What is your student’s college deal-breaker? My daughter’s college deal-breaker had nothing to do with academics or college rankings. From the time she was small, she wanted to go to college in Boston. Coming from Texas, that was a bit of a surprise–especially since she had never visited Boston.
But when college decision time came around, Bentley College beat out SMU because of location. My son’s college deal-breaker came when a buddy of his in the Marine Corps told him a college in Texas had “hot chicks” and a party school reputation. Perhaps neither was the best criteria to base this decision, but they demonstrate this fact: emotion plays a factor in choosing a college.
Before you think I’m advocating “heads to the grindstone” this summer, rest assured these activities will not consume your or your student’s summer months. What this summer college prep will do is prepare your student for the upcoming school year and help him enter the next phase of his education thinking and planning for college.
The summer before middle school
Entering middle school is a huge transition for students. They go from one classroom to multiple classrooms, lockers, multiple teachers, and more homework. The summer before your student begins middle school is the perfect time to begin preparation for the future. Although it might seem premature to start thinking about college, it’s never too early. Your child needs a strong middle school foundation in order to take the high school courses that colleges expect of a college-bound student.
For a list of 10 tips for soon-to-be middle school parents, click here.
Summer is here and the last thing you probably want to hear about is college prep. Summer is supposed to be a time for fun, relaxation and a break from academics. But what if I told you that you can kill two birds with one stone: have fun and improve your college chances? Believe it or not, it’s possible through a variety of teen summer programs and strategies to use the summer to enhance your high school resume.
Find something you love and volunteer
You don’t have to travel abroad to do community service and it doesn’t have to be a chore. Find something you are passionate about and spend the summer doing it. Are you interested in construction? Work for Habitat for Humanity. Do politics interest you? Work on a local political campaign. Are you concerned about the environment? Help with local environmental cleanup projects. VolunteerMatch helps you to find just the right activity that suits your interests.
Start a charity or a campaign
It’s not work if it’s something you love. Think outside the box. Gather used books for nursing homes and recruit volunteers to read to them. Create activity books for children in hospitals and deliver them. Gather used test prep books and donate them to local libraries. The possibilities are endless. Need some ideas? DoSomething.org can get you started.
Work on your social media profile
You’re going to be online anyway. Why not clean up your profiles? Colleges look at social media profiles when reviewing applicants. Boost your presence online by creating your very own personal website to brag about your achievements and your passions. If you’re an arts kids, social media could help you find an arts audience. While you’re at it, follow some colleges on any number of social media channels to learn more about them.
Most parents aren’t going to be all that hands-on with the kind of living environment that their kid makes for themselves while they’re out at college. However, if they’re looking to study more effectively, then it’s important to realize just how crucial their surroundings are for that. Here are a few tips to help them create an environment much better suited to their aims.
A comfortable place to study is key
First of all, you need to make sure those physical needs are taken care of. If studying involves poring over the books or working at the PC on a desk, then you have to make sure that can be done comfortably. Look at some of the ergonomic chairs at Chair Office that you could potentially invest in. Make sure there’s plenty of lighting to contrast any screen lights to prevent eyestrain, too.
As parents, we all want the best for our children’s education. That’s why we often spend a fair amount of time selecting the right school based on everything from school table ratings to student testimonials. Yet, after these initial attempts to get schooling right, it’s surprising how many parents sit back and assume that their children will go on to flourish.
Unfortunately, as many parents go on to realise, not all children are created equal – a school situation that’s ideal for one could well hold another very much at the back of the class. In this respect, it doesn’t matter how highly rated or competitive your school of choice; the chances are that outside help from an English tutor or similar would still benefit your child. Far from being a sign that you made the wrong schooling choice, this is simply a testament to the different ways in which children learn and can fast help your child get back on track if you act quickly.
Here, we’re going to help you do just that by considering a few of the most obvious signs that your child could benefit from outside assistance like this.
We can forget how much of an impact we have on our children. When it comes to getting ready for college, we may think that our job is very simple: to ensure that our children study. But if we provide the wrong environment or we don’t enforce it the right way, this will have a more devastating impact on their academics than we realized. To make sure our children are studying effectively, we’ve got to make sure the environment is effective so their frame of mind is ready for study. How can you make the environment and the mindset work together?
Minimizing External Stresses
We all have an inherent need to procrastinate on occasion. If you have spent a long time trying to get your children to study and were met with resistance every step of the way, it’s hardly a surprise that when they need to knuckle down and study, they will look for any reason to avoid it. Even something that is not their responsibility can be the perfect excuse. It’s about making sure that they have a conducive study area, but this means that you need to realize the impact of a perfect study area.
By creating an environment that is not too hot, not too cold, not too bright, and not too noisy is crucial. This means making sure everything is working as it should. For example, something as noisy as the air conditioning can be a distraction and if it’s not working properly, the environment will be completely uncomfortable, and there are plenty of 24 hour AC service providers that can help people. It’s about getting all those little things correct.
For decades, it’s been widely accepted that applying to college is a hard, stressful and time-consuming process. Students can easily spend months on university preparation and the application process, as well as thousands of dollars in application fees. Parents aren’t always sure which universities are the best fit for their students’ needs and qualifications. The anxiety is real, and when students receive rejection letters, it can be crushing.
There are over 4000 four-year colleges in the United States and another 1900 community colleges. Choosing a college can be overwhelming if you don’t narrow down the choices with this simple list of basic criteria. Once you’ve narrowed down the college list, you can get more selective and specific with your final choices.
Here is a list of 10 choice criteria to consider:
Your study preferences—Are they more comfortable in a structured class or do you excel doing independent study? Do you require academic challenge or prefer in-class time with little or no additional study?
Money—Your budget plays a huge factor in the decision process. If your budget is tight, will you consider student loans? And if so, will an expensive private university be worth the debt?
Size—Do you want small class size or does it matter? Does being part of a large student body appeal to you or would they prefer a small college atmosphere?
Location—Do you want to go away to college or stay close by so you can live at home? Are you looking for a cultural experience that a big city offers or a down home experience provided by a small town college?
Extracurriculars—Are you set on joining a sorority or a fraternity? Are these offered at the colleges you are considering? Are there other activities that you feel are crucial to having a positive college experience (i.e. working on a campus newspaper, participating in intramural sports, studying abroad)?
Academics—Is there a specific major you are interested in or will a liberal arts degree do? Not every university offers the same academic disciplines.
Career focus—Do you want to study the culinary arts or fashion design? Consider a school that offers these types of specialized degrees.
Sports—Does the school have a huge sports program or do sports play little impact in your decision?
Competitive vs Non-competitive—Do you have the resume that will ensure acceptance in a competitive college like Stanford or Penn State? Or do you have a strong academic showing that would send you to the top of the list at a non-competitive college and qualify you for a full scholarship?
Specialized programs—Do you want to work in the stock market? Does the school offer a trading room? What about internships, undergraduate research, service learning, and even specialized senior capstone projects (integrating and synthesizing what you have learned).
Juniors should be focusing on college visits and start working on their list. Seniors should review this list and prepare to start their college applications.
It’s hard. I know. I’ve been there. You want your student to have the BEST education available. You want them to want it as much as you do. You see them making some choices that you know they will regret. As hard as you try, you find yourself pressuring them to make the right choice and the battle lines are drawn. They dig their heels in. You dig your heels in. And the tug of war begins.
What’s a parent to do when you feel your college-bound teens are making the wrong choices related to college? Take a deep breath and read these examples (along with my suggestions). Parenting for college can and probably will be a struggle.
Your college-bound teen tells you he doesn’t want to go to the college that is hard to get into and is opting for what you consider to be sub par.
Don’t panic or overreact. It’s possible he is scared. Try and ascertain the reasoning behind the decision. Don’t do this by badgering him or constantly asking him why. The best way to figure out what is wrong is to LISTEN. Listen to him talk about his day, about college, about how he feels. If fear is not the reason, perhaps he feels the other college would be a better fit. If that’s the case, do yourself a favor and back off. The worst thing you can do with a teenager is force him into a decision he feels is wrong. Sometimes the best lessons we learn are the ones that come from making our own decisions (right or wrong).
Your college-bound teen tells you that he simply MUST go to Private College A, even though she knows it comes with a high price tag.
Don’t let her bully you into sending her to a college you can’t afford AND one that will require a tremendous amount of student loan debt. Sit her down and explain to her the dangers of graduating in debt. Use the college repayment calculators if you have to. If she truly wants to go to Private College A, she needs to do the work (good grades, good SAT/ACT scores, great essay) to be awarded scholarship/grant money from that college.
It’s also worth considering that a private college may be similar in cost to a public university. Since many private colleges have generous alumni that donate, they often award large merit scholarships. Public universities are not as generous with aid.
Your college-bound teen is not interested in college, deadlines, studying for the SAT or any other path that leads him toward higher education.
If there is one thing I learned with both of my kids (and clients), if they aren’t invested in the college process they won’t be invested in college. Save yourself some time, money and heartache and wait until they are. If not, they can learn from the college of hard knocks–minimum wage jobs are the BEST motivator!
It’s also important to note that not every student is meant for college. There are, indeed, other options. Many have taken those different paths and been perfectly successful and happy. It could be time to consider alternatives to college.
Your college-bound teen misses deadlines, panics and comes running to you at the last minute to fix it.
The simplest way I know to avoid missing deadlines, is to get yourself a huge wall calendar and a fat red marker. Put it in a place that they have to pass by every single day. In addition, with all the smartphones and calendar apps available today, missing a deadline should be a thing of the past. At some point (hopefully when they go to college), they will have to fix their own problems. Let them do it now, while they live at home, and it will be easier for them once they are gone. Rescuing your kids all time only makes them into dependent adults and colleges aren’t impressed with those type of students or the parents that come with them.
Your college-bound teen suddenly announces she is not ready for college and wants to take a year off.
First of all, wait. Don’t react. Just listen. Odds are the mood will change with the wind and once all her friends are making college plans, that desire that she once had will kick back in. If not, let her know that it won’t be a “free-ride” year.
With the pandemic, gap years are becoming prevalent. Your student can use the time to investigate career options, work at an internship, volunteer in the community, or simply work and save money toward college.
If you have any questions or personal experiences you would like to share, please leave a comment here and share it with other parents. We learn from each other and from our mistakes and successes!
The world we now live in is resoundingly different than the world we grew up in. Applying to college has become the norm and parents and students take it seriously. The competition to get into college can be overwhelming at times for both parents and students.
Parenting has changed
In the 50’s, our parents let us have the run of the neighborhood. We rode our bikes everywhere, walked home from school alone, and rode the bus to the movies alone. In the summer, we left the house early in the morning and returned home in time for dinner. Our teachers terrified us and we knew if we misbehaved, our parents would back them up. There were no car seats or safety belts. You would never find anti-bacterial soap or even consider using it. When we turned 18, we either went to college or got a full-time job and moved out of the house.
began to change. Because of Adam Walsh, we watched our kids like a hawk. We weren’t quite ready to take away their freedom, but we worried. We worried about where they were, who they were with, and what dangers they might encounter when they were at school, outside, and at the mall. Parents began to question a teacher’s authority and loosened the grip on the discipline of their children. Spanking became taboo and “time out” emerged as a parenting technique.
At the beginning of the 21st century helicopter parenting emerged. It’s not like we planned for it to happen. It just did. We sheltered our children from any disappointment. Everyone on the team got a trophy. There were no winners or losers. We questioned all school authority. We would never consider letting them walk home alone or play outside without supervision. If they forgot their lunch, we took it to them. If they left their homework at home, we took it to school. We began to make every decision for them and protect them from every consequence. We began to feel the “parent peer pressure” for our children to be the best and the greatest. If they graduated from college and couldn’t find a job, they came home to live and thus the term “boomerang” generation was born.
How do you walk the tightrope of helicopter parenting?
How do we raise our children in this frightening world without overprotecting them from the disappointments and trials of life? What are the long-term risks of helicopter parenting?
Combine a little of the 50’s parenting, some of the 80’s style of parenting, and a very small amount of the 21st century parenting for the perfect parenting balance. There’s a fine line between cautious parenting and being a helicopter mom.
Ask yourself this question–Do you want your children to be independent successful adults or do you want them living in your basement for years and years depending on you to pay their bills and take care of them? Is it conceivable they will be going off to college and surviving alone, or calling you every day crying for help, or needing assistance with every life task? Will they be running home because they simply can’t survive without you?
My guess–your answers to every one of these questions would be a resounding NO!
