Tag Archives: binge drinking

parenting, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: Talking to Your Teen About Irresponsible Behavior

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irresponsible behaviorOne of the first things we learn growing up is that all of our actions have consequences. If we pull a glass of water off the table, it will spill all over us. If we touch a hot burner on the stove, it will burn. If we pick up a knife on the blade, it will cut us.

Selective memory loss

Teaching teens the consequences of irresponsible behavior can be challenging. Unfortunately, too many teens begin to make choices during their teen years that are life changing and life altering. They don’t rationalize that sleeping with someone you just met can have consequences: sexually transmitted diseases, AIDS, pregnancy, rape and even at the very worst murder. They don’t think that cheating on a test in school, even if you don’t get caught, robs you of an education and learning. They don’t see that getting in a car with a drunk driver could end in tragedy because most teens who are drunk believe they have the capacity to drive. They can’t look far enough into the future to see that going to a college they can’t afford could land them in overwhelming debt after graduation.

Running down the scenarios

I know. All those scenarios are a bit dramatic. But let’s just think before we discount them as viable examples of ignoring the consequences of our choices. Your teen would be well served if he did the same. The next time your teen is tempted to sleep with someone they just met, what would happen if they ran over the previously stated consequences in their mind before they decide to do it? There would be consequences to their decision: good or bad. Before they get into a car with another teen who is drunk or drive drunk themselves, imagine what would happen if there is an accident and their friends or other innocent drivers and passengers are killed. Before getting wasted, imagine what would happen if he got alcohol poisoning and his friends couldn’t recognize the symptoms or get help when it was needed.

All decisions have consequences

When you’re young and your whole life is ahead of you, you tend to function in the present. Twenty or thirty years from now seems like an eternity to someone in their teens. But time has a way of catching up with us and every choice we make when we are young has both good and bad consequences. The trick is to know when those consequences aren’t worth the risk. And the other trick is to pause long enough before taking those risks to weigh both the good and the bad.

If your teen gets anything from this bit of advice, let it be this: take time to think before you act. Weigh the good and the bad consequences. Then once they decide, make the best of their decision and swallow the good with the bad. Every path they take in life has the potential for greatness. Encourage your teen to be wise and think before they act, knowing that their choice could potentially be the wrong one.

Read Wendy’s Post: College Prep Red Flags

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Wendy and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from parentingforcollege to pocsmom.com and vice versa.

college planning, parenting, Uncategorized

Substance abuse in college

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One of my sidelines every year is preparing Red Ribbon Week support materials for the public schools. While it’s rewarding knowing that I can do a small part to contribute to drug awareness education, it’s also a bit depressing to read the statistics related to drug and alcohol abuse.

Each year, the NIDA (National Institute on Drug Abuse) conducts a “Monitoring the Future” study. This study queries high school students and even follows them into college to see if the patterns change. This year’s study added a new facet: the abuse of prescription and non-prescription drugs.  It’s hard to believe that so many teens are abusing prescription drugs (Adderall has become quite prevalent–a drug used for ADHD) and non-prescription drugs (Robotussin leads the list).

Of course, alcohol weighs heavily in the study:

Alcohol use remains extremely widespread among today’s teenagers. Nearly three quarters of students (72%) have consumed alcohol (more than just a few sips) by the end of high school, and more than one third (37%) have done so by 8th grade. In fact, more than half (57%) of 12th graders and one sixth (17%) of 8th graders in 2009 report having been drunk at least once in their life.

The study shows that teens start early abusing substances and carry the trend on into college. I can’t stress enough the importance of talking with your kids early about the dangers of this type of behavior. If you don’t believe your child will drink in college, you’re fooling yourself. Just read the last blog post by a Virginia Tech student and learn how he got sucked into the party scene on campus.

I encourage every parent to read the overview of the study: Monitoring the Future. A knowledgeable parent is a prepared parent.

If you liked this article, you might like:

Parents-Can you handle the truth?

Top 10 Things every parents should know about hooking up in college?

college guidance, parenting, Uncategorized

The #1 Party School Crown

This year the Princeton Review named Penn State the #1 Party School. Last year it was University of Florida. I remember when my daughter was headed off to college, Southwest Texas State University (now Texas State) claimed the title. Does that mean that the schools that aren’t rated don’t party? Of course not. It means that the students who were polled online gave responses that garnered them that title. They wear it proudly. However sobering that thought may be, it’s a reality.

This American Life did an interesting series of podcasts about the college drinking culture. As a parent, it was an eye opener. Don’t get me wrong, I know that both my kids drank in college. I was not naive to think they would avoid alcohol for four years. But listening to this podcast definitely raises some serious questions regarding college drinking and its affect on our young college students.

Here are a few questions you might want to ask yourself before your teen heads off to college:

  1. Would you let your teen go to the #1 Party School (or even one that was ranked)?
  2. How concerned are you about college binge drinking?
  3. Do you think drinking is a rite of passage for college students?
  4. How can you discourage your teen from overindulging in alcohol while in college?
  5. Considering that a large portion of college drinking happens at frat parties, would you discourage involvement in Greek life?
  6. Does your daughter understand that drinking often leads to hooking up that she might regret later?
  7. Would drinking and the affect it has on college students make you think twice about allowing them to live in a dorm or even leave home for college?
  8. How can you impress the importance of a college education when the college culture revolves around beer bongs, frat parties, and binge drinking?
  9. Knowing that drinking causes negative consequences, how can you teach your teen to make the right choices before they are on their own and being influenced by their peers?
  10. Is the value of a college education devalued because of the college drinking culture?

Head over to This American Life where you can stream the broadcast for free or download it for $.99. The interviews cover conversations with Penn State students, people in the surrounding neighborhood, officers, and establishments in the area. You will hear students talk about their drinking escapades and girls talking about the behavior drinking induces. You will listen to guys talk about inducing a drunken state in the hopes of getting the girl into bed.

It’s eye-opening and a bit disturbing. But, as a parent, you need to know about the culture so you can help prepare your teen. You should talk about drinking and prepare them for the inevitable onslaught of peer pressure to drink. If your teen is headed off to college in the fall, listen to this podcast with them and use it to open the discussion.