If you’ve been scrolling through Reddit lately as I have or talking to high school seniors, you know that waiting for college decisions can feel like absolute torture. The uncertainty, the constant “where are you going to college?” questions, and the fear of rejection make this one of the most emotionally exhausting times of your life. You’re not alone in feeling this way.
The Emotional Rollercoaster of College Decisions
Some students are feeling hopeless. Others have stopped sleeping entirely. Some have even joked about “ways to torture yourself after not getting in.” The reality is that this waiting period is filled with anxiety, self-doubt, and sometimes even despair. But here’s the truth: No matter what happens, this moment does not define your future.
College acceptance season can be an emotional rollercoaster. After months of hard work, applications, and anticipation, receiving a rejection letter can feel like a crushing blow to your student — and to you as a parent. While it’s hard to see your teen disappointed, this moment also presents an opportunity to teach resilience, encourage self-reflection, and support them as they regroup and move forward.
Here’s how you can help your student navigate the disappointment of college rejections:
So, you’re about to embark on one of the biggest decisions of your life: choosing a college. It’s like stepping into a maze, filled with endless possibilities and a whole lot of unknowns. With so many factors to consider, it can feel overwhelming. But don’t worry, we’re here to guide you through the labyrinth.
Affordability is key. Let’s face it, cost is a major factor for most students. A recent survey showed that 53% of students ranked affordability as the most important factor in their college choice. And 67% rated the cost of attendance as “very important.”
But here’s the thing: affordability shouldn’t come at the expense of quality. That’s where accreditation comes in. Accredited programs are held to high standards, ensuring you get a top-notch education.
The NACAC (National Association for College Admissions Counseling) surveyed their member four-year colleges and you might be interested to know what they found.
The responses indicated that the most important factors in admission decisions were grades and high school courses. According to their recent survey, 77 percent of colleges listed the student’s grades in college prep courses (AP and Honors) as considerably important. High school grades in all courses were considered important by 74 percent of colleges, and the strength of the high school curriculum by 64 percent of colleges surveyed.
Interestingly, the essay had considerable importance by only 19 percent of colleges, with demonstrated interest ranking important by 16 percent of colleges.
As the parent of a college-bound teen, you want to know what college administrators think about admissions practices. Knowledge is power and you can use it as your student begins to apply to colleges. If you know what the colleges are focusing on and what administrators consider important, your student will have useful information as they apply.
College preparation does NOT begin during your student’s senior year. It starts in middle school with a discussion about college and decisions related to high school course selection and gets off to a running start their first day of high school. While you might be astonished and astounded by this statement, the truth is if you take it to heart, your student will enter senior year prepared and at the top of the college applicant pool.
Following are five steps to take once your student enters high school to prepare for their senior year and the college admissions process. These steps will help you and your student have less stress and be less likely to panic due to lack of preparation when that all-important college application time comes along.
There’s a new documentary on PBS called “Try Harder!”. It chronicles the lives of some students at Lowell High School, a prestigious high school in California with predominantly Asian students. Their goal–get into the Ivies or the UC colleges. Why? Because according to them, anything else communicates failure.
I was struck by one young man who said, “If I don’t get into one of these schools, I won’t make a difference in the world or be successful.” How sad. What type of message are we conveying to our students? Try Harder.
It’s that time of year when seniors will be weighing their college options. Choices will be made as parents and students evaluate colleges who offered admission.
The long wait is over and it’s time to make a decision. Which college will your student attend? This decision feels like the most important decision in his life up to this point and will weigh heavily on his mind and yours over the next month.
Before your teen makes the decision, however, you should weigh your college options. You would never purchase a home without determining its value, its fit for your family, or even its location. This college decision should be approached in the same manner. And to complicate matters, the decision has to be made in a timely manner—the National Candidate’s Reply Date is May 1st.
If your student didn’t get an offer of admission from his first or even second choice college, or he is accepted without enough financial aid, it’s time to re-evaluate the colleges on his list. Your teen should take a closer look at those schools on the list that weren’t on top. If he did his homework before applying, these schools should be more than sloppy seconds.
Netflix recently released a documentary/re-enactment of the Varsity Blues scandal over college admissions. You probably heard the news last year about rich parents paying bribes to get their less than stellar students into elite universities. If you have the time, have a student heading to college, or are simply interested to see how the scandal unfolded watch the documentary.
As I watched I realized how much the media highlighted the celebrities involved and neglected to examine why this happened. The college admissions system is broken. Granted, there has always been those who benefit from huge donors, legacies and connections. But the overwhelming desire to get into the “prestigious” colleges has caused parents and students to step outside the normal boundaries and into illegal and damaging practices.
I won’t go into details about the sting, or the characters involved, but I think it’s important to focus on some take-aways from the documentary and also think about what we learned from all of it.
Covid-19 has certainly thrown a wrench into every aspect of our lives. If you have a college-bound teen, you know that the college admissions landscape has changed.
Before the pandemic, test scores were at the top of every college’s list—not true any longer. Before the pandemic, students freely visited colleges, meeting students and admissions officers—not true any longer. Before Covid, the financial aid landscape was simply held in information on the FAFSA—not true any longer. Before the pandemic, the college application and it’s components were set in stone for every college—not true any longer.
Since the college admissions landscape has changed, I’m going to spend a few days outlining the changes to help parents and students understand what’s happening in college admissions since the pandemic.
A quick look at several changes
Road 2 College, one of my favorite sites for college admission information, outlined some Covid-19 developments in a video that you should know about:
1. The vast majority of colleges and universities are now test-optional. That includes more than 90% of all highly selective and elite schools.
2. Because two-year-old tax returns are used when completing the Free Application for Federal Student Aid and the CSS Profile, many a family’s financial information will be inaccurate when the financial aid forms need to be completed. More families will want to appeal their financial aid awards.
3. It’s not just need-based aid awards that can be appealed. At many schools, students can appeal the merit award they receive. In this environment, it’s likely that more students will be successful.
4. At least for high school seniors planning to start college in the fall of 2021, the merit awards that some schools offer will be greater. Institutions that are more likely to offer better deals include private colleges not located in major cities on the coasts and in areas where there is a shrinking pool of teenagers.
5. You don’t want to select a college that could close or experience severe financial issues. In the video, I talk about an easy way to determine if a school could be in trouble.
In addition to these, the college essay options have changed. Choosing a college has become more difficult based on the in-person visits being hindered at many colleges. Grades are being evaluated in a different way by colleges, due to the absence of test scores and the decision to become test-optional.
