Tag Archives: college

college guidance, college prep

It’s a Match: Fall in Love with Your 2nd Choice College

 

This article was originally published on Smart College Visit as part of my Parent College Coach tips. In honor of Valentine’s Day, I wanted to repost it.

 

2nd choice college

A song by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, “Love the One You’re With”, brings me back to my teen years. Yes. It dates me. But it reminds me of a good piece of advice my mother once gave me: you can’t always get what you want, but what you need is often better.

This might be a strange parley into today’s tip, but it got me thinking about college acceptances and the inevitable rejections that often arrive. Students all over the country who applied regular admission are biting their nails waiting to hear from their first choice colleges. Will they be accepted? Will they be wait-listed? Or will the college they dreamed of reject their application and not offer admission.

What do you do when that happens? First you let your teen grieve, and maybe you grieve, and then you move on. If you crafted a good college list, there are some perfectly wonderful colleges on that list—they may not be the first choice, but they are often the best choice. Your student may not be “in love” with those other choices, but it might be time to love the one you’re with and move on.

Here are 5 good reasons to fall in love with your 2nd, or 3rd, or 4th choice college:

1. Everything happens for a reason–How many times have we all said this to our children? There could be a dozen reasons why their 1st choice college didn’t offer them admission or enough financial aid to attend. Admissions counselors tell us that each application is a subjective process and they can’t admit everyone. While it might seem like a rejection to your teen, in reality it’s their decision that your student might not be a good fit for their college. Take that as a cue to move on and find the college that feels they ARE a perfect fit!

2. In the light of day everything seems different–College choices are often made based on peer pressure, parent pressure and status. After all the hype and stress of applying, it’s easier to sit down and look at the choices your student made in a more objective light. The pressure of applying is now gone and all you need to do is thoughtfully evaluate those colleges that have offered admission. The ball is now in your court–you get to decide!

3. A closer look might reveal a hidden gem–Take some time and diligently investigate the colleges further down on the list that have offered acceptance. Compare offers, visit their campuses again, talk to current students and be open to discovery. You never know what you might unearth in the process.

4. Those other colleges on your list are more than sloppy seconds–Your 2nd and 3rd choice college made the list for a reason. Don’t look at them as sloppy seconds, but realize that they could have been your 1st choice all along. How many of us have passed over life choices, only to realize later that we discounted their value and missed out on amazing opportunities.

5. What you NEED is always better than what you WANT–It’s true. We often want things that aren’t always the best for us. We teach our kids to pursue needs before wants; the same can be true for the college choices. Your teen may want an Ivy League logo on their vehicle, but what they need might be a small private university with smaller classes and individual attention.

college prep, parenting

Get Ready for College: It’s Going to be a Bumpy Ride!

 

ready for college

Your child going away to college is likely to bring a mixture of emotions. You might be proud, upset and overwhelmed all at one time. So, you need to make sure you prepare and plan to help them (and yourself) through it. Here are some tips that might help you get ready for college:

Accommodations

One of the key things you need to think about when it comes to college life is accommodations. Where will your student live while attending college? Will he live in the dorm? Will he live off campus? Will he live at home and commute? You should sit down and discuss his options. Once you decide, act quickly. On campus housing goes quickly, so be prepared to sign up as soon as your student accepts an offer of admission. If your student is living off campus, investigate options early. Housing off campus also fills up quickly.

Finances

Paying for college and tuition fees will be a huge expense. If you want your child to go to a good school, it’s going to cost you. Many parents like to start saving when they’re children are born, and will set up a college fund. But, you also need to be aware of the fact that this might not always be possible. In some scenarios, you’re not going to have the money saved, and this is when you need financial support. This is where things like AES loans come in handy. Make sure you assess everything as a family and decide on the best loan for your child’s education and future.

Nerves

Everyone is going to have nerves in this sort of scenario. You may be nervous about what the future holds for your child. But, think about how nervous they are going to be as they’ll actually be going through it! It’s important to try to remain calm and to be there to offer advice. Your child is going to have questions for you, and will look to you for support. It’s up to you to calm their nerves (and your own) by offering advice and support. Being nervous is natural with any big life change, and this is something you need to make sure you address.

Make Sure They’re Happy

It’s important to make sure your child is happy with this upcoming chapter in their life. You need to make sure that college is something they want to do. It’s crucial that they’re in the best possible frame of mind, so you need to keep an eye out for any pre-college anxiety. Going away to college is a big step in life and something they need to adapt to. And the only way of ensuring that is to make sure they are perfectly placed to enjoy everything college life offers.

When your child is going off to college, there are going to be a lot of things to address. And, as the parent, you should take responsibility for many of them. You have to make sure that you help your child choose the right college and major. And you need to make sure you address issues of finances and accommodations. If you can focus on these, your child’s transition to college should be smooth.

book reviews, parenting

10 Books for Parents of Soon-to-Be College Students

 

books for parentsIt’s graduation gift time. High school students are graduating with aspirations of college in the fall. Graduation gift guides are dominating the online world. But why not treat yourself to a few gifts that will help you with the transition from high school to college?

These books for parents should provide great summer reading and future reference as your teen heads to college in the fall:

Naked Roommate: For Parents Only

If your child is starting life in college, there’s a surprise around every corner…But that doesn’t mean you can’t be prepared! This book is a witty and wise guide to everything you need to know about the college experience. Harlan Cohen, America’s most trusted college life expert, delivers the best advice, facts, stats, tips, and stories from parents, students, and experts across the country to ensure that you and your child will have an incredible and meaningful college experience.

 

Parents of College Students Survival Stories

Wendy David-Gaines, the author, is famous for exposing the cliches about college. After giving the cliche, she gives you the “POCS reality”. In her book, Wendy does this effectively by compiling actual parent stories. The stories (both from pre-POCS and POCS) are simple, light-hearted, often humorous and an easy read. But here’s the clincher–they provide parents with added insight into each individual situation.

 

University Parent Guide to Supporting Your Student’s Freshman Year

This guide is divided into time segments throughout your student’s first year of college: summer, early fall, late fall, and spring. Each division provides parents with all the information they need help their student through each segment of the first year of college.

The summer segment (Get Ready), deals with topics related to the changes you will face as your role changes, what to expect at orientation, roommates, budgeting, and campus culture. The fall segment (Settling In), discusses topics like move-in day, greek life, parent visits, and how to deal with struggling students. The late fall segment (Adjusting), deals with care packages, holidays, diet and exercise, studying abroad. The spring segment (Looking Forward), talks about sophomore topics like housing, student stress, transferring and student loans. The final chapter gives you areas to write down phone numbers, important dates and a typical 4-year checklist.

 

Secrets of a Financial Aid Pro

Jodi Okun’s book launched today and the presales put it on the Amazon #1 Best Seller list. This book is more than help for financial aid questions. In it you can find out how to give your student the financial skills they’ll need for life, with talking points and scripts to help you with important conversations you need to have before college. Jodi provides parents with expert advice and in this book shares her experiences of helping parents pay for college.

 

Letting Go: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years

This bestselling guide has already helped hundreds of thousands of parents over the past decade, and it remains one of the best guides for parents of new college students. Now in its fourth edition, this guide is based on the real-world experiences of students and parents. It’s filled with practical, compassionate, and timely college tips for parents going through the college experience.

 

Don’t Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money: The Essential Parenting Guide to the College Years

This book offers a whimsical, humorous, but also practical guide for parents with college-bound children. Featuring real-life examples and dialogues, the author provides parents with need-to-know fundamentals as their student goes off to college.

 

You’re On Your Own (But I’m Here if You Need Me)

Many parents struggle with setting the appropriate boundaries for their college students and this book can be a big help. Marjorie Savage has some of the best college tips for parents on how to respect a student’s boundaries while still providing emotional support.

 

From Mom to Me Again

When her children left for college, Melissa Shultz was certain that she had prepared them well for their new lives-but her own life was a different matter entirely. Her house was empty, her purpose unclear. If her life was no longer dominated by the day-to-day demands of being “Mom,” then who exactly was she? And how would she ever move forward? Shultz’s struggle with the empty nest and the transformation of her marriage, friendships, career, and ultimately herself, is part memoir and part self-help guide.

 

How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success

In this book, Julie Lythcott-Haims draws on research, on conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers, and on her own insights as a mother and as a student dean to highlight the ways in which overparenting harms children, their stressed-out parents, and society at large. While empathizing with the parental hopes and, especially, fears that lead to overhelping, Lythcott-Haims offers practical alternative strategies that underline the importance of allowing children to make their own mistakes and develop the resilience, resourcefulness, and inner determination necessary for success.

 

Debt Free U

Zac Bissonnette has seen the currently flawed system first hand. He’s a contrarian, and his book is packed with studies and statistics to back up his analysis. It’s a magical combination that college-bound students and their parents should read, even if there’s plenty of money set aside to pay the tuition tab. There’s no harm in learning ways to get the biggest bang for your buck and the best education available at the same time.

academics, college guidance

How to Excel in College

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excel in college

It takes years of hard work to get into college and on the path to your dream career. If you’ve made it to college, congratulations are in order – you’ve passed high school and got onto the course you need to be on. Of course, once you’re in college there’s a lot of pressure to do well. Most of the pressure comes from the worry of not getting high enough grades, as college classes are a lot harder than high school ones. The difference in the level of learning can be a shock to the system when you first start college.

A lot of college students struggle to get the grades that they need, so if you’re finding it hard, you’re not alone. The good news is that in most cases, there are plenty of ways you can help to improve your grades. You’ll be amazed at how making a few small changes can have a big impact on how well you excel in college. Take the below tips on board and you can give your grades the boost that they need.

Go to class

This might be an obvious one, but it needs to be said. Lots of students skip classes and then wonder why they struggle to achieve good grades. If you want to do well at college, you need to attend all of your classes. Unless you’re sick, you have no excuse for not being there. If you’re serious about getting high grades, you need to make an effort to attend every class.

Copying your friend’s notes won’t let you catch up properly, as there will always be little things that you miss. The slides from the lecture might be uploaded onto the college internet, but that still won’t allow you to catch up completely. In class, there will be discussion, examples, and so on, that if you’re not there, you will miss. It’s simple, if you want to do well, you need to attend each and every class.

Understand each lecturer

Every lecturer or professor has a different method of teaching. If you’re going to do well, you need to make an effort to understand each lecturer’s way of teaching. Each professor wants something different from their students, so finding out what this is early, is a must. You’ll find that by understanding what your lecturers want from you, you’ll do better in their classes.

Your grades aren’t just down to assignments but also your in-class contribution. So it’s essential that you know what your professors want from you. Else, you could get marked down because you’re not doing what you’re supposed to be. Don’t be afraid to tell your professor that you’re struggling to keep up – they’re there to help you.

Get organized

Being a successful college student is all about learning to multi-task, and the key to this is organization. The chances are that at any one time, you’ll have various assignments to work on. That’s why it’s so important that you’re organized about your studies. Else, you’ll end up being overwhelmed with due dates and work that needs to be done; you might even forget something. If you’re organized about your studies, you can ensure that you spend adequate time working on each task. You won’t need to stress about forgetting anything, as you’ll have everything under control.

The best tools for staying organized while at college have to be planners. Day planners are fantastic as they allow you to schedule your classes, assignments dates, and any other tasks you need to do. There’s also room to jot down when you’re working. This allows you to ensure that you’re on top of everything and that nothing important gets missed out.

Use your time wisely

This links to organization. If you want to ensure that your grades are good, you need to use your time wisely. Of course, having a planner to schedule your time helps with this, but that’s not all it takes. In periods of free time, if you have a task to do, complete it. Don’t waste your time, use every minute wisely.

Of course, you need time to chill out and see your friends, but that shouldn’t take up a large part of your day. You need to prioritize your time, so that your studies always come first. It’s also important to break big projects into smaller parts, and schedule time to focus on each part. This makes getting the work done easier, as it won’t be too overwhelming.

Take notes in class

Another important reason for ensuring that you’re in every class is taking notes. If you want to ensure that you remember everything from the lecture, you need to note the important things down. This will mean that when you come to write an assignment, you can look back at the notes you’ve taken in class about the topic.

After class, it’s worth typing up your notes. For each class, write the notes up on your computer and save them in a file with the module name. That way, should you lose your notebook, you’ll have all your notes safely stored. You could opt to print them out for revision and use them to make mind maps and memory cards.

Improve your essay writing

A large chunk of your overall grade is down to your essays and assignments. This means that if you want to do well, you need to ensure that your writing is at a high standard. It’s not just about improving your writing style and tone; you also need to think about your punctuation and grammar. To improve your punctuation and grammar, Grammarly is a fantastic tool for checking your work. It points out any errors and makes suggestions of what you should change them to.

If you struggle when it comes to finding essay topics, you can find help online. (A lot of professors only give an outline of what they want, and ask students to choose the topic themselves.) There are examples of good argumentative essay topics online, as well as examples of various assignments. These can be incredibly helpful when it comes to improving your essay writing.

Buy the suggested books

Last but not least, buy the recommended books. Your professors will give you a reading list for a reason, so make sure to take advantage of it. The books on the list might be expensive, but they’re worth investing in, especially if you want to do well. They’re a great source of research and are ideal for looking up anything from your classes that you’re unsure about.

If you can’t afford to buy them, most of the recommended books will be available in your campus library. Or you could consider getting them second hand from older students or online. Don’t let the cost hold you back, get the books that you need to be successful.

Hopefully, this advice will help to improve your grades and get you the degree that you need.

 

careers, parenting

Should Every Child Go to College?

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college

I published this article about five years ago, but I feel it’s content is still true today. Too many parents push students to go to college when they are not prepared either academically, emotionally or financially. So many students go and fail because college is simply not for them.

_____________________

I read an article a few years ago in The Atlantic: “In the Basement of the Ivory Tower“, that gave me some food for thought. It’s been on my mind for quite awhile, especially since I have a close friend who is a financial aid counselor at one of those infamous “for profit” colleges.

She would answer my leading question with a loud and emphatic, “NO”, based on her experience dealing with those who are not prepared to attend college and don’t understand the consequences of borrowing money they can’t pay back. They have been convinced that without a college education, they can’t get a job or pursue a career. They’ve been told by someone that it doesn’t matter how much money you borrow as long as you get that degree. Once you get that degree you can earn enough money to pay back what you’ve borrowed. But we all know that’s not often the case.

In the above mentioned article, the English professor makes an interesting point:

America, ever-idealistic, seems wary of the vocational-education track. We are not comfortable limiting anyone’s options. Telling someone that college is not for him seems harsh and classist and British, as though we were sentencing him to a life in the coal mines. I sympathize with this stance; I subscribe to the American ideal.

Sending everyone under the sun to college is a noble initiative. Academia is all for it, naturally. Industry is all for it; some companies even help with tuition costs. Government is all for it; the truly needy have lots of opportunities for financial aid. The media applauds it—try to imagine someone speaking out against the idea. To oppose such a scheme of inclusion would be positively churlish.

I’ve come to realize that Americans truly are snobs. We brag about what we have and what we have obtained. Like it or not, we are a classist society. We snub our noses at those who haven’t been to college and brag heavily about our numerous degrees as if they are badges of honor. And while graduating from college is an accomplishment, so is learning a trade.

Often, we push our kids to attend college when we know it’s not for them. Why? Because we are a society that measures success by the number of degrees hanging on a wall or the dollar signs that can be found on our bank accounts. It is noble to dream big and education is always a noble goal. But so is being a plumber, a carpenter, a cosmetologist or a civil servant like a police officer or fireman.

What’s my point? My point is that you need to know your child. If they want to go to college and have the skills and knowledge they need to be successful there, then encourage them to go. But if they aren’t interested or motivated, save yourself some heartache, disappointment and money by letting them pursue a trade or career and even consider a college that offers both. There are so many fabulous careers out there that they can do without higher education. You will be happier, they will be happier and they will fill an important role in society. College really isn’t for child.

admissions, college guidance, tutoring

3 Tips to Help Your Child Prepare and Get Accepted to a Great College

 

collegeMost parents are thinking about their child’s collegiate future from the moment they enter high school, if not before. Some students are proactive about choosing a dream college and back-up options, while others need extra guidance from their parents to make those decisions. And regardless of whether your child is applying to one school or ten, the application process and months leading up to it are probably stressful for you as well!

You want to make sure they do their best work throughout their high school years, building up the knowledge and experience that will serve them in college, plus that they’ll put their best foot forward with the application process to increase their chances of being accepted. If this sounds like something you’re experiencing, here are some helpful tips you can follow to help your child prepare and be successful.

1.  Find a volunteering opportunity to share with your child.

The benefits of volunteerism are plentiful. Kids who volunteer learn about an important social cause and that they have the ability to make a positive impact on the world around them, even in a small way. It’s a great bonding experience for parents and children to do together. It also makes a meaningful addition to any resume.

2. Help your child raise low grades.

Tutoring is a great resource for students of all ages. Tutors are trained to help students study and learn specific subject matter plus develop learning strategies that they can employ in the future. Students who partner with a tutor not only have the opportunity to bring up their grades, but to value the importance of working to overcome difficulties. They also learn that they are capable and competent learners, even in subjects that don’t come naturally to them.

3. Encourage your child to pursue a passion.

High school students have a lot to focus on as they prepare for college life. Many juggle schoolwork with part-time jobs, obligations at home, and time with friends. They can improve their quality of life and maybe even open the door for new opportunities in the future by pursuing a hobby with fervor and merging it with their academic interests. For example, if they love skateboarding, help them look for opportunities to take that interest to the next level. Are there any local competitions at which they can volunteer their time or a skate shop where they can work a day or two a week? If they’re an aspiring writer, can they volunteer to write an article for a local publication about the skating community where you live? Your child will appreciate the support you provide and feel empowered to pursue things that are of interest to them.

Most parents will attest to the fact that the best approach to take as you help your child prepare for college is to be their partner in the process. Consider their natural talents and interests, and help them get the support they need to excel in those areas that they find more challenging. By being a strong support system for them, you’ll be able to give them the extra tools and guidance they need to choose and be accepted into an excellent college.

______________________________

 dusty foxDusty Fox is a full-time world traveler and freelance writer who contributes to the Ivy Trainers network. Visit the Ivy Trainers website to learn more about the services they offer.

 

college guidance, college planning, mom approved tips

Mom-Approved Tips: Does It Matter WHERE You Go to College?

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where you go to collegeMuch is debated about college names and prestige, especially among parents. It’s logical that parents want their kids to have the best opportunities available. It’s illogical that they place more value in the name than in the education itself. But so many parents encourage their kids to make illogical college choices. Where you go to college is not as important as you might think.

A rose by another other name is just as sweet

The college education itself is more important than the college name. Your student can get an excellent education at a community college, a small liberal arts college, or are large state university.

Attitude means more than status

If a student isn’t invested in college, the college reputation won’t make him any more committed to the education. Attitude is everything. A student who desires a learning and life experience can make that happen in any college environment.

There’s more to an education than the cost

Expensive institutions would want you to believe that their price is high because your student will receive a better education. That is not the case. There are over 400 four-year universities and colleges in this country providing quality education.

Employers don’t care about the names

A colleague of mine told me that some of the best government contractors will shun Ivy League graduates over those of the state colleges. Here’s on recruiter’s perspective:

Sometimes the poor kid who had to pay his way through Chico State has the most pluck and is the most driven. These types of employees are sometimes the most successful of all, because they are used to working hard from the get-go and did not come by anything in life through their dad’s connections. They have no sense of entitlement, so are willing to get their hands dirty for the mission.

Read the rest of the article and you’ll see why a college name doesn’t always fly with job recruiters.

Bragging rights for parents doesn’t translate into a good college investment. What matters most is the fit—does the college fit into your student’s wants and needs academically, financially, and socially. Plopping down big bucks in the hopes of a big payback after graduation is not a wise decision unless all the criteria are met.

infographics, Uncategorized

College isn’t cheap (an infographic)

 

There’s no denying that college is outrageously expensive. And, unfortunately, it is only getting worse; while the average family income in the United States grew 147% in the years between 1982 and 2007, the cost of college grew by a staggering 440% in that same period. What that means in terms of real numbers is that the average cost of a four-year degree from a state school is now $30,000. Most American families do not have that kind of money up front, which necessitates that they borrow it from private or government programs that issue student loans. Unfortunately, student loans leave college graduates an average of $20,000 in debt when they finish school. And approximately 10% of graduates will have twice that debt to repay. Collectively, American students owe more than one trillion dollars.

Figures like these, in combination with the fact that only half of all college graduate obtained a full-time job in 2011, are why more than six million graduates cannot pay back their student loans. The economic recession that began in 2008 has made it exceptionally difficult for college graduates to find jobs in their field. The upshot is that students take on lower-paying jobs that do not require degrees in order to make ends meet. Even so, that limited income is, in many cases, not enough to pay back their debt.

Below is an infographic that illustrates the point. Click the infographic to see the entirety on the original site.

college isn't cheap

 

 

mom approved tips, Uncategorized

Mom-Approved Tips: The Truth about College

 

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truth about college

During our student’s senior year of high school we live in a bubble. All sights are set on one goal—getting into college. Students and parents focus on college selection, college applications, financial aid forms, and then we wait. We wait for the offers of admission to come pouring in and then we compare financial aid packages and help them pack their bags for college.

But wait. Is it really that simple? Hardly. Most parents would say it’s anything but simple; it takes work, commitment and perseverance on both parts—parents and students. Before your student sends off those applications, you should know the truth about college.

Acceptance doesn’t mean graduation

Did you know that graduation rates differ wildly from school to school. About 400,000 students drop out of college each year. When you research the college, look up their graduation rates. Low rates could send up a red flag. True, graduation rates don’t determine the quality of a degree. Yet students who start college but don’t finish are typically no better off than those who never even started, and in some cases might be worse off, if they took on debt.

I owe, I owe, so off to work I go (if they can find a job)

Even if your student graduates, it’s no guarantee they will secure a job; at least not one that will pay enough to cover too much student loan debt. Having that conversation about college costs should be a priority before they apply.

According to the College Board and other statistical resources student loan debt among graduates is at an all-time high:

•As of Quarter 1 in 2012, the average student loan balance for all age groups is $24,301.  About one-quarter of borrowers owe more than $28,000; 10% of borrowers owe more than $54,000; 3% owe more than $100,000; and less than 1%, or 167,000 people, owe more than $200,000.

•In 2010‑11, about 57% of public four‑year college students graduated with debt. They had borrowed an average of $23,800 (in 2011 dollars). About two‑thirds of those earning bachelor’s degrees from private nonprofit institutions had debt averaging $29,900.

Be cautious about student loans and if at all possible avoid them.

Will they stay, or will they go?

As many as one in three first-year students don’t make it back for sophomore year. The reasons run the gamut from family problems and loneliness to academic struggles and a lack of money. If schools you’re considering have a low freshman retention rate, you’ll want to ask the admissions office why. Some colleges do a great job of taking care of their freshmen; some don’t. That’s why it’s important to look at these rates when making college choices.

It’s a jungle out there

Even if you and your student do everything right, there’s going to be bumps in the road. They will call complaining of roommates, homesickness, and frustration with their classes. The best thing to do is listen and know that most times, those complaints get less and less and they eventually cease after they have settled in. Don’t be surprised if this happens to your bright, self-sufficient independent student. Just one word of advice—fight the urge to rescue them. It’s time they learn to fight their own battles.

 

college planning

College Then and Now: What has changed?

 

college now and thenWhile Americans have been going to college for over three hundred and fifty years of our history, only within the past three decades has the landscape of higher education changed drastically.  Students today now have less of a chance of becoming hired for a job after graduation, yet more and more of them are entering into the college ranks.  How has the history of university studies changed in the span of a single generation? What was college like then and now?

Personal Computing

Perhaps no change has affected college life like the availability of computers.  In the 1980s, students could take computers to university, but only the wealthiest could afford them.  Indeed, many colleges may not have even offered computers to students, instead providing typewriters to compose lab reports and essays with.  Today, a computer is a mandatory part of any higher education program, and it is extremely difficult to go through college without one.  Teachers communicate exclusively by email to their students outside of the class, while more and more courses are moving to the digital classroom itself in order to provide instruction across time and space.  Indeed, it is now possible to get a complete university education in your own home with an Internet connection.

Continue reading College Then and Now: What has changed? →