Tag Archives: college choice

admissions, college guidance, college planning, college prep, college transfer, community college, parenting

My Son’s Path to College Graduation Took 9 Years After High School

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This week, I will be sharing some personal stories and experiences of my own children’s path to college. I hope they help enlighten you and encourage you to help your college-bound teen.

college graduation

During his senior year of high school, my son applied to three schools: the Air Force Academy, West Point, and the Citadel. He knew he didn’t have the grades to get into these competitive colleges, but they were his dream schools. He didn’t apply anywhere else and when he was not offered admission, he decided to give up on college. He was defeated and felt he couldn’t possibly succeed. He also felt college was out of the question without scholarships and he did not bother to apply for any. Because of this, my son’s path to college graduation took nine years after high school.

Unfortunately, I was an uninformed parent. I did not know at the time there were many other options for him. He could have attended community college for a nominal cost. He could have applied rolling admission to colleges that were within our ability to pay. He could have chosen a military college and accepted an officer’s commission after graduation. But because he felt he had few options, he opted for the military, with the promise of attending college while serving.

Since he chose the Marines, he had little time to attend college. After serving his four years, he was honorably discharged and the day after leaving the Marine Corps, he began attending a state college on the G.I Bill. Unfortunately, he made a poor college choice. Based on his Marine buddies recommendations, he chose a “party” school. To make matters worse, the college was a commuter college—students went home on the weekends.

Every student has a different path to college--be sensitive and be an encourager
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After one semester, he withdrew with an absolutely disappointing 1.0 GPA. It was not that he was a poor student. He just wasn’t ready. After being told what to do for four years, he wasn’t disciplined enough to attend class, study, and participate in discussions. His plan—come home and find a full-time job. We agreed to give him six months.

After working at a minimum wage job for one year and living in a small studio apartment, it became clear to him that he needed a college education. Since his GPA would not allow him to re-enter college, he decided to attend community college, retake the same courses, bring up his GPA and transfer to a four-year college after he had met the basic requirements. Better yet, his G.I Bill and Pell Grant would cover all his tuition, making it possible to attend for two years without incurring any student loan debt.

After two years of community college, he transferred to a private college with a 4.0 GPA. Because of his excellent academic standing, he was able to secure scholarships for this college as well. After two more years, and nine years after high school, he graduated Magna Cum Laude with numerous academic merit awards. It was clear that he was capable of so much more than he thought he was in high school.

What made the difference? He was ready. After working for a year making minimum wage, he realized the importance of a college education. He made a plan and kept his eye on the prize. As he did in the Marines, he excelled in the execution of that plan and reaped the rewards of his academic commitment.

Is your teen a good student and is struggling with a college decision? Don’t be discouraged. He or she may not be ready. A gap year might be in order. Working at a trade or internship could help motivate them. For my son, the military was the best option. Whatever your teenager decides, the path he or she takes should be the path that best fits them. Forcing a student to attend college if he’s not ready will only lead to disaster: financial and personal failure.

If you think your unmotivated student has few education options after high school, think again. Community college is always an option, offering an opportunity to ease into college life. Trade schools offer a hands-on education and for some students, the best choice. There are colleges who accept applications year round, and even colleges that have a 100% acceptance rate. Just because your student does mediocre in high school, don’t assume college will be an academic repeat. If college is truly his goal, he will make it work; and he just might surprise you.

academics, college guidance, financial aid, parenting

My Daughter Turned Down a Full-Ride Scholarship

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full-ride scholarship

 

During this financial aid award season, several years ago, my daughter had to make a difficult decision: which college would receive her acceptance of an offer of admission. Of the many colleges she applied to, they included private colleges, state universities, and trade colleges. Some offered her financial aid, others did not. It was a heart-wrenching decision for her: choose the college that offered the best financial aid package with a full-ride scholarship, choose her dream college that gapped her offering no financial aid, or choose the college that was her perfect fit.

For me, it was a no-brainer. One college offered her a full-ride scholarship, along with the major she wanted to pursue. It was in the city she wanted to live in. All the boxes were checked off. There was one problem, however. Since the college was over 2000 miles away from her home, she applied without ever visiting the campus.

Still stuck on her dream college, we scheduled college visits to the other colleges on her list. Here’s where the emotional issue of choosing a college entered into the mix. For teens, the college choice is always more emotional than practical. For parents, this factor makes it even more difficult for you to guide your student in the best decision.

After visiting three colleges in the same city, one her dream college, she was faced with a difficult choice. If it were up to her, she would have chosen her dream college. Knowing this decision would put her into debt, I was able to convince her to look at the other schools.

One of the other colleges offered her a full-ride scholarship; but when we drove onto the campus she immediately balked. Her reaction was so severe that she wouldn’t even get out of the car. My reaction—total anger and frustration. But I knew that I would regret forcing her to consider this college when she was so adamantly against it. So we drove away and moved on to the next college; knowing full well this meant she was turning her back on a full-ride scholarship.

The next college was a slam dunk. She loved the campus. She loved the tour and the students she met. She loved the location, its surroundings, and the total college experience it offered her. It was a small campus and since she would be so far away from home, it would be easier for her to assimilate in this type of environment. Since it was a liberal arts college, she could minor in English—something she had always wanted to do. The next best part, their financial aid package was doable. With her scholarships, grants and work study, she would only have to take out minimal student loans.

Seeing her turn down a full-ride scholarships was a tough pill to swallow. As her parent, I was completely focused on the financial aspect of the decision. But once I saw how excited she was about the other college and saw the smiles on her face, I knew this was the right decision.

Letting her make an emotional college choice (coupled with some financial sense) was the right decision. She flourished at that college. She met lifelong friends. She was able to get a well-rounded education and graduate with a degree that was employable. She still thanks me every day for letting her make that emotional choice and for also standing firm on the impracticality of her dream college.

Choosing a college is a highly emotional decision for your student. Your job as a parent is to guide them into a practical choice while taking into account that you want a happy student going off to college. Although financing should be a key part of the decision, it’s not always about the money.

admissions, college guidance

Tips for Making the Final College Choice

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final college choice

The college your student chooses will be his home away from home for the next four years and his extended family. His choice should take into consideration those two facts and many others. How will he (and you) make the final college choice?

What do you do if your student has multiple offers of admission? Beyond comparing financial aid awards, how do you help your student decide which college is best fit? And what if he is wait-listed at his top choice, or feels as if he would like to take time off after high school and moving on to college?

Make another college visit

It’s time to revisit the colleges. This is by far the most important element of making the final college choice. If the college hosts admitted student events, your student should attend. This visit could have a profound effect on their decision. Spend as much time on campus as needed—talk with students, attend a class, talk with professors, and take your own campus tour.

Compare financial aid awards

After the visit, compare the awards. Who offers the best financial aid package? Will the awards carry your student through all four years of college (are they renewable?). Did the college include loans as part of the package? Was your student “gapped”?

Even if the college is your student’s first choice, the award should factor in to your decision. The last thing you or your student want is to graduate with overwhelming student debt. Trust me—he will thank you in the future for being the voice of reason.

Compare colleges on all levels

In an article I wrote for University Parent, How Will Your Senior Decide?, I make these suggestions:

Begin by reexamining all the factors your student considered when applying. For each college or university, take a second — and closer — look at location, academics, the size of the student body, and other elements that made your student feel it would be a good fit. Review statistics including the freshman retention and four-year graduation rates.

It’s been months since she submitted her applications. If she got in, is she still in love with her first-choice college? Has she learned anything about the school since she applied that changes the way she views it? Has anything changed for her? Does the school still fit with her long-term academic and personal goals?

This is a good time for your student to gather information from a few trusted sources. She doesn’t need to invite everyone she knows into the decision-making process, but it can really help to consult with older siblings and friends, or teachers, coaches, or counselors.

Based on this research and reflection, make a list of pros and cons for each college and compare them side-by-side. The top two or three should be evident.

Before your student accepts a college’s offer of admission, take all these factors into consideration. You want your student to be happy, but you also want her to graduate with minimal debt.

college guidance, college planning

10 Criteria to Narrow Down Your College List

 

college list

There are over 4000 four-year colleges in the United States and another 1900 community colleges. Choosing a college can be overwhelming if you don’t narrow down the choices with this simple list of basic criteria. Once you’ve narrowed down the college list, you can get more selective and specific with your final choices.

Here is a list of 10 choice criteria to consider:

  • Your study preferences—Are they more comfortable in a structured class or do you excel doing independent study? Do you require academic challenge or prefer in-class time with little or no additional study?
  • Money—Your budget plays a huge factor in the decision process. If your budget is tight, will you consider student loans? And if so, will an expensive private university be worth the debt?
  • Size—Do you want small class size or does it matter? Does being part of a large student body appeal to you or would they prefer a small college atmosphere?
  • Location—Do you want to go away to college or stay close by so you can live at home? Are you looking for a cultural experience that a big city offers or a down home experience provided by a small town college?
  • Extracurriculars—Are you set on joining a sorority or a fraternity? Are these offered at the colleges you are considering? Are there other activities that you feel are crucial to having a positive college experience (i.e. working on a campus newspaper, participating in intramural sports, studying abroad)?
  • Academics—Is there a specific major you are interested in or will a liberal arts degree do? Not every university offers the same academic disciplines.
  • Career focus—Do you want to study the culinary arts or fashion design? Consider a school that offers these types of specialized degrees.
  • Sports—Does the school have a huge sports program or do sports play little impact in your decision?
  • Competitive vs Non-competitive—Do you have the resume that will ensure acceptance in a competitive college like Stanford or Penn State? Or do you have a strong academic showing that would send you to the top of the list at a non-competitive college and qualify you for a full scholarship?
  • Specialized programs—Do you want to work in the stock market? Does the school offer a trading room? What about internships, undergraduate research, service learning, and even specialized senior capstone projects (integrating and synthesizing what you have learned).

The college list should be loosely formed by the start of senior year. Juniors should be focusing on college visits and start working on their list. Seniors should review this list and once offers of admission arrive, use it to make the final choice.

college guidance, college majors, college planning, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: The #1 Question to Ask Before Applying to College

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#1 questionThe new school year is beginning and high school seniors will be making that difficult choice: choosing a college. It’s certainly a process of eliminating the unaffordable ones, the ones that are either too far away or too close to home, and the ones that simply don’t interest your student. But before applying to college, there is a #1 question you should ask your student.

What is the first question you ask your student before he applies to college? Here are a few standard inquiries:

  • Where do you want to go?
  • What do you want to major in?
  • What size college do you want to attend?
  • How far away from home do you want to go?

and the ever popular, What do you want to be?

But are these the best questions to ask when applying to college? Should your student be thinking beyond the obvious and delve deeper into what they expect to get from their education?

So many students enter college without a goal or purpose. This can end up costing parents money and added years of college attendance. You can’t, of course, expect every 18-year old to know what they want to do after graduation, but you can guide them on the right path.

POCSMom and Long Island College Prep Examiner Wendy David-Gaines sheds some insight into the question you SHOULD be asking your college bound student. Once you read it, you will say DUH! It makes perfect sense!

Answer this, and then apply to college

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Wendy and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. 

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from parentingforcollege to pocsmom.com and vice versa.

Holidays, parenting

The Freedom to Choose

freedom

Today is Independence Day and along with all the fireworks, barbecues and festivities, we should always reflect on the meaning of freedom. Our college bound teens would tell us that freedom means they don’t have to be under the constant supervision of parents when they leave for college. Our upcoming seniors would say freedom means they have the right to choose the college they apply to and attend.

While the freedom to choose is at the center of our independence, we are also responsible for those choices and the consequences they might bring on ourselves and others.  That’s why it is extremely important that parents explain the consequences of a wrong college choice. What constitutes a wrong college choice:

  • Choosing a college that you simply cannot afford causing you to incur too much student loan debt
  • Choosing a college that you really know nothing about based on the choices of your friends
  • Choosing a college because it’s far away from home or close to home without investigating other factors like graduation rate, course availability and student population
  • Choosing a college because your boyfriend and/or girlfriend is going there and you don’t want to be separated
  • Choosing a college that does not match your social interests (i. e. a college that everyone goes home on the weekends, or a college with a predominant Greek life culture that doesn’t interest you)
  • Choosing a college because someone else has chosen it for you (parents, friends, teachers)

As you can see, all of these choices will result in an unhappy student who will most likely drop out freshman year and result in a large monetary loss as well as student loan debt that will have to be repaid. Teach your teens who crave for the freedom of choice that along with it comes the responsibility of making that choice. Choose wisely after you have all the facts.

Happy Independence Day! Enjoy your family and your freedom!

college guidance, financial aid, mom approved tips

Mom-Approved Tips: How Will You Make the Final College Choice?

 

final college choiceThe May 1st decision deadline is approaching and families are anguishing over that final college choice. The college your student chooses will be her home for the next four years. It will be her extended family. Her choice should take into consideration those two facts. But how will you make the final college choice?

Make another college visit

It’s time to revisit the colleges. This is by far the most important element of making the final college choice. If the college hosts admitted student events, your student should attend. This visit could have a profound effect on their decision. Spend as much time on campus as needed—talk with students, attend a class, talk with professors, and take your own campus tour.

Compare financial aid awards

After the visit, compare the awards. Who offers the best financial aid package? Will the awards carry your student through all four years of college (are they renewable?). Did the college include loans as part of the package? Was your student “gapped”?

Even if the college is your student’s first choice, the award should factor in to your decision. The last thing you or your student want is to graduate with overwhelming student debt. Trust me—she will thank you in the future for being the voice of reason.

Compare colleges who offered admission

In an article I wrote for University Parent, How Will Your Senior Decide?, I make these suggestions:

Begin by reexamining all the factors your student considered when applying. For each college or university, take a second — and closer — look at location, academics, the size of the student body, and other elements that made your student feel it would be a good fit. Review statistics including the freshman retention and four-year graduation rates.

It’s been months since she submitted her applications. If she got in, is she still in love with her first-choice college? Has she learned anything about the school since she applied that changes the way she views it? Has anything changed for her? Does the school still fit with her long-term academic and personal goals?

This is a good time for your student to gather information from a few trusted sources. She doesn’t need to invite everyone she knows into the decision-making process, but it can really help to consult with older siblings and friends, or teachers, coaches, or counselors.

Based on this research and reflection, make a list of pros and cons for each college and compare them side-by-side. The top two or three should be evident.

Before your student accepts a college’s offer of admission, take all these factors into consideration. You want your student to be happy, but you also want her to graduate with minimal debt.

college guidance, college planning, Wednesdays parent

Wednesday’s Parent: My Daughter Chose a College by Location

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college locationDoes location matter when it comes to choosing a college? For some students, it’s all about the location. For others, the location plays a key role in narrowing down the college list. My daughter chose a college by location: Boston. It was the number one factor on her college list.

Where did we start?

We started our search by creating a list of colleges in the Boston area. Because Boston is a college town with more than 100 colleges and universities to choose from we had a very long list—some in the city itself and some in the surrounding suburbs. We used the College Board’s site to start the search by location. Then we added other criteria like majors, college size, financial aid, along with other important statistics like graduation rates and student debt figures.

How did she choose?

Once we had the list, she did her research by delving deeper into the college culture, student population and acceptance rate. She chose some in the city and some in the surrounding suburban areas. Each of these choices met the other important criteria: majors available, merit aid awards, and graduation rates.

What did we learn?

We learned that it’s perfectly acceptable to choose a college based on location, as long as you delve deeper into the college and what it offers. We didn’t use location as the sole deciding factor, but colleges who were not in the desired area did not make the list. We found the perfect college for her in the suburbs of Boston—offering the major she wanted, the college size, and the merit aid she needed to avoid high student loan debt.

If your student seems to make an illogical college choice based solely on location, remember that you can work with it if you do your research and add the other important criteria.

Read Wendy’s Post: 3 Ways to Consider College Location

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Wendy and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Wendy and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from parentingforcollege to pocsmom.com and vice versa.

college guidance, college planning, Guest Posts, mom approved tips

Mom-Approved Tips: Planning for an Informed College Choice

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college choiceBuilding off of the fabulous and informative articles about the economics of choosing a college featured earlier this month (Payscale’s 2015 College Salary Report and Mom Approved Tips: How to Choose a College), I want to share with you a simple system to help you make this huge decision and an informed college choice.

1. Schedule Time in Your Calendar to Implement the System

The first step in any system is scheduling time to implement it. Set aside an hour this week to start working through the following steps. This can be done as a family or by the student. The key to not getting overwhelmed by the process is taking it one little step at a time. Break down each task into small, easy to accomplish tasks, and you’ll be done before you know it.

2. Start with a Large List and Narrow it Down

You are much better off with a long list than a short list of colleges. Remember when you are deciding which college to attend it will have been three-six months since you were applying. A lot can change in that amount of time, so you want to make sure you have enough options to make the best decision. I recommend students have a final list of 8-10 schools. If applying to that many schools is a financial burden for you and your family, remember you can always request application fee waivers. You can do this my writing the college directly or check out the College Board or NACAC for more information on the standard application fee waiver requests.

To get down to those 8-10 schools, start with a much larger list. Put any school on the list that even piques your interest. Spend time browsing the net and talking to friends, family, teachers, and counselors. Don’t limit yourself. Just write everything down right now. You want to make a large list and then focus on narrowing it down by asking yourself the following questions.

3. What do you want to do after you graduate?

Do you have a particular career or major in mind? Spend your time researching the best undergrad programs. See which schools your dream companies recruit from. Are there intern or co-op programs? You can use the Payscale Best Schools by Majors list shared last week to help you. You can also look at rankings for different majors.

Maybe you are unsure about what you want to do after you graduate. That’s OK! You just might want to steer clear of very specific programs. For example, if you’re on the fence about engineering, you don’t want to have a list of exclusively engineering schools.

Look at your list and cross off any schools that don’t offer the major(s) you’re interested in. Put the schools with the best programs at the top of the list. Be sure to take a look at the companies that recruit from and attend the career fairs of the colleges on your list. Not many students or their parents do this, but it is probably one of the biggest factors for how easy or difficult your future job search will be.

4. What are the economics of your choice?

I specifically don’t want you to think about what your “budget” is or how much the college costs. You need to look at the whole picture. What sort of financial aid and scholarship packages do the schools offer? What are your parents able and willing to contribute? Use Katie’s advice to broach the subject. What is your potential starting salary? What are your potential lifetime earnings? WRITE IT ALL DOWN. Use this wizard to figure out how much student loan debt is reasonable for you. Use the Payscale information to get median salaries for different careers.

For example, if your dream job is teaching middle school, your salary will likely be in the $30,000-$60,000 range during your lifetime. So you need to consider if spending $200,000 on your education will be too big of burden. If so, cross those hefty price tag schools off your list.

On the other hand, if your dream job is a petroleum engineer for a big oil company, I would consider spending more money on a school with a strong program that has relationships with all the big companies over a school that’s cheaper but doesn’t have any oil companies going to their career fairs. Put the schools with the applicable company connections at the top of your list.

5. Where do you want to live and study?

Location, location, location. It can be a big factor in your enjoyment of college, the expense, and the ease of your future job search. It’s definitely easier to get a job in the city or area where you go to school. If you know you want to work in a particular city or region, check out the schools there. You’ll be able to build your network while in school, making the job search process a breeze.

Maybe you know you want to go to school in the South, Midwest, or Coasts. Keep in mind there are additional expenses if you go to school far from home (flights home, storage between semesters, etc.). Cross off any schools on your list in regions or cities you know you don’t want to spend four years of your life. Move schools in your ideal regions/cities to the top of your list.

6. Will I like spending the next four years there?

Are you big city or small town? Do you need to be close to family or want to break out on your own? Is Greek life important? How did you feel when you visited the school?

Do you have any friends or family who went to a school and loved it? If they have similar likes and dislikes to you, their opinion is very valuable. Ask them why exactly they like the school. Are their reasons important to you?

I had a mother ask me this very question. Her daughter visited a school and wasn’t crazy about it. This year her friend is going there and loves it, which is making her reconsider the school. Typically we’re friends with people who are similar to us and have similar likes and dislikes. I think your friend’s experience is actually more pertinent than a visit, especially if it was a visit you took during the summer. It’s hard to get a feel for a school by going on a campus tour when most of the students are gone. Ask your friend why she loves it. Even better, visit your friend at school if you can. You might even be able to catch a class or two with her. Use this information to cross off the schools where you know you won’t enjoy your time. Make sure the top 10 schools on your list are places you’d like spending the next four years.

Action Steps:

  1. Start your list today!
  2. Research schools based on majors/careers.
  3. Use this wizard  to figure out how much student loan debt is reasonable for you. Use Payscale  to get median salaries for different careers.
  4. Talk to people! Your friends, family, and mentors can all help you to decide on your final list. Just remember to ask questions to find out why they like the schools they like.
  5. Narrow down your list to the top 8-10 schools.
  6. Comment or email me with any questions. If you are looking for resources to help you craft the best application to get you into those 8-10 schools, get my four-step Base Brainstorming Workbook and 7-page GPA Boot Camp for FREE!

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Jessica YeagerToday’s guest post is from Jessica Yeager, a grad of Harvard and MIT, and a tutor and college coach for high-achieving students and their parents at Impress the Ivies. You can get her Base Brainstorming Workbook & GPA Boot Camp for free.