff out in his/her 20’s, but no one can go back and get the Yale undergrad degree.”

Can this be true? Are parents willing to risk their child’s emotional health for a college degree?

In How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success, the author Julie Lythcott-Haims, recounts some of her own experiences as a dean:

In my years as dean, I heard plenty of stories from college students who believed they had to study science (or medicine, or engineering), just as they’d had to play piano, and do community service for Africa, and, and, and. I talked with kids completely uninterested in the items on their own résumés. Some shrugged off any right to be bothered by their own lack of interest in what they were working on, saying, “My parents know what’s best for me.”

What does the data show?

In 2010 a psychology professor of Keene State College in New Hampshire surveyed 300 college freshmen nationwide. In 2011 the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga surveyed 300 students. In addition, there was in 2013, a survey of college counseling center directors and a survey by The American College Health Association. In 2014, the University of Colorado conducted their own survey.

The data confirms that overparenting our teenagers has taken its toll on their mental health and ability to function as independent adults. When parents do everything for their children, it’s a shock when they enter the real world of college and have to fend for themselves and walk their own path.

How can parents prevent these negative outcomes?

Take a step back and let your student figure out things for themselves. Let them problem solve, self-advocate, and make their own decisions before leaving for college. Give them space to grow and expect them to be accountable for their actions–don’t bail them out of consequences.

Madeline Leving, psychologist and author of The Price of Privilege wraps it all up nicely:

When children aren’t given the space to struggle through things on their own, they don’t learn to problem solve very well. They don’t learn to be confident in their own abilities, and it can affect their self-esteem. The other problem with never having to struggle is that you never experience failure and can develop an overwhelming fear of failure and of disappointing others. Both the low self-confidence and the fear of failure can lead to depression or anxiety.

college planning, mom approved tips, parenting

The Summer Before Junior Year of High School (10 Tips for Moms)

July 13, 2015 Suzanne Shaffer

Your student’s junior year will begin in the fall. It’s time for you and your teen to sit down and evaluate goals to make sure you are on-track for the college application process. As you go back through all the grades, papers, awards and accomplishments you will be able to see your teen’s progress and that progress will encourage them to keep focused and keep their eye on the prize: graduation and college acceptance.

1. The Junior Year GPA

If your teen has been working hard, their GPA should show it. College admissions counselors will be looking hard at their GPA from their junior year. It’s an important year to show them that the grades are at the least consistent, and at the best rising from the previous year. Falling grades are an indicator of lack of focus and could hurt them down the road when their application is reviewed. This is a good time to schedule a meeting with your high school guidance counselor and discuss your teen’s progress, and verify that their courses are on-track for graduation and for the colleges under consideration.

2. Take the PSAT

This is the all-important PSAT year. Even if your teen took it last year as practice (and hopefully they did) they need to register again, because this is when it counts. This is the year that their scores will qualify them for the National Merit Scholarship program and scholarships. Follow the calendar deadlines and register EARLY. If they took the test last year review the answers that they missed and make sure they know why they missed it and take some time to study the correct answers.

3. Take SAT and ACT practice tests

Register for the SAT or ACT and spend this year doing some practice tests online and studying vocabulary. Cramming rarely helps, but studying over a period of time and preparation will help them approach the test with confidence and the knowledge they need to test well.

4. Preparing for the Essay

Research some college applications and look at the essay topics. Encourage your teen to start thinking about the essay and drafting some preliminary essays. The college essay can often push the admissions officer over the acceptance edge if it’s done well and is unique. Look through the past essays they have written in high school and see if any could be adapted for the college essay. The worst thing your teen can do is submit a misspelled, grammatically incorrect essay as part of their college application. Early preparation will assure time for proofing and re-writes.

5. Time for some college fairs and college visits

Junior year is a perfect time to begin attending those college fairs and visiting college campuses. Many schools allow for excused college visit days. Check with your high school registrar for specifics, because you might have to complete forms to get the absences excused. Collect business cards and contact information and keep track of them using a database program. These contacts will help later if you have a question regarding a specific school or need a personal contact during the admissions process.

6. Intensify the Scholarship Search

Junior year is the time to “hunker down” and get serious about those scholarship applications. As you get closer to senior year, you’ll find that many are age and grade specific. If you’ve done your homework, you’ll have a concise catalog of those scholarships ready for your application. If not, don’t panic. There’s still plenty of time to do some research and jump on the scholarship bandwagon. Remember that every scholarship you receive, no matter how small, is FREE money that you don’t have to pay back. Don’t forget to investigate private scholarships and school-specific scholarships to assure you apply by the specific deadlines.

7. Discuss Family Finances

Summer is a good time to have that money talk with your student. How will you pay for college? What do you expect your student to contribute? What can your family afford? This will help as they begin to finalize the college list and start applying to college early in the fall of senior year.

8. Review your high school progress

Look at the past two years to see if there are any gaps in your teen’s resume. Have your teen answer these questions:

Do you need to do some volunteer work?
Are you involved in some type of leadership capacity in at least one activity?
Do your courses and grades show their college level success?
Have you established a relationship with a member of the faculty and with your high school guidance counselor?
Are your extracurricular activities “all over the place” or are they focused?

It’s not too late to remedy any of these situations. Your teen still has time during their junior year to get involved, volunteer, get to know their teachers/counselor, and exhibit leadership.

9. Begin refining the college list

It’s time to get serious about the college list. This list will dictate your college visits during junior year and be the guidebook for all your research and financial questions. Do the research, gather all the data, and narrow the list down as your student approaches the end of their junior year.

10. Don’t overparent

If you feel yourself pushing or nagging, take a step back. Don’t fall into the “competition” trap that will begin when school starts. Parents will begin to brag and you might find yourself falling into that admissions game. Don’t do it. Your student needs to find the place that’s right for him, not the place that gives you the greatest bragging rights. Help him find that college and support his decision.

Scholarship Friday, scholarships

Scholarship Friday: Scholarships for Women

July 10, 2015 Suzanne Shaffer

I came across this great list of scholarships for women at onmogul.com.

Computer Science, Engineering & Business-Focused Scholarships:

Best Value Schools STEM Scholarship for Women: Female U.S. students who are majoring in science, technology, engineering, or mathematics at the undergraduate level. Applicants must have a grade point average of 3.0 or higher, and an SAT score of 1100 or higher; $2,000 annually, non-renewable; Application Deadline: October

Dell Scholars Program: High school seniors; In addition to winning $20,000, students become part of a Dell Scholar community. These scholars also receive the latest technology equipment from Dell so that they can succeed in college. They receive textbook credits, PCs, laptops, printers, ink, and other supplies; Application Deadline: unknown

ESA Foundation Computer and Video Game Scholarship: U.S. high school seniors and undergraduate students who are pursuing degrees leading to a career in computer and video game arts. Students must be female or a minority, and must have a grade point average of 2.75 or higher; $3,000 annually, non-renewable; Application deadline: May

The Generation Google Scholarship: Created to assist aspiring computer scientists excel in technology and become leaders in the field; $10,000; Application deadline: March 5th (for high school seniors) and January 15th for current college students

General Electric: Women entering fields such as engineering or business; up to $5,000; Application Deadline: unknown

Microsoft Technical Scholarships for Minorities and Women: Must be enrolled in university and actively pursuing a degree in computer science, computer engineering, electrical engineering, math, physics, or other STEM-related field; either full or partial tuition for the entire academic year; Application deadline: unknown

NCWIT Award for Aspirations in Computing: U.S high school females with grade point average of 3.0 or better; a $500 cash award; a laptop computer (provided by Bank of America); an engraved award for both the student and the student’s school; and a trip to attend the Bank of America Technology Showcase and Awards Ceremony; Application Deadline: accepted between September 15th and October 31st

NSHSS Foundation STEM Scholarship: U.S. high school seniors who will be attending college in the fall. Applicants must be a member of an underrepresented group, have a minimum 3.5 grade point average and be pursuing a major in a STEM field; Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics; $1,000 annually, non-renewable; Application Deadline: unknown

STEM Scholarship for Women: Female currently attending or enrolled at an accredited post-secondary institution (under-graduate or graduate) and be majoring full-time in a science, technology, engineering or mathematics program; $2,000 scholarship, twice per year; Application deadline: October 31st or April 15th

Read more . . .

essays

9 Tips to Make the College Essay “Pop”

July 9, 2015 Suzanne Shaffer 1 Comment

You’re filling out your applications; you are trying to make yourself look as well-rounded as possible, listing all of your school and community-based activities and leadership roles; you know your grades and SAT/ACT scores are good enough to meet the requirements of the few colleges you have selected. There is just one more hurdle – that essay! This piece of the application process has you a bit nervous, because you are unsure of your competition and of your ability to write an essay that will really stand out. So here are a 9 tips that should help you craft a college essay that will get noticed, impress the reader(s), and be memorable.

1. START EARLY

I cannot emphasize this enough. This is not the type of essay you can throw together at the last minute. If you are using the “Common Application,” you should already know that those prompts are published in advance, and they do not change often. In fact, for 2016 admissions, the prompts are the same as they have been for the past 5 years. Get online, read through the prompt options, and select the one that most appeals to you. If your prompt comes directly from the college, get the application material during the summer, so that you have plenty of time to look at those options and select one.

2. KEEP A RUNNING LIST

As you think about your prompt, get a small notebook and keep it with you. As something comes to mind that would be a good fit for the prompt, write it down. Don’t worry about whether it is the best thought or not – just get it down at this point. For example, suppose you have selected a prompt that asks you to speak to a life-changing event that significantly changed you in some way. You may, indeed, have several big evets in your life thus far. As they come to mind, write them all down.

3. REFINE YOUR LIST

As you get closer to the time to actually write the essay (1-2 months before it is due), go through your list. Eliminate the items that are least relevant or least likely to get a response from a reader; combine those that can be combined. Finalize that list with the point or points you intend to cover. Going back to the sample prompt of an event in your life that changed you, if you had a sick pet that you nursed for days that eventually died, that is sad. It may appeal to the emotions of a reader; however, that event is meaningless unless it has motivated you to study biology and the go into veterinary medicine. Then there is significance. If you spent a summer tutoring inner-city kids and were appalled at their lack of basic skills, then that may have been the motivating factor in your selection of elementary education, so that you can one day teach in an inner city.

4. READ SAMPLES OF “WINNING” ESSAYS

These are all over the Internet, and can get a “feel” for the types of essays and the styles that really impressed admissions decision-makers. Take ideas from these as you think about how you will write your essay.

5. DEVELOP YOUR OUTLINE

It doesn’t have to be formal – just get on paper the order in which your body paragraphs will be developed and what will be contained in each of them.

6. WRITE THE BODY PARAGRAPHS

There should be a minimum of 3, and each needs a topic sentence and a good transition that leads to the next paragraph. Once written, re-read, revise, ad re-write until they are perfect – not one grammatical or spelling error, and good diversity of sentence types. Don’t be afraid to use humor if it is appropriate, and don’t be afraid to elicit emotions from the reader(s).

7. YOUR INTRODUCTION – THE CRITICAL PIECE

If you have not engaged the reader with your first sentence, you are “toast.” A short, simple “stunner” sentence that gives an amazing fact or leads into an anecdote is required here. The rest of this paragraph introduces your topic and ends with a solid thesis statement.

8. YOUR CONCLUSION

Tie back to your introduction. If you plan to study auto-immune diseases in dogs, with a goal toward prevention and cure, say so; if you plan to be the teacher that turns poor-performing children into success stories, say so!

9. STEP BACK; TAKE A BREAK; LET OTHERS READ IT

Get someone who is an English composition “master” to review and edit your essay; let friends or relatives read it and tell you honestly if they were intrigued and engaged by your first sentence. And don’t over-revise – you’ll lose authenticity!

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About the author: Great desire to make the world better – that’s what caused Julie Ellis to write. Wide experience of work with students in the role of Chief Editor PremierEssay allows her to communicate to readers with only relevant and interesting information. Follow her on twitter to find more interesting articles.

dorm life, Guest Posts

Creative Organization Ideas for College Dorm Rooms

July 8, 2015 Suzanne Shaffer 1 Comment

My guess is it happens to at least one of every two college freshman each fall. Living on campus has been something they have dreamed about since that day they caught their little brother reading their diary in seventh grade. Everything about it is new and exciting, including the freedom and the novelty of it all. Yet sometimes it may come as a surprise when they arrive and realize just how cramped their new college dorm rooms can be. In most cases it doesn’t matter because the simple truth remains: they are living on their own.

Along with that comes the opportunity to personalize the new space, which we think can be made a little more fun by using some of these creative and space-saving ideas:

Dress up that plastic storage

Chances are at some point in college, you will find yourself in need of plastic storage. Not only are these handy vessels essential to staying organized in small space, but they are portable for those multiple moves you may make throughout the college years. Make them a bit more private and a lot nicer to look at by giving them an inexpensive makeover.

Think outside the box

Why buy one of those tiny space-saving ironing boards you will only use for four years when you can repurpose something you most likely already own? A foldable TV tray can serve the same function when covered with some batting and fabric. Not only is it space-saving, but it’s cute and could double as a desk or other surface in a space that generally lacks surfaces to work on.

Don’t waste hidden storage opportunities

Finding a place for everything is probably among the biggest challenge in dorm living, especially if your roommate also has way too many pairs of shoes. Make life a little simpler by remembering to use every empty space that could be otherwise forgotten, including under the bed.

Simplify the shower

If your dorm room has its own bathroom, chances are you are sharing it with at least one roommate, if not several suite mates. Simplify your shower storage by adding a second shower rod inside the shower where you can hang extra essentials like loofahs and shower caddies, without having to lug them around everywhere each time.

Get crafty

In a small space there may not be room for a bedside table, but that doesn’t mean you don’t need a place to keep your book and glasses after all those all-nighters. To avoid having the little things accumulate in random places, consider making a bedside caddy that suits your space needs.

Reinvent the white board

White boards and calendars are a must in dorm rooms for keeping up with multiple busy schedules. But it’s okay for you to think beyond the white. Dress up the traditional organizational concept by using fun alternatives, like a photo collage piece.

Make the space your own

Function meets style with the right furniture choices. If your budget allows, consider investing in cube storage that can not only create additional storage options, but act as a room divider.

Today’s post was written by Tyler Schmidt. For more design ideas, head to Modernize.com.

dorm life

Get Your Dorm Room Organization On!

July 7, 2015 Suzanne Shaffer

Who wouldn’t like a dorm makeover? Those dorm rooms are small, cramped and devoid of any style. If your college student is heading to college in the fall, you can sign up for the College Savings Weekend at their nearest store, students will be entered to win one of ten $1,000 Dorm Room Makeovers! Don’t miss the Container Store’s Weekend event:

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At The Container Store, we’ve been helping college-bound students and their families prepare for the big move-in for almost 37 years now! We’ve also been hosting fun shopping events for over 20 years to help make the dorm prep process an easy A. No one focuses on dorm room organization like The Container Store does all year round – and especially during the summer months leading up to college move-in!!

This year we are SO excited to host a College Savings Weekend in our stores nationwide, Friday – Sunday, July 10 – 12, where college customers will receive 20% off their purchases ALL WEEKEND LONG! We will have surprises, prizes and great savings in stores for our college-bound customers and their friends all weekend! To sign up and to check out our expert dorm tips, checklists and more, students and their friends should visit our Dorm homepage at www.containerstore.com/college.

REGISTER BY JULY 8 TO RECEIVE ALL THE SPECIAL OFFERS

In addition to our shopping weekend, we offer many great tools, resources and services to help college-bound students and their parents stay organized with their college move. Our website features videos from real college students utilizing our products in their dorm room, an organized dorm checklist and our tried-and-true Dorm Room Basic Six™ – the six areas to focus on when organizing your dorm.

Also, we know many students will be traveling near and far for their first day of college this Fall. At The Container Store, we make it easy to shop and transport purchases to save space and time during the big move. No more worrying about fitting everything in the car in one trip! When customers use our GOSHOP! Service, they can shop at their favorite store or online and we’ll make sure their order is ready to pick up at a store near campus when it’s convenient for them! How cool is that?!

college planning, mom approved tips, parenting

The Summer Before Sophomore Year of High School (10 Tips for Moms)

July 6, 2015 Suzanne Shaffer 2 Comments

Not much advice is given for the sophomore year of high school. It’s almost as if it’s not an important year in high school. But it is. Every year in high school is important if your child wants to move on to higher education.

Your teen has jumped in and is now a “seasoned” high schooler. Hopefully you have both gotten use to the high school routine. Sophomore year brings your teen closer to their goal of attending college. It’s during the 10th grade that your teen will begin to take some baby steps toward realizing their goal of a college education. The focus for this year should be: preliminary testing, looking at careers, delving deeper into the college search, and getting heavily involved in a few activities.

Here are 10 tips to help parents prepare for sophomore year:

1. Begin talking about life after high school

Is your student drawn to traditional college or more toward a technical education or even entrepreneurial endeavors? These are important discussions to have as your student proceeds through high school and on to graduation. Technical colleges like Penn College address both issues by providing hands on training and a liberal arts education. But if your student wants only the technical training which is often a shorter time frame, you should also explore these options as well. Just remember, however, that this is only a discussion. Your student may change his mind many times over the next few years; but be open to any possibility.

2. Do Preliminary Testing

This is the year to take the PSAT (preliminary SAT) and PLAN (preliminary ACT). Why take them so early? First of all, because it doesn’t count and it’s great practice; secondly, because it will give your teen an idea of their testing strengths and weaknesses while they still have time to make improvements.

The key to utilizing these early tests is for your teen to get the scores and the test booklet and review the questions to find out which ones were answered incorrectly. Don’t just take the test, file the scores, and cross that task off your list. The whole point of testing early is to utilize every resource available to help your teen achieve testing success. There is nothing more disappointing than receiving low test scores when your teen excels in academics in school. Testing is all about being relaxed and knowing what to expect. These preliminary tests will help alleviate the stress of the unknown and help your teen prepare for the ones that really matter.

3. Explore careers

By now, your teen should know what interests them in school. Are they drawn to the sciences? Or is drama their cup of tea? Do they excel in math? Or are they interested in literature? These interests will serve to guide your teen down the right career path. It would be useless to pursue a career in the medical field if science and math are your teen’s least favorite subjects. It would also be frivolous to head down an acting career path if your teen does not like being on stage in front of people. Analyze their interests and strengths to guide them in choosing the career that would best suit them and feed their passion.

4. Take personality and/or career inventory tests

You can start here: http://www.allthetests.com/career-tests-job-quizzes.php and search for other tests online. Most of them are FREE and can be used as a tool to further determine the direction your teen might be heading in the college/career search. Many schools have software and testing as well that they offer to their students to help them find the right match.

5. Attend career days

Many cities offer career days with speakers from various walks of life. Encourage your teen to attend these and ask questions. Find out where the speaker attended college and the types of classes he/she might recommend if your teen is interested in that career. There’s nothing more beneficial than speaking with an actual doctor, lawyer, engineer, actress, musician, teacher, fashion designer or entrepreneur.

6. Delve deeper into the college search

You’ve done some internet surfing, looked online at some colleges that might appeal to your teen, and done some preliminary reading. This is the year that you increase the depth of your college search. As you progress through the process and the research you should get closer to narrowing down the schools that best fit your teen.

7. Start making a preliminary list

This is your teen’s list of college possibilities. Every teen has their “dream” college. They may not voice it, or allow themselves to think about it, but most of them have that name sitting in the back of their mind. Once they begin to know what their interests are and what is important to them, the list will start to take shape.

8. Take some online college tours

You and your teen can take some virtual tours of college campuses, and even purchase DVD’s of specific colleges if you want more in-depth information. These preliminary tours will give you and your teen a feel for the campus and prepare you when summer comes along and you start visiting some campuses. These visits are extremely important, and I will go into greater detail during the junior year plan. However, getting an early jumpstart, especially with some colleges within driving distance, will help your teen get an indication of what to expect when the tours become more focused as you begin to narrow down the final college choices.

9. Get heavily involved in a few activities

Admissions counselors have antenna for students that “pad” their high school resumes. These are the ones that dabble in a little of everything but never get involved in depth. While it’s important to try many different activities during high school, it is also important to settle on the few that interest you and stick with them. The goal is to eventually take on leadership positions or an active role in the mechanics of the organization. Help your teen to find the one activity that interests them and stick with it throughout high school. My daughter got involved in NJROTC and eventually became an officer in the corps. She also joined the drill team and the academic team, showing a level of commitment and focus.

10. Don’t forget the scholarship applications

You should encourage your teen to continue applying for scholarships. This task becomes more important during the next few years because many scholarships have age requirements and restrictions. Stay on top of the application deadlines and don’t get the “sophomore slacker” attitude. Your teen is headed into the home stretch and junior year is looming on the horizon.

Holidays, parenting

The Freedom to Choose

July 4, 2015 Suzanne Shaffer

Today is Independence Day and along with all the fireworks, barbecues and festivities, we should always reflect on the meaning of freedom. Our college bound teens would tell us that freedom means they don’t have to be under the constant supervision of parents when they leave for college. Our upcoming seniors would say freedom means they have the right to choose the college they apply to and attend.

While the freedom to choose is at the center of our independence, we are also responsible for those choices and the consequences they might bring on ourselves and others. That’s why it is extremely important that parents explain the consequences of a wrong college choice. What constitutes a wrong college choice:

Choosing a college that you simply cannot afford causing you to incur too much student loan debt
Choosing a college that you really know nothing about based on the choices of your friends
Choosing a college because it’s far away from home or close to home without investigating other factors like graduation rate, course availability and student population
Choosing a college because your boyfriend and/or girlfriend is going there and you don’t want to be separated
Choosing a college that does not match your social interests (i. e. a college that everyone goes home on the weekends, or a college with a predominant Greek life culture that doesn’t interest you)
Choosing a college because someone else has chosen it for you (parents, friends, teachers)

As you can see, all of these choices will result in an unhappy student who will most likely drop out freshman year and result in a large monetary loss as well as student loan debt that will have to be repaid. Teach your teens who crave for the freedom of choice that along with it comes the responsibility of making that choice. Choose wisely after you have all the facts.

Happy Independence Day! Enjoy your family and your freedom!

Parenting for College

Tips for Staying Connected with your Teen

Insurance Coverage for your College Freshman