Parents want what’s best for their children. I’m sure you do. You want your student to succeed in life and if that path is college, you don’t want them to be saddled with college debt after they graduate. Entering the work force with debt puts strain on your student and their ability to live independently after college.
But with college costs rising it almost seems impossible to
attend without borrowing money to pay for it. At least that’s what you might
think; but with some smart planning and wise financial choices, I t can be done
and here’s how:
Know how much you are willing to pay
Before even starting the college search, you should know how
much you are willing to pay. Set a budget before your student starts looking at
colleges. If you know how much you are willing to pay, you can avoid going
over-budget on a college, even though it’s a college your student wants to
attend.
Have the money talk
After you know what you’re willing to pay, have the “money
talk” with your student. Discuss with them how much you are willing to pay for
college and how much you expect them to contribute. Do not (I repeat do not)
allow them to apply to any colleges beyond your financial reach unless your
student has been working toward and receiving scholarship awards. Do not count
on financial aid or merit aid to fill the gap when planning for college. If
your student applies and is offered admission to a college you cannot afford it
makes for a difficult conversation and a very disappointed student if you cannot
pay for the tuition.
Research individual college statistics
Before applying, research the financial
aid footprint of every single college on the list. How much aid do they
typically give? How much debt does the average student graduate with? Use their
net price calculator and determine what it will cost to attend there before
applying. If your student is offered admission, there will be no surprises and
disappointment if you do your due diligence before the application process
begins. Colleges offering small percentages of financial aid in the form of
scholarships and grant
Think outside the box
There are thousands of colleges in this country. Many
families make the mistake of not researching affordable
colleges before applying. Smaller private universities offer more generous
financial aid packages. Recognizable names and Ivy League colleges are not the
only schools offering a quality education. Don’t assume that a state university
is cheaper than a private college out of state. Look at the numbers, research
colleges, and think outside the box.
Consider community college
Two years at a community
college will save you and your student a substantial amount of money. After
completing the basics at a much lower cost, they can transfer to a four-year college
and graduate. Your student may also choose an associate’s degree in a technical
field and graduate from community college with a skill and a career. In the past,
community college has gotten a bad reputation from parents and students for
being “less than” a “real” college. But smart parents and students know the
education is the same at a much lower cost.
Apply for scholarships
Until your student graduates from college they should be
applying for scholarships. The sooner they begin, the better. There are scholarships
for all ages and if your student accumulates awards all throughout high
school and into college those awards will go a long way to help them graduate
without debt. There are resources to help
you and your student find and apply for scholarships—take advantage of them.
Get good grades
Scholarships and grants are disbursed by colleges based on merit.
Grades are a key factor colleges use to determine merit aid.
They use this aid to entice student applicants to accept their offers of
admission. Putting your student at the top of the applicant pool with good
grades stack the odds of merit aid in your favor. Believe it or not, a great
GPA results in more scholarship money than athletics. Use this to your
advantage.
Graduate in four years or less
You might be surprised to learn that most students take more
than 4 years to graduate from college. On average, a college
degree takes six years. That’s two years more of college costs, not to
mention two years of lost income. Plan to pay for four years and make a plan
for your student to stay on track.
Become a National Merit finalist
Your student doesn’t have to win a National Merit
scholarship to score some generous financial aid. All they have to do is become
a semi-finalist—and with a little study for the PSAT,
it’s entirely possible. Colleges who have money set aside for the finalists
will use merit aid to entice your student to attend: full tuition, room and
board, books and fees, laptops, study abroad and even spending money. They
might also offer automatic entrance into the honors college, the best housing
and priority registration until graduation.
Take AP exams or CLEP tests before college
It’s possible for your student to take AP or CLEP
exams and test out of freshman subjects. Your student could enter college
as a sophomore, cutting a whole year off the degree. For a small test fee, your
student can save thousands of dollars and time by taking advantage of these
tests.
With all these options available, your student does not have
to take on college debt to receive a quality education. With knowledge and hard
work, your student should be able to graduate college debt-free.
With a new year and a new decade beginning, it’s a good idea to evaluate goals and take stock of your progress. This is true with college planning and life in general. The easiest thing in the world is to say you’re going to do something. This is especially found when we suggest we’ll ‘do it tomorrow’. When we do that, we basically offset our need to complete a task or to even think about it, because having to do said task or start off from zero can seem stressful and worrying.
But the truth is that while the rumination is a bottomless pit, so is the satisfaction that comes from actually taking care of the tasks you plan for yourself. In fact, the art of staying on top of things and realizing your dreams, such as 2020 new year resolutions for example, is a satisfying journey without end. Once you complete something you gain that true sense of satisfaction, and you feel even more motivated to achieve something anew. The more you do this, the more the philosophy of ‘I will act now’ becomes a harmonious chorus in your mind rather than a grating shout.
With that in mind, we hope the following advice can help you curate this potential within yourself:
Find Something You Can Orient Yourself Towards
Like any vehicle, you’ll struggle to leave the driveway if you’re empty on fuel. The fuel that we’re talking about here doesn’t come in the form of a meal or an obligation, but in something you willingly submit yourself to, something you perceive as worth your time. Perhaps you know that losing weight is necessary if you’re to reduce the risk of health issues now you’re in your 30s. Maybe this can help you learn how to best run a Couch 2 5k or how to get over your fear of the gym. Nietzsche once said ‘he who has a why to live for can bear any how.’ Through this pursuit, you’ll be making good on that concept.
Take On A Challenge
Why not take on a challenge, or something that you may not otherwise have done? Maybe this could be as simple as taking a second language night course, or going up for a five-minute open mic comedy session at a local bar. Whatever makes you quake in your boots yet helps you realize a dream is often a good way forward. You’d be surprised just how much this can actualize your life and make every day feel important. Sometimes, you have to dive in the deep end to get things moving.
Plan Your Progress
Plan your progress going forward. Breaking down your goals for 2020 and noting them, step by step in Midori planners can help you correspond action to days. This in itself can give you a vital step up over your previous efforts, because when your plans are staring at you in black and white, it’s hard to refute you ever made them when struggling to get out of bed. Planning your progress can also help you see how far you’ve come – and that is not something to take for granted.
With this advice, you’re sure to apply the artful practice of making things happen in life.
When your child is applying to a competitive college, every single thing that goes on the application makes a big difference. Grades are obviously very important, and so is the college application essay, but there will be plenty of students that have good grades and a great essay. So, how do the colleges choose between applicants? If they can’t separate them based on their grades and essays, they will start to look for other things, like extracurricular activities. The things that your child does outside of their normal studies make a big difference because they demonstrate a lot of the skills that colleges are looking for.
If your child participates in certain extracurricular activities that develop a wide range of skills, that looks great on their college application. It is often the thing that separates them from the other applicants and lands them their place, so it’s very important. There are all sorts of things that they can do, but it’s important that they choose something that they actually like. A college admissions officer will be able to tell the difference between somebody that is engaging in activities for their application alone, and somebody that is passionate about them.
If your child is not currently engaged in any extracurricular activities, these are some of the things that look great on college applications.
Student Government
Student government is a great thing to get involved with if your child has any interest in politics or even if they want more of a say in how their school is run. Colleges love it because it demonstrates a few very important qualities. Firstly, it shows that you are a good leader and the other students in your school look up to you as somebody that can be relied upon. Secondly, it shows that you are responsible and capable because you are trusted with important issues. Colleges also like students that are willing to engage with the student community and get involved in events that promote the college, so student government is a great thing for your child to put on their applications.
Educational Summer Camps
Educational summer camps are a great way for students to learn new skills and boost their existing knowledge so they can improve their grades. There are some great camps that teach very desirable skills, like Coder Kids, for example, which teaches computer coding skills. If your child attends these educational summer camps, it shows colleges that they are dedicated to their education and they are willing to put in the hard work. It will also help them to improve their grades, especially if there are certain subjects that they are struggling with.
Academic Teams And Clubs
Academic teams and clubs are another great way for students to show their dedication to education, especially if they enter competitions. It shows that where academic pursuits are concerned, that student is willing to rise to the challenge and push themselves so they can improve. It also demonstrates a competitive spirit which a lot of colleges like. If your child is particularly interested in a certain subject and they excel at it, you should see if the school has any teams or clubs that they can attend. Math and science clubs are the most popular, but there are teams for most academic subjects. If there is not one available, they should consider starting one of their own because this also demonstrates good organizational and leadership skills.
The Debate Team
The debate team has always been a very popular among extracurricular activities for students to put on their college applications. Being able to form a coherent argument is an important skill for college students when they are writing essays or giving presentations on a subject. Being a member of the debate team shows that you have the critical thinking skills to weigh up both sides of an argument and draw conclusions. It also demonstrates that you have good public speaking skills and you can perform under pressure. Their speaking skills are very beneficial in a classroom setting because they will encourage discussion among their classmates and improve the learning environment. People on the debate team are also more likely to have a good understanding of current events.
Internships
The thing that a lot of college students lack is work experience. This is an issue when they graduate and start looking for jobs because they do not have much real world experience. Colleges want as many of their students to graduate and get good jobs afterward because it reflects well on them, which is why they like applications that have obtained an internship. It also shows that you have the general skills that people need in the workforce like organisation, time management, and people skills. It also shows a level of maturity that a lot of students won’t have.
Volunteer Work
Volunteer work is a great way to give back to the local community and meet a lot of interesting people at the same time. It’s also great for developing new skills, and colleges love to see it on applications. In fact, a lot of the best schools consider it a must-have for any successful applicants. The best way to find volunteering opportunities for your child is to think about their existing hobbies and how they could incorporate them in a volunteering capacity. For example, if they are passionate about sports they could coach a local kids team. If they love animals, local shelters are always looking for people to help out. Volunteer work is only beneficial if it’s something that they really care about, so make sure that they find something that is a good fit.
A Part Time Job
Some applicants worry that their part time job doesn’t leave them enough time for extracurriculars and that will hurt their application, but that isn’t the case at all. Colleges recognize that some students need to work to help out their family so it won’t work against you. Having a part time job also teaches you a lot of the desirable skills that colleges look for.
If your child is in the process of preparing a college application, these extracurricular activities will be a huge help.
Want to know how much a college will cost you? Look on their website. The tuition, room and board is most likely clearly listed. But is that all it will cost you? If you have or had a student in college, as I did, you know that the tuition, room and board are just the beginning. There are hidden fees you might not see.
By the time you add on lab fees, student fees, dorm damage deposits, technology fees, parking and car registration, activity fees, and the elusive “miscellaneous” fees, you will add from $1000-$5000 in fees to your college bill, depending on the college.
Added to these, you can tack on the cost of books, Greek life, meal plans, and dorm, computer or health insurance to total college costs. And don’t forget travel expenses if your student chooses to attend a college far from home.
In an article in Fortune Magazine, one parent voiced her frustration with the lack of transparency related to college costs:
The fees are typically provided by the college’s bursar’s office, if requested, or listed in various places on a university’s website—but they aren’t always easy to find, says Michelle Gillespy-Goldstein, whose daughter attends the University of Colorado at Boulder.
“The lack of transparency is frustrating,” Gillespy-Goldstein says. “They tell you so many things when they’re recruiting you, but they fail to mention that piece.”
Before choosing a college, parents and students should ask for a detailed listing of additional fees involved if they aren’t listed on the website. In addition, talk to current students on the tour and ask about hidden costs they have encountered while at college.
Why do this? You don’t want any surprises when the first bill arrives.
I’m not a fan of college rankings. Most are bought and paid for by the colleges and always have the Ivies at the top of the lists. You should never judge a college solely on its ranking, but there is one non-profit organization that ranks colleges based on the economic value added as being the improvement in earnings and employability of graduates; measured against the total cost of the education. Quite simply, colleges are ranked on their ROI (return on investment) by the Nonprofit Educate to Career.
Of course, your student won’t base their college choice solely on this information, but these rankings can help you and your student determine the value of your educational investment.
ETC President and founder Michael R. Havis states:
“Transparency and value in higher education is paramount – parents are telling us. Accordingly, we rank colleges by the outcomes of their graduates – including jobs and salaries, graduation rates, student loan payback rates, and other factors. ETC uses sophisticated statistical techniques to control for the quality of the students (we calculate the earnings value of high SAT scores and correctively weight our model for that value). Other rankings show a correlation between the SAT/ACT scores that a school accepts and the rank of the schools. They’re really ranking the students accepted by the colleges – while we are truly ranking colleges. Also, unlike other rankings – we do not accept any data from the colleges themselves, choosing to compile our data from only publicly available sources for the sake of transparency and impartiality”.
Some of the metrics used in calculating the ETC College Rankings Index are:
Percentage of graduates employed in occupations which utilize their field of study
Average salary earned by recent graduates, by school for each major category (adjusted for region, occupation and other variables)
Percentage of persons employed within one year of graduation
Major, referenced against similarly situated students at other institutions
Graduation rate and the number of years to graduate
Tuition- in state, net cost
Loan default rates
Other proprietary input variables which norm students to a common standard for each school and major
The ETC College Rankings Index is the standard for ranking colleges based on factors that families actually care about – ROI. Click the link to view the 2020 ETC College Rankings Index!
If you’re going to rely on rankings to make your college choice, ETC rankings are the ones to use because they are solely based on statistical data and not information the colleges provide.
A few years ago I wrote this article for TeenLife online. With school starting and students beginning their college lists during junior year and finalizing the list at the start of senior year, this advice is particularly timely.
Most teens will tell you that making the college list is one of the most stressful times in their life. It’s a process that begins with a little bit of knowing what you like, what your goals are, and that intuition that every student takes to the table. Knowing yourself, your likes, and your dislikes will help you in the process.
There’s a theory among teens and many parents, which says, “The more colleges you apply to, the better your chances.” In theory it makes sense, but there are other things to consider besides hedging your bets with numbers.
Three Considerations When Applying to College
1. The Cost
College applications can be time-consuming and pricey, costing as much as $100 per application, unless you get the fees waived by the school or an organization. Ten schools at $100 each is $1,000. These application fees are non-refundable and aren’t applied toward your total cost of attendance. Although this should not be the only factor in determining the number of applications submitted, it should be considered.
2. The Time
Applying to college takes a tremendous amount of time, and each college has their own specific application criteria. The average college application usually takes about two hours to complete, not including writing the essay. Common sense dictates that the more applications you have to complete and collate, the less time you will spend on each individual application. The applications are your way of communicating who you are to a college—it’s not the time to spread yourself thin to rack up the numbers.
3. Quality vs. Quantity
Allen Grove, an admissions expert in the About.com College Admissions Guide, thinks it’s a little ridiculous when students apply to a dozen or more colleges. He can’t imagine how the student visited all those campuses, in addition to doing extensive research, and then decided that many schools were good matches.
“You see students who apply to every single Ivy League,” Grove says. “I just have to wonder if the student who is going to like Columbia (in New York City) is really going to like Dartmouth (located in a town of around 11,000 people). I find that unlikely, so I often think students who are sending out that many applications haven’t done their research.”
How Many is Too Many?
Most admissions officers generally advise students to apply to about five to seven colleges, but no more than 10. That includes a couple of safety schools (schools you’ll no doubt get into), a couple of match schools (schools you meet the requirements for), and a couple of reach schools (schools that are less likely to accept you).
In a Huffington Post article, Maura Kastberg, Executive Director of Student Services of RSC Your College Prep Expert, concurs with that advice. “There may be 20 colleges you want to attend, or you could have your heart set on just one. When you are applying to college, be practical. Most students should apply to somewhere between five to seven colleges. There are no guarantees that you will be accepted to the school you desire, but you should have a good idea about your chances of admission to each school.”
What Are the Criteria?
If you’ve done a thoughtful job when compiling your list, you should be able to answer the following questions (provided by Carolyn Lawrence of AdmissionsAdvice.com and contributing author to the College Admission Book blog): (http://collegeadmissionbook.com/blog/how-many-colleges-should-students-apply)
1. Can I explain why all of the colleges on my list are right for me?
If your answers to this question are superficial—such as rankings, prestige, location, or a friend’s suggestion—it’s likely your list is too long. Before you add any college to your list, you should be able to explain how the college aligns with the things you personally need to be happy and successful in college.
2. Will I have enough time and energy to put my best effort into every application?
Even the simplest applications require time and effort. Can you really handle the work involved in completing 15 or 20 applications? Be honest with yourself. It’s better to do an outstanding job on fewer applications than to do a so-so job on too many.
3. Do I love my “safe bets” as much as I love my “reaches?”
Build your college list from the bottom up; fall in love with the schools that are most likely to love you in return before you add colleges that are less likely to admit you. If you do, you’re apt to find that you really don’t need to apply to as many colleges as you think you do. Finally, don’t let fear sway you into panic mode.If you’ve carefully thought about the reasons why every college is on your list, and do your best job with each application, you’ll end up with great choices!
Even with all the right information, facts, and figures in place, choosing a college is more than just a list on a piece of paper. Most students will tell you that they just “knew” when they set foot on campus they knew it was right for them.
In an article for The New York Times, Jordanna Suriani, an admissions counselor at Ramapo College of New Jersey, writes that students who apply to several colleges because they’re undecided are doing themselves a disfavor come April when it’s time to make a decision. Once you get that acceptance letter, you have even less time to make a choice.
Ms. Suriani advises, “Figure out what you need and want now, and apply to schools which offer you most, if not all of it. Forget about trying to get as many acceptances as possible to places that don’t speak to you. Trust me. Come April, you’ll be glad you did.”
Have you ever heard someone say, “College is a waste of time and money”? Or, “There’s no way I could afford to go to college”? These are some common college myths that many people believe to be true. But the reality is that neither of these statements is true.
Following are some common myths about college, examining the
reality of each of them:
Myth #1: College is a waste of time and money.
College is only a waste of time and money if you waste your time
and your money. Choose the right college at the right price and you will recoup
your investment ten-fold. Choose the wrong college and incur a tremendous
amount of debt and the myth could become a reality. Waste your time drinking
and partying without devoting time to academics and that tuition money could
fly out the window.
Myth #2: There’s no way I could afford to go to college.
Many students and parents believe that financial aid is only for the extremely poor or highly gifted students. That’s simply not true. Everyone qualifies for some form of financial aid and there is an affordable college solution for everyone. Community college is an affordable option. Winning scholarships can decrease your college costs as well. Working during college can also help defer some of the costs. If college is your dream, there is a way to finance it.
Myth #3: The college with the lowest price is the most affordable.
This is not necessarily true. Colleges with high sticker prices
often give the most financial aid based on alumni contributions and generous
donors. After taking financial aid into consideration, a seemingly more
expensive college may be more affordable than one with a lower sticker price.
Myth #4: The only good degree comes from a 4-year college.
Nothing could be further from the truth. There are many satisfying
and good paying jobs that require 2-year or technical degrees. If those type of
careers interest you, then you should not discount that type of education.
Getting the degree you need for the career you want is more important than
graduating from a 4-year college.
Myth #5: Small colleges offer limited opportunities.
The size of a college isn’t enough to make a complete judgment. Small colleges and large universities all offer unique opportunities for the students who are looking for that perfect fit. The philosophy and vision of the college and its leadership is much more important that the size of the student body or campus.
Don’t believe everything people say about college. Do your own
research and evaluate using the information you gather. Separate the myths from
the realities.
It’s a jungle out there–cluttered with all kinds of college advice. How does a parent hack through the massive amounts of advice and find what they need with confidence? It’s not easy. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of college help websites, Facebook groups, YouTube channels and more offering paid and unpaid advice about college.
There are five experts I turn to when I need added advice about all things college:
Debbie Schwartz-admissions/financial aid
Debbie Schwartz founded Road2College in 2016 to educate families about college admissions and empower smarter college financial decisions. Her facebook group has a huge following with parents and experts sharing advice about paying for college and finding colleges with the best merit aid.
With all the scholarship search sites and information out there, you need someone to help your student WIN the scholarships they are eligible for. Monica fits that bill. She successfully helped her son graduate debt-free with $100,000 worth of scholarships by using her unique method of packaging the scholarship application. She knows her stuff and she knows what you need to know to make the scholarship application process successful.
Perhaps the most complicated aspect of the college application process is financial aid. Jodi has experience in this area from working in a college’s financial aid department. She has advice related to the FAFSA, student loans, financing college and helping your student budget for college. If you have a financial aid question, Jodi knows the answer.
I love Ethan’s information because he knows what he is talking about and much of it is free to anyone who takes the time to browse his website. He offers samples of essays, tips for writing them, brainstorming ideas and more. He also provides personalized help with the essay and web training for students as well. You can’t go wrong by using Ethan’s expertise and he even has a “pay what you can afford” option for his seminars. What could be better?
If you have a learning disabled student or simply a student who can’t seem to focus on preparing for standardized tests, Jenn is the expert. Her unique method of coaching not only helps prepare your student for the test, but she helps them learn study habits to help with more than test prep. Jenn has the training and the experience to help your student do their best on any of the standardized tests. Plus, she’s a Duke alumini and proud of it!
Disclaimer: I don’t receive any fee or commission for recommending these experts. These are simply my own “go to” experts when I have a question or need to collaborate in any of these areas of college prep. I trust them implicitly and you can too!
When parents and students enter the college-bound process,
issues arise. It’s the inevitable clash of what parents think is best for their
kids, and what the kids want. Over the past 18 years the clashes have been over
such things as food, friends and entertainment choices. As college approaches,
the parent-student conflict intensifies.
Following are six areas that typically cause conflict along with some advice on how to handle it and work toward a compromise.
1. Junior college vs
4-year college
Parents often approach the college prep process from a
financial standpoint; students do. They make their decisions based on all types
of criteria that might not seem logical to parents: location, campus
activities, the look of the campus, friends, and even popularity of the college
with their peers. While those aren’t necessarily the best criteria, they should
play into their final decisions.
Here are just a few questions to consider:
Would a
4-year college be better for your student?
If your student is independent and knows
what he wants, a 4-year college might indeed be the best choice. Students who
are focused and are ready to pursue a specific major can benefit from attending
a 4-year college starting with their freshman year.
Could you
justify a 4-year college if it was more affordable?
Although junior college is more affordable
based on cost for credit hours, there are other factors to consider. For
instance, scholarships are more readily available to incoming freshmen than to
transfer students. Financial aid awards could be enough to offset the higher
tuition fees.
Does your student understand the benefits of junior college?
Perhaps the greatest benefit of attending a
junior college is getting the basics out of the way, especially if they are
unsure about a major. The financial benefits can be great as well, especially
if the student lives at home and works while attending.
Is it possible to reach a compromise?
Talk with your student and make an effort to
understand their reasons for wanting to attend a 4-year college. Be open to the
possibility. Explain your concerns about cost and going to college without a
decided major. A compromise might be for them to take courses over the summer
before college and get a few of the basics out of the way.
2. A profitable major
vs a major that embraces their passions
Parents think logically—they want their kids to graduate and
be able to secure a job that pays well and has future career advancement
possibilities. While there is nothing wrong with that line of thinking, their
kids want to study something that interests them.
Have you considered these realities?
Your
child would be more likely to embrace college if he has a passion for what he
is studying.
Statistics show that nearly half of all
college students drop out before receiving a degree. If your student is
pursuing something he is passionate about, the likelihood of him sticking it
out for 4 years is much higher than if he is pursuing a major that doesn’t
interest him simply because he will be more employable after graduation.
There are
lucrative majors that embrace all areas of interest and could be a good
compromise.
Investigate majors and research the ones
that have a good rate of return. Encourage your child to look at the degree
plans and perhaps add a minor to their degree embracing their passions. Some
colleges even allow students to create their own degree plans, choosing courses
that interest them and pertain to their areas of study.
Those who
are happiest in life have careers that they are passionate about.
Of course you want your child to be
successful and be able to make a living. But even though they get a job after
graduation that pays well, it doesn’t guarantee they will stick with it,
especially if it is not something they are passionate about.
Explaining
the consequences of choosing a major that’s unemployable might help your child
understand why you are concerned.
Graduating with debt and being unemployable
is a big concern for parents. But your student may not understand the
consequences of their decision. Its four years down the road and all they see
is dollar signs because they have a college degree. Encourage them to do some
research on the major they are considering and the expected salary and hiring
potential after graduation. It just might open their eyes and help them move
toward a more logical major.
3. Extracurricular
activities vs free time
Parents look at the big picture. Students focus on the “here
and now”. It’s hard for teenagers to comprehend the importance of proper
planning and preparation. They want to enjoy high school and not be pressed day
in and day out to focus on the future. It’s a delicate balance between applying
themselves, managing their time and enjoying their free time.
With a few simple tactics you and your teen should be able
to reach a compromise:
Set
aside time each day to work on college related activities.
Parents who are over achievers expect the
same from their student. But all work and no play makes for a very stressed out
teenager. Make a plan with them to spend x amount of time each day on
college-related activities. Once they complete their daily tasks, you will feel
better about letting them have some free time.
Encourage
your teen to focus on one activity throughout high school.
Many parents think that piling on the
extracurriculars during high school will impress college admissions officers.
But it’s not entirely true. Colleges are looking for focused applicants. They
are much more impressed with a student who has devoted four years in high
school to one particular activity than one who has piled them on just to
impress. Consistency is more appealing than numbers.
Allow
your teen time to have fun while helping them to find balance.
Teaching your teen to balance their time
will go a long way in helping them to manage their time in college. Students
who know how to keep a balance between studying and social activities do much
better in a college environment. Help them prioritize their activities.
Work with
them to establish goals and the steps needed to reach them.
Before they leave for college, students need
to know how to set goals and how to take steps to fulfill them. Help them make
a list of goals, both short term and long term, and encourage them to evaluate
those goals on a regular basis adjusting their time to stay on track.
4. Hand holding vs a
quest for independence
Perhaps the most difficult part of parenting a college-bound
teen is when to help and when to let them take the reins. It’s hard because for
the past 18 years we have been in control. Relinquishing control over such a
critical process in their life is harder than you might imagine. Looking at the
process from the college’s standpoint, the student needs to own the process.
They will be the one going to college and they should be the one making the
decisions. But you can certainly guide, encourage and offer help when asked.
Parents can help with
these tasks:
Staying organized-keeping track of deadlines and test dates.
Explaining the financial plan-discuss what you will pay and what you expect them to pay toward college.
Providing documents as needed, especially concerning financial aid.
Offering advice about college choices-offer advice but don’t dictate choices based on your preferences.
Accompanying them on college visits- listen to their likes and dislikes afterwards while staying objective.
Providing tutoring help if needed.
Help with studying for standardized tests.
Guide them with the final decision helping them take into account financial aid awards
Help with locating scholarships.
Parents should let
their student take the lead with these tasks:
Compiling a list of college choices
Talking during college visits and interviews
Communicating with colleges via email, social media, and telephone
Gathering letters of recommendation
Applying for scholarships
Completing the application
Completing the FAFSA
Making the final decision
5. Gap year vs going
straight to college
Parents cringe when their teens bring up the gap year. The
concept seems like procrastination and parents fear that once out of school,
the student may never go to college at all. Taking a year off to lie around and
do nothing is never an acceptable option. But taking a year off with a focused
purpose might be what’s best for your teen.
Before you put your foot down and forbid them to do this,
consider the reasons a gap year might be beneficial:
They
could use the time to pursue career interests.
A gap year could be the perfect time for
your student to learn more about specific careers that would help them choose a
major. Internships and apprenticeships during the year could provide them with
more information about the types of education needed and the specific degree
plan best suited to their chosen career.
They
could take the time to travel and work abroad.
Taking a year off to travel and work abroad
can be beneficial when they do attend college. Being exposed to different
cultures and getting to see the world helps them in their future careers. There
are many programs
that offer students the opportunity to work while abroad and some that offer
them the opportunity to volunteer for room and board. Scholarships are also
available as well.
They
could simply use the time to mature and gain focus.
Many high school graduates simply aren’t
mature and focused enough to attend college. Taking a year off means a year to
grow and mature. But it should never be used to sit around the house, play
video games, and hang out with friends. A gap year, to help with maturity and
focus, should always include a plan such as working part-time while taking a
few courses at the local community college.
Work full
time to save money for college.
For many students, working full time for a
year will help them save money for college expenses. It’s definitely something
to consider, especially if this money would be used to avoid taking out student
loans.
Parents should understand that college right after high school is not the best path for every teen. There are other alternatives, even ones that could include taking a course or two at a community college. The most important role for parents is to help their teenager find a path to success.
6. Considering alternatives to college
In a recent article I wrote for Collegiate Parent, Alternatives to Traditional College, I explained that not every student is meant to take the 4-year college path:
“When my son was a senior in high school, he had no idea what he wanted to do after graduation. College seemed out of reach and of very little interest since he coasted through high school on the bare minimum of effort. His involvement in NJROTC (Navy Junior Reserve Officers Training Corps) in high school led him toward the military option. When he left for boot camp after graduation, he was happy with his decision to avoid the traditional college route.
My daughter, on the other hand, knew she wanted to go to college and where she wanted to go. When she graduated and left for college in the fall, she was content with her decision and looked forward to four years of education.
Each of my children chose a different path. If I had forced my son to attend college it would have ended badly. If I had pressured my daughter to join the military, it would have been a disaster. But since I let them decide for themselves and didn’t push them in any one direction, they found the paths that were right for them.”
While a college degree is an impressive achievement and has undisputed value, it’s not for everyone. There are many meaningful paths after high school graduation that don’t include a traditional four-year college experience. If your student is vacillating about going to college, or is currently in college but regrets the decision, don’t panic. Your student may need to follow one of these alternative paths.
Parents and teens take on new roles during the college prep
process. The parents are attempting to let go and trust that the decisions made
will be the best ones. The teens are attempting to exert their independence and
make their own decisions. As senior year progresses, teens should move toward
independence and parents should relinquish control and trust their teens to act
as they have been taught over the last 18 years. It’s not easy, but the ideal
situation is parents guiding their teens to become independent, self-advocating
adults.
The National Center for Education Statistics requisitioned a study that followed the attainment and persistence rates of a nationally representative sample of 19,000 American students, following them over the past six years.
The report found that within six years of enrollment:
35
percent of students had not received any type of degree and were no longer
enrolled at any institution
46
percent of students who initially enrolled in two-year institutions did not
receive any type of degree and were no longer enrolled at any institution
50
percent of students who enrolled in a four-year college did not attain a degree
from that college
These statistics show that there is a significant amount of students who enter college and do not attain a degree. What can be done to assure that you don’t become one of those college dropout statistics?
1. Research
colleges and majors before applying—It’s just plain smart to do the
research and know why and where you want to go to college. Refine your list of
choices to include the colleges that offer the academic program that suits your
interests and the college setting and faculty that you feel most comfortable
with and could see yourself flourishing in that environment.
2. Study the
cost of attendance and know your financial aid options—Before you choose a
college, make sure you can pay for it and that you’re comfortable with repaying
any loans you secure to finance it. Verify that your scholarships will be
available for the course of your enrollment and what requirements need to be
met to keep them. Do some calculations that show you the true cost of
attendance using college cost calculators.
3. Find the “perfect fit” college—If you feel like you fit at the college you are attending, you will be more likely to stay and complete your degree. That perfect fit means that you want to be there AND the college values you and wants you there as well.
4. Be invested
in the process—If college is your goal, you need to be invested in the
process. Contribute to the education financially and you will be more likely to
stay invested and complete the process. Going just for the sake of going or
because you think it’s what you are supposed to do will not keep you there.
5. Be realistic
about obstacles and get help if necessary—College, like life, will have its
own set of obstacles. When you encounter them, get help. Seek advice from a
mentor or another student. Get tutoring if you find you’re struggling with your
classes. Speak with a professor if you need clarification or assistance on
projects. Use your RA (Resident Assistant) to help resolve roommate conflicts.
Before you make such a
large investment, the wise consumer will do the research and be realistic about
what is required to finance the education, while admitting that you will face
obstacles along the way.
