Tag Archives: college

Parents–Advise, but don’t invade!

Most parents would like to be involved in their child’s college selection process.  Sometimes it’s hard to know how much is enough, though.  From my perspective as a student, it’s best to monitor and advise, but not to invade.

I am the youngest of three children, so my parents were pros when it came to college admissions.  If you are experiencing your first child going off to college, that’s a whole other ball game which may require more planning and research.  No matter what, keep in mind that this decision affects your child more than it affects you, so let them make the final decision.

My parents had a tactful strategy. They had several early conversations with me about what I found important in a potential school.  These aspects generally included a strong marketing program (my major), plentiful extracurricular opportunities, and a comfortable campus with an active & social student body.  My parents would share their concerns, which included campus safety, finances, distance from home, etc.

Once they knew that I had listened to their point of view, I was free to research any schools I wanted. I came up with a list of around fifteen schools and eventually narrowed that down to the six that I would apply to.  As soon as I had my finalists, my parents went into hyperdrive.  They made lists, spreadsheets and poster board-sized charts about the benefits and drawbacks of attending these schools.  They helped me rank my schools into ‘reach schools,’ ‘safety schools’ and the ones that fell somewhere in the middle.  Finally, my dad accompanied me on a trip to the east coast to visit a couple of them.

Ultimately, I decided to attend Syracuse University, a choice that my parents and I were equally comfortable with.  My mom swears that after all the time she spent looking into other schools, she “always knew I would go to Syracuse.”

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Adam Britten is a senior at Syracuse University majoring in Marketing Management.  Follow him on Twitter @AdamBritten.  Read his previous post on this blog, “The most important questions to ask a campus tour guide.”

The Most Important Questions to ask a Campus Tour Guide

qiestopmsWhen you are touring a school for the first time, you will have many opportunities to ask questions.  Don’t throw them away by not speaking up; this is your chance to learn the real truth about the campus.  Nobody knows the ins-and-outs of a school better than a student tour guide.  While giving tours of Syracuse University, I’ve heard some interesting questions, and some that were downright strange.  But the worst is when people don’t ask questions at all.  Before you visit, brainstorm and prepare yourself.  Don’t waste your time asking questions like “what’s the student/faculty ratio” or “how many people apply every year.”  The answers to basic questions like these are usually readily available in the school’s online and offline publications.  If you are about to tour a potential school, here are the questions you should ask.

Questions for students to ask:

How is the food? If you have time, try to eat a meal in the dining hall.  You’ll be eating there a lot, so you might want to try it once before you commit to eating whatever they dish out on a daily basis.

Is the weather always like this? It snows a lot at my school (…understatement of the century.)  Most prospective students visit in the spring, though, so I feel the need to tell them that we don’t normally get to walk to class in shorts.  You’ll be there for at least a couple different seasons, so make sure you are prepared.

Where’s the party? Don’t lie, you want to know. It’s okay to ask.

What makes this school unique? Instead of asking the tour guide about his/her “favorite part of college,” be more specific.  All schools have quirks, and it’s important to be aware of them.

Questions for parents to ask:

What’s the best way to travel to/from campus? This question is especially important if you live far away.  Get the inside scoop about nearby airports, bus stops and train stations.  If your child isn’t bring a car to school, it’s also a good idea to start asking around about sharing the driving for holidays and breaks.

How’s the relationship between students and campus security officials? You won’t be around to watch your child’s every move, so be certain that the proper steps are being taken to keep them safe.

Do you like your professors? High school teachers are one thing, but college professors are a totally different breed.  Make sure your child has good ones.

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Today’s guest post was written by Adam Britten. Adam is a senior at Syracuse University majoring in Marketing Management.  Follow him on Twitter @AdamBritten.  Read his previous post on this blog, “Finding a New Home.”

Parenting college-bound teens without pushing

 

It’s hard. I know. I’ve been there. You want your kids to have the BEST education available. You want them to want it as much as you do. You see them making some choices that you know they will regret. As hard as you try, you find yourself pressuring them to make the right choice and the battle lines are drawn. They dig their heels in. You dig your heels in. And the tug of war begins.

What’s a parent to do when they feel their college-bound teens are making the wrong choices related to college? Take a deep breath and read these examples (along with my suggestions)–

Your college-bound teen tells you he doesn’t want to go to the college that is hard to get into and is opting for what you consider to be sub par.

Don’t panic or overreact. It’s possible he is scared. Try and ascertain the reasoning behind the decision. Don’t do this by badgering him or constantly asking him why. The best way to figure out what is wrong is to LISTEN. Listen to him talk about his day, about college, about how he feels. If fear is not the reason, perhaps he feels the other college would be a better fit. If that’s the case, do yourself a favor and back off. The worst thing you can do with a teenager is force him into a decision he feels is wrong. Sometimes the best lessons we learn are the ones that come from making our own decisions (right or wrong).

Your college-bound teen tells you that he simply MUST go to Private College A, even though she knows it comes with a high price tag.

Don’t let her bully you into sending her to a college you can’t afford AND one that will require a tremendous amount of student loan debt. Sit her down and explain to her the dangers of graduating in debt. Use the college repayment calculators if you have to. If she truly wants to go to Private College A, she needs to do the work (good grades, good SAT/ACT scores, great essay) to be awarded scholarship/grant money from that college. If not, there are always other options and choices.

Your college-bound teen is not interested in college, deadlines, studying for the SAT or any other path that leads him toward higher education.

If there is one thing I learned with both of my kids (and clients), if they aren’t invested in the college process they won’t be invested in college. Save yourself some time, money and heartache and wait until they are. If not, they can learn from the college of hard knocks–minimum wage jobs are the BEST motivator!

Your college-bound teen misses deadlines, panics and comes running to you at the last minute to fix it.

The simplest way I know to avoid missing deadlines, is to get yourself a huge wall calendar and a fat red marker. Put it in a place that they have to pass by every single day. In addition, with all the smartphones and calendar apps available today, missing a deadline should be a thing of the past. At some point (hopefully when they go to college), they will have to fix their own problems. Let them do it now, while they live at home, and it will be easier for them once they are gone. Rescuing your kids all time only makes them into dependent adults and colleges aren’t impressed with those type of students or the parents that come with them.

Your college-bound teen suddenly announces she is not ready for college and wants to take a year off.

First of all, wait. Don’t react. Just listen. Odds are the mood will change with the wind and once all her friends are making college plans, that desire that she once had will kick back in. If not, let her know that it won’t be a “free-ride” year. She will be expected to work and save the money she makes for college.

If you have any questions or personal experiences you would like to share, please leave a comment here and share it with other parents. We learn from each other and from our mistakes and successes!

Disclaimer: These are my “suggestions”. I don’t claim to be a parenting expert, just a parent who has faced these same problems and learned from them. Take my wisdom as you will and realize that every family dynamic is different.

Tips for Helping Your College-Bound Teen Reduce Stress

Is your college-bound teenager feeling stressed about going to college? Let your teen know he or she is not alone; it happens to a lot of college-bound teenagers. Teens feel stressed when they perceive a situation to be difficult, dangerous, or painful. Those going off to college often worry about finding new friends, fitting in with the college crowd, being away from home, getting good grades, and a number of other issues. What can parents do to help? Here are some tips to help your teenagers get rid of stress:

  • Listen: Ask what’s bothering them. Listen and don’t be judgmental. Allow your teenagers to express their opinions.
  • Provide emotional support: By showing your teenagers you care about their feelings, they will feel more connected to you. Don’t criticize or trivialize their stressful feelings. They may seem to be overstressed about about going to college, but remember that teens don’t have the same perspective as adults. Provide reinforcement by giving compliments.
  • Realistic expectations: If part of the stress is due to expectations of grades, be realistic with them about your own expectations of their grades.
  • Support: Encourage teenagers to spend time with friends and relatives who provide positive reinforcement. Friends can help keep your teenager happy and motivated. College students or recent college graduates can be helpful. They can put things in proper perspective and talk about the good times they had while attending college.
  • Be positive: Remind your teenager that these anxious feelings will go away. Encourage your teen to look at the fun aspects of attending college.
  • Teens expressing themselves: Creative activities such as painting, drawing, dancing, and singing reduce tension.
  • Exercise: Exercise releases hormones in the body which lower stress levels. Yoga and meditation relieve stress. Some experts believe sunlight relieves stress. Sunlight is important for the body’s regulation of chemicals, so exercising outdoors is a good option. Also, stressed teens should avoid caffeine drinks.
  • Sleep: Make sure your teen goes to bed early enough to get a good night sleep.
  • Volunteering: Helping other people can help your teen stop worrying about himself.
  • Relaxation: Breathing and muscle relaxation techniques can help your teenager relax.

Stress is a common problem for college-bound teenagers. By addressing the problem and taking action you can help your teenager get rid of stress.

Online Resources

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Brian Jenkins has been writing about a variety topics helpful to college students for BrainTrack since 2008. For more information about BrainTrack, visit our Facebook page.

Smart Spending (and saving) for college students

It’s never too early to teach our kids to spend smart and save. If you get them in the habit before they go off to college, it’s much easier for them to see the value once they are away from home. Today’s post by Real College Guide gives us some good ways to teach our kids to save, even if they aren’t in college yet!

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Being a college student used to mean eating three packs of ramen noodles a day and biking around campus because gassing up your 1985 Chevy was too expensive. Whether you work a part-time job or get an allowance from your parents, you can learn some key concepts to saving and spending wisely — now and after college.

Smart Spending
There are plenty of ways to save a few bucks every day. Dr. Dick Verrone, personal-finance professor for the Cameron School of Business at the University of North Carolina, Wilmington, has these penny-pinching tips:

  • Order water. Don’t get soft drinks when you’re eating out. Why pay $2 for 150 soda calories? Also, Verrone says, “Never order orange juice.” OJ is extremely overpriced at restaurants, and most of the time it’s from concentrate.
  • Limit your pocket cash. When going out on the town, take a 20-spot, and leave your cards at home. You’ll be forced to keep your tab under $20.
  • Buy quality clothing items. They may be a little more expensive, but they’ll last longer. Verrone also definitely approves of outlet shopping. But before making purchases, think: Do I need this? If not, don’t buy it!
  • Switch your prescriptions. Change your name-brand medications to generic ones. You can usually save about $20 per med this way.

Clipping “Coups”
OK, most college students don’t have easy access to a daily paper or coupon flyer, so how do you save with coupons and special discounts?

  • Look online. If you’re going to the sporting-goods store, for example, type the name of the store into the search engine, along with the words coupon codes. Lots of websites track down discount codes for online shopping, as well as printable coupons for buying items in-store.
  • Sign up for discount alerts via text. Some campuses have local text-message discount services — check at your student center or information desk. (Of course, this is not a good idea if you don’t have an unlimited cell-phone plan.) Mike Meyer, a UNCW senior, is signed up for deals in North Carolina at CouponstoYourPhone.com. “Every Monday, I get a coupon-text for one of my favorite restaurants,” he says. “It’s awesome.”
  • Purchase a coupon book. These books pack hundreds of coupons, usually for buy-one-get-one-free offers. They’re worth the $25 (if you buy one from a campus organization’s fund-raiser) or even $35 (available online at Entertainment.com) after just a few uses.

Long-term Saving
Verrone recommends getting into the habit of saving now to set yourself up for an easier financial situation after graduation. “Make the amount small enough so you can do it,” he says, such as saving $5 per week or $10 each month.

  • Set up an automatic transfer. Most large banking institutions, such as Bank of America or Wachovia, will let you set up transfers between linked checking and savings accounts. Meyer has $30 a month transferred. “That’s how I saved money for spring break freshman year,” he says.
  • Start an individual retirement account. No, you’re not too young! This is the time to do it. “Once you’ve accumulated $200 to $300, open a Roth IRA and continue to fund it every month from your savings,” advises Verrone. Even if you continue to only save that $10 per month, you’ll be accumulating real money for the future.
  • Watch your money grow. Let your savings work for you by investing in mutual funds with low expenses and superior performance records, suggests Verrone. Consult a financial adviser at your bank for more information.
  • Consider an online banking service. Having an online bank can be a good outlet for putting away large sums of money that you can still access without penalties (unlike with an IRA). Online banks usually provide higher interest rates, although transfers take two to three business days. Meyer has a savings account with INGDirect and loves it: “A two-day transfer is more of a commitment, so I have to really think about it before I make that decision.”

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This article was written by Ocean Gildee for The Real College Guide and is made available to Parents Countdown to College Coach through a partnership with The Real College Guide.

Kaplan-FREE NOOKbooks

Parents–I wanted to pass this offer along because it’s FREE!

We’re pleased to announce that we’re offering over 130 NOOKbook titles from Kaplan Publishing for FREE through January 17. You’ll find a wide range of Kaplan’s indispensable test prep books for PSAT, AP, SAT and more. Plus we’re offering other great general interest titles like Math for Moms and Dads and Write For Life. These NOOKbook editions are compatible with our award-winning NOOK and NOOKcolor e-Readers, our free e-Textbook application NOOKstudy, as well as our NOOK apps for iPad, iPhone, Android and PC.

Find the full offering of over 130 FREE Kaplan titles here.

Finding a New Home

As a student who is rapidly approaching college graduation, the process of getting in feels like a distant memory now.  While I can now look back and laugh, I took the process seriously and put a lot of time, effort and emotion into it.  I think that with college admissions the old saying is true: you get out of it what you put into it. I have loved every element of my college experience, and that is because from the beginning I knew I picked the right school.  The best advice I have is to think about it from all angles.  Remember that you will be living there for four very important years.

I started looking for the right university when I was in middle school.  I know that seems a little early, but I had two older brothers.  When I was young, I was already exploring college campuses and trying to picture myself there.  My oldest brother attended Syracuse University, so the first time I actually visited the school I was 13 years old.  It wasn’t until a few years later that I actually started looking for my own school.

One thing I knew was that I wanted to attend a school with an excellent undergraduate business program. Going to a school that has strong departments in what you want to learn is crucial.  When you visit campuses, the number one question you will hear is “why are you interested in attending this school?” My answer to this question was that I liked the subjects of the specific classes they offered.  Many faculty members and admissions officers I spoke to said that this was a rare answer, which shocked me.  Research the curriculum!  Ask current students, email professors, do what ever you need to do ensure that you will be excited for classes instead of sleeping through them. (That habit can get you into some awkward situations.)

Ultimately, I decided to go to Syracuse because it exceeded all of my requirements.  Set goals for what you want to accomplish in college.  If a certain school doesn’t give you opportunity to achieve those goals, cross that school off your list. Once you finally visit a campus you are meant to attend, you will  feel at home.

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Today’s post was written by Adam Britten, a marketing management major at Syracuse University.  Follow him on Twitter @AdamBritten.  Read about his experiences as a volunteer teacher in South Africa for USA Today’s College Blog.

Parenting is NOT for cowards!

Recently I received an email from one of my list subscribers telling me that parents want more than the facts, they want the DETAILS. Then I received an email from a distressed parent, concerned that her son was making the wrong college choice and she wanted to know what to do and how to react.

Let’s face it: parenting is NOT for cowards! Just when you think you have the terrible two’s figured out, along comes grade school woes (and all it entails), middle school trauma (with puberty), and high school drama (with the college admissions process thrown in for good measure). I had a friend who once told me, “potty training ain’t NOTHING compared to parenting a teenager!” She was right!

Parenting is in the details; and knowing where to find those details is often hard. That’s why I created my Parents Countdown to College Coach blog. It’s here to help you find those details; because it’s impossible for me to provide every detail for every question you might have. But, I’ve gathered a wide network of experts to help you find those answers and fill in the blanks where I can’t. If you’re a smart parent (and I know you are) you will utilize each and every one of these resources to help you with all your questions.

Watch my blog over the next few weeks when I feature my favorite college experts and tell you why I think they are BETTER than Santa’s helpers!

And if you’re one of those parents that want ALL the information right at your fingertips, you can find it in my Parents Countdown to College Toolkit.

Create-A-Greeting-Card Scholarship

When I come across a scholarship that doesn’t require an essay, I like to pass it along to my parent readers (who hopefully will pass it along to their college-bound teens!). If you have a teen (14 or older) interested in graphic arts, art, or even photography, this $10,000 scholarship could be a big help toward the cost of college.

Here are the rules:

  • Submit original artwork, computer graphic or photo for the front of a greeting card.
  • Submissions accepted from March 17, 2010-January 15, 2011
  • Monthly winners will receive a $75 Amazon gift card
  • Must be 14 years or older and enrolled in high school or college

Check out the past winners and applicants for a good idea of how the contest is judged.

Here’s the official Scholarship page link:

The 4th Annual Create-A-Greeting Card Scholarship

My Top 10 Posts–Helping Parents Parent

 

After reading Chris’ guest blog post on Character (The #1 Key to Success in College), I felt it might be prudent to bring back my “best of the best” posts specifically directed toward helping parents parent their college-bound teens. Feel free to pass the link along to other parents (pretty please????).

1. Is college just about ROI?
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/11/is-college-just-about-roi/

2. 10 concepts your teen should learn BEFORE college
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/04/10-concepts/

3. Top 10 things every parents should know about “hooking up” in college
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/04/hooking-up-in-college/

4. Motivating an under-achiever toward college
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2009/12/motivating-an-underachiever-toward-college/

5. Top 10 Do’s and Don’ts of parenting a college-bound teen
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/05/parenting-college-bound-teens/

6. Top 10 Questions parents ask about college
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/06/top-10-questions-parents-ask-about-college/

7. Being realistic about college debt
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/06/being-realistic-about-college-debt/

8. Being a parent college coach: the three C’s
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2009/05/being-a-parent-college-coach-the-3-cs/

9. Preparing your teen for college
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2009/05/preparing-your-teen-for-college-its-all-about-guiding-not-doing/

10. Six Campus Safety talking points
http://www.parentingforcollege.com/2010/05/campus-safety/