Tag Archives: college planning

The Naked Roommate

And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College (Updated 3rd edition)

This week I’m reviewing another of Harlan Cohen’s books and can I just say one word: WOW! This book addresses everything you always wanted to know about college roommates but were afraid to ask…and so much more.

With graduation approaching, this book should be your #1 graduation gift for every college-bound teen. They should read it before heading off to college and carry it with them to campus. Harlan describes his book in the introduction:

It’s based on what today’s college students are honestly thinking, feeling, and doing on today’s college campuses. High schools do a great job of getting students into college, but once on campus, few students know what to expect. That’s what this book is all about–to help you expect the unexpected so that when the unexpected shows up, it won’t be so hard to handle.

The book is published in an easy to read, reference and remember format:

  • The Tip–Simple tips to address each specific subject: arriving on campus, residence halls,  roommates, finding friends, getting involved, Greek life, life inside the classroom, dating and relationships, sex, drinking, drugs, money, things not mentioned in the college brochure, and finally saying goodbye when you graduate.
  • The story behind the tip–These are actual college stories from actual students worded in such a way that your college-bound teen can relate to and understand.
  • The advice–After the tip and the story, comes the advice. This consists of experience (from Harlan and others) and often from college professionals weighing in on the problem.
  • The Bottom Line–Harlan summarizes what your college-bound teen needs to learn from the tip and puts it into simple, easy to remember language.
  • Harlan’s Tip Sheet–This appears at the end of each chapter offering resources, websites, summary tips and additional information.

This book is easy to read and packed with tips and information for the soon-to-be college student. Invest in this book if you’re a parent of a college-bound teen because college is all about Tip#1-Expect the Unexpected!

Parents–Can you handle the truth?

We all know that famous line from A Few Good Men, “You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” It’s hard sometimes to face the facts about the college environment and what your son or daughter will be exposed to while living on campus. Sometimes we would rather remain ignorant.

When my daughter and son were teenagers we used the term TMI (too much information). As they went off to college and the Marine Corps, I found myself using that term more often when they wanted to inform me of risks they had taken or went into detailed descriptions of their friend’s sex escapades (ewww…TMI!)

Too much information can be a bit overwhelming at times. But having the RIGHT information can and will ease your mind as your college-bound teen prepares for college and leaving home. In that vein, I’d like to share some helpful sites that I gathered while reading The Happiest Kid on Campus by Harlan Cohen. (Check out my review of the book and pick yourself up a copy).

Students with Disabilities

If your college-bound teen has a learning disability, you will want to know the procedures and programs on campus that give them the proper academic support. You can follow the link below from the Department of Education to learn about the programs and services that are provided in post-secondary education.
http://ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/transition.html

Safety

Every parent worries about their child’s safety when they go away to college. When you begin to consider specific colleges, it’s helpful to know about the crime statistics on campus. The link below will provide you with specific campus crime data regarding residence halls, disciplinary action, criminal offenses, and drug and liquor violations.
http://ope.ed.gov/security/

Hazing

I was confronted with hazing when my daughter pledged a sorority in college. It angered me and I didn’t know where to turn for help. If your teen is considering Greek life while in college, familiarize yourself with http://www.HazingPrevention.org. It will provide you with links to state laws, resources and vital information.

Sexually Transmitted Diseases

This is every parent’s nightmare but having this information will help your help your teen know the facts before they head off to college and a world where “hooking up” is commonplace among students. Follow the link below to learn about what Harlan Cohen calls “common college sex souvenirs”.
http://www.cdc.gov/std/default.htm

Alcohol Abuse

Binge drinking is as common on college campuses as eating and sleeping. The unfortunate fact is that even though your college-bound teen will enter campus as an underage adult, alcohol will be readily available. Take some time before they leave to talk to them about the dangers of alcohol. Here are some links that might help:
http://www.collegedrinkingprevention.gov
http://www.bacchusgamma.org

Sexual Assault and Harassment

Since we’ve established that sex on campus will happen, it stands to reason that assaults and harassment will also occur. Your teen needs to know BEFORE they move into the dorm what to do and how to respond if/when these situations arise. Follow the links below to gather information and talking points for your child and make them aware of the resources that are available to them.
http://www.nsvrc.org
http://www.sexualharassmentsupport.org
http://www.rainn.org

College websites

Spend some time on college websites. Read the student forums. Read the student newspaper. Check out the college pages on Facebook and follow them on Twitter. Learn all you can about the colleges your teen is considering so that you can help them make an informed decision when the time comes. In this instance, TMI does not apply!

Top 5 Ways to get OFF the Waiting List

In the life of a high school senior, it doesn’t get much more nerve wracking than the month of April. This is the time of year when high school seniors finally receive the news on which colleges have accepted or rejected them and they only have less than a month until May 1st, National Candidates Reply Date. Fat envelopes are good, thin ones are bad, but there are also the half-good/half-bad envelopes saying you are in the admissions purgatory known as the waiting list.

by Lars Leetaru-WSJ Online
Photo by Lars Leetaru-WSJ Online

Edward B. Fiske, author of the #1 bestselling Fiske Guide to Colleges states, “Colleges use waitlists because they are not sure how many of the applicants receiving fat envelopes will actually enroll. Waitlists are their safety valves.”

Fiske advises high school seniors who find themselves on the waitlist of the school of their choice to send a deposit to your first choice among colleges that did accept you to ensure you have a place to go. If you prefer to go to a school where you are on the waitlist, go on the offensive:

Top 5 Ways to Get Off the Wait List and Get Accepted to the College of Your Choice:

  1. Send a letter ASAP to the admissions director emphasizing your unyielding desire to attend. State specifically why you think the match is a good one and highlight new information.
  2. Call to see if you can arrange a campus interview. “Students who have been offered regular admission waitlist status are well advised to pay a visit by mid-April, perhaps with a set of recent grades in hand,” says Peter Van Buskirk, former Dean of Admissions at Franklin and Marshall.
  3. Send examples of impressive work. This is particularly relevant if you have an area of special talent or if you have produced new work of which you are especially proud.
  4. Ask a current teacher to write a recommendation highlighting your recent achievements. Ask teachers who wrote letters for you previously to send updates.
  5. Ask your guidance counselor to write or call and see that the admissions office is kept up to date with your grades and other achievements.

These are great tips for any college-bound teen who finds themselves on the wait list. My motto for this: it ain’t over till it’s over! In the future, I will be reviewing the Fiske Guide to Getting Into College.

"Helicopter" Parents

helicopter-parentWe’ve all heard the term: helicopter parents. There isn’t one of us alive that wants to have that title attached to our behavior. But a recent study shows that a high level of parental involvement correlates with a positive college experience. A new student poll, conducted by the College Board and The Art and Science Group, LLC stated:

College-bound high school seniors are generally satisfied with the current level of their parents’ involvement in the college search process. But nearly 30 percent want more, not less, parental involvement, a figure that jumps to over 40 percent among students with lower SAT scores and household incomes.

chart02

To some degree, these findings appear to defy recent media reporting and other anecdotal evidence about “helicopter parents,” in particular the perception of a rising level of intrusive and alarming behavior.

There is evidence that indicates that parents should take more, rather than less interest in their children’s education. The Harvard Family Research Project found that teens whose parents play an active role do better in school and are more likely to enroll in college. Many parents tend to be less active during middle and high school, however.

Should there be a healthy balance? Of course. Parents should respect the fact that their teens are maturing and growing toward independence. Teens need practice making their own decisions, the freedom to make mistakes, and the chance to learn about consequences.

As I’ve mentioned previously, a parent’s role should be that of a coach. You are there to provide structure, advice and encouragement. Work with your teen as a team and help them stay organized. But let them take the lead and own the process.

Read the complete study:

Student Poll

Take the “Helicopter Parents” quiz:

Quiz

Sleeping with Strangers




If your college-bound teen is heading off to dorm life in the fall (or you’re looking ahead to that day) here’s a great article about making living with an unknown roommate bearable. HEED this advice!

By David Replogle for The Real College Guide

Your random roommate is a total stranger who’ll sleep by your side and share your air for at least a semester. Here, how to make things (a little) less awkward.

Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to make it through freshman year shacked up with a stranger: your new roommate. Um, awkward. Want to reach out to your roomie lay down some laws — and hopefully the groundwork for a great relationship? Here’s a five-step plan to increase your odds of survival at the foundation of your school social life: your dorm room.

1. Make Contact
A proper introduction sets the tone of the relationship, and breaking the ice early gives you a head start on addressing more pressing issues (like who’s bringing the Xbox — see No. 3). So, once you get your roommate’s name and contact info, put it to good use by shooting him an e-mail or a Facebook friend request. If you’re feeling particularly brave, pick up the phone and dial those digits.

By the way, be careful not to jump to conclusions while stalking your roommate.  “Facebook is just a way of getting that initial impression of the person and taking the ease off the nervousness,” says rising junior Jasmine Laroche of the University of Pittsburgh. “Actually spending time with and getting to know your roommate is your best bet.”

2. Meet and Greet
Meeting up before school starts gives you the chance to make a casual but high-quality first impression. Plus, it makes things a lot less awkward on move-in day, when you’ll likely be towing your parents and breaking a sweat emptying your stuff out of the ol’ minivan. A pre-screening allows you to calm your nerves too, since it means you’ll have one more familiar face (and one less unknown factor) come fall. So, if you’re attending a state school and your roomie lives nearby, there’s no excuse not to get together. But don’t give up on meeting if you’re a beach bum in So Cal and your future bunk buddy lives in the deep woods of Maine. You don’t need to be majoring in rocket science to sync your summer travel schedules and meet up. Otherwise, there’s always video chat.

3. Set Ground Rules
First off, make sure the two of you have similar packing plans for stuff you’re going to share, like a TV, large rug or mini-fridge. “There’s so much stuff to bring that it’s easy not to be on the same page,” reflects Virginia Tech senior Valerie Carboni. After you figure out who’s bringing what, it’s time to lay down the law.

You should discuss each of your expectations about staying up and waking up, partying, having guests over, cleanliness and borrowing each other’s things. (These are the most common conflicts, but they might not be the only ones.) There is no better time than the present to voice your opinion or strike some compromises, even if it results in early head-butting. It’s better than letting issues build up later, which can lead to heated arguments and uncomfortable passive-aggression (and that really sucks).

4. Reach out (While You Branch out)
Roommates tend to spend a lot of time together early in the school year, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be the lone kid on campus if you and your roommate don’t hit it off. That said, many roommates grow apart after week one.

Regardless, be sure to show some empathy toward your roomie. At the end of the day, she will be the one you come home to and the first to notice when you are sick, stressed or heartbroken. “This is the person you live with and see every day,” says Carboni, “and even if you aren’t the best of friends, it’s still important to check in on someone.”

So, if your roommate needs a quick term paper edited or is crying for some impromptu relationship advice, grab a red pen or muster up your most genuine “It’s not you, it’s him.” It’s also nice to extend an invitation every now and then, even if you suspect the offer will be turned down (like when you’re headed out to a party and your roomie is decked out in pj’s and staring blankly at the computer screen). Hey, it’s the thought that counts.

5. Keep It Real
Embark on your roommate relationship with a positive attitude, but realize that not all random roommate couplings are going to end up BFF. And you don’t need to fake it. If you follow all the above steps and it turns out you’re still like oil and water, hey, it happens.

Meanwhile, keep in mind that this is only the beginning of an illustrious college career, and you’ve got plenty of time to forge new relationships. “Your roommate can turn out to be your best friend or just an acquaintance, but don’t measure your roommate experience to what college is going to be like,” Laroche points out. Bottom line? Just buckle up and enjoy the ride … er, mission.

Scholarships: A good reason to attend prom

This isn’t your typical prom dress or your typical fashion related competition. Get creative and you could win thousands of dollars in scholarships in two contests: Own Your Look Prom Contest 2010 AND Stuck at Prom.

stuck-at-promStuck at Prom participants are required to submit a photo of themselves attending their prom decked out in duct tape anytime from March 1 to June 7, 2010. Check out the website for complete rules, details and photos of past winners.own-your-look

JoAnn’s, Own Your Look Prom Contest began on January 15 and ends June 15, 2010. This contest requires an original prom dress (using a pattern is okay!) and accessory made with fabrics and other items from JoAnn’s. The student/prom goer (aged 14-19) entering the contest must be the one making the entry. Photos of the contestant in the dress are required.

Click the links below for full contest rules and details:

Own Your Look Prom Contest 2010

Stuck at Prom

The Happiest Kid on Campus…

…A Parents Guide to the Very Best College Experience (for you and your child!)

by Harlan Cohen, a bestselling author (The Naked Roommate), nationally syndicated advice columnist and professional speaker who has visited over 300 college campuses.

This is an advance review of Harlan’s new book scheduled to come out in May 2010.

I just finished reading an advance copy of The Happiest Kid on Campus: A Parent’s Guide to the Very Best College Experience (for you and your child!). It was like taking a trip down memory lane with both my kids and their college experiences. If only this book had been written eight years ago when I sent my daughter off to college, I might have avoided many sleepless nights, worried moments, and confusing dilemmas during those tumultuous four years. My favorite quote from the book: “Life (and college) is 90 percent amazing and 10 percent difficult.” It’s the 10 percent difficult that Harlan Cohen addresses in his book. And it’s that 10 percent difficult that ALL parents need to be prepared to deal with.

This book answers those nagging parental questions:

  • Will my child be safe?
  • How much should I be involved and where should I draw the line?
  • How do I help my child adapt to living away from home and getting along with others?
  • Is it OK to ask questions?
  • How much contact from home  is too much and how do I set boundaries?
  • What do I do when they call home with a crisis?
  • How do I talk to my child about sex, drugs, alcohol, academics, Greek life, roommates and getting involved?

Harlan uses tips and stories from students and parents to show us real-life college experiences. While doing that, he covers all the topics from the summer before college, to moving day, to the first few months, to parents weekends. He discusses controversial topics like drinking, sex, eating disorders, and even campus safety, offering parents direction and advice on how to discuss and handle them if and when they arise. He gets you up to speed on texting, Facebook and Twitter and discusses how to use them to stay informed and involved in your college student’s life without being intrusive.

On a personal note, while I was reading this book I was transported back to the early days of college when my daughter and I experienced so many of the college dilemmas Harlan discussed: overpacking for freshman year; dealing with a disagreeable and annoying roommate; living with her friends and regretting it; hazing during sorority rush; the freshman 15; struggling with certain classes and surviving; wanting to transfer because of a boyfriend; getting involved and finding her place. He addresses EVERY college dilemma with advice from his own experiences, other parents, students and college professionals.

If you’re a parent of a college-bound teen, you should pick up a copy of this book BEFORE your teen heads off to college. It will prepare you for their years in college and give you that peace of mind knowing that everything you are faced with is all part of the college experience. You’ll worry less, sleep more, and ensure that you and your child have an amazing college experience.

Top 5 Test Prep Sites

Your college-bound teen MUST do some sort of test prep. It will improve their scores and give them confidence when they take the test. Preparation and familiarization with the test and its formulas will give them an edge over the students who choose not to prepare.

Here are my recommendations for test prep sites:

elizabethonline

1. TutorsForTestPrep–Elizabeth writes a blog that gives some great tips and discusses the nuances of the tests. She takes the test herself every year and is familiar with its content and knows how to help your teen improve their scores. Read what Elizabeth said about her services:

Outsmarting the SAT

wordnerd

2. WordNerd–Sheldon walks your teen through practice tests, smart sets (words that go together), study roots (prefixes and suffixes) and gives a “nerd” word of the day. This is a good practice site to improve vocabulary. Read Sheldon’s advice on SAT prep:

Creating an SAT Study Plan

mindfish

3. MindFishYour teen can play an SAT test game to help them master skills and you can dialogue with test prep and admissions professionals and other interested parents.

collegeboardsattestprep

4. CollegeBoard SAT Test Prep–The College Boards FREE test prep site for the SAT with practice tests, question of the day and sample practice questions.

allenprep

5. AllenPrep–Get an Ipod/Itouch/Iphone App here for just $9.99 and your teen can use it to improve their SAT vocabulary. They also provide testing software and offer a 2-day FREE trial to check it out.

Information overload




Here’s a great article for your college-bound teen about STAYING ORGANIZED in college. This is one of my favorite topics for parent college coaches as well. It’s the only way to avoid feeling overwhelmed!

By Corey Bobco for The Real College Guide

Getting to school means … being slapped in the face with a semester’s worth of work. Stacks of syllabi have you overwhelmed? Breathe. We show you how to manage.

overloadYou’ve been on the college scene for a few weeks, having the time of your life and wondering what all the university hype is about. So far, all you’ve had to do for your grades’ sake is skim some course readings and listen to a few professors babble in the lecture hall. But then … BAM! After an enlightening series of classes one fine Monday, you realize you’ve got a biology exam and two 1,000-word essays on Homer and Joyce due — all by the end of the week.

Uh-huh. This scenario is all too common, even among seasoned students.
Sure, you can survive it, even if it means pulling a few all-nighters. But if you always let everything pile up until crunch time, your grades will eventually suffer. And so will you.

So how can you avoid epic battles with tests and deadlines so you don’t become a scholastic casualty? Stop stressing. Now. You can tackle time management and stay organized so your course work doesn’t get the better of you. Here’s how:

•    Stay on top of things! May sound like a no-brainer, but no kidding: If you don’t want schoolwork to pile up, you need to actively be aware of when it’s due. Pick up a portable planner — or if you’re computer-oriented, try an app like Google Calendar, which also conveniently syncs with your Gmail account — and copy the entire semester’s worth of assignments, exams and due dates into it from each class’s syllabus. And while we’re on the subject, be sure to carefully read all your syllabi. You may find sneaky stuff hidden in there, like “one full letter-grade drop for every unexcused absence” (true story). It’s better to know sooner rather than later.

•    Got notes? When you’re trying to figure out what’s crucial to know for a test or how to arrange course content into a viable essay, having good notes can be a real lifesaver, so pick up a few loose-leaf notebooks for jotting down info. We don’t recommend taking notes on your laptop — you risk getting distracted by the Internet and missing most of what’s said. Besides, paper provides a much more harmless way of keeping you entertained during idle moments (i.e., doodling).

•    Beating writer’s block When it comes to writing essays, getting those first couple of sentences down — or even just making an outline — can be a challenge, especially if it’s your first assignment. David Uskovich, a writing consultant at the University of Texas-Austin’s writing center stresses the importance of research: “It can put you in conversation with the material you’re trying to cover, which will help you make some connections so you’ll have something to start from when you actually sit down to write the paper.”

Freelance writer Lauren Brown, whose first young-adult novel is due out in the fall of 2010, offers this useful tip: “When I was in college at University of South Florida and had a paper due, there was nothing worse than staring at a blank computer screen and feeling like I had no thoughts in my head. The secret is to slowly condition your brain to start flowing by simply taking a few minutes to write via stream of consciousness. Just write down anything that comes to mind, even if you literally keep writing over and over, ‘Nothing is coming to mind.’ Eventually, your brain will warm up and more fluid sentences will emerge. After maybe 15 minutes or so of doing this, try again to start your paper. You’ll notice that you feel a bit more focused, way more relaxed, a little more creative and a lot less overwhelmed. Anytime you get stuck, just take a break and repeat this exercise.”

•    Outwit exams College tests come in many shapes and sizes, but as a general rule, liberal arts classes usually stick to short-answer and essay-oriented exams, while math and sciences often lean toward a multiple-choice format. For essay exams, it helps to find out beforehand from your professor or T.A. what the test will cover. It never hurts to ask them point-blank a couple of days before the test.

Third-year UT-Austin biology major Ben Cox points out that you can sometimes find many multiple-choice test questions from homework of previous years: “Math and science professors often take the basic idea of homework questions, even optional homework, and tweak only a few figures, leaving the concepts tested by the question intact.”

If you can get your hands on exams from previous semesters, these can also be helpful. Just ask around to find out who’s taken the class before you, or find out if your professor posts old exams on the course Web site. (Note: As long as you’re not memorizing answers, we don’t count this as cheating, but check out your school’s policy to avoid things like, duh, expulsion.)

“While the questions and even content might vary some from year to year, knowing the way your professors format their tests will do wonders for your preparedness,” says Cox.

So there you have it. Just by being organized and putting forth the effort to adequately prep for tests and assignments, you’ll be able to get more z’s … and more A’s — which is sure to put you on good terms with the parentals. And that always comes in handy, of course, whenever you want an “extra something.”

In the News: College Week Live's Spring Fair

collegeweekliveThis week, parents and college-bound teens can attend College Week Live’s FREE virtual college fair online. On March 24-25 from 10AM-10PM you can:

  • Meet hundreds of colleges live & pick the perfect university
  • Get admissions questions answered in real time
  • Hear expert advice on test prep and application essays
  • Discover new ways to pay for college
  • Video Chat With Students on 75+ College Campuses

If your schedule doesn’t permit you to attend, you can still log on and view the archived videos at your convenience. Make sure you and your student sign up and mark your calendars for two days of comprehensive college information gathering virtual events.